NOTE: This was intended to be posted last week. However, as you now know, The Turkey Gods were interrupted by debt junkies from the Middle East. At any rate, here it is, unedited.
Gentleman, the Turkey Gods are here and they bring gifts of perverse language, through a space alien magician conduit.
The market trading above 10,500, on the eve of the Turkey Gods, is not an accident. Gentleman, it is by design.
I warned you cocksuckers not to fuck with me. I told you the warm tales of Turkey Gods and how they control stock prices, with their ferocious cranberry encrusted beaks and gravy covered claws, over and over again. I exclaimed with ferocious tenacity: “The Fly wins all the time, The Fly Wins all the time, blah, blah, blah,” but you chose to disbelieve my dire warnings and pearls of enlightenment, in exchange for pure goat fuckery. As a result, you ventured off like a homo in the perfume section at Macy’s, to lesser websites, hosted by men in bow ties, who told you “America sucks (dick).” On that advice, you took your entire life savings and bet against the awesome criminals in dark suits, via large amounts of [[FAZ]] in your pathetic IRA accounts.
Guess what, fuckface?
Now you’re just dead. You’re not laughing anymore, mainly because you are fucking dead. Donuts to doorknobs, your market prowess is a drag on America’s economic recovery. I bid you farewell.
I’ve been winning for a little more than 10 fucking years now. With grace and dignity, like a gentleman with a pipe, I come here to iBankCoin in an effort to show goodwill by sharing my market experiences— literally helping the stupid people make a little coin in this diabolical world. What do I get in return? I get a guy, a poorly dressed fat guy if I might say so, coming to this web address telling me his “opinions” regarding the market. ROFL!! (3 exclamation marks is a sign of insanity, not 2!!)
HELLO!! Anyone home? How hilarious is that?
Your opinions mean nothing to me, AND MORE. I don’t give two fucks and a gay mule about anything. I am “The Fly” and I will slap you in the face with a sizzling slice of pizza without warning. This is my fucking website. Like it or not, you are going to have to live with that harsh reality.
What are we talking about here?
Gentlemen, we are talking about winship—winning in business, at home, in the street or even in dreams/nightmares.
Separately, a great man once said: “fuck those firemen.” I could not agree more. All firemen really do is hang around their stupid little clubhouses, cooking gourmet food all day long—metrosexual style. How often does a building burn down, really? The most noble occupation in America, by far, is asset management. Forget about public servants. They are nothing more than “Government Bitches.” When discussing asset management, we are talking about a job that requires vast skill sets, courage and tenacity, the sort of thing this great nation was founded on. When done properly, asset managers improve the quality of life for just about everyone out there, by creating enough capital gains to fund great national projects, stemming from bank bailouts to “reversing global warming.” On this Thanksgiving, remember to give thanks and praise to people, like Le Fly, that make America great.
In closing, you should not have bet against me. God willing, you have learned, yet another, valuable lesson and will never question my market hand again, sans the whole Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] situation. Nonetheless, something tells me you little trollops are full of shit and are plotting against me, as I write this essay. My internet life is a never ending struggle, similar to the super hero-villain relationship, only gayer.
But in the end, “The Fly” will always win.
Happy Thanksgiving.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cH-K3MU7-fA 616 500]
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