Prepare For Friday Fuckery

The markets are down this morning, mainly due to profit taking. The reports out of Bank of America Corporation [[BAC]] , Citigroup Inc. [[C]] and General Electric Company [[GE]] were benign, which should lend some confidence to under-invested fund managers. I can tell you, knowing first hand, there are many money managers who have missed out on this run. Those clown-fuckers will be shining shoes for a living, unless they start putting their testicles on the line.

That’s right bozo, you need to risk having your balls cut off, in order to keep your jobs. Any takers?

With my money, I might buy the dip in [[ENTR]] . The stock is bizarre and insane; but, generally, it responds rather well on dips. Into strength, I will likely sell my entire [[ERX]] position, which I have a pretty sizable gain on. Remember, my goal is to adhere to a certain investment thesis. To do so, I need to reduce my exposure to certain sectors, oil and gas is one of them. Already, I am long Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] and SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] . Keeping ERX is equal to taunting a professional boxer with bodily harm; eventually that fucker is going to punch my eyebrows off.

So, in summary, prepare for fuckery of the Friday variety. And, look to take profits, while buying dips. If you can figure that out than you will escape death and live forever, like Dracula sans the desire for warm blood.

Generally, I do not get excited over internet stuff, especially “stuff” that does not line my pockets with hideously ugly dead Presidents. But, if executed correctly, Uncle Howard will be a media God, while smashing jelly donuts in the faces of CNBC clown acts (Dennis Kneel [sic]).

I have given the Pina Colada sippers at Stocktwits my ideas and I hope they heed my sage advice. With God’s grace and a little luck, Stocktwits TV will be home to all of the popular youtube personalities, Stocktwits/iBankCoin/rest of blogosphere traders, turning some into goats, others into stars. The widget, which can be seen on iBankCoin’s homepage during trading hours, can be embedded on any site and will spread like wild fire, once the programming is kick-ass and becomes a real viable replacement or alternative to the clam-diggers at CNBC.

I loved the idea so much, I asked the hammock lovers at Stocktwits to allow iBankCoin be its first sponsor. Thankfully, they allowed me another avenue to express my twisted, yet creative, skills. As a result, Ragin Cajun, Jeremy and myself made a series of “slap-face funny” video ads. If you have a blog and want more readers, Stocktwits TV is the place where you need to spend ad dollars. If you are half-retarded and need help creating video ads, contact Ragin Cajun at matt504bt-at-gmail.com.

To sum up this post: Stocktwits TV is a game changer because people hate CNBC, are bored to death with Bloomberg and Fox, well, is just Fox. Furthermore, if you video blog and would like an opportunity to reach a larger audience, contact me at fly-at-iBankCoin.com; and I will put you in touch with the appropriate people.

It’s called “glory through repetition.” While listless bloggers out there aka “my competition” espouse wrong-headed bearfucked positions, “The Fly” is owning this tape and the entire financial blogosphere, via mind-boggling accurate market calls. None of these fuckers can hold a candle to me. Like I said before, you need to throw water at Senor Tropicana’s feet when they get hot.

For the day, I raked coin, as if I was trading with a ski-mask on, partaking in a criminal venture. Through bold and fierce persistence, along with the blessings of the stock Gods, my gains outstripped yours. All I need now is for Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] to get going, then the table will be set for my feast. Until then, I will fight like a hungry ape trying to access an adjacent “banana farm”—just out of reach— protected by egregious high voltage electric fences.

You know my top picks; I am done here.

“Le Fly” just returned from a high speed moped adventure, accompanied by two baguettes. Skillfully, “Le Fly” took large bites out of one such said baguette, while simultaneously injuring people on the sidewalk nearby with the other loaf, via “bread slaps.” On occasion, “Le Fly” opens a bottle of Bordeaux, then pours the contents into a petit palais wine glass, all the while steering his little moped down narrow alleyways, for egregious and reckless consumption. Much to his chagrin, there are many “fat Americans” with stupid mustaches in NYC. This clouds his judgment and forces him to make rash decisions, such as throwing cheese at undercover police officers, running “the stupid red lights” (french accent accentuated) in Times Square or speeding through wooden police barriers.

As for the markets:

The little back and forth action is BULLISH for stocks. It means, lucky fuckers who were long yesterday are holding firm, like a week old baguette in an umbrella basket. In my opinion, it’s only a matter of time before the shorts get deposited into pine boxes. Keep a close eye on [[ERX]] or [[DUG]] . Should the market proceed higher, it will be led by the oil and gas space.

With my money, I might nibble at a little more ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] , Abercrombie & Fitch Co. [[ANF]] and STMicroelectronics N.V. (ADR) [[STM]] , providing they pull back a little. Also, I really like the action in [[UNG]] , but will refrain from buying more, until the hurricane season is upon us.

Finally, I am emphatic about Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] , salesforce.com, inc. [[CRM]] and Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] trading higher, all open positions from the man known best known by his French followers as “Le Fly.”

The country rubes from Congress are grilling Hank Paulson today, for doing all sorts of criminal shit, as if they were innocent angels hoodwinked by the devil himself. Those assholes on capitol hill would be sucking Hank’s dick right now, if everything went smoothly. The fact that unemployment is on the rise, giving their respective districts hot irons to the face, lends them the courage to make jackasses out of themselves, blaming Hank for everything short of faux global warming (incidentally, that can never be proved either). Congress knew exactly what they were getting into, when they gave Paulson the authority to spend like a drunken, credit card loving, American. Every single incumbent should be voted out, just my opinion.

As for the markets:

After yesterday’s salsa dancing extravaganza of a market, investors are taking a breather, allowing gains to be digested. However, remember, the shorts are trapped and will bug-the-fuck-out, should the indices show signs of lift off. With that in mind, I want to be long, or at least consider being long, stocks with bountiful short positions.

Courtesy of The PPT, here are 25 stocks with excellent technicals, from one my short squeeze screens, titled “Kill the Shorts”

(technical score ranked “buy” or better, with 15%+ of the outstanding shares sold short)

No.	Ticker	Technical Score	Short as % of Float
1	STEC	4.42	34.60
2	DIN	4.22	23.70
3	TXI	4.22	21.20
4	MTG	4.17	18.60
5	JCG	4.12	28.40
6	PODD	4.12	20.00
7	X	4.12	15.60
8	SFD	4.07	17.50
9	TRLG	4.07	19.10
10	FEED	4.02	17.40
11	LAMR	4.02	20.20
12	HOG	3.97	19.00
13	WBS	3.92	16.60
14	GYMB	3.72	21.90
15	LVS	3.67	18.90
16	GCI	3.62	20.40
17	GMCR	3.57	31.60
18	SLG	3.57	23.50
19	TWP	3.57	20.30
20	VPRT	3.57	26.40
21	SVNT	3.52	15.20
22	ATPG	3.51	18.60
23	CRZO	3.51	20.70
24	SIVB	3.42	16.10
25	AMAG	3.37	21.80

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etPX8y7vLgs 616 500]

As bowling balls flew through the skies of Wall Street, “The Fly,” better known as “Le Fly” in France, stood firm, handing out beat downs as if they were food stamps. Amazingly, the inept basket cases at Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] managed to see their stock lower, despite today’s epic short squeeze, mainly due to lack of communication with shareholders that decide their fate. Ho-hum.

Aside from that, it was a “bag ’em up and throw ’em off the bridge” market, with outrageous gains in everything under the Sun. This is the sort of rally that teaches the bears, through tragedy, a stern lesson in investing. All thanks and praise to the MEGA-TRON bull quants, provided by the friendly folks at Goldman Sachs.

The following holdings helped my plight in becoming “rich as fuck”

Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , [[ERX]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , [[ENTR]] , [[ARMH]] , ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] , Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] and Atmel Corporation [[ATML]] .

Going forward, on our way to 9,500, I want to be long specific tech names, which are outlined for PPT subs only (fucking ingrates, most of you are). Additionally, I want to be long stocks with big dicked short positions, which I will touch on later on tonight or tomorrow.

Indeud.

I bought 10,000 ON Semiconductor Corp. [[ONNN]] @ $7.40, 10,000 STMicroelectronics N.V. (ADR) [[STM]] @ $7.70 and 5,000 Abercrombie & Fitch Co. Abercrombie & Fitch Co. Abercrombie & Fitch Co. [[ANF]] @ $24.90.

UPDATE: Final buy, 8,000 Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] @ $1.60

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your only daughter will marry a bearshitter. And, you will lose money.

Much to your chagrin, the market is running on water, extending earlier gains, while throwing cherry bombs at short sellers. There are soooo many bears trapped here, short stocks in a very FAZtardingly way. As you know, I was very close to going short, via inverse etf’s, but was saved by God himself. Immediately after talking to God, on my blakcberry, I decided against shorting stocks, so you know.

It appears the ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] conference call was not so kick-ass. No worries. The company is well positioned and should do well in the future. I will buy the dips.

Thanks to the cock masters at Intel Corporation [[INTC]] , tech is ripping higher. I am so chockful of longs here, there is not much for me to do, other than sit back and enjoy taking your money.

By the way, the robotic engines at Goldman Sachs send you their regards. They also tell me your “newz” articles, regarding their alleged criminality, are laughed upon by men in yellow suits and blue shoes. Truth be told, I was never a fan of Goldman, until they started throwing gasoline on the competition. Candidly, I like their style.

According to The PPT, we are, officially, in bull market mode, with an overall score of 3.25 or “buy.” In the past, any score above 3 marked a near term top in the market. However, it has always been my contention that the score would remain above 3, with regular vivacity, once the market was officially in bull mode. It is my belief, ladies and chicks, that is exactly what we are in right now.

So, get your fucking rocket ships ready and prepare for blast-off. Without a doubt, a whole new group of luck assholes will become “rich as fuck,” during the next bull market. Unfortunately, for you, I don’t think any of you are so fortunate.

The bears will be eating kibbles and bits soon; because there is nothing left for them to cling onto. All of their theories of a shattered economy have been thoroughly debunked by Intel Corporation [[INTC]] . Case in point: RIDICULOUS margin expansion at Intel. Those chip gobblers did not beat estimates. No, it was a lot more than that. The nerds at Intel GODSMACKED estimates, particularly on the margin side, coming in at 51% (estimates were 46%). As you know, I’ve been bullish on chips, due to the huge spike in capacity utilization at the foundries. Now that the margins are exploding at INTC, I have to get bullish on the end user, specifically retail.

More on that later.

The way to play this is simple. Get long tech names that are sensitive to the end user, such as Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] and Atmel Corporation [[ATML]] . Additionally, I am still very bullish on the 4g/smartphone space. Take a look at ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] , major supplier to the At&t network (think iPhone). ADTN just smashed numbers too.

So, in closing, how’s that head and shoulders formation looking now? You ball jugglers have no idea what you are talking about, 90% of the time. Hence, it is no surprise to see you default to oddball technical analysis theories, making believe you have a clue what you are doing.

Good day to you, Sir.

Gentlemen of The PPT: Thesis Update.