This morning’s housing data was good, but not good enough. Moreover, the vagrants over at TOL missed earnings. The result is a broad pullback in housing related stocks, contributing to my demise.

I’m enjoying losses, across the board–most readily abundant in USG and BZH. To add insult to injury, the stupid farmer genre has gone rogue and ran over yours truly with a tractor. Shares of MOS are sharply lower, off the stupid CF numbers.

As you can see, I am on “vacation”, enjoying the day with large capital losses. Of course I will make back all of the losses and more. I’ve done my homework and feel confident that it is a mathematical impossibility to lose money until after tax collection day. Therefore, there isn’t any cause for concern, only plots and schemes to take more money from short sellers.

Unbelievably, NFLX is about to break $200. Everyone counted them for dead, save Carl’d Icahn. Now Zombie NFLX has gone haywire on short sellers, eating their principal without pause.

One thing for you to acknowledge is this market is at new highs, despite AAPL being down 25% from its highs. This would’ve been unthinkable last year. Since 2009, every single crisis set bears up for a massive short squeeze. I see no reason to believe the crisis in AAPL won’t resolve itself, trapping all of the people who are shorting it now, as well as derivative plays CY, CRUS and ZAGG.

When APPL recovers, just like FB and NFLX, the nasdaq is going to rip higher, sending tech stocks to new, unbelievable, heights.

If you run a blog and want some honest, often brutal, feedback– what’s working (or not) about your style– post a link to your cesspool in the comments section.

Attention readers:

If you really, really like a new blog (or old one), post the link and I will be grading it shortly.

I’ve done this before and it was a lot of fun. I’m not doing this to simply make fun of my peers who write poorly, bad syntax and grammatical sins, but to expand my own library of links. Throughout the day I am too busy managing money and polishing these halls to notice any new bloggers out there.

Don’t be bashful. There’s a good chance I’ll be “hiring” a few new bloggers soon, so fire away.

In an effort to catch lightening in a bottle, I’ve been working–concocting almost–schemes to find laggards stocks in under owned industries, using screens inside of The PPT. It’s not so simple, as chaff regularly finds its way into the theatre–not so much different from some of my favorite broadway playhouses.

Without further delay, I’ve taken the liberties to post the chart of 15 laggards. Do with them as you like.

AAPL

ANV

BIDU

BV

EBR

EXK

FTE

IAG

MLNX

PBR

PVG

RATE

TGA

VMW

VXX

Are you a buyer of any of these names?

The market is never going down again. You can watch all you like, waiting for a pull back–but rest assured–it shall never happen. And more, you will dissolve into nothing–reduced to your beginning–a singular, fast swimming, sperm cell. Everyone is laughing at you for missing out on this this grandiloquent affair, even the men with tweed coats and monocles.

Your neighbours whisper secrets about you behind your back–because you’re stupid.

So many sectors did well today, especially large cap. Small capped stocks have broken out of their insane asylums and are now knifing their way higher.

Ten bucks says JMBA breaks $3.

My old man stocks are surging, especially PEP and KMB. This doesn’t have to be hard  and you do not need to be smart–just show up.

My play is Japan, asset managers and home construction. Your play might be marijuana, solar and chinese burrito stocks–THAT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE A GOD DAMNED VAGABOND without a home or purpose in life.

“The Fly” is self financing the first ever Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) to be used for offensive purposes, represented by the upper echelon civilian in the United States–an echelon that intends to vaporize whole cities by pressing a small, round, button.

Enough about me. What are you interested in financing (just kidding, I am not interested at all, not in the least).

For the day, I was down (0.22%). You  might be over there, smoking cancer from a menthol cigarette, wondering “how can a man, such as this Fly, speak to me in this bold manner whilst losing money?” The answer is simple: “The Fly” is in a constant state of winship. Therefore, down days are nothing more than vacations. Gratuitous loss of capital is good for my karmic balance. It helps to put things into perspective that when the wins re-accelerate to the upside, there can be nothing put in my path to derail or stop me from what is rightfully mine.

I dare you to try to take it from me.

I added to both my USG and BX positions.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you go hiking, you will fall off a mountain. And, you may lose money.

I sold out of more of my VHC position, so much so that it only represents 5% of my holdings. I’ve been fortunate to escape from it with a 15%+ profit, considering it’s an illiquid, trade by appointment, sort of name. There is nothing wrong about VHC, per se (less homo than Bo Jackson); I just need to climb the market cap ladder. That’s all.

Like other men possess an innate instinct to mine for gold bars or stick needles filled with opiates into their necks, “The Fly” endeavors to climb the market cap ladder to safety and  success.

With the proceeds, I’ve reduced my 140% long position to something slightly less than that. Do not fear, small plebeians from the intersphere, I shall reinvest the monies wisely and catapult myself to the +20% range in short order.

Your turgid style bores me and I’ve asked all of the Gods (the new and the old) to kill you where you stand.

May 10,000 bolts of lightening evaporate your well being into ashes and rapacious hurricane winds disperse them quickly–to steal away a proper burial for your family and loved ones.

So far, so good–my longs are up and my single short is lower. CCL is a broken company, not just a chart. They sell a luxury item that has been killing their customers or forcing them to defecate on themselves. I cannot think of a worse brand in America right now. Wait until the lawsuits hit and the crap swings around and hits them in the face.

The end result is very predictable. Their competitors will take away share, forcing CCL to lower margins–hence miss earnings.

I am short CCL until the stock hits$30.

GS is steadily progressing higher. I’m up nearly 20 points on the stock and have no intention on selling anytime soon.

My other top picks are USG, BX and MOS.

You might think I am joking when I say “forget about 2013”– but I’m not. Earnings multiples are never based upon current year estimates–but the future. We want to know what the S&P will earn in 2014, then extrapolate a reasonable and historically consistent PE ratio to derive targets. Already, analysts are looking ahead.

“Our baseline forecast remains unchanged — slow growth in most of 2013 as tax increases and government spending cuts offset the private sector improvement, followed by a substantial acceleration in 2014 as fiscal policy turns more neutral,” Hatzius wrote.
Source

That’s right pumpernickel faces–the economy is going to FARGIN’ (god help me) skyrocket in 2014, allowing us to rip out the entrails of our neighbors and festoon our fences with their guts.

This is how the market is going to play out, to the exact detail.

Feb- +1-3%

March- +0.5-1.5%

April- (-1-3%)

May (-2-5%)

June +3-6%

July +0.5-1.5%

August (-3-6%)

September (-3-6%)

October +4-8%

November +3-6%

December +1-3%

Volatility is the biggest loser and XIV will close out the year at new highs. Not all stocks will go up, as dislocations cause disruptions and that means earnings will be messy. But if you stick to names of a larger market cap nature that correlate well to the market, you will do fine.

According to the palm readers at Goldman, 2014 is the year we ramp. As far as I can tell, there are no grave risks to this rally. Some believe the sequester will cause stocks to trade down. I believe the only thing that puts this rally at risk is if “the Fed put” comes into question. That can happen if we get a new hawkish Fed Chairman, or if the unemployment rate approaches 6.5%. Bernanke said they’d consider removing excess liquidity should the unemployment picture firm up.

My biggest failures over the past two years, the only reasons why I made single digits and not 35%, is due to poor risk management. If I moved up the market cap ladder after making big returns, I would have made an additional 60% over the past two years. Therefore, if you see me selling low cap stocks, despite liking them, in favor for big cap–do not be surprised.

For the third year in a row, I am up huge (+15%) in the first two months of the year. Unlike the past when hubris controlled my compass, I endeavor to keep these gains by steadily moving up the market cap ladder, ignoring my inner Henry Fool–discarding him to the trash heap of society, melting his face off with a flame thrower.

We’re all looking for opportunities. Some of us are retarded, unable to decipher a good deal from a poisonous rat trap. Most of the people I know are illiterates when it comes to investing.  Sadly, these people manage your money. They read magazines and concoct ideas after absorbing hours of financial media, pawning off the ideas of others as their own.

If you’re unable to read, like most investors these days, and can only depend on the “streams” of others, or charts, take note of what I am about to teach you.

This isn’t rocket science and I am not the only one doing it. We are talking about short squeezes, measured using proprietary technical analysis–via algorithms, overlaid on top a few simple data points.

In this case, the most important data point is the amount of shares available in the float. Stocks with less than 20 million shares in the float and considered to be “casino stocks” in the sense that their beta or volatility is extreme, thanks to the inherent nature of so little shares available for daily trade. Conversely, large float stocks, like MSFT, DIS and INTC, move with much less vigor because of their diversified shareholder bases.

After float, I want stocks that have very strong technical readings (trending up) and more than 15% of their respective floats are sold short. In an up trending market, it’s very dangerous to be short low flow stocks. Very simple, if RBCN can attract some natural buyers, via analyst note or news event, the people who are sold short may join these natural buyers in buying back their shares, adding tinder to the low float, causing the share price to spike. It’s a matter of supply and demand in the most basic sense.

There is no guarantee that these stocks will continue upward. But they’re certainly worth keeping a close eye on, possibly buying a few with tight stops underneath.