We’re Going to Fucking Rip Today

TED spreads easing. The Fed and Co. are on the ball. Fear for God and Country is rampant in the American psyche.

This is perfect.

Originally, I was going to get all flaky on you pikers and go small. I changed my mind.

I am buying buckets of The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] , [[DIG]] , National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , [[UYG]] and Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] .

However, I will not put both balls on the line today, just one.

I will keep my cash position at 30%, until I run across more celestial buys.

I bought 20,000 The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] @ $35.13.

Disclaimer: If you buy MOS because of this post, your dog will bite your balls clean off. And, you may lose money.

While it’s true, markets usually bottom after such severe beat downs; oddly enough, it’s not happening.

Energy stocks are getting mauled to death, as if their lines of credit have been cut off.

Hmmm.

The credit default swap market is 64 trillion big, larger than all the worlds economies combined, yet it remains entirely unregulated. That makes no sense. And, to make matters worse, only 10% of swap owners actually own the underlying notes.

Some economists say it’s all air. One big disaster waiting to happen.

Did you know a version of cds’s were banned back in 1909, due to the market makers inability to prove it wasn’t gaming?

Look, all I can tell you is the market is setting up for a “classic bottom,” during “non-classic times.”

Just know, I have put my buys on a scale, considering the knifing action. For National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , I will buy a certain amount every 3 points. For [[UYG]] , I will buy a certain amount every point.

Finally, I am shocked to see Bank of America Corporation [[BAC]] back down to these levels. Those idiots made a mammoth mistake by waiting to raise capital. The the stock was in the high 30’s, last week.

To sum things up, until this storm passes, I will hold a 50% cash position, 4% gold [[DGP]] , and begin to allocate the rest into egregious longs. I cannot justify selling short down at these levels.

These are trying times and “The Fly” is here to pawn them.

UPDATE: TED spreads have reversed and are easing here. Get long something, you pussies.

Despite the grim prospects for the world, in general. The fuckery in the stock market must come to an end now. After an ass kicking for the ages, followed by wild jargon of apocalypse, it’s time to asshole dip our way back into the arms of Mother Market.

However, do it small and don’t get all nervous and shit.

For example: if you’re rolling with 100k, buy 1,000 [[UYG]] and 500 National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , or some other commodity stock, then walk away.

With my money, I am up so fantastically huge, I can afford to take insane stabs; but I won’t. This time, towards the end of the year, I want my gains to stick. Hence, I will be trading light, until some celestial trade comes my way.

Look you, we all know the economy sucks. Moreover, the stock market will eventually touch down on 8,000 Dow. But, we are way oversold here.

Actually, there are no models, aside from the Armageddon one, that supports being short here.

Do yourself a favor and call a bottom. You’ll feel better about yourself in the morning.

“The Fly” has retired.

I sold the remainder of my [[SRS]] , [[EEV]] and [[SKF]] and went to cash.

As an aside, I do not think the market will crash; it just sucks.

I may take a little coin and buy some stocks. Or, I may play handball inside my office.

Developing….

UPDATE: I couldn’t help myself. I bought 10,000 National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] @ $32.

UPDATE II: Okay, this looks like a classic bottom. But you never know. I bought 100,000 [[UYG]] @ $11.85 and 10,000 [[NOV]] @$32.10.

UPDATE III: I bought 20,000 [[NOV]] @ $29.25.

I am done for the day.

Notice how all of you smores eating flower fuckers were looking to fish for bottom yesterday, only to catch a sharp ax to the neck today? Way too many rookies are long equities here, hoping and praying for the Fed or the Treasury to buy them a new polo sweater.

You fucking pikers need to stop thinking so small. And, you little bullshit penny stock whores need to get off iBankCoin. Just make believe iBC is a crime riddled ghetto and you are some cornball with expensive gold chains on your neck. If that made any sense to you, then you know where I stand.

Going forward, expect to see insurers get racked, particularly The Allstate Corporation [[ALL]] , MetLife, Inc. [[MET]] , Hartford Financial Services [[HIG]] and Prudential Financial, Inc. [[PRU]] .

Finally, my cash position is immense. Frankly, it’s more than 75% of my assets under management. First thing tomorrow morning, I will blow out of the rest of my [[SRS]] , [[SKF]] and [[EEV]] , then prepare to go long.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPHzu3oc-2E 450 300]

“The Fly” is covering 90% of his shorts right here, right now, including all of his inverse etf’s.

With the proceeds, he wll brag about his 60% ytd gains and spit on homeless men on the way to his local eatery.

UPDATE: My selling is complete. At the present, I own small pieces, which are quite large for you pikers, of [[FXP]] , [[SKF]] and [[EEV]] . I will sell the rest tomorrow.

Again, I am not buying anything.

UPDATE II: I’m out of here. Off to eat some dead lobsters and shit.

Some of you go on short term streaks of gaudy, yet ridiculous, coin banking endeavors. Some so called “legendary” money managers blog on the interwebs claiming to know all, yet offer nothing but capital losses when shit hits the meat grinder. Other talking faces go on the gogglebox and yap up a good spiel, but come up snake eyes when managing their assets in real life.

On the other hand, “The Fly” is in a constant state of victory. It humors him when some of you pigeon feeders say “oh shit, Fly is a dick. That’s a contrary indicator, bitch.”

It does not anger me to read such tomfoolery, since had you traded against me for the two plus years I’ve been schooling you fuckers, you’d be down like 100% on your money.

Hence the term: “it’s not who laughs first, but who gets to bankrupt the other,” applies so candidly.

By the way, commercial RE is in full fledged disaster mode here, enabling “Plutonium Petey” to bank even more coin in his greatly reduced [[SRS]] position. A special shout out to “Reggie” for nailing that General Growth Properties, Inc [[GGP]] short sale call.

In closing, I am in celebration mode here. I have frozen my activities to short covering and inverse etf sales only. Unlike previous cataclysmic drops, “The Fly” intend to nail this one, then go to cash, while the world burns around him.

NOTE: Doug Kass is just an idiot.

UPDATE: I bought 3,000 [[FXP]] @ $121.

All of you are staunch communists and you don’t even know it. You’re over there, in your bullshit office, sitting in your bullshit chair, wishing and praying for the Fed to buy commercial paper. What the fuck is wrong with you (“The Fly” is talking to you, directly)?

So now the Fed is going to take tax payers money and buy Caterpillar Inc. [[CAT]] bonds? Great.

After this uber recession is over and done with, our government will own the entire banking industry and everything else, via commercial notes. Don’t you see the writing on the wall?

Answer: of course you don’t, because you’re an idiot.

By the way, the strong dollar is God smacking the U.S. economy, amongst others. Ever since we’ve been “enjoying” a strong dollar, commodities have been getting gorilla raped, and our exporters have been merely ape raped. Also, keep in mind, much of the ‘global growth story’, that you morons were espousing, relies on commodity driven economies, such as Russia, Brazil and many pac rim players. In short, the strong dollar may not have caused the slowdown, but it definitely accelerated it.

Or, one can make the argument that we never really recovered from the 2000 collapse. The temporary rip in the markets (2004-2007) was a direct result of a commodity bubble, caused by an insanely weak dollar.

You decide. I could careless.

A great man once said: “My feelings, as usual, we will slaughter them all.” Everyday, I wake up to these words of wisdom. Senor Tropicana will continue to slaughter them all, each and everyday, until his fucking brain explodes and/or his arms and legs get ripped off from his torso.

Unfortunately, I have a business meeting to attend this morning and will not be able to clown around with you pikers, until noon-ish. In the meantime, just know, I have every intent on selling short this jerk off market until the goats come home.

More on this later.