iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,467 Blog Posts

Milk the Governor

The good news for [[TMA]] shareholders is that the stock can only fall another buck. Good news, indeed.

As you all know by now, the news of Governor Spitzer soliciting “Ladies of the Night” sent shock waves throughout the investment community—as confidence in our markets and leadership become front page issues.

However, I must tell you, I am quite pleased to see Spitzer didn’t have some sort of absurd gay theme going on in his life. It just seems every single politician is a flaming homo. Good to see some old school, degenerate, testosterone running through the veins of a male politician (yes, that was a poke at Hillary).

As for the markets:

I expect this Spitzer shit will result in another wave of selling. People are done. They want no part of this market. Therefore, expect to see a crescendo sell off, sometime soon, much to the chagrin of the bullish variety.

Just know, today’s trading action gave instant victory to “The Fly,” against the cowardly forces of Dennis Kneale, James Cramer and Charlie “Meatball” Gasparino.

With my money, I covered my trading [[MON]] position, for a cool 40k+ profit. Keep in mind, I am still heavily long [[SMN]], whose largest short is MON. In addition, I took out a trading short on [[POT]]. Fuck POT.

Finally, sometime soon, due to the egregious manner of the recent sell off, I will build my cash position to an obscene amount, while paring down my shorts.

Basically, I’ve made loads of money this year. I find no need to “press my bets.” Until we spike hard, to the upside, I will make surgical trades and reduce my downside exposure.

Remember: Always keep a spare gun under the bed.

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Fly Buy: DGP

I bought 1,000 [[DGP]] @ $25.61.

Disclaimer: If you buy DGP because of this post, your name will be revealed as “client number 10.” And, you may lose money.

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UPDATE: Spitzer (client #9) Solicits Ladies of the Night!

You’re telling me the NYS Governor, Elliot “get the bad guys” Spitzer is a pimp?

That’s it. Something odd is happening here. It’s almost as if Mother Market wants the market to go down another 30%.

On a side note, this knee-caps Cramer’s clout, considering how close he is to Spitzer. Perhaps I can entertain myself in a short [[TSCM]] trade (while dancing to the Wisdom Tree Indian ETF commercial)?

Developing…

UPDATE: After reviewing the evidence, “The Fly” finds Governor Spitzer GUILTY of soliciting whores for personal gain. As a result, the Governor must resign and reliquish power to the Godly folks at iBC. Redundantly, as a result of this development, “The Fly” has withdrawn is Presidential bid, in order to fill the vacuum at the NYS executive branch.

As always, developing….

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Fly Sell: POT

I sold short 5,000 [[POT]] @ $145.63.

Disclaimer: If you sell short POT because of this post, someone will out their cigar on your new car. And, you may lose money.

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Fly Buy: MON

I covered my entire [[MON]] short (with the exception to my large SMN position), buying 5,000 @ $101.45.

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Lend Me Your Shares

As you read the work of an “internet genius,” shares of [[FED]] are no longer available to borrow, which greatly saddens me. Apparently, every looser [sic] with an E-Trade account is shorting the fucker.

So, instead of shorting FED illegally (which I would NEVER do), I have decided to smoke [[POT]]. No pun intended.

Developing…

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Welcome to the New Trading Range

Forget about life above 12,000 DOW. Now, we are in the sub 12,000 world, and boy is it dire. Just last week, when we were above 12,000, my local music blasting Starbucks was packed with a half dozen homo’s, diligently waiting for their fucking latte’s, no offense to gay guy’s of course.

Just today, I went to that same Starbucks and no one was there. To make matters worse, they had 1010 news on. No music!

Times are grim and dire. What shall I do next?

Ooh I know. How about I count all the money I just made shorting retarded bank executives?

Nah, I already did that.

Instead, I think it is time to throw a few dozen eggs out my office window, down at my local Citibank. You know, add insult to injury & shit.

Those fuckers have had it coming to them, for a long time now. All they do is walk around in their bullshit [[MW]] suits, while losing the world billions of dollars—per hour.

Aside from that, I love [[SMN]] here. Look for [[MON]] to “knuckle-under” $100 soon. If you have an itchy trigger finger, sell some SMN around $47 ish.

Also, with oil trading above $107, I’m not surprised to see [[DUG]] higher. The market is breaking lower. Therefore, all equities are, right now, a “source of funds.”

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Does This Mean the Secret Bidding War for BSC is Over?

Boy, do I feel like a fucking red nosed clown, for covering my [[BSC]] short on Friday. That fucker is headed for severe beat-down territory and I’m not short. Unfuckingbelievable.

As I cover my shorts, and they trade lower, I will be very upset. Naturally, I realize it’s impossible to catch a bottom or a top; I still want to do it—like everyone else.

Today, the ag stocks are being raped, as [[MON]] gets uprooted and beaten senseless. By the way, I’m short MON from $110.

As of now, I still have meaningful short positions, and a fuckload of cash. Instead of doing a bunch of clown trades, like some of you fucktards, “The Fly” will remain calm and patient, while waiting for the next trade to come to him.

Bottom line: aside from a few pockets of strength, the market will go lower, thanks to the rotten behavior of the banks and brokerages.

Remember, nothing scares a market more than insolvency.

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