The Russian Winter is Coming

Europe is going to be a block of ice inside of 6 months, deprived from valuable Russian natural gas–and for good reason. If the idiot Europeans were dumb enough to base their heat and productivity around ‘reliable’ Russian gas, then they deserve to get smacked with Jedi swords.

This is going to be a problem for markets, until people figure out that Russia can’t be stopped and the Ukraine is totally meaningless in the large and small scheme of things.

The reason why I placed 25% of my personal assets into TLT was because of this, coupled with that fact that european yields are at 200+ year lows (lolz).

The reason why I’ve focused my superior intellect on Chinese burrito and biotech names is because they’re immune to the caprices of the retarded west, as they are more fixed on becoming the #1 super power in the world and curing cancer, or at least delaying death.

The TLT trade has done exactly what I thought it would. My chinese burritos are performing exactly how I want them to. And, judging by the recent performance in my biotech/pharma holdings (GILD, JAZZ, ICPT, SGEN), I think they’re on the right path.

What else am I long?

YELP, N, AAPL, SLCA, STZ, MU, HCA, NUE, BID to name a few. So the next time you step to me asking “hey Fly, do you own anything that isn’t a chinese burrito?”, I’m gonna punch you in the face. How about that, pal? Would you like that?

I throw borscht into the faces of every single Russian reading this, including the ones who agree with me.

The wife asked for a road trip, so I gave her Fredericksberg. We’ll make our way down to the ultra-savage city of Richmond tomorrow, where we will make camp and cavort around Williamsburg for a little amusement park chicanery. Naturally my back is killing me, from a tedious 5 hour drive from up north. I didn’t have a chance to view the market, other than to see that IFON got axed off of good earnings and most of my stocks faired well.

Look, pal, I am long GILD, JAZZ, SGEN and a slew of other names from lower prices. The comments that I am forced to moderate on this famous blog makes me want to conduct ‘scalding water challenges’ on the likes of you–losers of the fifth degree.

Enough about you. Let’s talk about me. I need to get some protein into my system and perhaps a few glasses of red wine.

As for the markets: I am sure they will do just fine tomorrow. Per chance, have you taken a look at my largest personal position, TLT?

Indeud.

Who: The Option Addict aka Mr. #YOLO

What: You heard me. Don’t play stupid.

When: 8pm-9pm

Where: Twitter @TradingAddicts

Why: Because he’s on fire.

Be sure to hashtag #ASKOA for any questions that you might have for him.

Pandora Dan is getting his faced ripped off on national television, with his absurdly ridiculous bearish calls. Wall street 2.0 is back in the sewers and the market is at new highs. Everything is as it should be. Know your place. Play your role. Get out of my fucking way.

I made 0.8% today, led by TLT, JAZZ, ICPT, YELP, QIHU, PANW and SLCA–just to name a few.

Top picks: ZPIN, ZU and QIHU

I sold our of DSKY for a one week 14% gain. I was gonna roll the proceeds into one of my biotech stocks. After all, I am a doctor, god damn it. But instead, I decided to roll with The Option Addict’s recent pick ZU.

No one has been hotter, so I am going long, full tribal gear, readying to stab people with my elephant tusks.

You people have me all wrong. I am not here to make you feel better about your pathetic selves. I will not step on eggs to protect your fragile egos. WAKE UP SON, this isn’t fat boy camp and “The Fly” isn’t here to make friends.

See the market going up today, in all of its illustrious grandeur? I called it. Am I ashamed for calling it? Do I feel bad that I made more money today than you did for the entire past 12 months? Nope. Do you know why?

Because, as I type this, some asshole that I want to throw rocks at just made my annual take in one day.  Sure, I might want to throw rocks at him and curse him for being awesome; but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s awesome.

“The Fly” is awesome and you need to start acknowledging that. Do not compare yourselves to me. It isn’t fair. That’s like trying to compare an Impala to a Benz. Instead of trying to fix a Benz logo onto your Impala, why don’t you find a way to get a Benz instead?

My chinese stocks are shooting higher. My biotech plays, JAZZ, ICPT and SGEN, continue to gimp you fuckers out. I am in the midst of an epic turn around, one that scratches the small brains of the uninitiated. Stop asking me where my losses are year to date. I’ll update you when there is something worthy to talk about.

The market has been sloshing around for more than a month. I’ve always told you that earnings are an annoyance. It detracts from the fantasy and the realism of shitty earnings stifles rallies. Now that earnings are out of the way, this market is ready to bust loose, just like the gimp.

Sit back and enjoy (no homo).

All of you are liars, in one form or another. You might tell tales about your athletic years, wear clothing that masks your imperfections, or perhaps cheat on your wives because of your itsy bitsy brain. There is nothing that I loathe more than base instincts, especially when it’s coupled with ignorance. I am not a puritan and have lied myself, when the occasion called for it. But, generally speaking, I tell the truth because I am confident with who I am.

It takes a fundamental maturity to understand that our time is fleeting and it’s meaningless to aspire to a charlatan. True charlatans will take issue with that comment because of their skeptic driven insecurities, so be it.

Now some of you will never be happy with who you are. You might think it’s about the money, the weight, or the predicament you happen to be in; but the truth of the matter is you’re in a state of wanting. The raw data points to consumerism and it’s as old as time. People covet thy neighbors car, house and wives–like greedy little bastards stealing champagne bottles in the midst of a race driven riot.

We want to achieve success, don’t we? When I was starting out as a broker, I thought success was doing more than $10,000 per month in commissions. It was all the money in the world to me. I remember being able to take my wife and son to a greek diner, feeling grateful that I could afford anything on the value-driven menu. Today I view that as a practical joke. My food bills exceed 5k per month and I am not fat.

How does this pertain to investing?

People are greedy hogs. We’re getting better, compared to previous generations; but we’re still hogs.

This fucking market is going up because of greed. There’s nothing so spectacular about the fundamentals, especially earnings. Every time I look, some company is getting blown out because of their earnings shortfall. The one, singular, thing you can rely on is greed, both on the upside and the downside. There is a constant ebb and flow, a quiet orchestra of emotions playing in the background of the market, performed by a bunch of Eddie Barzoons.

People ask me “Fly, you’re a smart guy, why are you always bullish with all of the problems in the world?” My short answer is that I am a servant to fashion and right now it’s fashionable to be long stocks. I’m never interested in the low probability, black swan, trade–because that’s like trying to catch a comet by its tail.

As novice investors, persons of insignificant interest, you should be focused solely on what the people on this website are saying: nothing more or less. The fastest route to success is to emulate those who have paved that road before you.

After notching a 1.2% gain in yesterday’s trading session, I’ll take today’s minor pullback as a stepping stone towards magnanimity. Over the past three weeks, I’ve been building myself an ark, made from old chinese chopsticks and the skulls of former kings. I like to call this ark “The Burrito Basket” because it will be immune to the drunken caprices of typical American september–Neanderthal like– draw-downs. I’ve positioned myself, alongside a select group of sophisticated  investors (extra sales pitch) for great success in the orient.

“The Fly” is the Pai Mei of this stock shit.

Inside of my chinese basket of ancient knowledge are the following stocks. I’ve curated (Pearlman) them for extreme winship.

CMGE (new)

DSKY

VNET

ZPIN

XNET

QIHU

LITB

I will not add to this exquisite blend of market mastery without first taking profits from a listed member. The lot of you are more than welcomed to join me in this expedition, this African safari through the jungles of China (super stupid) towards the path of golden roses and euphoric climax (no pervert).

Another burrito added to the basket–for the win.

This is one of those rare moments when I have absolutely nothing to say to you. Sometimes I can just write all day, talk about utter nonsense, and entertain myself by insulting you. However, as of this moment, all that I can think about is fetching myself (extra butler) another cup of coffee. It’s like there’s heroin in it or something.

A few years ago I stopped drinking coffee in favor of Earl Grey’d tea. My rationale was coffee was the preferred beverage of homeless people and vagrants, worldwide. I found it to be a rather uncouth drink, one that fish hooked people in and dunked them like a glazed donut. I was not going to be part of that cabal and decided to quit. From that day on, I was coffee free and it lasted for two years. But like all junkies, fat people and the like, I fell off the wagon and have been drinking it ever since. The only difference, this go around, is that I take pride in the coffee that I make.

Back in the old days, I’d haphazardly toss a K-cup into my Keurig, and presto!, 3 seconds later I’d have a cup of Joe. But now, I am methodical about the coffee, like a crazed lunatic trying to paint the ceiling of a cathedral. I choose the finest beans, grind them up, and then carefully add water (just under boiling temperature) to my French Press, and then serve–extra black (Rick Ross Boss). I do not add any milk or sugar, because only idiots do that. On occasion, I will add milk foam and create what some of you lesser men might call a “latte”. But that’s about it and I don’t apologize for my habits.

Off to mainline some bean.