iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,376 Blog Posts

The Best Thing that Ever Happened to Me, part 1

My Grandfather died and I was distraught with grief. I took 5 days off from work, mourning the loss of Grandpa Fly, a young stockbroker at a bullshit firm. I had been there for about 6 months and my production numbers sucked moose cock, approximately 3-5k per month.

So, after taking a week off from work, I returned to the office and began packing my shit. I knew that taking a week off, no matter what the excuse, would get me fired. Lo and behold, like clockwork, shortly after I was finished packing my stuff, the sales manager called me into his office.

He was a burly Irish man, short on talent, long on work ethic. He was the type of person who always seemed jovial; yet at the same time, everyone knew he’d stick a knife in your back if given the chance. Also, he was known for hiring young reps, only to fire them shortly thereafter, in order to take their books. A regular fuckface, if I might be so bold.

Anyway, I sat down in his office and he said: “Fly, just throw in the towel.” I just sort of looked at him, all cow eyed and shit. He furthered: “This business is not for you. You can make more money as a dishwasher or paper boy. Just hang it up.”

Still depressed over the loss of my Grandfather, coupled with the fact that I was poor as fuck, meekly, I agreed and handed over my book (prior to entering his office, he asked me to bring in my book), without an argument.

Planning ahead, I had secured a place of employment at a small NYSE member firm, where a good friend of mine worked. He allowed me to share an office with him. However, upon transferring over, the market was so bad, due to the LTCM bullshit, hardly any of my clients followed me to the new firm. As a matter of fact, only 3 clients had the balls to come with me.

A few months passed and the market was in idiotic full crisis mode. I was young and overzealous and could not fathom what the fuck was going on. It was surreal. My work hours were consistent, 8am to 11pm. I worked like a fucking slave, often times slacking on the sales front in order to sponge information from the bloomberg terminal. I was an information junky, always reading, studying my trade.

Shortly before the LTCM crisis ended, the owners of the firm asked me to ” go work in the boardroom,” since I was undeserving of an office. They were right and I hated them for it.

By that time, despite being in the business for little more than 1 year, I was burnt out. I spent a week or two looking for a salaried job. My interviews were egregious, mainly because I really hated myself for failing and it showed. I wore it on my sleeve. The fact that I was being forced to find alternative employment, due to early set backs, ate me up inside. Needless to say, because of my poor interviewing skills, I was unable to land discount house gigs, or anything else for that matter. I had a new baby at home and I was living off of credit cards, in stupid basement apartment, Brooklyn, NY. My back was up against the wall.

I went back to work.

Almost immediately after “throwing in the towel” (again), in search for “steady employment,” my life changed for the better.

To be continued…

Part 2

Part 3

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Our Government is Stupid

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ijzDmHznSs 450 300]

NOTE: For the record, the White House spokesman, Gibbs, seems dumber than former mouth pieces.

NOTE II: If I wasn’t so disciplined, I would be selling short cre names here. However, I must remain in cash. So, I will just have to talk shit about my life and other egregious stories for the next week or so. Any requests?

UPDATE: ARREST PAULSON AND LIQUIDATE GOLDMAN!

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Say Goodbye to Your Fucking Rally

We’re long in the tooth here. I like AXP, UYM and SWHC, but lower. Stocks can go much higher than where they are now: but before they do, we need to retrace a little.

It’s worth noting the carnage in commercial re names, specifically VNO, KIM, TCO, SPG and ACC. It appears investors are placing large bets against retail oriented REITS. I find little reason to bet against such wise men. Moreover, I find many reasons to fade the recent run up in REITS, via selling short “The Four Reverse Horsemen of Certain Death” (WRI, ACC, MAC and HME).

As for oil: I’m not feeling it right now, in either direction. Part of me wants to throw meatloaf at XOM. And another part just wants to eat pretzels, while ignoring everything about oil and oil related stocks. However, at the end of the day, oil shall and will trade lower.

Finally, the run up in C is just plain stupid. As a matter of fact, the run up in all of the banks is borderline ludicrous, absolutely gay. However, numerically, banks are cheap. So, should this rally continue, you FAZ holders may find yourself switching places with the FAS losers, if you know what I mean. Levered ETF’s are the work of the devil. Holding them for more than a week is dangerous. Fuck around with FAZ, next thing you know that fucker is hitting single digits and you are on the back end of a foreclosure proceeding.

Do yourself a favor and stay away from the banks.

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Party Like it’s 2001

I don’t care about stocks, at the present. Having a cash position of 100% is somewhat liberating. For all you know, I could be on the corner, playing an accordion, while drinking canteens filled with Italian red.

I see the market. It’s going up and down, back and forth. Fuck off stock exchange: “The Fly” is busy with more important shit.

I’ll give you little gremlins a hint: watch the dollar. For some odd reason, treasuries are being murdered, cite TBT, and dollars are going along for the ride. Traditionally, this (a weak dollar) is good news for stocks. However, being that the Chinese are worried about their investments, one might become afraid or frazzled of a run of sorts on the U.S. dollar.

But you fuckers don’t care, do you? Go ahead, keep buying AAPL and FAS.

If forced to buy stocks, I’d explore healthcare, specifically CI, UNH or HUM. I am not impressed with the rally in bank stocks. But, the resurgence in the insurance sector is worth watching. Instead of rolling the dice with AFL, MET or ALL, I like the etf KIE, which holds all of them.

In short, enjoy this little bull run, for it will not last too much longer. And, bask in the glory of iBankCoin, as we celebrate serving up over 10 million hits, in little more than 1 year.

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Fuck AIG

Seriously, dude, the fact that AIG is being permitted to “gift” $165 million in bonuses makes me want to take a pitchfork and throw it, mind you, through my local congressman, if you know what I mean.

On top of that, we find out tonight, via bullshit AIG disclosure, that American tax payers dished out $170 billion dollars, thus far, not to just bail out the fuckers at GS, but loads of foreign dickfaces, clamoring for U.S. dollars.

Societe Generale, Deutsche Bank, Barclays and scores of foreign banks are eating caviar on your buck. Oh, and Goldman Ball Sachs received more than all of them, close to $13 billion. Well done Secretary Paulson.

In other words, we bailed out AIG, to save the bond guys at Pimpco or whoever is long AIG paper, and GS. Without government funds, GS would be trading close to $00.00.

Fuckers. Fuck AIG, Fuck GS, and fuck taxes.

Fuck, fuck, fuck fuckitty, fuck.

NOTE: Cronkite has the breakdown of U.S. funds deposited into foreign purses.

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