Still in the Tall Grass

Eagerly waiting in the tall grass, clamoring for the taste of meat, I find myself lazily lounging, spectating, awaiting a great event. As people pass by, I scowl and snarl, calling them names, whilst monitoring the winds for change.

Being a reformed greed-monster, purveyor of chinese burritos, gambler of the first order, captain of crack (spreads), I spectate the ham and eggers mixing it up. Knowing the feeling of unchecked rapacity, I wait for them to err, so that I can go in for the kill, biting their heads off with savage aggression.

http://youtu.be/nAE0UH1v02k

I made 4.4% on 8% of my money today, also known as 0.35%–nothing.

The response to your flagrant barbarism will be an unrestrained blitzkrieg on your greedy asses. You fuckers will have seizures– freeze up your central nervous system– from the surprise– bright lights blinking in your face.

Today was day one of the attack. Tomorrow the blood will flow, freely, alerting all of the small headed fund managers to consider raising cash. By the time the lame-duck over at John Hancock figures out what is taking place and attempts to correct his position, your funeral suit will be at the dry cleaners, while “The Fly” plots and schemes, plots and schemes (in that order) to buy your margin call liquidations.

You should all spend a lot of money to procure provisions and fine wine to celebrate the gift that Bernanke has bestowed upon you. This respite that you are submersed in will not last forever. I can promise you that AAPL will not go up $15 per day, everyday, until the end of your time here on earth.

No, what is in store for you is far worse than a mere correction. Pah, don’t chalk up your misfortunes to happenstance, small man, things occur methodically and you’ve made your bed. Very soon, you will have to sleep in it.

The insidious nature that is Greece will reverberate– and the crisis that tightly clenched your arteries in late 2011 will reemerge– this time for finality. Do not think for a moment that just because the EU said they’d lend Greece all of this money in exchange for submission that it’s a done deal.

Haven’t you seen the movie 300?

With the Greek economy spiraling lower, -7% on its GDP, it’s only a matter of time before the people take pitchforks to the heads of their leaders. When that happens, you will regret the day you were born, gayly pressed inside of a panini machine, long TNA because it reminded you of a perverted acronym.

SHAME ON YOUR HOUSE you vile creature of a man, beast of all beasts, barbarian of rocks and dirt.

Nevertheless, as an innocent spectator of the market, having 5% long, 3% short and 92% cash, I wish you well in the near term. My only request is that you cease and desist from agitating me with your bold ignorance. I will rack your brains with stovepipe for less!

Top Pick: VXX

Shares of IBM, CMG, V, MA, AAPL, and a number of others, have done extraordinarily well over the past few years. Even so, picking out a few outperformers doesn’t mean we are in a “bull market” You fuckers are so desperate for a bull market, you’ve become delusional to the point of seeing mirages of grandeur; but, unfortunately, it’s just a big pile of shit. Take a look at the chart of the SPY above. Pray tell me, have we gone anywhere since 2000? That’s 12 fucking years, Jack. A bull market doesn’t cut dicks off every few years. And I am not talking about your garden variety 10% correction either. I am talking dick guillotines, like we saw a number of times since 2000, most notably in 2008.

When you dive lower by 55% in a year, I think it’s fair to declare the fucking bull market dead, no?

Right now we are in a strong trending market. Moreover, this may be the beginning of a long sustainable bull run, one that enriches the baby boomers and bails America out of its debt crisis– but I doubt it. Why am I so cynical? For one, the fundamentals are far different today than back in 1992, when the last bull market started–lasting until 2000. Nevertheless, it is my job to give the market the benefit of the doubt, so I will do that.

If your first investment was made in 2009, then you are enjoying a bull market. Happy? For everyone else, we’re simply getting back lost ground, trying to cherry pick winners and avoid the next collapse, which is surely right around the corner.

How do I know that?

Because that’s what we fucking do. Boom and bust, the vicious cycle that remains constant.

Today’s end of day extravaganza, likely purported by nabobs dressed in turbans, crushed the hopes and prayers of millions of bears worldwide. Prior to the run, they were feeling all mighty, some even a bit pretentious or haughty. Plainly, I was profiting from the decline via VXX and TZA; but 92% of my assets are still in cash, so it was something of an after-thought, frankly. But the incessant pressing of the bears’ heads inside the panini press is almost too painful to watch. Day in and day out, they come to play, only to be beaned in the face and cock by 105mph, Nolan Ryan style, fastballs.

When irrational things occur in stocks and markets, frustrated participants tend to chalk it up to “idiocy”, declaring the markets to be devoid of reason. For a while, I fell into the trap of casting aspersions, lamenting over losing positions and hating the people who bet against me. But as time went on and I stopped dragging my knuckles on the ground, I came to realize markets are both genius and stupid. They are filled with the biggest idiots the world has ever known, as well as the sharpest minds. The markets cannot be stupid, ever, since it is the collective brain-trust of the entire world.

Granted, from time to time, a situation like ENER presents itself, where idiot bulls bid soon to be bankrupt companies up to the exosphere, only to, ironically, bankrupt themselves in the process. But for the most part, markets ebb and flow, moderating through emotions and news flow, eventually arriving to the right price. You just see it as “dumb” because your time frames are all fucked up. You want stocks to drop right now because of your shorts or your inverse ETF’s. But the market doesn’t give a shit about your financial well being and its time frame to produce an accurate price is non-descript.

XYZ may be worth 0; but it can take 10 years for the market to figure it out. That doesn’t make it “dumb”, only methodical.

With regards to this tape, I find myself out of my comfort zone and would rather stay in cash than make egregious errors. Look at FOSL. I had fuckloads of that stock in the $70’s and $80’s. I even declared it to be a prime candidate for the $100 roll a few days ago. Now it’s $120. Fuck me running sideways with an alligator.

Never mind dry bulk shipping rates in the gutter. Dry bulk shippers are off to the races, just like the homebuilders, despite fundamentals. After all, the market is a discounting mechanism. Therefore, it is discounting all of the bad news and putting it in the glove compartment, to be forgotten forever–until a cop searches said car of course.

Normally, I wish good fortune upon everyone. I have no desire to strip you of your coin, unless you have it coming to you. I read your comments and feel the vast majority of people here do not deserve to have money. You should and shall be stripped of it!

Good heavens, FOSL was down 5, now it’s doing the Michael Johnson. I guess I was right about that fucker too when I was buying in the high $70’s. The same people who talked shit then, talked shit about LULU, DECK, GSVC, WNR and now the SPY. Generally speaking, and I mean this with the utmost sincerity, you have no fucking idea what you are talking about. It’s hilarious, actually. My colleagues throw mashed potatoes at the screen, rolling on the floor, laughing at your folly. Some of you are the worst investors in America.

You do realize I speak with thousands of investors, right? See, unlike the other piker finance bloggers out there, or talking heads on the teevee, I run a multimillion dollar money management business and talk to some of the wealthiest people in the country. I get a feel for the economy and test the winds through candid discussions. I’ve encountered some truly talented people in my career and some pretty awful ones. By far, some of you are the worst investors I’ve ever had the dishonor of meeting are people from the internet. So many of you are disheveled, unemployed, small fish, trying to skirt responsibilities through trading. Doubly painful, it’s the very people who think they are so good, calling me (chuckle) a contrary indicator, who live on the bottom of the barrel.

This is your wake up call, pal. Get to work.

NOTE: Today’s VXX buy represented 3% of assets.

I bought VXX.

For the record, “The Fly” doesn’t golf. As far as I am concerned, if you are a family man, like myself, one that is enterprising, building business through industry, you have no fucking business on a golf course. You are either a degenerate or a lazy man, should you find yourself teeing off with your jerkoff friends. Grow up already.

The way I see it, golf is an avocation for the retired, the gold Rolex crowd, men who can look at their families and their bank accounts and say: “I’ve done a good job; now everyone fuck off while I go play with my balls.”

It’s valentines day, which means many of you spent a good penny on gifts for your loved ones. It’s a wise investment, if I might say so myself. Anything that improves relations also increases quality of life. The price tag for quality of life is infinite; therefore, feel free to splurge every so often. It’s the miser, mind you, who is miserable more often than not. It’s the miser, mind you, who will die a rich and ignorant man.

Well, you know my market position: boring, in cash, with a dash of TZA–only for my personal. I must admit, the market is very impressive and I am proud of the traders inside of The PPT and 12631 for making a killing. There are so many well informed traders/investors inside of those rooms, it is absolutely staggering. Had I known about such a venue, when I was starting out 15 years ago, I would have saved myself from agonizing losses through undisciplined defeats by watching others do it right.

Speaking of which, I am determined, head firmly made from granite, to wait for my dip. I am up 18% for the year and possess the patience of an elephant.

Three jerkoffs in a punch buggy are driving down a street, laughing gayly whilst listening to Chris Brown songs, until a boulder shaped like an anvil drops from a cliff 500 feet above, crushing the car and all of its occupants. An ambulance arrives and declares all thee travelers dead on the scene. Shortly thereafter, the coroner comes and ushers the bodies away for proper burial. The fire department sends three trucks, mainly to block traffic, and to ring alarms and flash their fucking lights. The local newspaper hack is there too, taking pictures and recording the grim scene for all of his readers. It is a big deal, as it makes the local news reports, even a national newspaper.

The next day people are careful when driving, looking up at the cliff above for errant boulders that may attempt to murder them while driving. The newspaper people laud and praise how cordial everyone seems to be behaving, post tragedy. Everyone feels grateful for being alive and heeds caution while passing by the spot where those three jerkoffs were crushed into pancakes.

One month later, no one remembers the tragedy or the boulders above. They speed with reckless abandon because their engines were built to break the law. One young zealot has a license plate that says “FCKBOULDRS.” He zips by slow moving station wagons– doing 95mph while sticking his middle finger out of his window. People are jealous of this young man and trade in their station wagons for fast cars. Soon enough, everyone is driving race cars, drinking beers, while sticking their middle fingers at the memorial where the three jerkoffs were killed.

As they do this, ever so quietly, murderous boulders are ajar 500 feet above.

I’m very happy for all of you, greedily making money in an already overbought tape. There is something singularly wonderful about gluttony, especially when done with brazen abandon. You fuckers have chocolate ganache all over your faces, swimming in shark infested waters, with chum attached to your dicks.

I spent the day looking for homes, preferably adjacent to golf courses. Lucky for me, Mrs. Fly has already taken the liberties to plot out early construction on a home I haven’t even purchased yet, with $100k in flooring renovations schemed between her and an egregious supplier.

I am a very fortunate man, indeud.

My only position, CPST, bled out a bit today, as expected. Let the weak hands capitulate and sell. I will accumulate more when the selling subsides. Look at GMXR. Just two weeks ago that stock was headed to $00.00; now it’s going to the moon.

GMCR pressed higher today, again responding nicely to The PPT‘s OVERSOLD signal, registered on Friday. There are so many stocks tempting me to buy them; but I resist, like a reformed crack addict inside of a crack house, reading a bible and scowling at the others sucking dicks made from glass.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5Wzk-Xy0J4&feature=g-vrec&context=G28cdaa7RVAAAAAAAAAQ