Value Investing, Idiot Style

The funny thing about some of you miscreants chanting about PE ratios is that you own gold miners too, who are bleeding out losses. I understand your desire for high growth stocks to have PEs less than 20. However, in the real world, that is a rare occasion because high growth is bought up. If you are lucky enough to buy high growth/quality at a discount, don’t be afraid to buy it. Otherwise, quit littering these fucking halls with your stupid warnings of hell to pay because you just finished reading Graham and Dodd and you think those rules should be applied to social media stocks who are literally changing the way human beings interact with one another. I don’t think Mr. Graham would approve of your perversion of fundamental analysis.

I bought YELP today, in decent size, knowing it might trade down. I reserved some cash from my TRN sale to average down in YELP. My next purchase will be below $54.

But know this: winners will always be bought and profitable to its investors. It’s only a matter of time before YELP goes full GPRO on the savages who short it.

Today’s melt up was brought to you by cheaper oil.

I bulked up on my YELP position. Significant add.

I sold out of TRN for a 5.5% loss. It was my second largest position. I am no longer interested in playing the oil reflation trade.

Forget about chasing oil stocks down the drain. We have bigger fish to fry. Several weeks ago I informed you of a friend of mine who owns gas stations. I told you that higher volume means greater sales, especially at the gas station store. Last night Cramer touched on this exact point. Before ever asshole with a series 7 figures this out, get some exposure via one of the following names: PTRY, CASY, COST or IMKTA.

Next up retail. When gas prices go down, SUV sales go up. I am not making this up; it’s simply a fact. HAR happens to make some pretty high quality audio systems for Mercedes, BMW and other premium car makers. The stock is going higher.

Whole Foods is back on track. With Thanksgiving around the corner, commodity prices in the shitter, WFM will trade higher.

VFC owns a variety of brands that you own and love, from Nautica to North Face to Jansport to Vans to Timberland, they benefit from a richer consumer. VFC trades higher.

Do I need to tell you my feelings on GPRO? It trades higher.

The last name on my list is one that should be owned heading into the New Year. Chicken prices are down and people are drunken fools. BWLD is going higher.

I have several other high quality names that will benefit from cheaper gas. However, you’re not ready for them. For now, this will suffice.

If GPRO can hold its gains this morning, it is setting up for a monster squeeze higher. Bear in mind, the “news” last night of an expanded secondary offering is childish horseshit and is not a reason to sell. There is plenty of demand for GPRO’s shares and I will gladly buy them from some jackass IT guy in the camera lens department, who is hoping to sell enough stock to buy himself a wife from Russia.

Let the idiots sell. Smarter money will prevail.

The stock is up in the pre-market, erasing a $2.5 deficit from last night’s frenzied sell off.

Listen to me, GPRO is at the very top of technically strong stocks in the market now. There are very few companies with holiday shopping catalysts, like GPRO. This is last year’s KORS, the GRMN from a decade ago.

Long and strong, hoping to smash a few road slobs about the head today with my battle ax.

Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers bounced along the bottom before finding their watery graves. Let’s be perfectly clear about one singular thing: the miners are for suckers, people obsessed with the dissolution of the Federal Reserve and western finance. You people, all of you people, are scandalous vagrants, thieves in the night hell bent on the pain and misery of others. A great shame falls upon your house and it shall cast a shadow that will last for generations to come.

There is no long trade for gold miners, mind you. There are only short set ups. If you’d only remove yourselves from the slothness of your charts, you’d learn that the miners are all losing a shit load of money searching for yellow metal that is decreasing in value on a daily basis. The net asset values for scores of junior miners are exactly zero.

Sure, you might fancy yourselves to be smart day traders, running along the side of the road, avoiding the oncoming traffic. But you can only play this game for so long, as King Dollars reign supreme and the gold trade is effectively over.

In closing, I am reminded of a trade a very good friend of mine took on a Friday afternoon, heading into the weekend. He bought himself 5,000 shares of BSC at around $30, hoping for a few Monday shekels, only to find himself horrendously stupefied by the reality of his error.

This isn’t exactly stratagem, friendo– but facts.

Remember when you were young and would stay up real late at night to read one of your favorite horror themed books? Neither do I. But if I did, I am sure it would resemble today.

My top two positions were up, but just about everything else down. Chinese burrito stocks bore the brunt of a mean spirited attack upon its greedy shareholders. Men, clad in nothing but burlap undergarments, sold short anything not nailed to the floor and punished the world for breathing air into their lungs. Santa Claus deniers and Turkey God slayers ran rampant throughout the streets of Wall today. Our only respite was the cessation of violence through the closing of trade.

I lost 0.4% today, in what should’ve been a victory. Everyone is going to tell you to sell now. Prepare to climb another wall of worry, in order to achieve paradise.

Out of 4,252 stocks, my GPRO is rated number 1. Yes, this is the very same stock you mocked me over, deriding it for reasons kindergarden children could dispel. Your great fear of lock-up period expirations and ‘high valuations’ has led you to the back of a jam-box now, expeditiously being led to bankruptcy.

After your portfolio hits $00.00, your wife and children will leave and your car will be repossessed by the dealership. Your new life as a vagabond, a wastrel, is about to begin–all because you bet against the man in the time machine.

Today is a very dull market and most of my stocks are lower. As a point in fact, I am down ever so slightly for the day, even though my top two positions (GPRO, TRN) are higher. But that’s okay, as I have the time and the money to see this through.

The Turkey Gods are coming, and they are magnificently glorious. I put together a large basket of some of my favorite retail stocks, which still needs to be trimmed a bit. For the sake of charity, he is my entire list.

DPLO
HAR
GRPN
COUP
COH
NKE
RL
VFC
GIL
COLM
LULU
DKS
BID
PETM
SBH
TIF
DIN
DNKN
PNRA
PLKI
SBUX
BWLD
DPZ
PZZA
ZOES
BBBY
WSM
PIR
SFM
WFM
TGT
COST
M
EBAY
AMZN
OSTK
TJX
KMX
LAD
EXPR
FINL
FL
JWN
GPRO

Now that’s a very long list and you cannot buy them all. I suggest breaking off your top 5 and allocating X amount of dollars to them. Truth be told, I haven’t done this myself. Over the next few days, I will shorten this list and act upon my opinions.

Until then, please, keep selling GPRO.

They’ve tried everything in the book to reflate the global economy, why not try cheap oil?

Last year it snowed a lot during the X-mas season, which led to one of the worst retail environments in over a decade. People laughed and mocked the numbers, citing snow fall as inadequate reasons to stay home–away from the stores. But I couldn’t leave my block, tho.

Well, here go again, oil 30% lower from last year, barreling into the easiest year over year sales comparisons since 2008. Do you really want to bet against this lay up, during America’s feast?

If your total premise to sell here, or remove yourselves from the front lines, via cash heavy cowardice, is because we’ve already moved higher, you’re a rank amateur and should not be in the business of managing money.

We’re going higher son. I’ll put that on my eyes, ears and testes.

S&P futures are down about 10, leaving anyone who suggested that you should be careful heading into monday’s trade a winner. Such a person now enjoys the winners circle and is adorned by fresh flowers and is waving a trophy to an adoring crowd. Very soon, however, an errant race car will crash through the stupid crowd and mow him down. His corpse will be strewn across the track, for all to see. His audience, who once praised him, will forget him because he’s dead, something of the past–remembered in vague terms by the betting public.

I’ve always prided myself to be a deep thinker. But my best trait is my ability to act in the moment, on instinct, fast and without hesitation. Some might call my tactics to be Draconian, like the occasion when I purchased the book of my former boss, who had fired me one day after my grandfather died, and proceeded to woo all of his costumers away from him until a court ordered me to stop.

Let me be clear to all parties reading this: “The Fly” is extremely resourceful and is without emotion when it comes to forging ahead with the business of business.

Having said that, this sell off in the futures is something to laugh at, a late night joke of sorts for the people driving race cars heading towards fellows waving fresh flowers from the winners circle.