Mercy!

There is no navigating this market, unless of course you are long banana stocks–like CQB.

While some of you would like to blame “The Fly” for this heart attack tape, blame yourselves– fuck faces.

As you know, “The Fly” was programmed to be bullish on U.S. equities. This fucktarded, dickless tape has caused his software to malfunction, resulting in untimely purchases of retarded stocks.

All day, leadership names got lit on fire. Big losses were abundant in all of the material, energy and tech stocks.

Intra-day, stocks like HANS, VMW and GOOG were big time recipients of the “homo-hammer” of death.

Naturally, everyone is anticipating a bounce. Past short squeezes have made me hesitant to sell into this tape, much to my chagrin.

One thing is perfectly crystal clear: stocks are for asshats.

However, aside from managing “ridiculously ugly/busy websites,” it is my job to navigate this shit.

In short, work just got a whole lot tougher.

NOTE: CLX and other recession proof stocks keep marching higher.

NOTE II: We appear to be somewhat doomed.

NOTE III: If I hear “there are more shoes to drop” one more time, I will throw my fucking tv out the window.

Unfortunately, developing…

Trust me, being long RIMM, AAPL and other fun stocks, makes “The Fly” want to punch his trader/servant in the neck–a few dozen times.

However, understand what is going on, before making classic uneducated gambles.

Money managers are selling the high fliers, for a variety of reasons. You’ve got margin calls, redemption concerns and plain ol’ fashioned profit taking.

Understand something: your average money manager has the IQ of a small beetle. He knows nothing but price action, unable to decipher cheap from expensive, cool from Ducati.

Additionally, the hot tech money is finding a home in many beaten down sectors, especially retail.

The bottom line: should the nasdaq rally from here, do you really think it will leave RIMM, AAPL, GOOG, GRMN and VMW in the dust?

Exactly.

Right now, I am enjoying the bullish behavior of XFML, ahead of earnings tomorrow.

Also, assuming the oil fuckers rally again, UPL appears to be on sale.

Developing…

It looks like the “Chinese lotto fun” has been postponed, indefinitely.

Aside from the spastic dice rolls, quality names are getting lit up, like a synagogue in Baghdad.

Chinese stocks receiving the “homo-hammer” of death, include: CHCG, CHINA, JASO, FMCN, CN, SOLF, STP, CHL, CHU, CTRP, CSR, CHME, KUN, BIDU, SOHU, EFUT, EJ, GA, CTDC, FFHL, YTEC, ACH, AOB, PWRD, GLDN and LFT.

The whole lot of them.

If you didn’t know, you can profit from Chinese misery, via FXP (double inverse China short).

However, before doing that, the question you have to ask yourself is: “Am I feeling lucky, punk?”

My best guess, China misery will be short lived, especially if we rally today.

NOTE: If I wasn’t busy eating sandwiches, I might take a shot at FMCN, CN and LFT (again!), down at these levels.

UPDATE: Market tanking. Get back in the nuclear bomb shelter.

I must admit, being a full service type of guy, I despise those filthy hatfuckers at ETFC.

Sure, they’ll let you do cheap trades, until those assholes file bankruptcy–leaving your bullshit brokerage accounts in escrow.

Look you, if you are stupid enough to have 7 figures in an E-Trade account, I strongly suggest taking it out, just in case.

However, it’s worth noting, the stock may bounce from here–especially on a short squeeze.

As a result of ETFC‘s asshattery, SCHW and AMTD are picking up the pieces, via stellar price action. After all, should ETFC die, those fuckers benefit.

As of now, the rally is being led by airlines, homies, retail and trannies.

If I was going to throw dice at a sector, for a trade, I’d look to retail, ahead of “credit card season.”

Within the group, I like JCG, SKX, COH and JWN.

Also, as “fat fucker day” arrives (Thanks Giving), food and beverage stocks may run.

There, I like WBD, WFMI, KR and HANS on a pullback.

If you are looking to play the restaurant sector, BWLD and MSSR look cheap.

Finally, the tech sector is not doing too well, with BIDU, RIMM and GOOG  in the red. My guess, investors are selling expensive names and going bargain shopping, which ironically is creating a bargain in tech.

Right here, I like FMCN, RIMM, VMW and LFT.

However, it’s worth mentioning, “The Fly” will not buy anything today. I bought lots of shit last week, in the midst of the “inferno of fun.” For now, I’ll be waiting for a short killing rally, while eating this here bowl of oatmeal.

NOTE: Ever since that LFT (Longtop Financial) shit came public, the market has been in the shit box. An ominous name, indeed.

Is it any surprise?

As you know, we are due for some sort of space magic type bounce, considering the relentless selling of last week.

Also, the shorts are way over zealous, selling big banks below or near book value.

Again, with my money, I want to be long the banks for the upcoming short squeeze, which will be brutal.

Within my positions, the big stand out is HANS. That fucker has booked almost 10 points, since its earnings day massacre.

Considering the recent run, I don’t want to buy more HANS here. Wait for a dip.

My guess, the market sprints 2% today, effectively “de-balling” the jerk offs who shorted into Friday’s close.

On this bounce, CFC, BWLD, VMW,VMI, GRMN, and MVIS are worth a look.

Finally, my fucking “shotgun to the head pick,” VMI, is starting to piss me the fuck off, with its queer price action.

Don’t you fuckers know there isn’t going to be enough fresh water supplies to sustain the fucktarded population growth in the world, short term?

Milk the farmer. He has loads of money.

This site is not like other financial websites. So, if you came here for serious, bullshit commentary on the markets, please fuck off– and go for a swim in your local reservoir.

Look you, “The Fly” is an evolved version of you. Some might call him a “space alien magician” or “Human 2.0.” To simplify matters, just recognize the obvious: you’re here reading this shit, while I’m counting gold bricks or eating fantastically large bowls of oatmeal.

As you already know, this website will be sold for millions of euro’s (“The Fly” no longer accepts dollars)– down the road.

On my old blog, I interviewed numerous “weekend bloggers” and decided to “hire” the two who stood out most: Danny and Woodshedder.

Danny makes cool vids and Wood plays with charts and shit.

Enough about them.

Oh, before I forget, “Mr. Bilderberg” will be offering his idea’s, whenever his busy schedule permits. In short, Bilderberg makes “The Fly” uneasy, mainly due to his net worth being considerably higher– and is on the cusp of the Fortune 400 list. He also “controls” lots of important people.

He will remain anonymous, indefinitely. Fuck him.

Jeremy built this fucking site, by himself, from the dirty, filthy cellars of Yahoo hosting, to the wonderful palace called Webstrike Solutions (free plug). Let me just say, Jeremy is one heck of a programmer and will be spared, whenever “The Fly” decides to start having you fuckers arrested.

Finally, we have created “The Peanut Gallery.”

The Peanut Gallery is a place where anyone can apply to post their fucktarded thoughts and opinions on financial matters. Once approved, you will be free to post whenever you like.

However, it’s worth noting, should your syntax and content slip a bit, “The Fly” will set fire to you quicker than a blow torch in a Valero gas refinery.

 

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Come on, do I really have to explain why this man^ is an asshat? My man Howard has opined on the fucktard named “The Donald,” in prior posts. I’m sure he’d like to add another 2 cents.

Basically, “The Fly” believes no matter what happens for the remainder of 2007, no one will eclipse the level of “asshattery” Trump now embodies.

This man is a bankruptcy machine. Look at his new stock, TRMP. This thing is a fucking joke.

In short, Trump talks a very big game, but has a small wiener. Seriously, if Trump was within 50 yards of me, I’d have someone punch his eyebrows off. Plus anyway, his bullshit show, “The Apprentice,” is plain ole vanilla gay.

I’ll let the mob (you) fill in the rest.

 

Friday, August 17, 2007

This man just went on CNBC and declared “The Great Depression, part 2” is coming to America, with all its lovely trimmings, such as high unemployment, collapse of the U.S. dollar, banks going out of business and interest rates to 20%.

To make matters worse, he believes, despite the world’s largest market going offline and its people becoming “poor,” the rest of the world will get “rich.” Hence, he is buying foreign stocks.

Asshat.

Har, har, har. Robster too expensive.

As I watched CNBC’s “Fast Money” last night, I nearly choked on the potato chip I was eating, when Eric “the oil Barrel” Bolling recommended to his viewers to sell short GOOG— because he fucking dreamed it was down 70 points.

Asshat!

Come on. Upon hearing this “asshattery,” I knew GOOG would fucking ramp– immediately. Look at the stock, asshat, it’s up 9 bucks.

To make matters worse, “oil barrel” exclaimed: one of his buddies had a dream about GOOG being down big too. Which, in his head, fortified his newly founded bearish position on the stock.

I must say, of all the fucktarded things I’ve encountered on Wall Street, this tops them all.

This man must be eating hallucinatory mushrooms, prior to having such asshat dreams.

In short, making recommendation to millions of CNBC-tards, based upon a dream, gets an immediate “Emergency Asshat Award.”

Congrats.

UPDATE: GOOG now up $12.

UPDATE II: GOOG now up $14.

 

Friday, March 23, 2007

It was a close one, but Dennis gets the “Asshat Award.” On March 6th, 2007, while the market was on the decline, Dennis appeared on CNBC’s Fast Money and declared “we are in a global bear market.” He said a bunch of other crap about Gold too, but I was too busy eating a hamburger with pickles, at the time, to hear him clearly. You know, the pickles were snapping in my ears.

Anyway, now that the markets are back to ripping the throats out of the bear-fuckers, I’d thought it would make sense to give one of these “Asshat Awards” (I have to get these fucking things out the door) to a man who embarrassed himself, family and Eric “the oil barrel” Bolling (Eric invited Dennis to the show) by declaring the end of the global bull market, as we know it, because it was down a few percentage points from the top.

Asshat!

I am sure Dennis has other stuff going on, like news letters and accurate market calls, but I’m not interested. All that matters to me is his declarative statement “global bear market,” coupled with his fucktarded looking tie. In my opinion, both are unacceptable. Hence, the “Asshat Award.”

Watch recent video of Dennis look “Asshattish” as the market fucking rolls on him.