How Cool Would it Be if Buffett Blew Up?

Thanks to iBC’s gentleman of the south (it shall rise again, just not now), Woodshedder. for the suggestion.

Old man Buffett has been making lots of bonehead moves. If I owned Berkshire stock, I’d be selling that fucker quicker than Buffett is giving away his fortune.

UPDATE: Idiots who got it wrong. Ben Stein and co. are fucking idiots.

h/t Howard.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFBSvelq_Co 450 300]

You fuckers are always wrong. Never question Senor Tropicana and his time machining ways. While you jumped into the waters, covered in tuna chum, “The Fly” muscled up (he’s been know to do that) and bought more [[EEV]] , [[FXP]] and shorted some Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] .

On the other hand, I also bought some more National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , out of sheer reflex to the market rally, which was false.

At the end of the day, my brain is “mountains bigger” than yours. My trading skills are unparalleled. My market calls are made from pure gold.

Which reminds me: gold is a piece of shit. Sell it whenever you get the chance. And, stop buying gold coins you fucking idiots. You’re better off buying baseball cards or other useless collectibles.

During today’s tape, I started to lever up. I used the “M” word. I know what you goat fuckers are thinking: “Oh, God, please do not say MARGIN. Run for dear life. On the eyes on my first born, not MARGIN. Anything but MARGIN.”

Yes, young plebs. Margin can be very effective when used to hedge. It’s not like I am using it to bulk up on [[UYG]] . That would just be stupid.

At the close, I will be 65% long, 50% short with -15% in cash. My inverses far outstripped my longs, giving me an +2.8% day. Go figure.

Off to drink some rich mans whiskey.

UPDATE: Closed the day +2.12%

The market is rallying off of nothing. Take this spike to knife into some inverses, spefically [[EEV]] , [[DUG]] and [[FXP]] . I do not want to be net short. However, I want my hedges to preserve my gains and protect me from being clown raped, Amen.

My guess, we close near the lows of the day. The market has too many things to deal with, such as Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , Morgan Stanley [[MS]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] .

Trade Accordingly.

UPDATE: I bought 1,000 National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] @ $26.87.

UPDATE II: I bought another 1,000 [[NOV]] @ $26.55

UPDATE III: I bought 1,000 [[NOV]] @ $26.55.

UPDATE IV: I bought 1,000 [[EEV]] @ $85.09

UPDATE V: I bought 2,000 [[FXP]] @ $61.95

UPDATE VI: I sold short 2,000 Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] @ $72.39

Once again, the market proves it is being run by homos in florescent yellow jumpsuits, no offense to gay guys, of course.

At the moment, I am 65% long, 40% short and -5% cash. Much to my delight, my inverses are more than making up for my longs. I bought more [[FXP]] , [[DUG]] , [[EEV]] and a little [[REW]] . Also, to hedge against my National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] long, I sold short Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] .

The market cannot defeat me. “The Fly” is always two steps ahead of Mother Market (bitch), and one slice of pizza away from killing his trader/servant. Let me tell you, that fucker has been making trading error after trading error. It has gotten to a point where it is almost comical. If he was trading with monopoly or confederate money, I’d be balling on the floor, laughing out loud, as if the tickle monster had attacked me.

For all of you bull fuckers:

You will die soon. The market spits on your kind and will eventually thorw all of you into murder holes.

With my money, I’ll give the long side one more day. If the market dives lower on Monday, I will blow out of these fuckers and bet heavy on China shitting the shower.

Always a high percentage play.

I thought we’d have a follow through rally today. Silly me, I forgot that we were in a fucking black hole, which is sucking civilization and all of its furniture into it. Poof, gone!

I am flattening out my portfolio to put me on a hamster wheel to nowhere. Of course I am loading up on [[FXP]] . I told you last night that I would.

Look you, if you’ve been reading my blog for more than a year, you should know how I think by now. You don’t need me to tell you: “hey asshole, yesterday was a trick, get short.”

Yes it sucks being whipsawed; but it’s part of the game.

In short, I have not sold any longs. I took my 15% cash and just dumped it all into [[FXP]] . Fuck it. And, I will use a little leverage to buy more, if needed.

UPDATE: I sold short 3,000 Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] @ $72, to hedge my National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] position.

If Asian markets do not rally by 5% or more tonight, I am loading up on [[FXP]] in the morning and taking profits on some of the longs I bought this afternoon.

Thus far, the reaction in Asia has been muted, up between 2-4%.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1rAsoLm1Ges 450 300]

It’s rather fitting, isn’t it? Immediately following my end of the world “C You Later” post, the market ripped higher.

Before I go over my day, understand, the trades that I made today are not representative of my macro feelings on the economy. Eventually, we’re screwed. However, it’s the fear of eating a 1,000 point rally that forces me to cover shorts and get long. Everything I bought today is a piece of shit. However, I must go long, in order to ride out this short squeeze. Being up 75% year to date is no accident.

“The Fly” is a stock market God.

Basically, I started selling my inverse etf’s during George Bush’s speech. I knew the market would not go lower, after recovering from a 300 point deficit. I also knew, people like to sell on Bush’s speeches. So, I used that weakness to sell [[REW]] , [[EEV]] , [[DUG]] and cover my Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]] short.

Unfortunately, I kept my [[FXP]] position and was deballed for doing so. But, in order to take advantage of the squeeze, I hopped into my time machine and went long egregious amounts of [[UYM]] , [[ROM]] , National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] and The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] .

The one thing that hurt was covering that HK short, after adding to it intra-day. I ate an intra-day loss of 2 bucks, but made money from my initial cost basis.

Basically, the text book says we rally until Thanksgiving. However, do not expect another 600 point day. Milk the rally as best as you can; but turn on it when it looks best.

At the close, I still have very minor positions in [[DUG]] , [[EEV]] and [[SDS]] . And, I own a decent amount of [[FXP]] . Overall, I am 65% long, 15% short and 20% in cash.

I had enough. I am booking profits on some inverses and upping some of my longs.

UPDATE: I cleaned out my [[EEV]] , [[REW]] and 2/3rds of my [[DUG]] positions. I kept [[FXP]] , [[SDS]] and my Petrohawk Energy Corporation [[HK]] shorts.

In addition, I loaded up on [[ROM]] and [[UYM]] . There is a good chance this rally may stick.

UPDATE II: I am not net long. I sold enough of my inverses and bought some 200% upsides to get me flat. However, my largest position, by far, is cash. I haven’t calculated yet, but I’m sure it’s more than 30%.

UPDATE III: I’m throwing dice down, getting net long, buying National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] and covering some of my [[HK]] short.

UPDATE IV: I covered my entire [[HK]] short. And, I loaded up on The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] .

Currently, I am 60% long, 20% short and 20% cash.