HELLO MARGIN CALLS

Oil is careening lower, down almost $2 to $64ish. Gold is down 2.3% and silver is off by an ass-raping 5%. Prepare to be debacled tomorrow, amidst a fantastic commodity driven liquidation. The vision of the great JP Morgan has come to fruition and silver is going to lead the way to hades.

S&P futures are off by 6.5, a very modest, almost laughable exhibition in trickery, one that you will wish you had starting with tomorrow’s opening tick.

Everything is going to be pillaged, men will be ruined, and Goldman Sachs will make several billion off their shorts.

Friday’s ridiculous liquidation in the commodity sector was merely an appetizer, an Hors d’oeuvres, compared to what’s coming tomorrow.

If, by chance, you own an oil stock, or god forbid a silver stock, pre-empt your wives now and file for divorce. If you file ahead of her, with cause, the judge might offer leniency in his alimony appropriations.

Some of you younger types, “the punks” as I like to call you, think this is some sort of joke. You believe yourselves to be invincible and will simply walk into tomorrow’s blood bath, fully protected by your egos and your cheap suits. Listen to me: fear the tape. Run from it now, while you have the chance. You can do anything with your lives: become a garbage man, a lawyer or even a pharmacist. Leave this wretched business of speculation to hardened, jaded types, persons such as myself.

The Bakken is finished and Russia is next.

The big hatted Texans and oil sheiks in the middle east are defecating all over themselves this weekend, as the bottom drops out of their stupid commodity. If we didn’t own any oil stocks, we’d all hate oil, no?

Personally,  and I can say this without reservation, I’d sacrifice 5% of my portfolio, in order to completely bankrupt those scoundrels,  bedeviled self-imposed gate keepers of capitalism. I understand that the drop in commodities goes against everything you hold dear. You felt rather emphatic about inflation and the subsequent destruction of the dollar. I told you from the get go, this was wrong and inflation is nonexistent. Just because the Fed is creating a trillion dollars inside of a walled fortress, that doesn’t mean the plebs on the outside get to benefit.

Dig it?

The more I think about the oil storm to come, the more I fear it. These companies are fucking levered to the hilt and represent a large contingent of our market, similar to the banks in ’08. I doubt there will be much systemic contagion, since bond holders will most likely be made whole and equity holders caught fondling themselves. Nonetheless, as the price of crude falls, there will be repercussions, bank on that.

The good news is oil and gas stocks have 100’s of billions in cash reserves. The bad news is they have 100’s of billions in debt, based upon metrics that depend on expensive crude. Expect credit downgrades and frenzied capital raises, if the price falls into the $50’s.

Once you dig through the rubble, you will find companies who saw this coming and prepared for it. For example, FANG went from 4% to 56% hedged through 2015, executing this last month. On the other hand, CLR removed all hedges and now are completely exposed to fuckery on a grande scale.

In other news, retail sales will do just fine; ignore the early headlines. People are shopping online, skirting the lines at the mall. Last I read, online sales were up 8% year over year.

Here’s a tune for all of you oil players out there.

Full disclosure: I went back to sleep after bearing witness to the raping of my oil stocks.

Talk about throwing the baby out with the bath water. Down a hard 10 in SLCA, fucking 20%, due to the collapse in oil? You know what, words cannot express the sheer fuckness of what just transpired, so I’ll just post a screen shot of what happened.

So this is the end of oil production in the United States, yes? All of you fuckheads should sell the remainder of your oil stocks and barrel into WFM, with reckless abandon.

I was also amused that my BALT got its brains shot out, which is odd since THEY DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE FUCKING OIL TRADE. Those lads deliver steel, grains and slaves, totally insulated from the soon-to-be bankrupt folks in the Bakken.

You shmucks thought you were energy independent, drilling away like fucking imbeciles, in the shale rocks, at a cost of $70 per barrel. Now you have those rocks in your head and the House of Saud pisses on your shaley graves.

In other news, GPRO was down a smidge. Overall, I lost 1.7% today and I don’t even have a lot of money in fucking oil stocks, mainly thanks to the pin action in SLCA, DVN, CHK, COP and BALT.

I am grateful to the Gods of capitalism (United States and Great Britain) for destroying OPEC during National Feast. May you and yours receive many King Dollars and Precious Pounds this holiday season.

Santa Claus, through Amazon, is now upon you.

Just like religion, if you don’t pray to God every night and profess his greatness, when you die, you’re going straight to hell.

My enemies mocked me as I touted the grande powers of The Turkey Gods. One of you equated it to waiting up for The Great Pumpkin, in the middle of the pumpkin patch, as if my name was Lionel.

The day started out rather ordinary, but I warned you it would be anything but normal. Go look at my morning post. I told you GPRO was my largest position for the past two weeks. Several of you bet against me. NEVER bet against “The Fly” when he becomes obsessed with a stock. Listen to me now: I am blessed with the clairvoyance of 10,000 Magis. You can never win against me, ever, so stop trying to accomplish the impossible.

It wasn’t a coincidence, on the eve of National Feast, that news of GPRO launching a drone for public consumption (insane news) sashayed its way into the public’s eye. It wasn’t a coincidence that as many tech stocks lagged behind, my largest holding ROARED ahead by almost 6%–putting my daily gains at 0.8%.

The Gods favour me because I am a true disciple, unlike you charlatans, and thieves, who busy yourselves masquerading as stock market operators. Back down son; you’re out of your depth playing with me.

Now get ready for the Santa Claus rally.

Happy Thanksgiving.

First, this just came out:

First, a few house keeping items. Most of you are ill-prepared to host and/or be a guest at a distinguished Thanksgiving dinner party. “The Fly” is here to help.

How to host
How to be a guest of distinguishable means

Next, we are running free trials for The PPT until Friday, so get your share now.

Look, you’re living during the most important era in the history of mankind, a period that will be logged by historians as the turning point in human awareness that will set a course of unchecked hedonism for centuries to come. At the very minimum, you can behave in such a way that reflects positively on your family name. Life isn’t about shooting heroin and drinking yourselves to sleep under a bottle of Kettle One.

Back to the market.

HABT was upgraded and a $40 p/t affixed. Mark my words, HABT will trade over $100 one day.

GPRO is up based off Piper Jaffrey’s positive comments, regarding holiday sales. Duh.

Oil is at new lows and the Sauds said they aren’t going to cut production. Moreover, the Iranian oil minister even threatened to increase production. Come now, Russia is bleeding out here, which is apropos since the world views Mother Russia as the Great Bear.

All bears lose, eventually.

Futures are flat, thanks to weaker than expected economic data. But the Turkey Gods are here, so it really doesn’t matter what the data said.

Go cop that Gopro cam.

America’s revenge is a dish best served cold. After a decade of war and overpriced crude, The Empire of the Unites Steaks of America watched as her enemies plotted out 30 year budgets around $100 oil. She even encouraged speculators to develop shale oil, to make the ruse convincing.

On this day, on the precipice of National Feast, the carpet is being tugged away from the Sheiks who once flew on it.

Listen to me: 10,000 pins in the head of The House of Saud. 20,000 pins in the head of General Vlad. It’s over fellas. Oil has met its maker and will now resume down the drain, much to the chagrin of the clowns shooting themselves out from cannons at OPEC.

The pendulum is about to shift away from the east to the west again. For every penny gas drops, the American consumer saves $1.1 billion. A new era of wanton consumerism beckons. Everyone gets a Fendi bag. Actually, you better make it a COH.

LULU pants for all women, even the men (extra Macke). An iPhone in every stocking, globally, sans the heathens who keep busy cutting off heads for a living.

The market is in the process of adjusting to this new paradigm, this new affirmation of America’s greatness. While our enemies kept busy sucking each others pants off in their harems, we chequemated them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tivCEpNMWsc

Since many of you keep asking me the same questions, I will address them now. So you know, I am actively posting inside of the 12631 trading room throughout the day.

Re: lock up expirations

What am I going to do with GPRO ahead of their lock up expiration, due 12/22?

Honestly, if the stock isn’t over $100 by then, absolutely nothing. You do realize lock up expirations have been occurring since the beginning of time, right? Just because people are permitted to sell doesn’t mean they will. Moreover, I’ve been involved with two previous short squeezes of epic proportions on the very day of the expiration.

Exhibit A: Short Sellers Cry Out For Yelp
Exhibit B: Why Facebook’s Stock Soared on Biggest Lock-up Expiration

Re: The Habit (HABT)

Unlike many of my other stock picks, this is a legitimate long term hold of mine. I believe in these McDonald killers so much, I’ve dedicated to buying this stock, and if Shake Shack comes public, once per month for the next 12–if not more. My first purchase was around $33.5. It ran to $41 and some of you sold to lock in profits. But I never cared about taking profits, due to the minute nature of my position. I am not looking at the share price and will not concern myself with it until December, when I intend to dollar cost average in.

They have about 100 restaurants, growing revenues 50%, year over year. There is enormous upside for this genre, as Americans steer clear of McDonald’s, Burger King and Wendy’s. Americans love their hamburgers and will pack the restaurants of anyone who can make them fast, clean and taste good.

I added to YELP and HGG. Good, sell off stocks ahead of National Feast. See if that stops me.

In all seriousness, this week is always a thinly traded one, as people are traveling to visit loved ones. Typically, black Friday is a lot of fun, despite being only a half day. On occasion, we will get a sell off on Cyber Monday, as retail sales have been coming in light in recent years. But that’s not my bet. My play is for a robust retail sales climate that will offer upside surprises. I am basing this assumption off the recent data and of course the decline in oil.

I’d prefer the market to trade up today. However, if you insist on selling, I will simply have to dig deep and buy more. See, I am looking for a 3.5% move in the NASDAQS during the month of December. It’s nothing too outrageous and definitely within the confines of reason. After all, I am a man of ‘extreme caliber’ and reason. Within that 3.5% NASDAQ move, I suspect there will be multiple 10%+ winners. Selfishly, I intend to grab a few of those, then lighten up a little ahead of New Year’s eve.

My largest position, naturally, is GPRO–representing 13% of assets. YELP is almost 10% and everything else is rather modest. Again, I am a reasonable man of ‘extreme caliber’.

Some of you might have big profits and would prefer to mitigate risk ahead of the big question mark of holiday sales. I understand that 100% and would not blame you for wanting to reduce exposure, if sitting on big gains. But most of us mortals out there, who haven’t had the luxury of legalized insider trading (extra Ackman), have been through the meat grinder in 2014. We’re coming down the home stretch now and there isn’t time for hesitation or half assed positions.

In short, I’m not gonna try to figure out what the market is doing this second. I am buying now and hope to harvest bountiful gains five weeks from now. If any of you jackasses have a hard time understanding that the market isn’t the market on a tick by tick basis, you are better off punching holes in donuts than trying to figure out this web of lunacy on a daily basis.