THE BET PAID OFF; THE FLY IS VICTORIOUS

It wasn’t hard to do, for me. I simply envisioned where I wanted the stock to be and it would be so. Today I sold out of my oversized $OSTK position — not because I hated the stock — but because profits must be harvested. In this market, you are only as good as your last trade and if you’re not trading — you are not training.

The results so far.

OSTK +14.7% x2
EXK +5%
DRIP +2.7%

Markets are blasting off again, albeit on weak breadth. Nevertheless, this is precisely the sort of tape I wanted — the day after squeeze — the long stare into the souls of your enemies making them quake with fear.

Both my Quant and trading are up more than 220bps today. So far, a good day — but anything can happen.

Watch crude for leadership to the downside. Cryptos are back in play, and SPACs, well, are what everyone wants these days.

This is so fucking stupid. I can’t even lie convincingly enough to talk myself into finding reasons to love stocks here. I fucking hate stocks here and want them lower, by about 90%. Sure, it was fun on the way up, but elevators are fun too, especially when the cables snap and the car freefalls to a splat.

THERE IS NO JUSTIFICATION FOR ZM TRADING AT 85X SALES.

I am whining now and even thought I hate stocks, I am a servant to the trends. Everything I am buying is rich with ABSURDITY and although I lost 0.8% trading on my own accord in a market that wielded a 700 move unto unsuspecting morons, I managed to make money nonetheless. This is a sad tale for you, but one often told in these halls and shall repeat until the end of time. The Fly wins again, even while losing. His quantitative fund soared 3.7%, which houses half his money.

The band plays on, spearheaded by the clowns caked in cosmetics — a fanciful affair of liars and thieves. It will soon end and you will be relieved to find the facade lifted and the gruesomeness of what you permitted to occur laid bare for all to see and endure.

Until then, 75% long, 100% willing participant.

Yesterday we were mired in the worst economy since the Great Depression. Today everything is ideal. Stocks are higher by 700 and nothing can stop it. However, breadth is fat and weak and I have tried and failed to produce intra day trades of any varying success, mired in a 0.9% decline. Luckily for me, the Quant is +3.5% and has made today profitable, albeit at the expense of 10% losses since the month began.

We are, undoubtedly, in an odd market, where breadth is narrow, but momentum is infectious and pervasive. Retail participation is at decades high and TikTok investors are leading us towards a grim ending. Before that happens, however, I expect even more depravity and wanton chicanery.

I have 40% cash and I am interested in going all in before the end of the day. Why the fuck not? Who is going to stop me?

On an unrelated note, my local tailor turned my $150 pants into fucking high waters and I am going to kill her now.

Congratulations to all of those who had the eternal fortitude to hold tight during that two day bear raid. As you can see, the Dow is +400, NASDAQ +200, and it’s all over now. The misery and the pain of being in anguish has dissipated and replaced with an acute sense of greed.

I had been long inverse ETF products — and luckily got out with my account at breakeven for the day — thanks to various longs.

The results so far.

SDC +6.4%
(SQQQ -2.7%) x2
FNGD -3.8%

I am now in the process of fishing in the sewer for runners. I’ve seen this sort of tape before and it’s trickery is permitting you to believe it cannot last. WRONG. It shall last the entire day. Anyone who bets against it gets shot.

Breadth is steadily unticking from 55% to 67% and you should expect a slow melt up throughout the day, pressing the faces of shorts onto a very hot griddle.

The most important thing a person can have, especially a trader, is confidence. Today exemplified my magnificence, coming off a ‘Miracle Session‘ on Friday — where I turned lemons into lemonade and erased a 600BPS deficit.

Today is no different, only such that I needed to maintain my gains instead of making anything back. I came out of the gates running with a +13% winner in SQQQ. I then and quickly went on a trading tangent, yielding a net positive result — but a dreadful slog of trend reversals. The main goal by 3pm was to preserve my gains, which has been 200bps. I hedged with inverse ETFs and then added to them with conviction as the market waned.

I then took some overnight longs just in case — but my position is net short and I ended up 0.75%.

My trades.

SQQQ +13.3%
(SVXY -3.6%)
WORX +9.6%
CODX +16.8%
SABR +1.7%
SPCE +3.2%
MIK +0.4%
(LITE -2.9%)
(GSX -3.4%)
BLNK +7.8%
(APRN -2.9%)
(SPAQ -1.3%)
(OPK -1.2%)
(GMHI -0.6%)
UBER – wash
APT +0.15%
LCA +0.75%
WORK +1.65%
(CLSK -3.4%)

Sounds great, right?

WRONG.

Because I reimplemented my Quant on the first of September, I have been getting my ass hammered, as it is a market perform allocation of some of the ‘best’ stocks in the world. It fell by 3.5% today and is OFF by more than 13% for the month. I cannot stress this enough when I say — losing money in a quant model feels so much better than when I do it myself. I know the money is the same and my wife certainly won’t appreciate being driven to the poorhouse in an antiseptic quantitative fashion. But I still feel good. That has to count for something.

We are in the midst of a dreadful rout and although I’d like to tell you, for the sake of my fucking quant, all is going to be well — I cannot. The air has come out from the FAANG trade and Tesla is finished — off by 20% alone today — because it wasn’t added to the S&P 500. Whatever.

Truth is, there is a reckoning coming and it’s all because of you — the faggot TikTok investor who trades thru Robinhood. You sirs are scourge and shall be cleansed from this pallet, cast far away from the gentleman market and into something more of an abyss. The Davey Day Traders of the world are limited. Enjoy them now, for soon, they will will transmorph into fucking skeletal dinosaurs to gawk at and show your kids where once a moron lived.

Down $700k and cool as the other side of the pillow. I love this shit. #DDTG pic.twitter.com/W1GjGgUSa1

— Dave Portnoy (@stoolpresidente) September 8, 2020

I changed my mind. I am still allowed to do that in this country, am I not?

The decline in oil is deleterious. The plunge in Tesla and other leadership names is obvious. Softbank and their cohorts are finished. Now the only thing we can offer them is the black flag.

I traded like a magician this morning. My results.

SQQQ +13.3%
(SVXY -3.6%)
WORX +9.6%
CODX +16.8%
SABR +1.7%
SPCE +3.2%
MIK +0.4%
(LITE -2.9%)
(GSX -3.4%)

See pal, there is a difference between a person like you, and a person — such as myself. I aim to maim and then kill, while you only aim to avoid conflict. I am now calling for a RESUMPTION of the leg down. I am not positioned for it, however, and have 1 hedge and 30% long exposure. I will wait until the later hours to double and triple up my bets. I do of course reserve the right to change my mind again, as this is a fluid situation. I might also continue to trade throughout the day, taking money from mom and pops and using it for my champagne collection.

I stepped into today 65% cash, hedged with SQQQ. I sold it today, like a man, for a 13.3% profit. It’s important that you know this and how much I want markets to dive. However, we retested the lows from Friday, having plunged 400 NASDAQS at the open and it’s entirely possible that is all we will see…for now.

The temptation to sell short is palpable, but SPACs and bullshit stocks are running again.

I will be taking on some long bets here, hoping for a rally. If we fail and markets weaken, I will bet heavily against oil.

Zerohedge broke the biggest news in finance this year and you better pay attention to it.

I’ll sum it up for you, especially for those who have no fucking idea what Tyler is talking about.

SoftBank is run by a bunch of assholes. They make aggressive bets and have been backstopped by the BOJ. They hired a bunch of other assholes from Deutsch Bank who came up with a great idea and it went like this.

Take the enormous unlimited balance sheet of SoftBank and buy into call options with high delta and create a gamma squeeze which would then force dealers to chase them and getting long said securities. They gathered over $30b in notional exposure and invested upwards of $4b into fucking call options, which then caused implied volatility to spike and that’s why you saw such a weird rally the past two weeks. It was narrow, focused on FAANG stocks and it sucked. Tesla and Apple were chased higher and no one had the balls to take the other side of the trade, until now.

Allegedly, SoftBank is still long and although the Nasdaq recovered much of its losses on Friday, futures are off by 120 now and people want revenge. Should markets begin to drop, implied volatility will get hammered on Softbank positions and their little gamma squeeze will reverse and their faces will be ripped off their fucking skulls.

Markets are rigged. There is proof. Now let’s see if any does something about it.

Their positions

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COUPON CODE: It’s Over

When I bought my GL450, I thought it’d be a swell car. To be honest, it was an asshole purchase by a person who was an asshole at the time. I liked the car because of how it looked and the cache it possessed. It drove no better than my Lexus, a previous car of mine — but I soon found out it was a GIGANTIC piece of shit that would harangue me for the next 5+ years.

Like averaging down in a bad stock, instead of ditching it and replacing it, I kept repairing it. Last year I had a timing chain issue, which is a ruinous repair for most people; but like an asshole, I undertook the expense of $10k for a car that was worth no more than $20k.

Two days ago, an engine light came on and I decided my time was too valuable for this PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT, so I repaired it again and then traded it in for a Subaru Touring.

Before you turn your nose up at my lesbian-mobile, fully stocked with granola, just know it is merely a placeholder and will be given to my daughter when she graduates from high school at the end of this school year. Thus far, I am quite pleased with the Subaru and can honestly say it drives BETTER than the fucking Benz. As a point in fact, I am a foremost expert in all of the Benz vehicles — since my car is always in repair and the dealership is always lending me new cars. The fucking Subaru drives better than all of them and also has way better technology, so there’s that. Plus, let’s not forget, the cost of owning a Subaru is a rounding error in my great big titted brokerage account.

For the time being, Le Fly is a humble Forester driver — zipping up and down mountain ranges at great speeds, with a mouth filled with organic granola.

Let me explain something to you. I really hate losing. During tennis lessons, I strike the ball to kill it. My wife and instructor always ask me to take it easy — but I must become great at tennis and I know the only way is to play every single day with 100% effort. This is why I hit fucking lasers on the court and will soon be able to annihilate local tennisFAGS in my area.

At the depths of today’s session, I was off by more than 6%. I was 95% invested, stuck in the amber of my own doing. I doubled down on TQQQ and LABU, both 15% in the hole. Then I saw a seam in BIG COCK, BIGC — ran higher by 10. With those proceeds and the subsequent rally OFF THE LOWS, I took available cash and went on a 13 for 13 day trading streak — turning a 6% deficit into a 0.55% gain.

See pal, that’s who the fuck I am. If you’re unsure about my market trading prowess, fuck off. I have nothing to prove. All of my trades are broadcasted in Exodus. Ask around.

Going forward, I hedged and took a few positions into next week, 65% cash. On the other hand, the Quant was OFF by 3.7% — because it is not managed and doesn’t have the Space Alien Magician vibes emanating from my imperial market hand.