Clunk Yourself to Death

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8N3sB_YNOM 616 500]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzy2dgEUOhY 616 500]

It’s the sound of your money being transferred to me, Mr. Bearshitter. I don’t care if the market drops 1,000 on Monday. You, Sir, with all of your dire warnings, have failed to be a voice of reason, for the investing public. If you want to give opinions, be sure to know whatever it is that you are talking about—prior to going public. Do not make believe to be an authority, based upon wild theories or lines on charts.

Tell me where the money is going; then I will listen to you. Show me an earnings shortfall, then point to where you suggested going short ahead of the news.

Frankly, being on the inside looking out, I feel sorry for some of you clueless fuckers, unable to get even one call right.

Remember, investing is not for everyone. It has taken me 20 years of study to fuck with this market, the way I do, like a remote control car. Don’t think for a second that investing is easy, else bastards like me will fleece you of all of you coin, inside a short trading week.

Enjoy the weekend.

On my second bowl of oatmeal—horse style. I spent the entirety of my day doing meaningless/unproductive things—working smart instead of like a walking pig.

I see there is a little weakness permeating the market now. However, on a late Friday, following a week of non-stop bear fucking, we shall close at or near the highs.

Indeud.

I sold out of the rest of my Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] , @ $3.36.

I sold 25% of my Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] position, north of $4.80.

And, last but not least, I bought 100,000 American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]] , between $3.00-3.02—for an egregious squeeze.

The Kudlow Crowd, led by Larry himself, are tasering short sellers in the face this morning, on better than expected employment data. Senor Tropicana is making boatloads of coin this morning, with big wins in Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] , Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] etc. It pains me to see Central Pacific Financial Corp. [[CPF]] , UCBH Holdings, Inc. [[UCBH]] and Sterling Financial Corporation [[STSA]] fly higher than HBAN, but that’s life.

I intend to spend the rest of my day, sipping on some lemonade, while throwing chicken bones at some of my bearish colleagues.

The retail broker is dead, thanks in large part to inverse ETF’s. It’s an interesting story that is getting zero airtime. You see, most retail brokers are abject morons, only skilled in the art of sales, not investing. In previous bear markets, they got eaten alive due to their inability to effectively short stocks. Then came the inverse ETF’s. At first, they were a God-send for Captain Coldcaller and Co, enabling them to make money in a bear market— but then came the screwball. The recent implosion of [[SKF]] , [[FAZ]] , [[SRS]] etc. has skinned the average retail broker down to the bone. Right now, the lawyers are busy crushing brokerage firms, through arbitration, under the weight of multiple 7 figure ETF related losses.

Indeud.

If you are in the business, and find yourself to be very stupid, do yourself a favor and take them (FAZ, SKF, SRS etc.) off your screen. You do not need them.

With my time, I will pray for wilderbeasts to bite the lips off of the Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] shit talkers today. Generally speaking, I am having a great day and do not care to ruin it talking to the likes of you.

For your consideration.

Via The PPT:

Sector: Financials
% of shares sold short: 10%+
Price per share: under $5
Average Volume: over 500k
Hybrid Score: Over 2

I think I made the wrong trade, buying more Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] instead of my target Sterling Financial Corporation [[STSA]] . If you are curious as to my methods, I am looking for banks with big short positions and decent tier one capital (over 8.5%). My immediate buy list includes: HBAN, STSA and Central Pacific Financial Corp. [[CPF]] . As you know, I still own a little Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , but intend to sell that fucker at $3 or better.

I don’t feel like blogging anymore today. I am “blogged out,” with my mind on other things, such as: lifting large barbells over my head, eating stuff and drinking a few glasses of Pappy, courtesy of the venerable Mr. Swan.

So, to sum up my sentiments: I am cautiously long, with more than 30% of assets in cash. I am interested in short squeezes and may begin to trade with a bit more velocity. Some of my larger positions, like Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , are gay and needle me with daily losses. All in all, I am making more money than you because I am smarter, cooler and people give me stuff, out of fear of mustache removal.

I bought 50,000 Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] @ $4.44.

Disclaimer: If you buy HBAN because of this post, your neighbor will siphon electricity from your house. And, you may lose money.

I am calling an audible here by going to cash on a number of names. I sold out of Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] ($11.30+), STMicroelectronics N.V. (ADR) [[STM]] ($7.80+) and [[ARMH]] ($6.20+), while blowing out of 75% of my Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] and Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] positions as well. All in all, my cash position is now nearing 35% and I have little motivation to buy this dip.

The market just “feels” fucked up, like it wants to rape people of their coin. I will have you know, “The Fly” has never been raped and does not intend on allowing that to happen in this lifetime or the next.

I have a long list of stocks on my watchlist, worthy of purchase. However, barring a significant change in tone, I will take my lumps on the remainder of my longs—into the bell—knowing that I have reduced my risk and responsibly booked profits.

For now, I believe this is the best course of action.