iBankCoin

GET BLACKENED FOR FRIDAY

I never quite understood why the NYSE closed at 1pm the day after Thanksgiving. Granted, I just rolled out of bed a short while ago, as I had too much red wine last night and it makes me sleepy. Nevertheless, I would have preferred to roll out of bed and into a gambling parlour. Instead, I have to settle for being +11bps for the session, long a pastiche of conservative, right wing even, stocks. There is a distinct divergence between the NASDAQ and the Dow in recent months, as the Dow flirts with being down barely 5% and the NASDAQ has three bullet holes in its head.

Yesterday we had a lot of fun at House Fly playing some personal trivia/challenge game. The kids are all grown up now and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I miss them younger; but they’re all turning out to be fine individuals and I am proud of them (even ANTIFA FLY).

Today is one of America’s greatest holidays: Black Friday. No it’s not a day where we celebrate black people. We do that on a regular basis Sir. How dare you! Today we roll out and roll towards shopping malls and wait in queue to rack ourselves with credit card debt in order to buy things for rotten family members for the ritualistic pagan Holiday called Xmas. On Xmas we celebrate the demon Satan Claws — who haunts our children by making them force parents to RACK THEMSELVES with credit card debt at 39.99% APR so that some large corporations controlled by cabal can buy $100m paintings at auction.

On Xmas, we sing songs and pretend to be jolly; but on the inside we cry, especially the men, because of all the waste and social pressure to conform with the Satan Claws, who rides on a sled with demon reindeer and trounces about your rooftops whilst you’re asleep in order to drink your milk and eat your cookies.

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I’m not just saying that out of reflex or to curry your favor. I don’t give a shit about pleasing any of you. After all these years interacting with you, I view many of you as extended family in an odd sort of way and have genuine concern for your happiness and well being.

Now get out there you cocksuckers (extra GRND) and go RACK UP some debt to please junior.

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December Should Be a Fine Month

Even though Europe has lost its autonomy and its economy is being rugged by US foreign policy and all thinly veiled Neo-liberal western “democracies” are fast approaching authoritarian despots controlled by a satanic cult of groomers hell bent on causing pain and suffering for the purposes of humiliation rituals, we should trade up in December.

According to the seasonality tools of Stocklabs, December is a fine month, with exception to 2002 which is what 2022 feels like to me.

But I’m not here, taking time away from making my AWARD WINNING stuffing, to discuss stocks or politics. Every so often it’s important to take a step back and be appreciative of the things that make you happy and to acknowledge the people around you who make your lives better. I find great pleasure coming here every daily, blogging like the wind, and shit posting all over the internets. I understand the futility of posting things in a vacuum, but I like to do it nonetheless.

Thank you for coming here and reading my missives and following my “breaking” news items on Twitter and if you’re a member of Stocklabs — thank you for helping me fund the Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) project which is designed for offensive purposes only.

If new to the site, have a look at a Gentleman’s Guide to Thanksgiving Decorum, which was written by me during a much friendlier time when hope and change was the US policy but instead we got rot and decay and malovolent devils ruining the equanimity of the world. There I go again.

Ok, farewell for now. I have several bottles of wine with my name written on them and lots of stuffing to manufacture. Eat well and I’ll see you tomorrow and perhaps later on Twitter.

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Enjoy the Feast

I had a full day with the kids and have just returned from an early dinner. Throughout this evening I’ll be prepping for tomorrow’s festival, a day which I will cherish due to the finality of it all. This will be the last Thanksgiving during peace-time and we should all give thanks to the Gods for providing us with ample sustenance and drink.

Markets rallied up as is customary during the Thanksgiving week and now we look forward to Cyber Monday sales figures missing the mark.

Here is the simple fact I cannot shake.

I believe in the efficient market theory, on a sliding scale. The market has been pricing in a special sort of doom lately and the numbers do not add up or warrant this carnage. Sure inflation is high and the Fed is hiking like a motherfucker and war in the Ukraine is terrible; but corporate numbers are not in disaster territory and I get a sense we have yet to see capitulation.

My prediction is as follows:

BROKEN FUCKING ELEVATOR to the downside trading action barreling into the New Year’s.

Enjoy the feast lads and batten down the hatches. We are merely in the 4th inning of the current bear market.

I traded +2% for the week.

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THE FINAL SALVO IS NOW

I had a very large position in TZA but sold it for a 0.87% gain. These small gains are designed to scalp and not intended to provide me with pan coverage. I am now 25% long PIECE OF SHIT STOCKS like AFRM, CHPT, and UPST and hold the balance in cash, for now.

My intent is to play this final day before Thanksgiving and enjoy it, savor it even, for tomorrow we dine and drink heavily into what will be a CATASTROPHE on Friday. I have zero confidence in PAX AMERICANA, as we are ruled by psychopaths.

I understand why some of you older folks push back against this train of thought — because you grew up in an era when America was great and you cling to those memories as if they existed in today’s reality. It’s over lads and they hate you so much…they’d rather you die.

But before that happens, they’re fucking stock market is going to crash and burn.

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IT WILL SOON BE OVER AGAIN

Some housekeeping items first.

Germany is big mad about not being able to spread LGBT propaganda in Qatar and have taken to covering their mouths before one of their sports ball games.

Balenciaga apologized for doing an ad PROMOTING child porn.

Apparently, they have a long rich history of such things.

And the entirety of Ukraine is almost completely without energy as the weather freezes over. Moreover, the Sec of Defense for Ukraine states a demand of Kiev is for total unconditional “denuclearization” of Russia after the war, as part of the terms for surrender. In other news, the EU has declared Russia a terrorist state and the Zelensky regime have raided Russian Orthodox churches around Ukraine and have put forth a bill to BAN the religion in the country.

All of this, and so much more, is going to lead to armed conflict between the United Steaks and Russia. At this point, it’s a foregone conclusion.

Ergo, and this goes without saying, enjoy your meal and eat heartily for it might be your last.

In about two days time is BLACKENED FRIDAY, a day which will highlight the great many short falls of the US consumer, and if it doesn’t shall bring about more Fed chatter about more rate hikes. It truly is a damned if you do damned if you don’t scenario.

I entered today LEVERAGED LONG and have been somewhat stymied by the largess decline in oil and have some hedges on now — because it will soon, once again, be over.

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LEVERAGED LONG INTO FAT FUCK DAY *

I made +181bps in trading, as I pressed the envelope and went all in long at 115% of equity. My other accounts were up even more, as I remain at or near 52 week highs — unaffected by the great bear market that has ripped so many of you to shreds.

It’s a funny thing I left the world of professional money management because it felt parasitic to me, to now just offer the same advice for a 99.9% discount. It’s even funnier to deliver returns in the public view that would get my dick sucked in my former world and receive nothing but yawns online — since most people just discard anything they read as promotional bullshit by persons selling wares.

Into the final day of trading before FAT FUCK THURSDAY, I am incredibly bullish and have positioned myself to hammer in the faces of bears with the rage of 10,000 Fly’s angry at the NY Met’s 2008 collapse.

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RISK TO BE LADLED ON IN LARGE QUANTITIES INTO THE CLOSE

Almost immediately after posting that I had gone to cash, I stepped in and bought some upside ETFs. I sold them just now and replaced them with some stocks, +112bps for the session. My YOLO is still ALL IN ERX +6% and my Quant is +2.3%. It’s fair to say the Turkey Gods descend upon you now.

All picks and ideas and chat are localed inside the confined of Stocklabs.

With the Dow +300 and Nasdaq +90, I believe this is the perfect spot to short squeeze bears into an assured famine for Thanksgiving. Listen to me, this is where you LEAN IN and go for the jugular vein. Just stick your hand in there and rip it out.

My picks are going to be based upon the technical rankings of Stocklabs, in conjunction with % of shares sold short.

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SOLD THE OPEN

Maybe it keeps going but I took my gains and ran, +83bps. My YOLO is still 100% long ERX and my quant is still 100% in invested long a pastiche of strong names. But, my trading is now 100% cash.

I’ll revisit later on this afternoon.

I do like the action in retail, especially BBY, URBN and M.

More later

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I DID IT: ALL IN LEVERAGED LONG

The world is falling apart and the poor souls playing in the World Cup aren’t permitted to wear their gay armbands. Both Turkey and Serbia are on the move, militarily, and war is all but a foregone conclusion between Russia and the Unites Steaks.

Recession is here and now and we are seeing levels of distress not seen since 2008.

Personal savings and debt are inversely correlated on steroids, which reminds me that we had it all in 2021 and because of it — we were shattered to pieces and much much more.

The EU, at the behest of the US, have schemes to initiate an oil price cap for Russian oil — which is on par with not liking the price of bread at the store and refusing to visit said store for bread. The end result will be Europe without oil and other Russian customers with their oil.

We are at the very onset of the ending salvo of the fourth turning. By next year today, things will be monstrously worse for society and we can only hope this pain and suffering will bring about actual death and carnage to all of those who afflicted us with this sorrow.

THAT BEING SAID, I am directionally long and leveraged long into National Festival. I did not get involved with shit stocks like COIN or AFRM, but instead own risk averse names with some ERX, TSLA, and GOOGL to boost. My bed has been made and tonight I will fantasize of stuffing and thickly ladled gravy on top of turkey legs and dream about the good old days and pine for them to return — when homosexual armbands could fancied about without hazard and trannies could run about freely cutting their dicks off in the green pastures and yellow sunshine — cascading into the blue ocean of freedom and liberty.

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TIME TO BET ON THE TURKEY GODS?

It’s an interesting question, as risk is OFF today. Do we buy the dip and hope and pray to the Turkey Gods for a spot of gravy tomorrow? Or, conversely, do we believe Thanksgiving will be canceled and instead of ebullience we get the black flag into Black Friday and feel dreadful about it all weekend?

I am professionally positioned at 112% leveraged long, but mostly in risk averse stocks. These are the names running hot today. There is a temptation to discard them in favor of crap. My only basis for doing so it some sort of hare brained risk on mood into Thanksgiving. I have 100 reasons not to do this, specifically the fact that retail sales are likely to disappoint and disappear.

I’ll make a decision within the hour.

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