iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,420 Blog Posts

It’s Gonna Be a K-Cup Christmas

It’s official. Before 2009 ends, “Santa Fly’s” biggest position will be Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] . The trend is undeniable and the technology is second to none: America loves “The K-Cup,” despite what you blue collar fuckers say inside of filthy Dunkin’ Donut hell holes.

The eps estimates are wayyyy too low, considering they (GMCR) make the hottest electronic device in America, aside from the Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] line of products, and control the supply of coffee, via Tulley’s, Green Mountain brands and now [[DDRX]] —all owned or soon to be owned by the makers of the Keurig.

Retail sales are on the mend, people; America wants their fucking coffee served fresh—fuckface. It’s the perfect gift, aside from The PPT (naturally).

On a separate note, foreign markets are ripping higher this evening, as people remember that those fuckers from Dubai really are rich, especially their brothers in UAE. Oh, by the way, The PPT told you to buy on Friday.

Don’t ever say “Santa Fly didn’t get me jack shit for x-mas.” That would be a fucking lie and you know it.

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141 comments

  1. Steve Place

    Jan GMCR 55 Puts offering ~3% return on risk, on margins you’re looking at 15-20%, nice play for the option degenerates out there.

    Glad to see you’re back to your proper vernacular.

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  2. HuggieBear

    Let this bitch go up and go up hard tomorrow. After how my turkey day was disrupted, they owe me.

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    • The Fly

      Christmas come early

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    • sandfleas

      Have you looked at the chart of this fucking POS?
      Ragin Cajun warned you guys back on Nov. 24,
      if it goes below 63.32, BAIL.
      It could fall to its 200 day moving average (56 and change).
      What if PEET counter offers tomorrow after 5 p.m?
      I can’t be long this stock until the smoke clears.

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  3. Bucephalus

    That’s right Senor Fly. This fucker is goin higher.. moonshot to the outer orbit of Jove.
    Doubled down on my 2k shares of QLD( original purchase price 43) Friday morning at the open.. Let’s watch those Quasimodo midget fucker perma-Bears clean up after the party is over.

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    • The Fly

      Fucking moonshot.

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      • sandfleas

        You guys are all under water with this fucking POS because you followed The Fly in.
        Big mistake.
        Fly knows it’s dead money, too.
        Stock’s in the penalty box right now until next earnings report.
        If I’m wrong, I’ll buy a Keurig to help you all out.

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  4. Flux Capacitor

    Why is this thing suddenly so trendy? It’s not like it’s new – they’ve been around for years. Reminds me of the (retarded) pod brewer craze a while back.

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  5. sandfleas

    I drink my cawfee FRESH, every fucking morning, from an old-fashioned Dom DiMaggio, or Joe, (I forget which brother hawked it) Mr. Coffee model. They are under $60. I repeat, there are no white-collar brothas buying the Keurig because they comprise the highest percentage among our 7 million unemployed in our nation.
    Indeud. Men have been fucked over by this recession bigtime.
    No woman in her right mind would spend that amount of money on a coffee-maker.
    I’ll wait for GMCR to drop, like a bunch of soggy coffee grinds to the high 50s level, before I buy.

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    • The Fly

      You must live in Detroit or some other asshole city. K-cups to your face, clown-fucker. To your fucking face.

      Also, Mr. Coffee is launching its own K-cup machine in 2010, motherfucker, using GMCR’s patented technology.

      Chew on that you damn dog.

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      • JakeGint

        Dom DiMaggio! I laughed out loud!

        The Red Sock, already?

        __________

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        • sandfleas

          You bet.
          Since ’67.
          I haven’t had the cawfee-maker that long though.
          No Red Sox fan worth their salt would buy a fricken coffee-maker like the Keurig.
          It is SO not New England.

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          • JakeGint

            You’re kidding right?

            Been in Boston recently?

            Those fey yuppies make the phags in NY look like Teamsters.

            __________

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          • The Fly

            Excuse me. Don’t misconstrue the homos from MANhattan with other NYC people. We kill those fuckers for less than the cost of a K-Cup.

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          • Teahouse On The Tracks
            Teahouse On The Tracks

            My ass … this is the home of DD and when not on the go we drink coffee by the potful not “by the cup” …. visit more often and don’t use Milford as an example … Portuguese don’t count!

            Eddie Lampert has three models piled up in a store in Hyannis and they haven’t moved yet … keep looking to Long Island, Key West, NO and Frisco for support.

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        • Teahouse On The Tracks
          Teahouse On The Tracks

          The Little Professor not to be confused with The Video Professor ….

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      • The_Real_Hmmm

        Eight floor, Red Roof Inn.

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        • JakeGint

          Mo Stanley bot Red Roof Inn’s back in the day (my NY day), and there weren’t any 8 floor models, to my recollection.

          __________

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          • The_Real_Hmmmm

            To understand better Jake, think eighth floor, subterranean. Phone number is 422-KOPG.

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  6. Anthony Brown

    It looks like everyone is ready to buy the fuck out of this dip! New market highs this week?

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  7. softbatch26

    coffee is for closers

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  8. JakeGint

    I’m just glad this whole Al Gore bullshit is finally coming to a head.

    Looks like the boys in the CIA (NSA?) finally said — “that’s just about enough of this bullshit, already…”

    Leeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaakkkkkk….

    (“ovah heah”)

    __________

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  9. BuffaloUdders

    Yes everyone likes their coffee fresh, because fresh tastes good. This Keurig system makes CRAP. Its horrible. It doesnt matter which one you try, if you’re the type to own a burr grinder and a drip maker, this shit will not replace it. Not to mention its expensive. Fuck if you have enough $$ to blow on shit like this, go ahead and start buying the Kopi Luwak beans, at least you will be buying good shit, literally.

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    • The Fly

      You are a lying sack of shit.

      A. I know my coffee.

      B. I know my fucking coffee.

      C. YOU DO NOT OWN A KEURIG.

      D. I own a Keurig.

      Any questions?

      Always buy extra bold K-cups, like the Kona variety from Tulley’s. You will not be disappointed. The same people talking shit about the Keurig would have talked shit about color television years ago, saying “black and white is the shizzle. No need for a faux real picture.”

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      • BuffaloUdders

        Thankfully I didnt have to BoyzIntheHood my Keurig because I never bought it. I was spared the udder (sic) embarrassment of home brewing this shite because a company that I worked for bought one. Wanting to pass costs like coffee onto their employees, they bought a Keurig and you bought the cup out of a vending machine. After the first week, there were 5x more thermos in the office, and everyone laughed at the disgusting shit that flowed out of this nasty bitch machine. Obviously your taste buds are directly connected to cussing and shall soon reveal to you the egregious error of your pontificating ways.

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  10. The Fly

    Al Gore is a great criminal, mastermind of a massive worldwide fraud. He is like that Luther guy, only with hair.

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  11. Eric

    The “K-cup” makes a GREAT cup of coffee…..if an old school 8oz cup is your thing. It won’t make it.

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  12. The Fly

    Another thing:

    I am fucking SHOCKED by how many of you complain about price. This is a fucking stock market website, not some “HELP, I AM FILING FOR CHAPTER 11” message board.

    Seriously, if you homos think $150 is a lot of money, get off this site and never come back again.

    Think small, then you stay small. Hence, you are all midgets.

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  13. The_Real_Hmmm

    The Keurig machine is what embodies the American lifestyle: speed and variety. It’s like a Rolodicks for a slut.

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  14. dave

    The same marginally employed assholes who used to drink at Starbucks every day are buying this thing.
    I want to see a taste test between this and a Mr. Coffee machine. Ohhhhh look honey, it has a coffee cartridge for you to use instead of your lazy ass having to scoop up a couple cups of grounds and messing with that filter.

    Why not just bottle the shit in a microwavable container and be done it.

    I have heard one story too many about people losing their jobs and homes. If you lost your job, sorry you’re fucked. You aren’t getting a job, much less one that will pay what you used to make. Pack your shit, move in with your parents, friends, or a tent. Don’t sit in your fucking house not paying the mortgage. House prices have to fall – this is delaying a recovery.

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    • sandfleas

      I will personally check in with my local Target in a couple of weeks and give you
      an inventory check of Keurigs’ popularity.
      I don’t live in an asshole city like Detroit. But you’re close.

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    • Dr Fly

      Dave

      Do yourself a favor and drown yourself in a vat of cat vomit. Seriously.

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    • MOOBS

      I think they have an entire office/workplace space they can enter.

      Office coffee sucks. Having a drip machine or french press is impractical (I have french press). Now I have a new Kcup thingy. Plug it in, load with water (no water line connection required), and chuck the empty Kcups.

      I look forward to never sleeping.

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    • Teahouse On The Tracks
      Teahouse On The Tracks

      Arm the Homeless!!!

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  15. mrkcbill

    I will soon own a K-Cup brewing delivery system. Stop having boring coffee.

    Gonna get me one of those coffee-tree holders as well.

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  16. Damon

    Mr. Fly (a/k/a: Mr. Coffee):

    I get the feeling you are too emotionally involved with this trade.

    You know better than to get so intimate with a stock.

    GMCR to the moon (and then to zombieland).

    Ack ack ack!

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  17. Dr Fly

    Let this thread serve as an example of how pathetic and stupid all of you are. A fucking waste of good oxygen, all of you are.

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  18. Po Pimp

    In case anybody cares, so far Asian markets are up nicely. Except for Singapore. Not sure why it isn’t following the trend of an Asian rebound, but there it sits at -2%. I guess I could turn on Asia CNBC and find out, but I don’t want the noise.

    Nikkei is up 2.5%, Hang Seng is up 3.5% and Kospi (Seoul) is up 2.5%.

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  19. dave

    Keurig – soon to come out with other products for retards like:

    Self inflating ballons
    Vaccine for dyslexia
    Quick escape plastic bags – just pull it over your head, seal tightly and wait
    Self immolation kit
    Condom trees
    The ass purse

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  20. masterpain

    I just read this thread . I bought GMCR at the end of friday . 6000 shares . Monday should have some news from the competition . Lets see how this plays out, I got a good feeling. Even with Fly on the rag and his tampon getting wetter by the minute , doesnt mean all his picks are abjectably moronic .

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    • sandfleas

      Should have bought at the open and sold after retail investor bid it to 64.10 (explosive move on the minute-chart if you were watching it) intraday before it dropped to
      EOD price. Come on, LOD was first 10 minutes of trading.
      I think it goes lower Monday because nothing is for certain until AH.

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    • Dr Fly

      Masterpain

      Go fuck yourself with a wooden clock.

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  21. Largebill

    Despite my earlier assertion that swearing should not resume until after 10,500 is crossed, I now believe that maybe the market was waiting for the massive cuss-stream to push it past that level. Seeing how Asia is looking to decide to ignore Dubai after all, today (tomorrow, whatever) may see us make it past that level. If so some measure of credit should go to your decision to accept 10,496 as close e-f’n-nough.

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  22. Grey beard

    Please disclose how much you are being compensated to promote this stock? Full disclosure please.

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  23. Dr Fly

    I am being paid by delivery of your mother.

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  24. Dr Fly

    In case you were actually serious: ZERO.

    I would never accept a penny from any company to promote them. Fuck them and their money. I have my own money.

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  25. Grey beard

    What does my mother have to do with how much a public company pays you to push their stock to retail investors?

    Also curious how much Flotek compensated you for your services?

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    • Dr Fly

      So now I am a stock hustler? You know that is the greatest insult anyone has throw my way. Go fuck yourself, very sincerely—all jokes aside.

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    • Dr Fly

      GMCR is a billion dollar corporation, whose stock is up 100’s of percent in recent years. They do not need me to promote them , you sack of shit.

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  26. Voodoo River

    Is this Keuriig thing sustainable or is it just another CROX ? What is your cost for 4 cups of coffee versus 4 cups of freshly ground and brewed coffee? I tried the Tulley and the taste does not come even close to the one made from an Espresso machine. TX.

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    • The Fly

      Keurig has gone from 0% share a few years ago to 17% of the coffee maker market. Unlike CROX, Keurig’s will not be sold in Chinese rip off shops for $5.

      The key here is recurring revenue. Once you buy it, you will need to constantly replenish with new K-cups. They make .12 per every K-Cup sold.

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    • The Fly

      Espresso is top notch. No instant coffee machine can compete with that. Keep in mind, this coffee brews within 15 seconds.

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  27. The Fly

    Appreciated Hammy, but not really necessary.

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  28. JakeGint

    Good thing to see the cover finally being torn off this whole anthropogenic global warming scam.

    Next, let’s take on the alarmists who’ve made big dough trying to pick granny’s pocket on this issue….

    ________

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  29. Horsetradin

    Doesn’t GMCR have something like 20% plus short interest? Screw the K cup, this thing could be back at $80 in 5 minutes just for fun.

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  30. Damon

    Wow.

    The Fly is full of love tonight!

    GMCR must appeal to the new-money-yuppie crowd.

    What is really inside those PCB and Pet-A laden plastic cups, I ask?

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  31. TA

    Unfucking-believable hilarity

    The Fly is back fuckers!
    No more, your mother is a goat
    Now go suck my massive cock your shit eating motherfucker

    The comment section on this post is pure gold

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    • The Fly

      They had it good for too fucking long. They were used to a docile Fly, an unarmed man, whose proper weaponry was locked away in the old toolshed.

      Guess what motherfuckers? The toolshed is open and I am firing howitzers at your bullshit faces.

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  32. speedius

    You know how I make coffee? I boil water in a teakettle and pour it by hand through finely ground coffee beans. I hate the very idea of the K-Cup and everything it represents. I haven’t hated a product so much since the iPhone. In other words, this is only the beginning. Never underestimate the ability of lazy, trendy people to spend money they don’t have on crap they don’t need.

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    • The Fly

      Well there Grandpa:

      The fucking iphone has helped Apple to $200 p/s. You truly are an ancient man. I respect you for that.

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      • speedius

        I do have an early iPod, which now looks like a Battlestar Galactica prop, and the wife has a new-fangled touch. The iPhone sucks as a phone though – it’s the network.

        I really need to taste some of this K-Crap. If these things are as bad at making coffee as iPhones are at making phone calls, I will double my position.

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      • Granpa

        No need to bring my nane into it.

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    • Hammy

      no

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  33. JasonB

    2 girls 1 K-Cup

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  34. The Fly

    This chinese money manager on bberg teevee is out of her fucking tree. Check out the disturbing body language.

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    • Po Pimp

      I’m not sure of whom you speak, but Susan Lin on Bloomberg Asia is an absolute hottie. I had evil thoughts about what a shot of my man juice across her silk blouse would look like. And I’ll be willing to bet anything that her cooter is completely shaved.

      Enough for now. I need a cold shower.

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  35. jay the coffee guru
    jay the coffee guru

    DId I mention K-cups are for fags. I rock an Italian Made espresso machine that makes real coffee, not the swill most people are willing to drink because they dont know anybetter.

    The problem I have is the charts are telling me that the street thinks they are bidding to much for DDRX, regardless of how great this marrage is going to be. If they drop the bid I bet GMCR rockets 25%.

    O well never happen. I will wait for a deeper pullback before I get some. and I do want some. Oh my double shot of new crop El salvador is ready. This bean comes from a place where…

    Across the mud huts the children sleep
    Through the alleys of a quiet city street
    You take the staircase to the first floor
    Turn the key and slowly unlock the door
    As a man breathes into a saxophone
    And through the walls you hear the city groan
    Across the field you see the sky ripped open
    You see the rain through a gaping wound
    Pounding on the women and children
    Who run Into the arms
    Of America

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  36. Po Pimp

    j, you’ll find the latest from slope quite interesting. I hand-picked the best paragraph for your viewing enjoyment:

    But here’s the cool part of the story – – – – I didn’t get a chance to see where my portfolio wound up until Saturday morning (!)

    How many times have we heard something along those lines… best performance is when he gets out of the way.

    The bottom line is that it was far and away the best daily profit I’ve ever had in my trading career.

    Sorry, but I am calling absolute bull-fucking-shit. This same shit-stain claims he made a bajillion bucks in the huge crash last year. Now he’s saying a day where the S&P dripped down less than 2% was his biggest daily profit, evah? As in biggest single-day profit OF ALL FUCKING TIME???

    Then dipshit closes with this:
    I remain 100% short and plan to expand the size and quantity of my positions early this week.

    If this isn’t a sure sign the market is going to blast off this week then I don’t know what is. Bulls should prepare for a very nice week indeud.

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    • The Fly

      How is that possible? The market was down a cunt hair. In 2008, the fucking market was so weak it was laughable, literally.

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      • Po Pimp

        I have no idea how that is possible; but I’m going to venture a guess that perhaps he’s not always treuthful. Shocking, no?

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    • The_Real_Hmmmm

      His dogged attitude reminds me of something. Anyone who goes 100% anything is a fucking lunatic.

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    • Lemonjello

      He didn’t have a chance my lilly white ass, you know when this guy travels he’s checking the market every 30 seconds, beads of sweat running down his abnormally large forehead. Family begging for some attention while he waves them off to hit refresh yet again on MarketWatch. There’s nothing quite as believable as that post 24 hours late telling you how he pulled half of his trades off for maximum profit just before things turned back against him. Hey asshole, you had enough time to post a video of a fat kid on a roller coaster but you couldn’t casually mention that you were taking profits???? And here’s the great thing, you’re full of shit!!!!

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  37. dave

    Keurig is as useful as foreign porn with subtitles.

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  38. DPeezy

    There isn’t/wasn’t a single Black Friday/etc. ad that I saw that did not push a Keurig Brewer as one of its “featured” deals this season. Target, Sears, Wal-Mart, you name it. They have made it out of the specialty shops and are going mainstream.

    Now, they’re not really my style, but anybody claiming this shit ain’t (getting) popular is a fucking retard.

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  39. The_Real_Hmmmm

    ATTENTION FAGGOTS. Quit sitting in your computer chair jerking off underneath your Snuggie. I present the Amazon.com Home and Garden Bestsellers, updated hourly, at a time that represents the peak of annual holiday gift purchases:

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/bestsellers/home-garden/ref=pd_dp_ts_hg_1

    Vacuum cleaner sales are in anticipation of all of your corpses and bank accounts. Good day sirs.

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  40. dxbtrader

    UAE mkts opened sharply down today, with huge offers from the pre-mkt @ “limit-down” which is 10%, Nakheel bonds were suspended before the open, eventhough these are traded OTC no broker will execute on them now as they will not clear. With the amount of shares on offer and the complete lack of buyers the mkt has turned over less than USD10mln in Dubai and around USD12mln in Abu Dhabi with heavy offers coming from our Foreign Institutional clients, personally I dont expect this to change until we get some clarity from the Govt, mkt could continue to go “limit-down” for Tuesday as well, then we’re off for the rest of the week to celebrate “National Day”.

    We were glad to see global mkt bounce back and traded profitably for clients on Hang Seng, KOSPI and Oil futures, having listened to the ppt and bought on Friday for my pa, go GMCR!! I’m hoping for the same in the US.

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  41. dave

    The Brittish are such pussies when it comes to getting ass raped by their government. Royal Bank of Scotland is so tied up in the Dubai fiasco, Brittons may as well get out the old serf outfits and start playing in shit ala Monty Python.

    I am your King

    Well I didn’t vote for you.

    He must be king. He doesn’t have shit all over him.

    Help! Help! I’m being repressed! See the violence inherent in the system!

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  42. ZenProfit

    “Before 2009 ends, “Santa Fly’s” biggest position will be Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. ”

    Does this mean The Fly is planning to dump his former most favorite pick: FTK?

    If he does, we current FTK holders are all permanently screwed.

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    • Po Pimp

      When the ibc contingent of FTK holders all unload their shares it is going to be mass pandemonium. I envision something like the following youtube clip breaking out; where the ibc contingent are the ‘blues’ and the original shareholders are the ‘reds’ (or vice versa, it really doesn’t matter). Perhaps this is a sneak peak at the next FTK shareholders convention?

      Hostile takeover proxy fight, bishes:
      http://tinyurl.com/yehpq45

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  43. Ponch

    K-Cup invented by the makers of the K-Car and or maybe K-Tel

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  44. Jade37

    There was a 1-hour show dedicated to the Keurig on QVC over the weekend – I watched the 1st 10 minutes out of curiousity and there were apparently “record breaking” number of calls w/ in minutes (about 4,000 within minutes) – nuts, if true. The machine looks great though, also makes tea, hot cocoa, boils water w/ in 10 sec for oatmeal, etc.
    Ellen gave away a Keurig to each of her audience member last week as well. Just sayin’.

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    • Purdy

      Also, consider investing in other beneficiaries of the Keurig’s life-altering technology …like counter top manufactures (to make room for the bulky machine) and Waste Management, who’ll have to manage landfills containing decomposing spent K-cups for the next 10,000 years.

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  45. walstinvestor

    11/30/09 In Play

    08:14 GMCR Green Mtn Coffee: Stifel finds incrementally negative items in 10K disclosed last week (62.95 )

    Stifel notes that the co disclosed in a 10K last week that M Block, the order fulfillment co GMCR sells Keurig brewers and K-Cups to for re-sale to select retailers, accounted for 35.2% of FY09 rev, almost double the amount in FY08 (when it was 17.7% of rev). Additionally, they believe the lower-priced Keurig Mini, introduced in Sept 2008, has become a significant driver of brewer growth as revenue per brewer declined 22% YoY in FY09 to approximately $82. This is notable as they think Mini owners are unlikely to become heavy K-Cup users. They maintain their Sell rating on GMCR shares as they believe Keurig brewer growth will moderate once distribution gains slow and remain concerned that already declining attachment rates could be further pressured as a result.

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  46. toptick114

    ——-> 57-58——->54-55!

    Indeed!

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  47. A monkey with a dart board
    A monkey with a dart board

    Your coffee babble is pissing me off. Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. is for H0m0s. Try some real coffee, beans from Costa Rica. Expensive you ask? No. Fuck, compared to your ass I’m POOR and I buy the shit by the case. Why? because even us po-fucks know the difference between good coffee and some Starsucks posers type coffee. Try some. Try some, It will make your dick hard.

    http://www.cafebritt.com/

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  48. Zackary Subido

    Very interesting details you have remarked, thanks for posting . “It’s the soul’s duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion.” by Rebecca West.

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