Morning Poppers (The Warriors Did It Edition)

What’s a man to think when he sees Ethereum up by 8% and Bitcoins down 3.5%? Am I supposed to go check the Reddit forums for news, or perhaps should I venture off to Github? I bet there’s some really hot white paper out there — some hot shot ICO about to come public — maybe a shoe shine store in Bushwick or a distillery in Queens? Whatever it is, I bet it’s gonna be great.

The Eurotrash are higher by 0.2% and copper is up 1%. That’s right ladies and germs, China is on fucking fire again. Get your copper here, while it’s fresh and hot, right out of the oven.

Bond yields are creeping higher and Dow futures are +63, while the snazzy nazzy up just 5.

Here are some meaningful headlines.

Biogen beats by $0.58, beats on revs
Fiat Chrysler beats by $0.08, misses on revs; reaffirms FY17 revs guidance
United Tech beats by $0.04, reports revs in-line; raises FY17 guidance

When the dust settles and all that could be said about the annihilation of the nascent asset class of cryptos, these stocks will measurably outperform, with the elegance of a splendid fall time New York City charitable ball, attended by gents in tuxedos and ladies draped in diamonds, swimming in perfume.

As the symphony plays and the genteel drift with dignity across the ballroom floor, the Bitcoiners will be crying inside of their showers, cowering whilst their pajama clad, beak nosed, wives hammer on the door for an explanation as to why their entire nest egg had been wiped out in digital currencies.

Little Johnny will have to attend state college and forget about lodging at an out of state Ivy, since all the money had been washed away in great fall of Bitcoin, the revenge of the Federal Reserve edition.

After a long night of drinking and dancing, the fine people at the NYC Fall time Charitable Ball will roll out of their beds, saunter into kitchens flooded with the warm yellow glow of the morning sun, and drink a wonderful cup of hot coffee. Bedecked in nighttime robes, they’ll open up their morning edition of the NY Times and see the following stocks, all higher, some with vigor, others faintly — and smile with comfort at the smeared ink and then take another sip of their wonderful coffee.

It was a nice run folks. The evergreen feeling of invincibility was shattered during today’s session, as the tech heavy Nasdaq bled out by 35 (as of 3:35p). You’d be interested to know the tech sector now makes up 25% of the entire market cap in the market, valued at $10 trillion.

Perusing over my self made indices, old man stocks were immune to the sell off — thanks to gains in KR, NKE, JNJ and ED. This was a very typical risk off day — stocks down and TLT/GLD up. Not much to discuss there.

My quant related trades, designed to chase alpha and follow trends, only shed 0.10% and was higher most of the day. On the other hand, my discretionary trades caught the wind cock in a lightening storm treatment. Outrageous losses were endured in HMNY and OSTK, hedged only by gains in XXII and COHR. My median losses were -1.3% in that account today. The fucking Moviepass idea isn’t something that I’m obsessing over and won’t sell it because it’s down. It is my lotto ticket. I will, however, blow the fuck out of this son of mother’s whore OSTK if the Bitcoin markets don’t recover soon.

God knows that I want nothing more than to enjoy my life, one that has been enjoyed with extreme leisure, while all of the Bitcoiners suffer in the fires of perdition. This version of reality is foreboding and awfully downcast for me. Stocks have played second fiddle to the garrulous shit-talkers in the cryptos for too long and I’d like nothing more than stark and grim conclusions in the blockchain soon. I’ve never come across a more ignorant group of idiots than the bitcoiners, and I was a very active and aspirational dot com trader back in the bubble days. Everyone loved trading the dot coms — but at least we knew the gains were on lease and would eventually be revoked. These cocksuckers believe bitcoin will trade to a million. I hate them and wish they’d stop talking.

My day has only just begun. I have lots of things planned, none of which includes some dirty martinis. Instead, “The Fly” must toil about the Princeton area and after he’s done toiler, he’s gonna toil some more.

It will fucking ‘implode one day’, said the heavily eye-browed young Prince from Middle Earth.

You’d be wise to heed is warnings. Sell now, else die later.

YOU'RE FINISHED BITCOINERS. Here's Prince Alwaleed communicating through morse code using his eyebrows to finally finish off #BTC. WATCH pic.twitter.com/1jfQfaoAIW

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) October 23, 2017

My first employment at a brokerage firm, which I’ll touch upon in part 2 of my book series, was an offshoot of the Wolf of Wall Street’s boiler room, Stratton Oakmont. I didn’t know it was a boiler room at the time and never pitched stock there, since I was an unlicensed cold caller, but it was the most professional and skilled sales force I’ve ever seen in my life. Those guys could sell steaks to a vegan.

Here’s the former Wolf, turned “motivational speaker” calling out ICO’s for what they are: scams.

Belfort, who spent 22 months in jail after pleading guilty to securities fraud and money laundering, said while most investors probably did not have bad intentions with ICOs, it would only take a small proportion of people trying to scam the others for it to become a “disaster”.

“It is the biggest scam ever, such a huge gigantic scam that’s going to blow up in so many people’s faces. It’s far worse than anything I was ever doing,” Belfort told the Financial Times.

How will you recover?

Pro-tip, you won’t.

Related: VERI

Unfortunately, Jeff isn’t able to do the Boot Camp this week and we might need to cancel altogether. It wasn’t supposed to be this delayed and we certainly didn’t want to cancel it after collecting fees. Nonetheless, if Jeff decides he’s unable to do it, I’ll be sending out refunds this week. Stay tuned for a final decision later on today.

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Eurostoxx are higher by 0.5%, sans the communists in Spain. They deserve to be down and are, to the tune of 0.3%.

Bitcoin is lower by 2% to $5,875 after hitting a record high of $6,100. Notice how the price is quoted in actual dollars and for you GIGANTIC FAGGOTS to do anything with the winners, you first need to convert back to dollars? Isn’t that special? (extra Church Lady)

Nasdaq futs are +12 and NVDA’s price target has been upped to $230 from $180 at Jefferies.

There’s really nothing for you good people to worry about. Isn’t life grande? Go out and enjoy your Halloween costume parties under heavy influence of narcotics. Be sure to wear that gorilla outfit proudly, whilst dancing like an invalid until you pass out from dehydration.

There’s plenty of work to be done and wars to win, enemies to maim and kill.

Bloomberg is reporting CSCO is close to buying out the cloudfags at BSFT. The details of the detail are incredibly cryptic, likely the result of some leak by some investment banker, trying to expedite the deal. These leaks are often correct and I suspect it will get done. My main question is, what will the premium be?

The stock is up 31% for the year, with a market cap of $1.7 billion. With a price/sales of 4.7x, anything more than a 25% premium to Friday’s close should light a fire under communication and software stocks, like CTXS.

This is on par with saying “Canada sure looks great. Will be spending more time here now that #maga.

Wholly unprofessional and a slap across the faces of millions of pasty Britains. We get it, Lloyd, you don’t like democracy and it angers you to see Britain choose Brexit over Bremain. But no one gives a shit about your feelings.

Enjoy Frankfurt you GIGANTIC FAGGOT.

Just left Frankfurt. Great meetings, great weather, really enjoyed it. Good, because I'll be spending a lot more time there. #Brexit

— Lloyd Blankfein (@lloydblankfein) October 19, 2017

The most amusing part of the ~500% Bitcoin gain in 2017 is the comments about how cheap it is now, mostly stated by late comers and fan boys who really do not know anything about the psychology of investing, let alone the financial dynamics of it.

Ethereum, which the entire ICO market runs on, is now trading at ~$300, up from $8 in the beginning of the year. Any untoward comments about the validity of these moronic upside moves is immediately met with feverish opposition, accusing cynics of being ‘old’ or simply ‘bitter’ for ‘missing out’ on such a fantastic run. While there is certainly an element of hoping that all Bitcoiners should perish in the fires of their own hubris, trapped in cars being crashed by giant anvils, I really do not wish anyone to lose money — especially young speculators trying to improve their lives through investing. Hating on a 20 something for wanting more is like hating against myself twenty years ago — wholly ridiculous. I was awesome then — you have no idea.

Most of the people who are in cryptos, for some reason, believe they’re rebelling against central banks and showing the man how little they give a fuck about his fiat. Meanwhile, back on planet earth, the entire crypto-market is sponsored and promoted by venture capitalists, devils who got in during the 2013 correction and pyramid-schemed these retarded instruments ever since. Aside from the fact that cryptos are entirely jimmy-rigged by asshole VCs, they’re also vehicles for money laundering and all sorts of fun criminal activity. The transfer aspect of bitcoin, coupled with its liquidity, is why the value is surging.

But what about the MUH blockchain?

Well, what about cash?

Why would anyone want every single thing they do documented on a digital exchange? Talk about a big brother Trojan horse. You fuckers are willingly jumping into a network that is going to track everything that you do, under the alleged auspices of privacy.

But that’s neither here or there.

This is your 31st reminder, with the previous 30 being all wrong, that someday soon Bitcoin is going to crash and you’re going to lose all of your money stuck in ICO ‘fagboxes.’

Instead of watching everyone else get high, floating around Main Street stoned, I decided to borrow a hypodermic needle and inject some pure opium into my muscular arms. Gone are the days of Fly shitting on the blockchain, chalking it up to ‘nothing more or less than a red faced scam, purported by fuckbags for the purposes of getting liquid.’

Instead of fighting this “trend”, I am joining you and I am now one of you — both an entrepreneur and a wastrel. I cannot lose.

I bought the shares of consummate crybaby, Patrick Byrne, aka Overstock.com — because of their exposure to the MUH blockchain.

“It is encouraging to see legacy financial services acknowledging the potential of the blockchain to disrupt and transform the financial services industry,” Forte said. “This is adding further fuel to the Overstock fire as investors [see the company’s] early stage investments in blockchain.”

Over the last three years, Overstock’s CEO Patrick Byrne has quietly developed a blockchain-focused division of the company called Medici Ventures. The unit’s majority-owned subsidiary tZero has emerged as a front-runner in applying blockchain technology to trading stocks and digital coins.

Long-time short seller Marc Cohodes first heard about Overstock’s blockchain investments in May. He then visited Byrne in June, the first money manager to do so in a decade. The meeting turned Cohodes into a buyer of the stock.

“You’re not paying anything for blockchain and you’re getting retail at a steep discount,” the independent investor said in a phone interview last week. “I think the stock’s going to go to $100,” or 230 percent above Monday’s close.

I stepped in and made my first investment in the MUH blockchain, buying $OSTK. Live shot of me buying it. pic.twitter.com/8jcAljpXew

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) October 20, 2017

Pray tell me, with this sort of logic and facts, how can I lose?

Friday bonus. A very rough raft of one section of Chapter 2 of BUST, part 2 of 3 of my series documenting the dot com boom and bust.