18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,006 Blog Posts

Another 2% Day

You fuckers should be grateful and thank the Gods for “The Fly” and his copious transmittal of words through the interwebs. I’ve been gifting you fuckers for several years now, with timely wins and unseemly accuracy.

The conundrum: I do not need your approval or your money. Therefore, I have zero motivation to shut the site down to subscribers only. That would be gay. However, I am interested in creating a great product for traders/investors. God willing, The PPT will prove to be just that. After all, I am a staunch capitalist with communist friends—who happen to work for the government.

As for today’s trade:

It was kind of weird. Frankly, I haven’t been this bullish since 2006. So, it is a bit of a cultural shock for me, to say the least.

After the bell, Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] fucked their shareholders via an eps shortfall. Thank God I bought [[ROM]] , instead of RIMM directly.

Finally, prepare for a commodity run. It will take you by surprise and spill your guts all over gum riddled pavements (if you are short, of course).

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Watch Out for that Idle Manhole

Despite your perverted visions of fire and brimstone, the market is giving you the middle finger and bidding up stocks, with impunity. At the bell, Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] will post numbers. If I was a gambling man, I’d lever up to the RIMM table. However, I rather take the pussified approach, via getting long [[ROM]] .

Soon enough, the economy will start to matter again, thus giving people reasons to hate stocks. However, I still believe there is a good 400-600 points left in the Dow, before we hit dirt again.

For the most part, hedge funds have underperformed the broader markets this year. It is my belief that these idiots will use whatever fire power they have left to gun the market, in order to save their pathetic jobs.

With my money, I intend to milk these egregious individuals by positioning ahead of them. For example: right now every asshole with a series 7 is long banks. Well, soon enough, I will sell my bank holdings and overweight commodities. Trust me when I say, the month of October will be a Godly one for commodities.

Also, I like the solar space here. My favorite way to play them is via [[TAN]] . Why fuck around with individual equities when you can buy the whole sector, via TAN?

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Why Coal?

I already have gold and oil positions. I am buying coal for three reasons.

In ‘real people’ terms, here are the reasons:

1. It’s a McCain play. Dems loathe coal. For some reason, they think our fucking power plants can operate without it. Should McCain win, coal will be on the dinner plate of every American.

2. Another way to hedge against dollar weakness. The coal story is based upon Asian growth. Like all commodities, coal is priced in dollars. Should those dollars decline in value, the value of coal should increase. Also, despite slowing growth, both India and China have hard ons for ‘the other black gold.’

3. Seasonality. Think winter. Aside from April, coal stocks perform best in October. Last year, most coal stocks booked 10-15% returns in October alone. Going through the numbers of some of our biggest coal companies, they averaged a return of 8% in October, over the last 5 years.

Naturally, the charts suck and the trends are un-Godly. I am early to the sector and will probably have to continue to average down. However, 10 bucks (I never pay out on internet bets, sorry) says I bank coin on these fuckers before October is over and done with.

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Fly Buys: FCX, WLT, ROM

I bought 3,000 Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] @ $66.48, 2,000 Walter Industries, Inc. [[WLT]] @ $56.50 and 1,000 [[ROM]] @ $47.40.

UPDATE: I bought another 2,000 ROM @ $47.75.

Disclaimer: If you buy any of the above stocks because of this post, your wife will leave you for Dick Fuld. And, you may lose money.

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Fuck You Shorts, You’re Dead

You can’t say I didn’t warn you little Armageddon lovers. While you were over there, in your bullshit pleather chair, concocting ways to destroy America and bring capitalism to its knees, “The Fly” was doing his patriotic duty and buying equities. And, now, “The Fly” is spitting on your head, from the luxury of his 100th floor balcony.

Despite still being in a “coal hole,” my gains are bountiful and of course numerous. From Synovus Financial Corp. [[SNV]] to Citigroup Inc. [[C]] to [[UYG]] to [[ROM]] , I am winning and being an asshole about such illustrious victories.

People must think you are some sort of monstrous beast, always wanting the market to collapse and shit. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Anyway, on this spike, I will continue to buy Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] and Walter Industries, Inc. [[WLT]] . I will not buy Peabody Energy Corporation [[BTU]] , since something entirely queer is happening to its share price.

In short, my purchase of commodities is not geared for momentum. As a matter of fact, I may end up being wrong about my entire thesis, which is the reflation of America, at the expense of the dollar. My commodity “gambles” are indirect bets on sustained dollar weakness, due to the 700 billion dollar bailout. If I am wrong, my bank and tech longs will more than make up for the commodity short comings.

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Mid Evening Thoughts

My dinner (heavily salted meat with a red wine reduction) was far better than yours; because I do not eat crap— aside from the time when Domino’s pizza gave me a severe case of acute appendicitis.


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Waiting For Your Money

Don’t expect any big moves, until the banks get your hard earned tax dollars. After all, it’s in their best interest to keep the market gloomy, while the idiots in Congress put on a show. Oh, the poor congressmen are so concerned over the little ol’ tax payer.


There are some concerning matters in the banks, specifically Washington Mutual, Inc. [[WM]] and Morgan Stanley [[MS]] . On the other hand, real banks with chest hairs, Wells Fargo & Company [[WFC]] and JPMorgan Chase & Co. [[JPM]] did just fine.

My positions punched me in the face again, with losses in Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , [[UYG]] , Walter Industries, Inc. [[WLT]] and good old fuckery itself Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] .

Look you, the entire world is out to kill short sellers. There is an unprecedented effort to create another bubble. The way I see it, instead of betting against the man with the magical printing press, I might as well befriend him and politely ask for a few billion dollars.

Finally, Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] is going to post numbers tomorrow. I am deathly afraid of buying it directly, despite its depressed share price. However, getting long [[ROM]] , down at these levels, may in fact turn out to be a rather profitable endeavor, indeed.

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Make the Hard Trade

In my opinion, LIBOR is up, due to banks extorting Congress for the cheese. This is something they are able to control. So, it makes sense to give an appearance of doom, in order to get that cheddar, if you know what I mean.

I remember back in late 2002, Buffett made a big investment in Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] convertible bonds. The deal, similar to today’s Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] deal, nearly marked the bottom in the 2002 market maelstrom.

It’s not the money that’s important to Goldman, but symbolism.

The reason why I am bullish, at least in the near term, is because sentiment is about to change. If this 700 billion dollar fuck you goes through, the market discussion will switch from “who’s next to die?” to “how much liquidity did Citigroup Inc. [[C]] just free up, courtesy of the tax payer?”

Frankly, I see no reason to keep downside hedges on, with the market at these lowly levels. With my money, I will continue to allocate capital towards banks and basic materials/resources.

Indirectly, the basic resource trade will hedge my bank longs, or not. It’s entirely possible that both banks and commodities can boot stomp some fucktarded bearshitting old guys into and down idle manholes.

Keep that in mind when betting against me.

Top picks: Synovus Financial Corp. [[SNV]] , Citigroup Inc. [[C]] , [[ROM]] , Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] , Walter Industries, Inc. [[WLT]] and [[UYG]]

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