Blogging Will Be Light This Week

The blog is an antiquated form of content distribution. I get far more feedback on my 10 worded tweets than a 1,000 word essay here. I get more replies inside of my chatroom, The Pelican Room, in one hour than I do in a month here. In the olden days, the golden blog era of the early 2010s — the blog was abuzz. People clamoring for more, threatening to suck their own dicks based upon market moves. Comments were 100-200 people deep. The only time I was able to conjure up that sort of reaction from the silent Bobs reading the site was in 2016, when I errantly delved into politics. You only commented because you were all ginned up with MSNBC and Fox News talking points.

Alas, life is too brief to have a platform that divides people. I am merely a trader/entertainer/aspiring software developer/writer of prose. I do not ever intend to divide the audience along political lines again, only, perhaps, by their IQs and maybe even getting rid of fat people.

For the next few days I will be attending to a family emergency. I won’t burden you with the details because it’ll only serve to somber your mood. I will not be taking my laptop, so if I write anything it’ll be from my phone. I will most likely be checking into Exodus for trades. Since I am 45% cash, I have very little to be concerned about.

My parting advice.

Reduce your carb intake.
Rediscover your manhood and go lift weights.
Stop drinking.
Learn how to cook and cook well.
Read and write, be curious.
Love the people around you. They won’t be here forever.

I once had lunch with someone about 10 years ago, very upscale NYC restaurant, discussing the stock market. He said “this is the most hated market ever” and those words always stuck to my ribs — because they rang true. When I was coming up in the business, late 90s, there were haters — but it was directed specifically against those darned internet bubble stocks with no earnings. Post 2008, it seems the hate is permanently fixed on just about every facet of the US economy and market.

Everything is rigged.

Everything is a lie.

Everything is manipulated.

Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Maybe it was always rigged and 2008 just allowed the veil to be translucent just for a brief moment. In about 10 years from now, no one will even remember the 2008 crisis.

Look at this chart.

You mean to tell me it’s all bad?

Some have been left behind — that much is clear. Some by hard luck, others malfeasance, others never had a chance. You were born low and couldn’t rise, not by circumstance, but just by your own limitations. I sympathize with you. But that doesn’t mean you can’t emulate others, heeding the advice of those who know better. From my vantage point much of the problem here has to do with stubbornness and hubris. You think you know more, better, possess some idiotic form of psychic ability. You’re chosen to see what others can’t — because we’re all idiots. It was meant to be. In your next lifetime you’ll be an Admiral in the US Navy. Everyone else is crazy.

All excuses.

I cannot attribute this to luck. I shorted oil and made 13% in an up tape. I liquidated half my holdings this morning before the sell off. I am smartly positioned short semis and biotechs and long gold. What more can I say than ‘just another day at the office?”

That hard reversal is typical Friday bullshit. But come on, we’re so overbought now traders deserve to be killed for buying more up here. This is where you book profits and get small. Go ahead and short at will for an inflection move. If you’re wrong, cover those shorts early next week.

I have a family emergency that I will be traveling for on Monday. I expect to be hit or miss for most of next week. I will not be taking my laptop and will only pencil blogs via my phone. I may or may not discuss it. Typical pangs and cycles of life. Everything is fair until it happens to you.

That’s right bozo the clown, I used a fucking dollar sign as an S in my title. What are you gonna do about it? Oh, you might stop reading? The fuck do I care?

Look at these gainzzzz, just from today’s catch.

ETSY +2.5%
(PDD -5.8%)
NVS +0.9%
HUYA +4.3%
SPT +2.3%
HUBS +9%
IIPR +1%
ZEN +4.2%
SAGE +4.5%
(NEWR -0.58%)

I go out there in my fucking boat, with a fishing pole, and I catch giant tunas. Big fucking red tunas, nice and fresh. I toss the fuckers into my freeze and cover it with ice. Then I bring it to the fish market and sell it for a fuck load of coin. Big time profit. Said fish is then shipped to an eatery where a master chef cooks you the meal of your life. That’s what you get here, pal — pole to plate dinner service.

Zero play here, pretty much as expected numbers. Unemployment sustains record low levels. Truly, we are living in the most surreal era of controlled capitalism.

Nasdaq futures are +32. But remember, it is Friday and there always is the off-chance markets fuck themselves.

BTW: For updates on Exodus 2.0 aka Stocklabs — follow us on Twitter, fucked faces.

I painted my canvas with bold strokes today, following another 200+ rally in the Dow. I ripped out gains in my oil short, DRIP, which was a 10% holding for +13.5%. Then I sold AUPH for -7.3%, GSX for +5.4%, and finally MDB for +7.2%.

See pal, that’s who I am and you’re nothing.

Good father?

Fuck you go home and play with your kids.

You want to read here, you better trade and trade well. Otherwise I have no sympathy for you. Other places pretend to care about you and offer you education to learn to trade. I give you none of that shit. If you’re good, great join us. If not, shut the fuck up and fall in line. Wait at the table and I will serve you fish.

When you go to a 3 star Michelin eatery, do you barge into the Executive Chef’s office demanding education on how to cook? No, if you did — he’d slap you with a bread roller. You go to the eatery and pay a sum of money to receive the professionally cooked food. This is the same concept at Exodus — a denizen of extreme profits where users thank Le Fly on a daily basis for improving their otherwise moribund lives.

Into the bell, I stepped in and purchased several stocks. I still have two hedges, leaving them to the Gods as small sacrifices for the benefit of the host. I, in fact, dominate the market and do not say this just because stocks are at recourd high. I say this due to my rich and long history of success here. I have an archive of winship at your fingertips for perusal. Curious as to how Fly did in 2008, 2010, or even 2012? Go to the side bar and have a look.

DO NOT EMAIL me asking idiot questions about trading or learning how to invest. I am an Executive Chef at a 3 star Michelin investment eatery. Fuck off.

The play against oil was a play for peace. The very second I saw America strike down one of Iran’s leaders, I knew it would lead to unparalleled peace, the brand of equanimity unseen since the Middle Ages.

Lo and behold, following a gay volley of soft missiles into Iraq by Iran — that is exactly what has transpired.

The good people of Iraq regularly thank us for bombing them over 29 years with gifts of flowers and candy. We liberated them from the pangs of life and now they’re free to ghost about and haunt abandoned mosques. While that might appear to be a very grim and dark description, my trade, nevertheless, worked!

I sold DRIP today for a 13.5% gain, not because I got lucky — but because I was smarter than everyone else.

If you got jerk’d into the futures market last night on news that Iran killed dozens of American soldiers, shorting futures that is, you got your balls toasted on top of a grill born in hades. I’m having a curious day, and will not get into smaller details, out of respect for the good folks inside Exodus. But I am short oil with extreme leverage and that is working wonderfully today. I also have shorts in biotech and semis. Those are not fairing as well.

The balance of my portfolio is long, fully. I sold out of HMI today for a 6.5% overnight success. I also stepped into another SAAS stock today, bulking up on some of my favorite names. Stocks are at record highs. I have no qualms with people attempting to catch an inflection point or a reversal lower. But I do take issue with people who pretend we’re not at record highs.

If you had problems attaining market returns in 2019, it was because you traded stubbornly. You didn’t conform and thought you knew more. Well, more often than not, this is a recipe for disaster or at best underperformance. If you’re not a good trader, as evidenced by a long rich history of profit, you’re better off in a quantitative portfolio or even a best ideas pastiche, providing it has diversification and isn’t designed for gambling. The true secret to generational wealth, something I of course still strive to attain, is compounding returns over a long period of time without squandering it. Most people squander good work during periods of poor judgement. Greed or avarice kicks in and next thing you know 2 years of gains are gone, or worse.

You’ve worked hard to make money and have been fortunate enough to be born into a country with upward mobility. It wasn’t all luck, since your genetic make up had a lot to do with your perseverance. Do not squander your earnings via hubris, the notion that you are unique and selected to have a 3rd eye — causing you to commit elemental errors in a forlorn quest for financial independence. Fuck the people in the lambos and the Instagram flexes. All of that is happenstance, luck, or perhaps thanks to a genetic enhancement that only affects 0.01% of people. The market isn’t hard to game when you elongate your time frame. This isn’t rocket science or something that requires decades of study. Investing is easy. Trading, however, is an entirely different story. If you cannot trade well, do not try it. Instead, use blunt instruments like Le Fly for your picks. I serve fresh fish daily.

Au Revoir, Shoshanna!

“Iran can be a great country” was Trump’s response to Iran’s foray into missile fun last night. He’s calling for another deal with Iran, in a speech that can only be viewed as conciliatory.

It’s over. World War 3 has ended.

The Dow is spearing ahead. WTI hammered into the fucking dirt, off by 3.6%.

First he won the trade wars versus China. Then he got Mexica to pay for and build a wall. Now he defeated Iran in combat. Is there anything this man cannot do — aside from finding out how Jeffrey Epstein managed to kill himself?

Futures are now green. Oil is collapsing, as predicted. Gold is retreating. All is well, all is well.

The President is slated to address the nation this morning, so anything can happen. Maybe, just maybe, he goes batshit. Or, since there were no casualties, he lets it go and relishes in his Normandy styled victory.

My best hunch: volatility is back, so keep some cash, maybe some hedges, and trade the closes for next morning rips.