Fly Buys: $RUHN, $REPH

I only buy stocks with the letter R now.

First Trump wanted this retard on the Fed board.

Now he wants Mr. 999 Godfather Pizza guy.

Fed haters will soon enjoy a frisson of excitement over these ridiculous appointees, since it undermines the very institution Trump is attempting to destroy. There isn’t any logical explanation for a pizza businessman to be placed on the Fed, other than to lob in some fucking hand grenades and show those fuckers who’s boss.

Now some of you motherfuckers seem to think Le Fly is changeable and will soon buy TVIX or TZA — accompanied by a nice little funny picture and be on my merry way towards losses. Fuck you — because I won’t do that and have instead resigned myself to losses — seeing it through — the whole kit and caboodle. Sure, I’ll adhere to stops and make sure things don’t get out of hand — but I’m tired of the whipsaw and I grow bored of being hoodwinked into believing a great fuckery is upon us, when in fact the only fuckery is the stuff that circulates inside of my head — courtesy of two decades of enduring one market calamity after the next.

Yet, after all that — here we are within a corn hole toss of new highs.

SAAS stocks are off by more than 2.5% now — with outsized losses in ZS, AYX, TWLO, and OKTA. Normally, not a big deal; however, the broader indices are masking this pain and people might easily get lured into trades amidst hair razing declines.

My Bubble Basket is down 1.2% and bonds are strong.

It appears, and pardon me for saying this — we might trade lower today. I know — it hurts and it’s never fun — but it’s gonna happen.

Typically I’d dive headlong into a sundry of inverse ETFs and end up donating that money to the underprivileged children of Direxion — but today I’m opting against that strategem in favor of sandwiches. Maybe I’ll raise some more cash too. But what I won’t do — is buy TVIX or TZA.

Three relevant items this morning.

Tesla bears are feeling their oats this morning — thanks to a slowdown in business. Shares are now spiraling lower — off by 10.5%. I haven’t seen a stock this hated since Lehman.

Tesla says it delivered 50,900 Model 3 cars in the first quarter, below the 52,450 analysts expected in a consensus estimate from FactSet.

Overall deliveries also fell short.

“Volume expectations for the company’s products in 2019 are too high with consumer demand likely lower as subsidies phase out in the US,” Goldman Sachs analyst David Tamberrino says.

“Tesla’s 1Q19 vehicle production & deliveries report was substantially worse than expected,” J.P. Morgan analyst Ryan Brinkman says.

The good folks at Lehman are raising the minimum wage to $13 per hour. Mind you, large corporations do not raise wages out of the kindness of their black hearts. We’re at full employment as a nation and they need to entice new plebs to grease the wheels of their evil machines.

Target said Thursday it is increasing its minimum hourly wage by a dollar to $13 in June for all current and new employees as part of its goal to hit $15 an hour by the end of 2020

Applications for unemployment benefits sunk to a 49 year low.

The number of Americans filing applications for unemployment benefits dropped to a more than 49-year low last week.

The data pointed to sustained labor market strength despite slowing economic growth.

Initial claims for state unemployment benefits dropped to 202,000 for the week ended March 30, the lowest level since early December 1969, the Labor Department said.

All of this points to one thing: wage growth. With wage growth, perhaps we can finally get a bump in inflation — something the dovish Fed is probably shitting their pantaloons over.

I am going to show you a chart that is the truth. You might believe it to be the opposite of the truth — because it’s unconventional — but I’ll explain it in a moment.

Back in December — now with the benefit of hindsight, Xmas marked the bottom. Had you bought there and held — you made a fortune — but you were also a moron for doing so. It was a shot in the dark, a lucky gamble that paid off — no different from a spin on the one arm bandit. The correct, or higher probability trade was on January 4th, when stocks broke the downward patterns and oil spiraled higher. The black candles ceased to scare investors away and dips were bought with alacrity and vigor.

The same logic applies to today. If you sold, or bought TVIX or TZA, you’re a moron — and that’s fine if your family has a rich and long history of producing morons. You can’t help yourself — no different from a reprobate unable to appreciate the finer things in life — such as pear tarts with a dash of blood orange mascarpone stipple, mind you, on top.

This is where you relax and wait, wait for coked out hedge funders to make a final push towards alpha before heading out to St. Bart’s to waste their summers away. There is not a chance, not even a little bit, for a reversal to the downside before Easter.

Who am I to fight against market forces? Small caps are still 9% off their highs and the market is running tired today — looking weak and flaccid and also weak.

I’ve got about 20% cash and I do not care to sell anything more than this — mainly because I have an emotional attachment to the idea that stocks will and can push forward to new record highs.

I’m probably making a mountain out from a mole hill. Nevertheless, I sold AYX (+6.3%), RPD (+5.3%) and JPM (+3.9%) for fast paced gains, both earned and enjoyed over a one week’s holding period. I will now sit back and wait.

Peace be with you.

What does the S&P 500's "golden cross" say about the future of the equity market? https://t.co/ZnfvsfayVP pic.twitter.com/cWLo2ofret

— Bloomberg TV (@BloombergTV) April 2, 2019

The famous “Golden Cross” happened and now stocks are really gonna start going up — because we were all sitting around waiting for this thing to happen. Prepare to drive in a new lambo.

I bought HMI down here — anticipating a nice rally. The stock is thin — so be careful about diving in head first.

Shut up and quit shitting your pants. Stocks are going higher.

Where are they going?

Towards new record highs. They will achieve this well before my predicted Easter egg hunt extravaganza. Clearly, everything is back to normal. Oil is running, tech is great. Hell, even Bitcoins are soaring. We are living in a fantasy land of cotton candy and rainbow colored skittles.

Nothing can stop us now.

Every single one of my stocks in my trading account is up. I am particularly fond of the Chinese names. My favorite, as of this moment — FHL.

Ok, I’ve had a busy day and need to get back into Exodus now in order to make fun of everyone and make some trades. Be back soon — fuckers.

I remember the hubris in the shitcoin community when both the CBOE and CME announced they’d begin trading futures for the cryptocurrency dubbed Bitcoin in 2017. It was the zenith of the mania. Men were throwing away their jobs, cars, homes, and their wives — betting it all on rando ICOs — because ‘it was the way of the future, the way of the future.’

Since that time, those people were wrecked and ransacked, big jowled florid faced bankers took industrial sized vacuums and sucked more than $600 billion in market cap from the ICO world. It has been something to watch and now we all make fun of the shitcoiners — relegating them to the moron circle — subjugating them to a time and a place that will forever be known as a period of unmatched insanity and group think — succumbing to behavioral sink — cannibalizing one another until white bones were bared and nothing at all was left.

Tonight the CBOE closed their trade — announcing a cessation of futures contracts to be traded passed the month of June, 2019.

It’s business as usual for CME Group’s bitcoin futures market, despite a retrenchment by rival derivatives exchange operator Cboe Global Markets.

Contacted by CoinDesk Friday, a spokesperson for CME said the exchange has “no changes to announce re our bitcoin futures contract” and declined to comment on Cboe’s pullback.

The affirmation is notable in light of the news Thursday that Cboe will not add a bitcoin futures contract for trading in March.

This means that after the last currently traded futures expire in June, this market will essentially come to a halt at Cboe Futures Exchange (CFE), at least until new futures get listed.

“CFE is assessing its approach with respect to how it plans to continue to offer digital asset derivatives for trading. While it considers its next steps, CFE does not currently intend to list additional XBT futures contracts for trading,” the company said in its notice to investors.

A spokesperson for Cboe declined to comment beyond Thursday’s product update.

The difference in outcomes isn’t all that surprising since CME’s volumes have been approximately more than double Cboe’s.

As of March 14, for example, the daily trading volume of CME’s bitcoin futures was reported at 4,666 contracts, compared to 2,089 contracts at Cboe.

Graphing the chart, one could say it was all a coincidence. But judging by the stiff reaction higher to the shares and overall mood in the crypto space — it appears the speculative fervor is back — if only for a short while.