MARGIN CALL TIME, GENTLEMEN

Three different scenarios will play out here; but most people trying to game it will lose.

We continue this fade and dive into the fucking rocks, into the bell, begging for mercy.

Or

The market fades the faders. Margin calls get liquidated. Natural buyers step in, stoking the flames of a short squeeze, running hot into the bell.

Or

We do none of that shit and just sort of limp into the bell, no viagra, no cialis. Just straight up impotency in a great big whore house.

Place your bets you degenerates. I’ll be over here eating sandwiches.

Bear  in mind that GILD just did a $10 billion convertible bond offering, usually an early tell on a company’s intentions to buy back shares or making an all cash acquisition.

It’s amazing how hated the medicine man stocks are right now. Look at my ONCE. They hosted a conference call this morning to calm down investor fears of their phase 3 trials, said all good things, and the stock dropped 4 on the open.

You people need to unwind, take it easy, and smoke a few phillied blunts stuffed with marijuana.

The market looks fine. PANW is showing you something and no one is paying attention.

How is CYBR down today?

Both distressed biotech and social media are worth a shot here, if you haven’t already made your 10 billion dollar fortune (extra David Tepper).

Can I just say that this investors conference that we are planning is the bane of my existence? I truly regret emeshing myself in it; but the show must go on.

Here’s what we got planned, so far.

1. The Option Addict just emailed me his itineray. Tell me what you think.

Understanding Market Dynamics – How to gauge speed, correlations,patterns, and direction.
Past Versus Present – 2014 vs 2015…What Did We Learn?
Market Rotations – Finding the Next Explosive Move in Stocks

Trading through Different Market Conditions – A fast and slow portfolio
Trading for a Living – Here’s How We Did It

 

2. Josh Brown aka The Reformed Broker was going to show up at the Harvard Club, instead of Yale. Can you believe that? I was almost tempted to have him commit such a grave atrocity.

3. Jeff Macke is being transported by steamboat around the horn of Africa and will be wearing Lulu lemon pants.

Also, I am having Ragin Cajun order halloween costumes for all attendees. Trust me when I say, they are very, very scary.

And, finally, I am unsure as to what room to lock down, because many of you ham and eggers wait until the last second to decide whether or not you will attend. So do this for me, will you?

Email me @[email protected] and tell me you have an interest in attending. This way I can properly plan for this fucking thing and can get back to leading a life of gentleman speculator in peace. Can you do that for me, you little fuckers?

Yeah, I look forward to seeing you too.

Because I have nothing better to do with my time, “The Fly” is going to randomly select one of you lucky fuckers, who like our Facebook page, and send you a box filled with “stuff.” I haven’t decided what I will send. But I will send something, nevertheless.

I will do this upon iBankCoin receiving 1,000 likes; because being liked is what I’m all about.

When we reach this minor milestone, I will go shopping for one of you ham and eggers. I might send you a fucking blender. Or, I might just send you a map that leads to a treasure chest filled with shit. Who knows? I am undecided.

If we can attain such a modest level of appreciation in a timely fashion, I will send more boxes filled with shit for every thousand likes.

Why am I doing this?

It’s important that I be permitted to spread my propaganda amongst the maximum number of “readers” possible.

You’re all punk-ass bitches. It’s impossible to have a decent market with people like you trading in it, always dumping out, ham and egging it, capital losses abound.

Stocks are now careening lower, reversing nearly 400 points from this morning’s open. How wonderful!

Every second that passes, I lose 5k. When growing up, this is exactly what I envisioned myself doing, getting beat the fuck down, watching the values of my equities fluctuate like temperature in the desert. This is 100% bullshit and all of you are to blame.

I’ve done my part, trying to keep spirits up, buying into the blood, being a man. But not you, the American Coward, sashaying in and out of stocks, taking “rips” and eating potato chips lathered with ranched dressing, stuffing onion rings into and around your big, fat fucking faces.

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. I shouldn’t have to put up with this sort of chicanery. “The Fly” is an upstanding citizen of the United States, located in the Northeast corridor of these great lands. I’ve built profitable businesses and have dedicated vast swaths of my time to entertain a reader class during times of duress, as well as triumph. I come to work in order to bank coin, and make fun of bears. This whole upside down nature to the markets is insidious, cancerous and wholly unwarranted, even though it’s completely understandable.

For the day, I shed a little more than 1%.

I added to my SHAK and TWTR positions, my first average down since I unceremoniously embarrassed myself by buying TWTR at $38.

All in all, the market wants higher. Please give it an excuse to do it.

NOTE: David Tepper will be making a CNBC appearance tomorrow morning at 8am.

I was so excited last night, watching Japan shoot higher by more than 1,300 fucking points. I felt their courage and wanted America to bask in it. Our futures were up more than 200, heading into trade. And now we’re up 10 points.

This is typical American bullshit, clowns running around dumping whipped cream pies in each other’s faces. It’s so ridiculous, the process by which we take to effect a rally. We all know it’s coming. However, before it truly can become a reality, first we need to circle jerk about a flaming barrel of garbage, tell our kids scary stories of the great depression, and then worry about every tick lower– for “The Crash is coming.”

Motherfuckers.

Cocksucker, motherfuckers, I command thee to stop acting cowardly and to take what’s rightfully yours: NASDAQS.

The thieves have stolen much from the National Treasury. This is your chance to arrest them, thrust them upon the rack, and have your horses rip their arms and legs from their torsos, as you disembowel them with your gnome hooked hammer.

The Exodus predictive engines have successfully gamed the timing of the oversold condition 5 out of the last 6 times, clowning all of you chart-chomping morons with the energy of 10,000 Skeletors.

Speaking of which, the locale of the iBankCoin Conference VIP cocktail party has been solidified, inside of the Yale Club Library room (note: no one will be murdered in the library during the party).

We fully expect to entertain a host of lads and lasses in a night of debauchery. I will, of course, be in full disguise, in order to prevent riff-raff from invading and violating my privacy.

Also, the good folks of iBankCoin have set up a Facebook page, albeit a decade late. I anticipate all of you to “like” it with great expediency.

I was up 2.4% today, fueled by ONCE.

Listen to me. Americans love to eat. From hammed burgers to hotted dogs, the taste of fat, on a largess scale, is exactly what this country needs to feel better again. The casual dining space is enjoying a renaissance, the likes this country hasn’t seen since the invention of the meated loaf.

Look no further than CMG, a Mexican cuisine delight, filled with very hungry white Americans in search of authentic flare from south of the border. Ask for some soured cream and “guac” and your burritos will explode with joy to the upside.

Make no mistake, this is an industry that has always faired well during the month of September. Have a look at the seasonal stats.

After a long summer of arduous cocaine parties, Americans just want to unwind and eat some frenched fries. Sonic, the hammed burger food chain, has gone up 19 times in September, out of 25. That hit rate exceeds 75%, lads!

With oil in the dumps and the stock market down, I am looking for a mean reversion here, especially in the casual dining space.

My top pick is SHAK, due to the founder, Danny Meyer, who literally wrote the book on how to run a successful eatery, owner of top NYC fine dining locales. Other names of opportunity include: WING (BOSS), CMG, SBUX, DPZ, PZZA, DIN and BWLD.

This is a fine way to begin the month of September, in earnest. Breadth is at a solid 85% and the Exodus time machine, predictive algorithms, is working with flawless potency.

I’d like to remind you that you were told, rather sternly, to avoid betting against “The Fly” on all occasions. This happens to be one of those times, if you will. May the sun roast your stomach with the extremities of 10,000 hells and bring forth oxen with the legs of man to kick you down elevator shafts, then trounce upon your ugly faces until you disappear.

I have lots of “top picks”, most of which will be going higher soon. If forced to select just one sector for the month of September, I’d choose casual dining. From the casual dining arena, there is but one company that I am interested in investing in, for the remainder of my natural born life. That company is SHAKE SHACK, ticker SHAK.

I have little else to say at the present.

Good day.