iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,433 Blog Posts

Hedge or Die

Once again, the market proves it is being run by homos in florescent yellow jumpsuits, no offense to gay guys, of course.

At the moment, I am 65% long, 40% short and -5% cash. Much to my delight, my inverses are more than making up for my longs. I bought more [[FXP]] , [[DUG]] , [[EEV]] and a little [[REW]] . Also, to hedge against my National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] long, I sold short Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] .

The market cannot defeat me. “The Fly” is always two steps ahead of Mother Market (bitch), and one slice of pizza away from killing his trader/servant. Let me tell you, that fucker has been making trading error after trading error. It has gotten to a point where it is almost comical. If he was trading with monopoly or confederate money, I’d be balling on the floor, laughing out loud, as if the tickle monster had attacked me.

For all of you bull fuckers:

You will die soon. The market spits on your kind and will eventually thorw all of you into murder holes.

With my money, I’ll give the long side one more day. If the market dives lower on Monday, I will blow out of these fuckers and bet heavy on China shitting the shower.

Always a high percentage play.

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67 comments

  1. So China DOES matter! haha

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  2. Controller

    Are you taking resumes for a new trader/servant?

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  3. The Fly

    Heng Seng matters, not China.

    We can do this all day. I don’t care.

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  4. I’m up on my GOOG .0001% good no?

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  5. 80/20

    ping?

    man, that’s some thin skin!

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  6. OMG

    half hour till massive bull run.

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  7. OMG

    Update: half hour plus 3622 days till massive bull run.

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  8. BOOMER

    BOT 1000 DRYS @ 9.69

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  9. Canada sucks.

    Heng Seng matters, not China.

    so Chinese betting their own market doesn’t matter?

    Not to long ago, fly, foreign participants in the jap market were only 3%, so the jap market didn’t matter?

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  10. Jakegint

    For all of you bull fuckers:

    You will die soon.

    “Soon” is relative, much to your chagrin.

    ___________________

    More important, you have not yet answered Gappy’s question:

    Fly have you ordered your Hussein Obama gold coins and display plates yet?

    ____

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  11. Bears don’t seem to have enough mustard in their hotdogs…

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  12. ALLPROz

    I demand Biden coins…it’s racism leaving that cracker off the coin…

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  13. Bears use Grey Poupon, not that yellow crap.

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  14. Jakegint

    Hint:

    Watch GOOG and CRAAPL.

    _____

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  15. Jakegint

    BOT 1000 DRYS @ 9.69.

    Get back in CRAAPL, cracker.

    No harm, no foul.

    ________

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  16. Jake – How’s those Alan Geenspan “Master of the Universe” commemorative dishes working for ya?

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  17. theman

    I am beginning to suspect the The Fly is really Hunter Thompson come back from the dead as the Stock God Zombie.

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  18. j

    Dog

    Get out from that anon moniker and speak to Jake like a grown up. Man up, dog. We know it’s you.

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  19. Jakegint

    AllProz:

    Equitable suggestion, but it mars the whole “cult of personality” aspect of Gappy’s joke, thereby rendering it less funny.

    In all seriousness, the most amazing aspect of the 2008 results is that BHO got over the line dragging the carcass of that hair-plugged gibbering jackass like a guard-murdered “partner” in a chain gang breakout.

    _______

    _____

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  20. Flamer

    Can’t believe you retards still having the Hong Kong vs China debate. No wonder you get FXPed, both ways.

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  21. BOOMER

    I did, jake! 500 @ 90.83

    Also, 4k BOOM @ 15.68

    1k DRYS 9.69

    futzd with GOOG, but its too rich for my blood.

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  22. Jakegint

    Jake – How’s those Alan Geenspan “Master of the Universe” commemorative dishes working for ya?

    Again, from a purely comedic analysis, the above “follow on” is incredibly fucking lame and unfunny.

    Proving that its architect, though anonymous, is most likely a “Dimwit Dem.”

    _________

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  23. 4fl3x

    BOOM has a 15 handle, Damn!

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  24. WTF? You re-enable, then disable 80’s account, AGAIN?

    Great sport. Guess we can expect this sort of fuckery from the “administrator”. If FLY wants me banned, so be it.

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  25. 80/20

    on?

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  26. 80/20

    non

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  27. Jakegint

    I did, jake! 500 @ 90.83.

    Eggselent, Smithers!

    Serious, GOOG is a “non compis mentis” (sic?) here.

    You can can opener your skull, place the contents in a bread pan in the refrigerator for half an hour, and still make the trade.

    Just remember to “reinsert.”

    __________

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  28. Jakegint

    80/20 — I imagine it’s something to do with the site, and not you, specifically.

    It’s a little slow again today.

    _____

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  29. jig

    fly,

    do you see a bounce before major sell off?

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  30. The Fly

    You guys are all idiots.

    I don’t ban anyone. Jeremy the IT SS officer does.

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  31. The Fly

    Sell off.

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  32. candidate for new servant

    what are the job requirements??

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  33. ottnott

    80/20 — I imagine it’s something to do with the site, and not you, specifically.

    Unless 80/20 has been hitting the 20/20.

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  34. Mr. Market's ex-boner
    Mr. Market's ex-boner

    zzzzzzzzz

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  35. BOOMER

    Hey Jake. I said a prayer for you re: CBL. No foolin. Really did. Hope you are OK.

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  36. Henry P-P-Paulson

    P-p-please just kill me, I-I-I choose “D-d-die”.

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  37. Lucky Razorback

    HK is a couple of trading days or less from really going Ducati.

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  38. Ed

    I see a green close 😉

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  39. Big Mike

    I just took an IQ test from HR…They said I scored 120…is that good or bad?

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  40. The Fly

    Ed:

    Well then, you and CAP will be sucking your own cocks.

    Mike:

    120 is average.

    Get back to me when you are in the 150 range. Then you and I can have an “IQ-off.”

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  41. Get a ruler

    Don’t get caught in your zipper when you are through.

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  42. ZenProfit

    Big Mike:

    IQ Scores & Ratings

    What is a good IQ score? What is a high IQ score? What is a low IQ score? These are common questions, particularly after someone finds out their score from an IQ test.

    Lewis Terman (1916) developed the original notion of IQ and proposed this scale for classifying IQ scores:

    *Over 140 – Genius or near genius
    *120 – 140 – Very superior intelligence
    *110 – 119 – Superior intelligence
    *90 – 109 – Normal or average intelligence
    *80 – 89 – Dullness
    *70 – 79 – Borderline deficiency
    *Under 70 – Definite feeble-mindedness

    http://wilderdom.com/intelligence/IQWhatScoresMean.html

    You are smart enough to get The Fly’s lunch from 7-11.

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  43. Jakegint

    Boom,

    I’m fine, but thanks, prayers are always welcome!

    ________

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  44. Big Mike

    120 is average? Damn it, I knew I could have done better, I just ran out of time…

    Come on, they scramble a word and asked what animal is it…its an easy question, but it just takes time.

    Fly, what you think of shorting HK from here?

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  45. Jakegint

    Fly —

    Keep an eye on your boy, WNR.

    Remember him?

    _____

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  46. Jakegint

    Jeremy’s sick, cut him a break.

    He probably thought you were scum bucket whilst wrestling with a fever-fueled delusionary purple ape.

    ________

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  47. The Fly

    The site was attacked by evil gremlins. It’s not Jeremy’s fault. We’ll have it fixed this weekend. I have many enemies, namely TIM.

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  48. The Fly

    Jake

    I am long WNR.

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  49. Jakegint

    Goose step time, fuckers.

    Off to get a samich, wit peppahs & onyons (sic).

    ______

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  50. Mr Market

    I’m warmin up the homo hammer…dunno whether to give it to the bears, the bulls, or maybe both in whipsaw like action. It’s gonna be a fun afternoon…I hope your powder is dry.

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  51. Neil Sedaka

    Bennet Sedacca

    01:29:39 PM

    No positions in stocks mentioned.

    More on yesterday’s reversal
    Let me start by saying please take this with a grain of salt, but this is what I think happened.

    There are many hedge funds and others that need to liquidate/delever whether on their own accord or due to redemptions. Paulson and Co know this. So with cash bids few and far between for stocks, we need a mechanism to allow the liquidation of a large fund/funds to occur gracefully. Now for the nasty part.

    Let’s say you know where all the stops lie on the Merc. And it is not tough to know they were laddered below 840. So the easiest way to start a rally is to run the stops, get everyone ‘short into the whole’ and then jam it into the close. And voila, there is the bid for folks to sell into.

    I believe this happens quite a lot and explains the ferocious swings.

    it is also why I don’t trade e-minis. I never know when it will happen.

    Atlas is still shrugging and risks remain high.

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  52. Will the weekend be cruel or kind to Monday morning? hmmmm

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  53. Jimmy Chin

    Dennis Kneale could have/should have played Cramer on Seinfeld. He sucks as a market commentator…

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  54. This “bounce” or “rally” will probably go back over 9000 next week and then roll over again. The Fly was only referring to the current FXP situation when saying the Hang Seng doesn’t matter – it went right over the heads of many here.

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  55. Juice

    Shit Jake … I am in DRYS myself .. thats 2 same buys

    Fly – the T-day rally begins Monday .. that will be the time to load up on a selloff, not blow out

    really

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  56. ZenProfit

    Mr. Fly:

    Is your liking of M over?

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  57. The Fly

    Juice:

    Post your stuff in PG. Your calls need to be archived.

    Just make 1 or two liners, if needed.

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  58. So CHINA does or does not matter?

    lol, I couldn’t resist

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  59. Juice

    anon – gun to head, the weekend will be cruel to mondays open but out of that low comes the t-day rally express

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  60. Choo-Choo!

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  61. ALLPROz

    GOOG giving a crap on bears face…

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  62. Heebner, or Bigfoot, dropped energy and has gone financials. One of the leading industries today is silver – it has been a leader and lagger many times recently – tells you this is a POS market.

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  63. ALLPROz

    Major indexes retraced about 50% from yesterdays range…let’s see if it holds…

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  64. Mr. Market's boner
    Mr. Market's boner

    Look, I’m smiling at you

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  65. Observer

    What happened to that obnoxious but uncannily correct guy called “generational Bottom” or something?

    He and Jucie have been right on target for a week,
    and they both really know how to read a market.

    I sure wish Bottom was posting during this critical time!

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