WEAPONIZED AUTISM

An unusal man on 3555 Farnam St. in Omaha, Nebraska bought an astounding 75 million shares of Apple this past quarter for a small sum of $13 billion. His entire position in Apple is now worth more than $42 billion — because he likes the company and has nothing else to do with his large cash hoard.

“It is an unbelievable company,” Buffett says. “If you look at Apple, I think it earns almost twice as much as the second most profitable company in the United States.”

Warren Buffet has more than $116 billion in cash at Berkshire, an amount so fucking autistic it’s hard to put it into perspective, especially when considering he has another ~$25b in WFC, $20b in BAC, $18b in KHC, $17b in KO, $15b in AXP, $10b in PSX and much, much more.

It’s hard to hate on olde man Warren. He still lives in his piece of shit house back in Omaha and eats a fuckload of junk food on a regular basis. He must be eating children in his basement at night — because anyone else would be dead drinking all of those cherried fucking cokes.

No one will ever replicate what Buffett did. No matter how hard you try or really want to do it — it’ll never happen. Anyone trying to be the next Warren should instantly kill themselves and do all of us a favor from having to cringe so hard at the prospect of another person thinking they could amass this level of wealth from merely investing in household names.

While it’s true, Warren got involved in brand names at exactly the right time in America, post WW2, and then rode the wave like a fucking champion for the next 70 years — it’s also a fact that no one else has ever done it like Warren, which makes him profoundly unique. Obviously, nothing of what I just said it remotely intuitive or interesting, just a random observation as I look at Buffett’s picture. He’s awfully robotic in his mannerisms. I would not be surprised to learn he’s the Oracle of Omaha, like literally, and is in charge of the simulation we’re all part of.

Like Buffett, I too bought my first stock at the age of 11; but unlike Buffett, I’ve been bedraggled by a sundry of fucked up markets and personality disorders that have stopped me from achieving a net worth of $75 billion. Tits to dicks, we all want a piece of the Buffett pie. It probably tastes delicious and is what the American appled pie is made from. But we’re never going to truly have it. We can only gaze at it and relish in its sweet aromas. The second we angle ourselves sideways and go in for a slice, an angry factory blade will lob our arm clean off our torso.

‘Tis is life.

Markets have purged some of the excessive downside action today. There is nothing, at all, to celebrate — unless of course you believe a flat market is something to behold.

When I penned my morning post the market was down 350. I was kicking men out from their wheeled chairs and into the gutter. I sashayed to the gym, took a little sun by the pool, and then watched the market melt higher. I said to myself ‘this is a good thing’ since it’ll lure many of you into a false sense of security. You’re now out in the streets naked, preparing to be run over by giant lawnmowers.

However, the Trump delegation is en route to China now to discuss trade. I suspect the pin action on those talks will be bullish. Because of this fact, I sold out of my LABD for a 2.5 point gain and segued those funds into YINN — big dicked upside China ETF. I remain, inexorably, long SOXS — because I feel it’s important to wear SOXS whilst running.

All of this equity business is pure garbage, when compared to what I have going on in the cryptos. If you were wise, which you are not, you’d buy some STORJ and ENG.

In short, today’s victory for the bulls is tomorrow’s defeat. You’re weak now, degenerated by perversion. “The Fly” is gaining speed and strength, lifting heavy things again, consuming large quantities of protein. It won’t be long now before you’re lying on the floor, bleeding out from a broken jaw and clavicle — broken by the floods.

Time for me to run along now. My hard boiled eggs are ready for consumption.

I warned you to ‘clean your room and to put on your SOXS‘ — but you chose not to get involved. I had a vision of spastic retards prancing about the green fields of Wall, only to succumb to a most egregiously large TSAR BOMBA death device.

The time for half measures and soft words are over.

GET THE FUCK OUT; PUT ON YOUR SOXS.

If you do not want to bet against the semis, then bet against the bioFAGS. To do that, go see about LABD. I own it too.

The only other avenue of salvage is TLT — because rates will sink. If rates sink, then REITs will go higher. To play that, buy DRN. I own that too.

It’s important for you to be reminded of the evergreen spirit that built this blog from the SHITHOLE it was into the palatial confines it is now: “The Fly” wins all the time, even when it appears he’s losing badly. Many bloggers will run thru these halls, like a sickness in July, but very few will stand the test of time. The pressure is too great and the burden wearisome. After everything is reduced to ash, and the world is a smoldering cauldron of nothingness, Le Fly, as he’s popularly known in France, will remain here, steadfastly blogging into the hot summer nights — shitposting and chuckling until the world as we know it ceases to exists.

For that my friends, you are welcome.

Top picks: SOXS, LABD, OSTK, SHITCOINS.

A few weeks ago, CNBC reported on Elon Musk sleeping on Tesla’s factory floor, trying to meet deadlines for Tesla auto production. Last night, apparently, his sleep deprivation turned him into a despondant retard, flippantly ignoring analyst questions and hanging up on what he considering ‘boring butthead questions.”

Here’s the money shot.

Batshit Elon Musk melts down on conference call last night — hanging up on boring analysts, refusing to answer "dry" questions. $TSLA pic.twitter.com/EnyrSf7myF

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) May 3, 2018

And here’s some greater depth into last night’s call, starting with Goldman and Morgan.

Good evening

I had a most eventful day, perusing the new gym, starving myself of sustenance in order to achieve peak male fitness. I’ve been at the gym for the better part of the past 6 years, but have slacked the past year or two, not really being serious about dieting or fitness discipline.

All of that has changed today, this being the beginning of May — the month of my birth and beginning of warmer climes. The grams of creatine are being generously absorbed. Protein and animal fat are being consumed. A heuristic journey of peak physical fitness has begun at House Fly, which will end in a massive punch to the nostrils of my most hated enemy.

The gypsy siren is screaming this evening, and I hope you could see to it to unmoor yourselves from your pornography, for a great black tornado is whirring towards your house. Stocks are going to get de-cocked, in ravenous form, and with it your liquid assets.

Meanwhile, cryptos are edge lording higher — exhibiting an air of invincibility in the face of a Tommy Rotted tape.

Top picks: STORJ, ELF, INS, ENG, SOXS, LABD, OSTK, SSC.

Sleep tight. Back to drinking a most disgusting brand of plant protein, a leftover from my vegan days. This shit should be banned in all 50 states.

The black flag is now permanently hoisted on the mast of iBC, designed to instill fear into the manlets and numales who stumble upon this holy site. If you’re eating an avocado toast, and swishing it down with a craft ale, and posses a fairly thick set of spectacles and beard, you might be visiting the wrong site. This site here is designed for men who smoke cigars, eat 2 1/2 inch ribbed eyes, and guzzles large quantities of whiskey — because it’s the only thing on earth that can keep us from killing thy neighbor.

If you are, in fact, a 99% dark chocolate eating faggot, do not fear — all hope is not lost. “The Fly” is fully equipped and can restore you to whatever glory you might’ve be capable of, before you lost the culture wars. It’s worth noting, this does not include Canadians and British fish and chips eating red coats — for all hope is lost in those parts of the world.

Markets Mcplunged lower today and I am long SOXS, LABD, SSC, and OSTK. Check my fucking resume, as I bowl on your pinheads with violent vigor.

“Oh Fly, please tell me, what is the Black Flag and what does it mean?”

Observe.

I like your zeal. Now get out there and put your SOXS on and quit being a victim of circumcision.

Ticker symbol is IMTE, typically trades ~400 shares per day. But today is lit AF, trading millions, going up in all sort of manners.

Stock closed under 2 bucks yesterday, but printed $40 today — totally normal pin action.

Is there news on this shit? No idea and I don’t care. They do 3d printing, but they don’t really do anything. There’s 237,000 in the float — a clown show mafia scam stock. I do hope, however, that certain penny stock newsletter short sellers get caught up in this shit and sent directly to the funeral parlor in a short squeeze for the cemetery.

Total douchebags refer to their stocks in navigational terms. I find this blog to be a pressure point by which I am able to annoy vast amounts of people. As a young lad growing up in Brooklyn, I was a trouble maker — a real shit storm of calamity. Nothing has changed.

If you’re too much of a nance to open up a binance account and buy shitcoins, owning OSTK is the next best thing.

Look at me and listen to me now: OSTK is angling sideways towards a vertical move higher.

If you like money, you’d own it.

Fuck Wayfair.

Today is my first day of cutting, and attending the new gym. To reduce my body fat to a level that is both honorable and aesthetically pleasing, I’ll need to cut down about 12 lbs — which, inadvertently, will make me look like I’m on chemo. That last time I did this, got down to the low 150s, my wife’s friends asked if I had cancer.

“Hey is Fly all right — he really looks dreadful you know.”

Then I got to bulking, eating peanut buttered sandwiches and large canteens filled with whey protein, and they all shut the fuck up before long. Anyone with experience at the gym will know that cutting, although tiresome and taxing, is preferable to bulking. Eating a bunch of food, good food, isn’t as easy as it sounds. To meet my goals, -12lbs in 3 months, I’ll need to reduce my caloric intake to about 2,100 calories per day. When bulking, I’ll be eating 3,200 per day.

Speaking of fat fuck, it appears Nasdaq futures have firmed from last night’s spate of weakness and are now +26. Also, cryptos are up. Also, gold and oil are up.

We made a new Facebook page. Please like it.

We also made a new Instagram page. Follow that shit too.

I have an Instagram page, but I don’t use it anymore. It’s pretty stupid having an Instagram page when you’re anonymous. What am I supposed to do — post pictures of my fucking meals or selfies of myself clad with a fucking iron mask? I don’t have time for that sort of shit. The new pages will be used, at some point, for corporate advertising — in a wasteful attempt to indoctrinate others to our form of propaganda.

Apple is +4.5%, Snap is -17%, and GILD is off by 6%. That’ll teach them for curing hep c.

As you read this, Nasdaq futures are barely up 19, a pathetic showing considering the world’s largest tech company just reported blow out numbers. This can only mean one thing, obviously.

The Black Flag.

via GIPHY

Many of you were celebrating after the market close. I know this because I have access to your household and laptop cameras. All of that will be for naught, when futures plunge before the market opens — sending you and your family into the homeless shelter armed with a tinned cup.

Le Fly is the opposite of Sir Kanye West — sending all of you bad energy and extreme hate via these internets.

My mood is in sync with my positions. I merely want to exit SOXS and LABD with profit, in order to take said profit and use it for malevolent means.

In other news, Blahfold Drumpfkin might catch a Mueller subpoena soon.