Now With Bitcoin Dead, Everyone Should Go Back into Gold

It was fun while it lasted. I’ll probably lose all of the money I tossed into cryptos soon and I am okay with that. It was fun, adventurous, but now it needs to end — for the good of humanity and banking.

With some of my cash, I bought NUGT. I’m thinking all of the HODLers will sell out of their ETH and BTC and roll into gold. Nah, just kidding. Those people don’t have the slightest idea how to buy gold, even if they wanted to.

I just like the chart. Gold has been trending higher for 6 month, slowly but surely — like a fucking turtle.

I’m in.

In the heat of the moment, I got myself into a bunch of bullshit stocks that have gone lower on me. I chose to cleave those positions this morning, exorcizing TZA, WATT, and SHLD from my portfolio of shit.

I haven’t mustered the gumption to replace them yet, but I am optimistic that the rally in stocks isn’t finished. However, aside from OSTK, the crypto proxy rally is on hold. Replacing it are biotech stocks, thanks to a few big deals this morning. I do not like chasing biotechs, so I won’t do anything there.

Sometimes the best trade is to do nothing, sort of sit around watching things. I wouldn’t consider myself to be a voyeur, but I am very inquisitive and always mindful of my surroundings. Right now the money is flowing into healthcare and basic materials. Since I have plenty of the latter, I’ll just wait around for those to shoot higher and maybe dedicate some time looking over a few thousand charts. God how I love gazing into charts and their trendlines, almost as much as I enjoy cranking my car in the morning cold, especially when it whipsaws back and breaks my arm.

Ladies and gentlemen,

It was fun and grande while it lasted — but all good things end and so will the wondrous world of crypto trading. Very soon, all of the financial illiterates trading in and out of shitcoins will be dispatched to the shitheap of time — an indecorous denizen befit for scoundrels and mountebanks. All of their plans for success and riches will make way for a miserable decline, a failure supported by and fueled by a credo that is just as ruinous as it is ridiculous.

HODL.

The mission statement for these upstarts is “HODL”, hold on for dear life. I am almost certain the large VCs who wanted to get liquid on the masses started this meme in order to keep the sheep corralled in a nice barn whilst they lit fire to it. It is the epitome of stupidity, holding onto a security just for the sake of doing so, ignoring all of the tenets of money management and fiduciary responsibilities.

One could argue the entire crypto currency asset class is one giant ruse, designed to “trick and trap” fiat haters, bankrupting them in the end. Sure, many have made fortunes long Bitcoin the past 3 years — but the vast majority of new money is invested at these levels and higher, HODLing with every inch of their existence, eagerly awaiting new riches to befall them.

I have news for you HODLers out there: you’d be better served to HODL your testicles than any of those cryptos right now — for they’re in heart attack drop mode and there’s nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to start ranting about how wonderful it’d be to have the government shut down permanently. There’s only so far a glib joke can go and I know we need those absolute shitheads for a number of reasons. However, it would be nice to see this shut down last a bit longer — just to see all of them sweat. Right now they think it’s cute in a ‘ha, ha, we shall stick it to the Donald’ sort of way. But they haven’t though it all the way through, considering the fact that the Donald truly doesn’t give a shit and is only in it for the ratings. Next thing you know, people in wheeled chairs are being kicked down sewer pipes, summarily eaten by alligators and the lights in DC turn off during the State of the Union, whilst Trump continues his wonderful speech with a singular candle lit underneath this chin — scaring the fuck out of America — causing scores of old fuckers into cardiac arrest heading straight for the mortuary.

Dow futures are down 70 and markets look just fine — like they’re gonna kick some people in the balls type of fine. Bitcoin is at $11,200 and struggling to stay above water. It won’t be long now until we see the complete and total annihilation of the dick HODLer’s en masse.

Here’s some other news to start off your meaningless days.

Juniper Networks upgraded to Outperform from Perform at Oppenheimer
Freeport-McMoRan downgraded to Neutral from Outperformer at CIBC
Esperion Therapeutics downgraded to Neutral from Buy at Citigroup
Apple downgraded to Neutral from Overweight at Atlantic Equities
Juno Therapeutics to be acquired by Celgene (CELG) for $87/share in cash, or approximately $9 bln
ServiceNow target raised to $160 at Mizuho
Lennar upgraded to Outperform from Neutral at Credit Suisse

Living just 40 minutes from Philadelphia was a culture shock for me when I first moved here. All of the locals are Philly fans, teams that, as a New Yorker, I’ve always deemed to be evil. As the years went on, I began tolerating them and now even root for the Eagles. Let’s make one thing abundantly clear, I do not bother to sit down and physically watch fools ball games — for I am too busy for that. I merely listen to the scores when they’re announced on the radio, on my preferred classical music station, and offer a slight, but generous, nod, spiritually congratulating them on continued success.

Moving on, cryptos are getting murdered again and I truly hope this is the end of the investment class. While it’s true, I own some shitcoins and truly enjoy trading them. However, they’re a blight on my mode of living. I cannot keep trading 23 hrs per day and expect to enjoy my winnings, to any large degree. Once the cryptos have been wiped out and all of the little traders disintegrated into dust, the world will be a better place.

Dow futures are off by 53 and oil is flat. The government has shut down and Tom Brady is still the best quarterback to have ever donned a fools ball jersey.

The government is now shutdown — thank heavens. If you’re even remotely interested in DC politics at this stage of the comedic narrative, you missed the joke and are now wasting time. If markets pullback due to a government shutdown, which should temporarily hit GDP, buy that deep with all of your might — because it will be worthwhile.

In the meantime, I wanted to review my crypto-proxy trading over the past month and change. I challenge any of you midgets to dig deep into your archives and try to come up with anything remotely close to this magnificent display of stock’d market superiority.

All of these trades are posted in real time in Exodus and emailed out to subscribers who opt for the service.

bot GCAP @$8.33 on 11/27/17
sold GCAP @7.27 on 12/22/17
-12.72%

bot MARA @$4.80 on 12/11/17
sold MARA @$5.78 on 12/15/17
+20.4%

bot GROW @$4.79 on 12/11/17
sold GROW @$5.92 on 12/14/17
+23.6%

bot XNET @$14.71 on 12/11/17
sold XNET @$17.40 on 12/14/17
+18.3%

bot PYDS @$2.85 on 12/12/17
bot PYDS @$3.15 on 12/20/17
sold PYDS @$2.50 on 12/22/17
-16.6%

bot SIEB @$11.16 on 12/15/17
sold SIEB @$17.01 on 12/18/17
+52.5%

bot LFIN @11.75 on 12/15/17
sold LFIN @18 on 12/15/17
+53.2%

bot TEUM @$0.79 on 12/15/17
sold TEUM @$1.35 on 12/18/17
+71%

bot NXTD @$1.74 on 12/18/17
sold NXTD @$7.70 on 12/21/17
+343%

bot GSUM @$9.09 on 12/20/17
bot GSUM @9.39 on 12/21/17
sold GSUM @$11.25 on 1/10/18
+21.6%

bot QIWI @$14.45 on 12/20/17
sold QIWI @$14.22 on 12/22/17
-1.5%

bot FH @$1.57 on 12/21/17
sold FH @1.23 on 12/22/17
-21%

bot XNET @$13.89 on 12/26/17
sold XNET @$16.36 on 1/2/18
+17.8%

bot MARA @$4.61 on 12/26/17
sold MARA @$4.17 on 12/29/17
-9.5%

bot CNIT @$1.72 on 1/4/18
sold CNIT @$3.27 1/5/18
+90.1%

bot CCIH @$2.03 on 1/4/18
sold CCIH $2.96 on 1/5/18
+46%

bot IZEA @$4.85 on 1/4/18
sold IZEA @7.63 on 1/16/18
+57.3%

bot RCON @$1.55 on 1/4/18
sold RCON @$1.71 on 1/12/18
+10.3%

bot NCTY @0.81 on 1/5/18
sold NCTY @$1.40 on 1/16/18
+73%

bot KBSF @$4.40 on 1/5/18
Open position

bot INPX @0.22 on 1/9/18
sold INPX @0.30 on 1/10/18
+36.3%

bot NETE @12.24 on 1/9/18
sold NETE @$10.60 on 1/16/18
-20%

bot DPW @$2.24 on 1/10/18
sold DPW @$3.06 on 1/10/18
+36.6%

bot NXTD @$3.32 on 1/10/18
sold NXTD @$2.55 on 1/16/18
-23%

bot SRAX @$5.63 on 1/5/18
sold SRAX @$5.64 on 1/16/18
+0.1%

bot RMGN @$1.00 on 1/10/18
sold RMGN @2.21 on 1/11/18
+120%

bot CNIT @$2.78 on 1/11/18
sold CNIT @$2.68 on 1/18/18
-3.5%

bot XNET @$15.74 on 1/17/18
sold XNET @$17.03 on 1/18/18
+8.2%

bot OSTK @$69.55 on 1/17/18
sold OSTK @$77.69 on 1/18/18
+11.7%

bot PPDF @$7.08 on 1/18/18
Open position

bot CNET @$4.48 on 1/18/18
Open positon

bot AMCN @$1.29 on 1/16/18
Open position

bot LEDS @$4.38 on 1/17/18
Open position

This is, by far, the most prolific I’ve been since early 2010s. I got a lotta more for you — completely and thoroughly tuned in. The Pelican Room inside Exodus is the most busy it has ever been, with hundreds of messages and trades posted per day — maybe thousands. Our servers are taxed to the max — forcing me to seek help to repair the fuckery that is our server set up. Join us, especially if you’ve got something to contribute.

Good news fuckers, the S&P 500 is ‘overbought.’ Based upon the laws of mathematics dictated by Exodus, that means we’re heading, the fuck, higher.

View the math.

Time to get back to trading cryptos. I now trade 23 hours per day and leave 1 hour for sleep and light reading. I am presently reading A Farewell to Arms — a fine story about a loafer getting blown to smithereens in WW1.

None of my positions did particularly well today, a rather glum and moribund existence for me in equities, which is why I am intent on making it all up in shitcoins.

I am very b00lish on STORJ.

Ciao.

The purpose of a hedge is to limit downside, not so much make net gains. The problem with hedges, especially if you’re in stocks that have a negative correlation to the market is you might lose in the hedge and the stocks — because your portfolio is nothing more than a subhuman piece of shit small cap train wreck.

I bought TZA, nonetheless, in spite of the fact that my discretionary holdings are of a wanton perfidious varietal.

God willing, the government will shut down and never open again. We’ll toss it onto the blockchain and live happily ever after.

God knows how this shit is supposed to work. The lads from WATT have some sort of tech that will charge your devices without wires. I am certain this will be a great boon for the brain cancer folks in the biotech world.

In the interim, I bought a little here, with a mental stop at $18.

While this might not produce 500% returns, like some of the crypto related plays, this might entertain me a little while I wait for one to materialize.

I’m not expecting much action today, due to government shut down fuckery. I took this opportunity to cleave some positions that weren’t working, such as BBG, SND, and XON. I haven’t done anything with the proceeds and might decide to leave it in cash over the weekend.

The major cryptos are slumbering, but the alt-coins are shooting higher. Right now, all I like are storage related coins. I like them, not because it’s all I know, but because it’s all I want to buy now. My favorite is STORJ.

I’m actively scouting for some new idea — perhaps a quick trade before the day is over.

More on that later.