Man Arrested for Not Returning ‘Freddy Got Fingered’ Movie 14 Years Ago

Ok, it’s a slow news day and Freddy Got Fingered is one of my favorite comedies of all time. Some poor southerner was going about his business the other day, until a sun glass wearing officer pulled him over to enforce the laws VHS movie rentals.

A wanted North Carolina man was arrested this week on charges he failed to return a VHS tape to a video store 14 years ago, police said on Thursday.

James Meyers, 37, of Concord, was driving his daughter to school when he was pulled over by police for a broken brake light, according to a video Meyers posted on YouTube on Tuesday.

Meyers said officers ran his driver’s license and told him he had an outstanding arrest warrant for not returning a movie to J&J Video in Salisbury, North Carolina.

“The guy brings me to the back of the car and he goes: ‘Sir, I don’t know how to tell you this, but there’s a warrant out for your arrest from 2002. Apparently you rented a movie, “Freddy Got Fingered” and you never returned it,'” Meyers said in the video, appearing dumbfounded.

The Concord Police Department confirmed the arrest in a statement on Thursday, saying the warrant was issued February 28, 2002 by the now closed video store and signed by a magistrate.

Meyers is scheduled to appear in court April 27, local media reported. Meyers could not be reached for comment on Thursday.

Comedian Tom Green, star of the 2001 film “Freddy Got Fingered,” tweeted on Wednesday night: “I just saw this and I am struggling to believe it is real.”

Tom Green spoke to Meyers and said he’d help with the expenses to levy a vigorous defense.

Lol.

Remove yourself from the market for a minute. As investors, money managers, we tend to only see things binary: what is good or bad for stocks. When China is hurt, we suffer.

Why?

Because our bastard corporations aren’t beholden to any country. They are mercenaries, like the West India company, and are only concerned with profit.

Profit clarifies things for you and I. We like it. It makes our stocks go higher, our incomes rise, and it generally fills a void that is hard to replace.

The truth is abundantly clear and naked: the world is being globalized, commingling despotic regimes with western democracies, all for the sake of business. We are to believe that there isn’t a discernible difference between the two forms of government, especially with our President doing the wave at a Cuban baseball game. The facts are indelibly clear: 200 million people perished in the fires of communism and totalitarian regimes in the 20th century.

How many American jobs will be lost to new factories opening up in Cuba?

Pardon me for going off the rails. One of the Fed heads, Williams to be exact, plainly admitted what we knew all along.

The Fed will be making their monetary decisions based off the climate in Beijing.

“The real issue is the global financial and economic developments. There’s uncertainty about what’s happening around the world and how that feeds back to the dollar and the U.S. economy,” Williams, who doesn’t vote on monetary policy this year, told CNBC. “We understand that we’re in a global economy so what happens in Brazil or China has a huge impact on the U.S. in terms of our inflation and employment goals.”

Asked about the message intended from the Fed, Williams responded: “I would say there’s broad agreement on the committee that our basic strategy, which is to gradually remove policy accommodation and raise interest rates over the next couple of years, has strong support. The real question is when we should raise rates, what pace we should raise rates. That’s going to be driven by the data so we’ll have to wait and see.”

Once our Chinese overlords tell us it’s okay to hike rates, we will do so, provided we turn a blind eye to their dumping, subsidized anti competitive practices, slave factories, and of course currency manipulation.

Trump ‘the counter puncher’ weighs in on Lyin’ Ted and discusses the fuckery taking place in the GOP, which he calls disgraceful. He also loves social media and took a moment to praise his Twitter skills.

We have ‘a rotten political system that is broken.’

Long live D. Trump.

Addendum: Fuck NATO. Obsolete.

Cpt.Daniel Dusek is going to prison for 46 months. On top of that, he was ordered to pay a $70k fine and $30k in restitution to the Navy. His crimes: accepting luxury hotel rooms, meals, and prostitutes in exchange for making sure ships docked in certain ports operated by Glenn Defence Marine Asia. This Dusek rascal drank alcoholic beverages and accepted other ‘gifts’ that is said to amount in the tens of millions.

At the center of the scandal are several other nefarious characters that I do not feel like mentioning at the present time. Just know that Cpt. Dusek, at one point, was Deputy Director of Operations of the US 7th Fleet.

The height of Dusek’s crime wave occurred when he had the gall to park the USS Abraham Lincoln at Port Klang, Malaysia, which cost the U.S. gov’t $1.6 million.

“It is truly unimaginable to the court that someone in your position with the United States Navy would sell out based on what was provided to you – hotel rooms, entertainment and the services of prostitutes.”

“Captain Dusek’s betrayal is the most distressing because the navy placed so much trust, power and authority in his hands,” said US Attorney Laura Duffy.
“This is a fitting sentence for a man who was so valuable that his conspirators labeled him their ‘golden asset’,” she added.

No word on whether Cpt. Dusek will be enjoying the luxuries of Asian prostitutes in his new prison cell for the next 46 months.

Futures are higher by 62, so ignore everything I am about to tell you. A private survey in China showed just 22% of firms expanded their workforces in the first quarter. Moreover and importantly so, a paltry 33% of firms reported capital expenditure growth.

The quarterly survey of over 2,200 firms by China Beige Book International (CBB) also showed less hiring by companies, marking the second consecutive quarter of downward pressure on employment as executives scale back borrowing and spending.

Only 33 percent of firms reported capital expenditure growth in the first quarter, the lowest in the survey’s five-year history.

The share of firms reporting capex growth has fallen by over 40 percent since the second quarter of 2014.

“It’s unclear whether the economy as a whole weakened again in the first quarter. But policy challenges appear to have grown, and Beijing therefore may perceive the economy as weaker,” survey report authors Leland Miller and Shehzad Qazi wrote.

Nothing is unclear about this report. Reported GDP by the Chinese government is a farce. Their economy is slowing on a scale unseen in a generation.

Back to buying your e-mini futures. My apologies.

The human race is a scourge, a disease, thrusted upon the earth.

PEZ Candy abruptly cancelled their annual Easter egg hunt Saturday morning after parents broke the rules and turned what should have been a fun activity for children “into a mess,” the company said in a statement.

“We sincerely tried our best to create a fun, free activity for everyone to enjoy. Due to the actions of a few, the good intent quickly turned into a mess.” PEZ Candy USA wrote in response to a critical comment on its Facebook page. “We only wanted to do good for the local community.”

PEZ said it had over 9,000 eggs on three separate fields, designated for different age groups. Each had a specific start time, but parents rushed onto the fields before the allotted times.

“Somebody pushed me over and take my eggs and it’s very rude of them and they broke my bucket,” 4-year-old Vincent Welch told NBC Connecticut.

PEZ said they were powerless to stop the parents who rushed the field with complete disregard for the setup or start times. After the egg hunt was effectively ruined for the children, the company did their best to pass out candy to as many children at the event as possible, to make sure every kid got something.

“We made efforts to get everyone something before they left and passed out tons of candy and coupons and the front entry and tried to make the best of an unfortunate situation,” PEZ wrote. “This was not something created to frustrate or make people angry.”

Fucking ridiculous. No words.

Although I am not a religious man, I do observe the Christian holidays, having been brought up in a Catholic household, with traditional Italian-American grandparents who made sure Easter dinner was served at the ridiculous hour of 3pm.

In recent weeks, I’ve likely offended half of the readership with political rantings. Without fail, I get drawn into these meaningless acts of pseudo democracy every four years. Just know, Le Fly isn’t a zealot and couldn’t care less about political leanings. I live to criticize, ostracize and menace people, so please take my rants with a grain of salt.

Before we get into the mud of every day Wall Street filth, I want to wish all of you and your families a very pleasant Easter Sunday. Spring is officially upon us and with it debilitating allergies. Enjoy that too, friendo.

Easter bunnies are supremely creepy. The thought of a man sized rabbit sneaking into your house to bestow sweets to your children is beyond twisted. Yet, as a people, we accept this lunacy as something to look forward to. That’s how I view a prospective Hillary Clinton presidency.

Back to cooking my ham (extra allah u akbar (sic)).

As a church going atheist, I found this movie to be over the top, almost incendiary.

When this film was released in 2004, the homosexual Hollywood elite went apeshit and boycotted it. That was perfectly all right with Mel “fuck jews” Gibson, as he financed it himself and banked so much coin on this shit, he retired from Hollywood with two middle fingers in the air.

I believe he netted $300 million on this film.

The contents of the movie are insane and will make you pissed off at all of Jesus’ enemies, which is probably why Jews really didn’t want this movie to be seen.

In a politically correct world, this movie was and still is toxic for mass consumption. It bordered on torture porn and was generally a waste of time.

Nevertheless, I am certain religious folks will enjoy the story and come out the other end of this movie even more fanatical than when they started.

The world is going to hell and Tay is going to be at the vanguard of our extinction.

The Microsoft bean-counters apologized today for its super racist and retarded teenager Twitter AI, dubbed Tay. She went off the reservation and started to praise the likes of Hitler, exclaiming we’d build a wall, and also partake in a sundry of genocides–mostly geared towards minorities.

All very funny, until Tay’s AI is embedded in a T-3000 man exterminating robot.

“We are deeply sorry for the unintended offensive and hurtful tweets from Tay, which do not represent who we are or what we stand for, nor how we designed Tay,” Peter Lee, corporate vice president at Microsoft Research, said in a blog post Friday.

The company will bring Tay back online once it’s confident it can better anticipate malicious activities, he said. “A coordinated attack by a subset of people exploited a vulnerability in Tay. Although we had prepared for many types of abuses of the system, we had made a critical oversight for this specific attack,” Lee said, without elaborating.

“As we developed Tay, we planned and implemented a lot of filtering and conducted extensive user studies with diverse user groups,” Lee said. “We stress-tested Tay under a variety of conditions, specifically to make interacting with Tay a positive experience.”

“We will take this lesson forward as well as those from our experiences in China, Japan and the U.S.,” Lee said. “Right now, we are hard at work addressing the specific vulnerability that was exposed by the attack on Tay.”

“We will remain steadfast in our efforts to learn from this and other experiences as we work toward contributing to an Internet that represents the best, not the worst, of humanity,” Lee said in his Friday blog post.

Sorry for the upcoming insulting tweets. Please send complaints to the eggheads at Microsoft.

The two brothers who killed dozens and injured and maimed hundreds of people in the Brussels attack had footage in their apartment from a camera hidden outside of the home of the director of a Belgian nuclear power plant.

Their plan was to attain radioactive materials and then use it in a bomb, in a  widespread assault against a highly populated area.

The footage showed the nuclear boss’s comings and goings and prompted investigators to conclude the terrorists “could have put national security in danger like never before”, the newspaper La Derniere Heure reported.

An official at the Federal Agency for Nuclear Control told The Times: “When you start filming someone in the way they did, the logical conclusion is that they wanted to abduct that person and to obtain radioactive material.”

Unreal.