Would You Likes Some Waffles With Your ROFL’s?

Come on, you must adnit, you are really, really dumb. I mean, it’s almost comical, if it wasn’t so very sad. If I had any feelings, I’d cry for you, on behalf of the lives you are ruining with your investment mishaps. How are your short sales working out for you? I gather the storm is on the horizon, readying to come crashing down on my head, right?

See pal, you look at the market and see cancer. I look at it and see vaccines. Your mind is distorting everything that you see. The prism in which you view things is entirely without honor and dignity. You are not honest with yourself. How in the world do you expect to make money in this market? Get with the program Jack, else you will be shining my shoes.

Everything is going up today; I don’t care what it is. The market CANNOT reverse lower today, for we are rolling downhill now.

In other words, feel free to get drunk and buy stocks until the people on CNBC start doing lines of blow out of Jimmy Choo shoes, live on teevee, while popping Bignac champagne corks.

Top picks: POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]]

Coincidence? I think not.

Blankfein is not on the board of any other public company. He is, however, a trustee of the New York Historical Society and an overseer of the Weill Medical College of Cornell University. Blankfein is also director of the Partnership for New York City and of The Robin Hood Foundation. He is also said to be a Yankees fan.

Think about it. Think.about.it.

The Fed just wants liquidity and they could care less if you get nailed at the pump, the fruit stand or even the hamburger shoppe. The mantra is to continue the path of easiest inflation, in order to “feel good” and avoid making hard choices. It’s politically convenient to pass the buck down the road, ignoring basic mathematics, pertaining to insurmountable debt payments and general expenses. Nevertheless, the stock market is only interested in near term data. If you think about it, the market is pretty darn stupid, representing an ironic cross section of this countries fiscal policy.

Deep down, I am afraid of what this country will look like 10 years down the road. The way I see it, our leadership is too impotent to get anything done. Moreover, the great experiment known as American Capitalism is best represented today by the ponzi schemes of Bernie Maddoff, than the industrious men of the 20th century. Very apropos.

As for this tape:

I am not impressed and would sell, if I was not thinking 2 months in advance. The post Fed sell off may spill over into tomorrow’s opening tick and test the durability of this rally.

Into the bell, I am content with my stocks being up, but disappointed that the rally was stymied by lunatics in burlap hoodies and velcro shoes.

It’s not always this easy. Going into a Fed meeting, it’s entirely possible for the market to reverse and head lower “a couple.” All they have to do is hint that interest rate hikes might be on the horizon and BAM— off with the markets head. However, at the moment, I am willing to accept that risk, in order to participate in the greatest melt up known to U.S. equity history.

In case you didn’t know, we are in a “long only” market, where short selling or hedging is simply a waste of time and money. You may not realize it, but I shame many of you into thinking correctly. You can all thank me later, down the road, when I am stuffed into a pineapple coffin, on my way to the after-life, better known as nothingness.

For you Republican Tea Party “freedom lovers” out there: do not associate today’s melt up with Republican victories in NJ and VA; that would be plain ol’ retarded. The Republicans are idiots, on a wholesale level, while Democrats are mentally disturbed on a retail level. At the end of the day, the market was destined to go higher thanks to The Turkey Gods. So let’s just leave it at that. If anyone asks “hey, why did the market go up today?” Just say: “Turkey Gods,” then hang up quickly.

My investment thesis is supported by three main themes: 4g, foreign and commodities plays—all represented by three neatly organized index’s on The PPT. My investment dollars will continue to flow into names like Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] , ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] , [[CBD]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , Vimpel-Communications (ADR) [[VIP]] and Aracruz Celulose SA (ADR) [[ARA]] . Within that theme, there are certain risk factors that must be addressed, such as position concentration, industry diversification and cash reserves. Most investors just buy a bunch of stuff, forget about it, without even analyzing the risk elements to their portfolios.

There are no short cuts and there are no magical secrets to getting rich. If you are serious about investing your hard earned dollars into the stock market, have a gameplan and follow through with it, or hire someone who knows how to do it. For the love of stupid grass blades, I know how to cut grass; but I don’t have time for that sort of “slave work.” Self-managing a large sum of money is not for everyone, especially if you are busy running a business.

Into the Fed meeting, I will hold my 12% cash position, hoping for a minor dip. Actually, scratch that thought. Should the market reverse and head lower today, that would be incredibly bearish for equities. We DO NOT want a market reversal today, especially on big volume.

Mashed potato smacks to the face. Cranberry packed punches to the scrotum. Turkey leg kicks to the sternum. These are some of the things—AND MORE—that define The Turkey Gods. You, Sir, are now falling victim to Turkey God attacks and you do not even know it.

As an aside, have you ever noticed that people who use exclamatory statements to get a point across are mentally ill?

Indeud!

Hopefully many of you will stop reading Le Fly, starting today. Let’s be honest with each other: most of you are undeserving of my advice and are better suited for the incoherent dialogue of the yahoo message boards, than fiddling around with the Gods site. A small number of you even sign up for The PPT and still trade like imbeciles. Seriously, it’s time for you to move on and GET THE HELL OFF MY WEBSITE!!!

This is a classy joint, endowed with all of the finest amenities known to man, with regards to websites of course. You can’t drive Ferraris here; but with a little hard work and a “piker free attitude” maybe one day you can buy a car that costs more than 30k.

Yesterday’s purchases are paying early dividends, with outsized gains in TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] , CGG Veritas (ADR) [[CGV]] and Mechel OAO (ADR) [[MTL]] .

Mark my words, we are heading for new 52 week highs and we will fulfill “The Prophecies of The Fly,” closing above 10,500 before the year 2009 ends.

Top picks: POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]]

An egregious loss by old Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] .

Now the good folks from NJ can get back to lower taxes, more spending a more borrowing from China, instead of higher taxes, more spending and marginally less borrowing from China.

Trade accordingly.

UPDATE: I like this post from Uncle Howard. What were you pikers doing in March of 2009?

Here’s what “The Fly” was doing:

Get Ready to Be Rich

Bears Lose a Leg

Fly Buy: KIM

Up, Up and Away

Fly Buys: LOGI, NTGR, TNA

Fly Buy: AXP

And The Wins Continue

F**** You Bears, You’re Dead

The bears lost the initiative. Pain forthcoming, finalized by full surrender by Turkey Day.

Top picks: Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , [[ENTR]] , Mechel OAO (ADR) [[MTL]] , Ctrip.com International, Ltd. (ADR) [[CTRP]] and POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] .

NOTE: Don’t forget to tune into the best live charting tutorial program on the internet, by The Chart Addict, starting tonight at 10pm. iBC will be embedding the stocktwits Tv widget on all iBC blogs and front page for the event. Despite spitting on charts, I do enjoy hearing CA’s thoughts on the markets.

FYI: For those of you wondering about RC, sadly, he is mourning the passing of a loved one.

Key reversal day in progress. You shall bow down to “The Fly” as he strikes deadly blows to the skulls of those who bet against him.

More on this later.

The market is down 5% from the highs; but the internals are far worse. The average steel stock is down 20% in recent weeks, same goes for small cap tech. Anyone with some skin in this game knows exactly what I am talking about.

The tide will turn and the market will trade higher. Mark my words you little trollops. This market is primed to go higher, specifically for one reason.

THE TURKEY GODS.

That’s right. Don’t think I forgot about the powers of the Turkey Gods and their control over stock prices. This is the time of year when people stuff their fat faces with stuffing, corn and turkey. There is no time to be bearish, quite frankly.

Look, if the market is going to trade lower, it will do so AFTER Thanksgiving—on Black Friday. However, traditionally, this is the time of year for celebration and joyous behavior. We can all get back to ending the world AFTER turkey day.

With my 15% cash position, I am all but forced to trade lightly. I will not go “all in” here, due to the outside chance that the Turkey Gods drop the ball. I will reserve my 15% cash for “emergency” hedging opportunities or “must buy” situations. My current positions are downright dreadful, getting the full brunt of the “homo-hammer” — in recent weeks. I am appalled by the recent action in TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] and [[MWW]] . However, that’s life.

In a word, this market is “coiled.”

Okay I Lied UPDATE: I could not help myself. I bought partial blocks of the following: [[CBD]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , CGG Veritas (ADR) [[CGV]] , ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] and Mechel OAO (ADR) [[MTL]] . I am bulking up on foreign names and Cramer hatred, via EQIX.

I bought 5,000 [[ENTR]] @ $2.40 and 3,000 TEKELEC [[TKLC]] @ $14.90.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, you will be accused of being a “communist supporter” and subsequently sent to jail. And, you may lose money.