Fly Versus Third Tier Blogger

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Let this be a warning to all of you.

You thought you were all smart and shit. I know your type. You had your little charts stacked high on your bullshit desk. You just knew the government bailouts were working. After all, they could print money forever and ever and ever. You thought “hey, this Fly dude isn’t all that bad. He is wrong. I’ll show him.”

Wrong again.

“The Fly” is one bad motherfucker and you, sir, are an ordinary fucktard, easily distracted and easily killed.

I warned you of the January boot stomp. You chose not to get involved. You and your fucking charts, your mindless, dick sucking charts, are now enjoying the sharper end of my blade. For what?

Your bullshit accounts are on their way to zero—all because your had to bet against Senor Tropicana aka HORATIO CLAWHAMMER.

When will you humans learn (“The Fly” is a space alien magician)?

Regarding the important matter of investing:

I covered the rest of my KIM short, south of $15.75. I covered half of my XOM short, south of $75.5 and I increased my short position in HANS, just south of $31. I did not touch my VNO short position. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even look at it. It’s too beautiful.

As you know, I have big dicked exposure to inverse etf’s. I will not sell any of them today—due to my belief that the market is set to retest the lows. However, into the coming dive, I will sell them all and never buy, nor look, at them again—as promised.

Going into the close, I expect the market to get nailed to the fucking ground, effectively making clowns like Cramer and Kass look like dancing gorillas near a banana tree.

One pair trade worth considering is long oil, short oil stocks. You can do that via long UCO, long DUG. It’s possible that oil can bounce off of these levels. However, there is no fucking way oil stocks maintain these lofty levels for too much longer.

NOTE: I covered half of my XOM position because of my huge exposure to ERY and DUG, which already gets me short XOM. I’m just trying to eliminate overlapping investments, in order to build cash.

Top picks: SMN, DUG, FAZ and SRS.

I feel like some sort of fucking ghoul, looking for wealth destruction in stocks. I know all of this negativity is very bad for my karma. However, I just can’t help myself.

See, when I see people fuck up their trades, in a profession that I have mastered, I get crazed in the head— obsessed with proving a point. Unlike others, for me, it’s not about the money. Hell, if I was all about the money, I’d be fucking whoring myself around—squeezing pennies out of old ladies. As a matter of fact, I don’t even accept new business anymore.

Fuck the money.

It’s about proving a point.

The point here is we (the world) are in a very precarious situation and printing money is not the answer. It solves nothing.

Take a quick scan of the big banks; they are having their faces ripped off for them—on this glorious tundra like NYC morning.

Rumors are spreading fast, regarding HBC‘s need to raise capital. I am hearing they need 30 billion dollars. That’s outrageously funny. No one is going to give them that much money.

Here are the names you need to watch:

C, BAC, HBC, DB, BCS, GS, STD, MTU, JPM and WFC.

Dude, things are looking grim.

In other news, I really need to start eating oatmeal again. Someone had mentioned it on the blog yesterday and it reminded me: hey, for the love of tits, I like oatmeal.

I’m embarrassed to say, I’ve been drinking an awful lot of Earl Grey tea these days. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I get obsessed with things and completely get carried away. I need to stop drinking tea. It really is a queered out beverage and offers little caffeine to fuel my fucking engine.

As you know, “The Fly” does not sleep.

Hey, by the way, credit default swaps are blowing the fuck out for C again.

Happy trading, fuck face.

In my opinion, anyone who uses exclamatory statements, verbally or in writing, is mentally ill. As an aside, I just had an epiphany and felt like sharing it with you internet leeches aka fucking ingrates.

I’m going to make a few shocking predictions, so buckle the fuck up!!!

Here goes, wish me luck!

Stocks are going to get the dog kicked out of them in 2009. To highlight my reasons, “The Fly” will write an online book, as to why stocks belong in the sewer hole. The book will be no shorter than 1,000 pages and will be accompanied by various government statistics and sweet fancy charts that will support my egregious argument.

Just kidding. “The Fly” doesn’t have time to write books and shit, assholes. I’ve been too busy punching holes in my sheet rock, thanks to the inane trading behaviour [sic] of SRS. For the love of God and other mythical creatures, I am sure the devil and other fantastic bedtime story characters, are manipulating it.

With this in mind, I have the patience of a medieval tax collector when it comes to “getting my share” in the markets. I will wait you fuckers out longer than you can even fathom to imagine. I will wait you out, long X 50 trillion.

I’m gonna short more XOM. I’m gonna short more VNO. Hell, I am going to sell short all Pacific coast banks. I’m gonna sell short NOV again and RIG. I’m gonna sell short gold stocks, like LIHR. For fucks sake, I am going to sell short the world and hope my enemies fall into deep, deep sinkholes.

The point of this post is to make you, the internet stock people, well aware of my intentions for 2009. I don’t believe in fairy tales, such as fat fucks falling down chimneys or flying homos swapping baby teeth for cash.

And, I don’t believe in governments ability to create a marketplace.

So there!

UPDATE: This is poor.

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Overall, the bulls failed to meet the bears in full combat, on the open field called the indices. However, behind the scenes, select sectors were walked higher, much to my chagrin. On the other hand, BAC and BCS are trading like they want to go out of business—much to your chagrin.

I covered more of my KIM position into the bell, making it half as big as it was yesterday. And, I covered the entirety of my NOV short.

Basically, being long SRS is equal to having your nuts in a meat grinder. It is the albatross on my fucking neck. It is the piano on my head, the cannon ball on my foot.

The end of the day manipulation in commercial RE stocks is so fucking obvious I am an idiot for not taking advantage of such said events. I mean, when SRS is down for the day, it is almost a given that it will have its face ripped off in the final 10 minutes of trade. Unfuckingbelievable.

As for shorts: I bought a little more SMN and EEV. And, I shorted more of that bitch of a whore XOM. That’s another sector (oil) that is disconnected from reality. Oil is south of $40, yet XOM is a few points shy of $80.

Something has to give. Either oil is going back to $80 in short order, or XOM is going down to $50. Either way, the current relationship between oil and oil stocks cannot continue.

Finally, it’s clear that the trend is decidedly negative. For all the bullshit and propaganda being televised on CN-motherfucking-BC, we are down for 2009—thus far. In the event the bulls make one more swordless charge, “The Fly” is holding a 30% cash position. Moreover, he will (“The Fly”) use such bountiful reserves to bowl on brickheaded bovines, who are keen on betting against him.

Going into the closing hours, the tape is looking bullish to me. Despite a plethora of negative headwinds, namely BCS, AA and BAC, the bulls are letting it all hang out—bidding up “good banks” like JPM and GS.

Personally, I’m not a fan of any bank. However, there is a perception that a small handful of banks are “safe.” Whenever the market catches a bid, those fuckers springboard higher.

However, do not ignore the ramifications of BAC‘s diving share price. After all, they still are this nations largest bank.

With my money, I added to my EEV, SMN and short XOM positions. However I did so with very little conviction. If you’ve been following my trading habits for more than 6 months, you know that I like to “leg into” positions, as opposed to diving in—idiot style.

As for my shorts, I covered my entire NOV short, south of $27, for a quick 10%+ gain. And, I covered 1/4th of my KIM position, south of $16.70.

My goal is to keep a 30% cash position, until I am absolutely convinced of the near term market direction. For now, it makes sense to take quick gains and patiently wait for good entry points.

Nonetheless, I am not looking for long positions right now. My hunch is to play the downside, by waiting for good entries. In other words, the potential risk to the market far outweighs the rewards, again in my opinion.

UPDATE: I sold out of 75% of my AKAM position, for a fucking loss, around $14.

24 is a show for morons. Really, I know you fuckers like that anti-terrorist shtick, since the terrorists are out to get us and all. But that show makes The A-Team look like a tony award winning Broadway play.

Don’t look now, but BAC is about to hit single digits. Do you sense another bank panic? I do.

Fun fact: When FDR was first inaugurated, the market crashed and the U.S. was forced to declare a “bank holiday.”

Why is YHOO still a relevant topic? That company is homeless man in the winter funny.

Recent IQ tests indicate “The Fly” is still smarter than you, with a score north of 150.

Aside from PPT, the Godly folks from iBankCoin have a big surprise for the internets, and will unveil such said surprises by February.

Is Jim Goldman a midget?

Only terrorists or terrorist sympathizers buy oil stocks. Just saying.

Don’t look now, GE is fucked!

UPDATE: I bought 2,000 EEV @ $56.40.

UPDATED Shit: How does CNBC get away with being non-objective reporters? I mean, if any registered rep said half the things that Dennis Kneale, Cramer, Kudlow and others espouse on national t.v., they’d catch a swift kick in the ass by FINRA and/or SEC. They consistently hurt investors by giving bad advice and do so with reckless abandon.

For example: on Friday, as the market was hitting the lows of the day, Dennis Kneale kept saying the market was going to close green. WTF is that?

If some average schmuck took Kneale’s advice on Friday, not only did he get crushed by the end of the day; he also got hammered into the fucking ground on Monday.

Totally unnecessary and egregious.

GE just got tossed into a highly trafficked highway, yet the market is green. And, JPM moved their earnings up. My guess, they have something good to say about the quarter; hence the stock is up.

Oil and gas stocks are up, in what can only be described as comedy—since they (energy stocks) are fucked either way. I swear, seeing XOM trade near $80, while oil is in the 30’s, is a fucking joke. Nonetheless, 50% of getting a trade right is having the patience to work through the fuckery, if you know what I mean.

Thus far, for the day, I nibbled at SMN and I shorted more XOM, just shy of $78.

Despite promising on a stack of super holy bibles and declaring to never trade 200% and 300% inverse etf’s, I am trading them anyway. They way I see it, I’m just doing it on a temporary basis. You know, like how a crack addict just wants to taste the crack pipe one more time.

I promise, after this round in the inverse funhouse, “The Fly” will take them off his monitor and never look at the magain. As you know, “The Fly” is a man of great integrity and discipline.

In closing, this market is for the birds. Go ahead, buy the dips—in asshole fashion. At the end of the day, you’re just borrowing my money. I’ll be taking it back from you in short order.

Top picks: Short XOM, SMN

Boy, I’d really hate being net long right now. I really, really would feel uncomfortable—no joke.

Listen to this tune, while reading the article below! Thank you, good Sirs.

China’s Exports Fall by Most Since 1999 on Recession (Update3)

Jan. 13 (Bloomberg) — China’s exports fell the most in almost a decade in December as the deepening global recession cut demand for the nation’s toys, clothes and electronics.

Shipments dropped 2.8 percent, the customs bureau said on its Web site today. That compares with a 21.7 percent gain a year earlier. Exports grew 17.2 percent for all of 2008, down from 25.7 percent in 2007.

Waning export demand has led to protests by fired factory employees, an Exodus of 600,000 migrant workers from the manufacturing hub of Guangdong, and an estimated urban unemployment rate of more than 9 percent. Premier Wen Jiabao pledged Jan. 11 to add to the nation’s 4 trillion yuan ($585 billion) stimulus package to create jobs and avoid social instability.

“There is little hope that exports will recover this year, as developed economies remain mired in recessions,” said Sun Mingchun, a Hong Kong-based economist at Nomura Holdings. “Textile, steel and electronic exports are the most badly hurt.”

The yuan fell to 6.8390 against the dollar from yesterday’s close of 6.8370, as of 1:38 p.m. in Shanghai. The CSI 300 Index of stocks declined 1.8 percent.

Exports to the European Union, China’s biggest export market, fell 3.5 percent in December from a year earlier. Shipments to the U.S. slipped 4.1 percent.

Tumbling Profits

Profits have tumbled for manufacturers with operations in China, such as Hon Hai Precision Industry Co., the world’s biggest contract maker of electronics. Hisense Group, a state- owned air conditioner and refrigerator maker, has reported plunging orders.

The export decline was less than the 5.3 percent median estimate in a Bloomberg News survey of 16 economists.

Imports plunged 21.3 percent, leaving a trade surplus of $39 billion, the second-biggest on record.

Achieving the government’s 8 percent economic growth target for creating jobs and preventing social unrest will be “exceptionally arduous,” Liu Mingkang, the chairman of the China Banking Regulatory Commission, said in Beijing yesterday. Speaking in Switzerland, central bank Governor Zhou Xiaochuan said he too saw a risk of missing the goal.

Growth may slow to 5 percent this year, less than half of the 11.9 percent expansion in 2007, according to Royal Bank of Scotland Plc. That would be the weakest pace since 1990 and the aftermath of the Tiananmen Square crackdown. Growth was 9 percent in the third quarter of last year.

Borrowing Costs

The central bank has cut interest rates five times in three months, reducing the key one-year lending rate to 5.31 percent, and allowed lenders to set aside smaller reserves.

China is also aiding exporters by curbing currency gains that would make their products more expensive in overseas markets, restricting the yuan to a 0.5 percent advance against the dollar in the second half of last year after a 6.6 percent increase in the first.

The nation’s currency policy and trade surplus may exacerbate tensions with the U.S., which last month complained to the World Trade Organization that China was using prohibited subsidies to boost exports from apparel to high-tech electronics.

President-elect Barack Obama should press China to allow the yuan to appreciate because weakness in the currency is hurting U.S. jobs and manufacturing, according to Professor Peter Morici, from the University of Maryland’s Robert H. Smith School of Business.

Rising Unemployment

Shipments may fall 10 percent in 2009, Nomura’s Sun estimated, dragging down economic growth by 2.5 percent points.

The state-backed Chinese Academy of Social Sciences forecast 9.4 percent urban unemployment by the end of 2008, to rise in 2009 as exports and production cool.

The central bank will keep the yuan trading within a narrow range against the dollar in 2009 to help exporters, Goldman Sachs Group Inc. said in a report yesterday.

“This is viewed as a critical issue for trade development in the face of unprecedented uncertainties in the global economy,” wrote Helen Qiao and Song Yu, Hong Kong-based economists.

The decline in exports was the biggest since April 1999.