Once again, I glared at the warm market waters and dove in, without prolixity. My head hit pavement and my skull cracked in half, paving the way for my brains to fall out of my head–leaving me stupid.
Yes, indeud, the market is heading lower. There is a person on my teevee who believes we are going to crash again, 2008 style. Quickly, everyone panic and go to cash! I timed the market with precision, military grade, at the ultimate top of today’s trading range. I stepped in and purchased large blocks of DDD, JIVE, ESRX and ULTA, like a big fancy bow tied money manager, drinking shots of century old scotch as I pressed “buy.”
We were +50 back then, now we’re down 30 and just getting warmed up. Hell, the man on the teevee says we’re going to zero, so we might as well listen to him. After all, he must a denizen of truth and prosperity, being a CNBC guest and all.
I am down 0.3% today, which isn’t so terrible. But I was up more than 1% this morning. This market is, without equivocation, the very definition of “circle jerk”, an iron lotus to the head, sharp clawhammer to the top of your noggin. I am so fucking pissed off right now, I feel like punching holes through my windows.