Crunch Time

Here we go, entering the closing hours into a full fledged rout of the bears. Let this be a lesson to some of you bearshitters out there: never get religious about your ideas—for all religions are lies.

My mantra, as always, is to outstrip, out-win you, while sipping ( never guzzling) on extra large cans of Monster Energy Soda (blue version). From my vantage point, you fuckers are soft, easily tricked, easily tossed into boiling murderholes. I will expand on this important issue later on.

Just know, for now, the market is going up and there is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

I bought 15,000 ATPG from $12.87-$13.04 and 2,000 GS @ $142.70.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your favorite hedge fund manager will target your largest long position with egregious sell short orders. And, you may lose money.

We are at an interesting cross roads, where sentiment has decidedly shifted bearish from fucktarded, brainless bullish. I want to fade the consensus, at least until I see the whites in their eyes. In the short term, I feel the European situation will slow down, leaving the market free to run up a little. This puts the shorts in extreme jeopardy of losing hard fought gains. It is my belief, again in the short term, to expedite their rush into the proverbial vice, by way of buying stocks that are heavily bet against.

I have a very long list of names worth perusing. One of my favorites is [[ATPG]], mainly because oil is too hated. If the rally continues, you will bear witness to a most egregious and horrendous short covering rally, one that will shock and amaze bearshitters around the globe, AND MORE.

As an aside,  the decline in the Euro is not alarming, if the Yen is declining as well. Keep your stupid eyes on [[FXY]].

In short, this rally is for real, but will be tested by the circle jerk crowd. I will stay the course, at least until S&P 1,125.

Top picks: [[ATPG]], [[MTW]], [[PKX]], [[FLS]] and [[EMN]]

NOTE: I am now up more than 30% for the year.

If you recall, I said we’d have a thousand point correction, leading up to the “best buying opportunity of the year.” Lo and behold, I believe yesterday was such a day. Coincidentally, so did The PPT, registering a staggering intra-day score of just 1.80. I can speak for most PPT members when I say:  that score helped give me the confidence to bottom pick during yesterday’s carnage. Instead of fearing the unknown, in a way, due to PPT’s track record, I bought stocks as if my head was on fire and the market was a big bucket of stupid water.

At any rate, I’m not trying to sell you my wares. I know that can be “annoying as fuck.” I am just trying to explain why I do what I do and how and when I do it.

Yesterday, I reduced my cash position to just 25%, buying up a lot of [[TYH]], [[ATPG]], [[RAX]], [[MTW]] and [[FLS]]. I intend to sell such stocks, when the voices inside of my head tell me to. Until then, enjoy the rally.

A little birthday gift from me to you: The PPT is indicating an unprecedented oversold condition. As a result, I bought the following stocks in size:

Size and prices are in The PPT. I’m a little busy now.

Here is a little “end of the world” tune for you, for your listening pleasure, as the world, umm, ends.

Be sure to wear proper attire, with “ensembles” suitable for a gentleman’s party (tux, top hat, white gloves). As expected, mugs filled with black smoke will be served, alongside bowls of light sweet crude chowder, directly from the “Gulf of Mexico Ocean.”

Capital losses will be handed out, judiciously, as “The Fly” makes the proper arrangements to purchase your margin liquidations.

As for the markets:

We are now in the process of pricing in a double dip recession, no doubt about it. Look at the oils, steels and industrial stocks: SCORCHED EARTH. They are diving, as if the world was on the verge of one giant default. Stocks like X, WFT, SD and FCX are retarded to the downside, with “franks and beans” action taking place amongst the retail proletariat. Losses will be absorbed on an industrial scale, if we double dip. Mark my words, fuckface.

I will buy today’s dip and make sure to do so in small increments, in between celebratory ham sandwich smacks to the face.

All of your theories about the economy, government, and life in general, are abhorrent lies. You believe said lies, for the same reasons why you believe communists are going to hell, while big hatted oil men will be going to heaven. For the most part, people are wildly delusional about their hopes, dreams and expectations.

For example: the Constitution of the United States of America has been shit upon by every political party for decades now, yet some of you still hold it up as a badge of honor. That’s like me telling my kids to watch Scooby Doo, instead of their new age cartoons, because Scooby is a “dog of honor.” My kids couldn’t care less about Scooby’s honor, for he is no longer relevant—just like the Constitution. So sorry for the news that is breaking here.

Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, we are living in a world without morals, rules or decency. I imagine the world has always been like this, just not as brazen sans the medieval era.

All of you piker hedge fund managers, keen on raising money, but fucked as hell managing it, will be flushed the fuck out this time around, due to your religious beliefs that the market can go up, perversely and indefinitely, without boundaries.

For my birthday tomorrow, I intend to receive the gift of gifts that I have been clamoring for since February: your margin liquidations. With more than 50% in cash and year to date gains of 26%, I stand to outlast you, AND MORE. I will buy the blood, when it becomes appetizing. Then, when you least expect it, I will sell everything, do a 180, and bet for Dow 8,000, based upon the concept of a “double dip recession” permeating the small brains of some of our largest money managers.

You will watch and bear witness to all of these things, during the remainder of 2010.

I don’t think I have ever hated corporations, like I do BP, CAM and RIG. Sure, I’m a big capitalism guy, always rooting for the middle class guy to get milked of his paycheck and all. But, this whole Gulf of Mexico “accident” situation is getting a bit lame. The fucking Obama administration sucks cock, for not seizing that fucking well and nuking it. That’s right. Take a fucking nuclear bomb and detonate it, right on that cocksucking well. Then, in true communist fashion, we should seize all sorts of BP wells, as collateral against the billions of dollars in damage being done.

A lot of you fuck faces are corporate bitches, always rooting for the bad guys because you think they represent enterprise.

WRONG.

Those assholes represent oligarchy, not capitalism. I say, if we are going to get all communist and shit, via bailouts and other Obama-nomics, let’s take their wells and turn them into amusement parks. We can put Ferris Wheels and roller coasters on them.

On a serious note, most of you can go fuck yourselves. That’s just a little pay back for all of the shit you give me, day in and day out.

Into the bell, I hate the world, stocks and especially dick-faces from Texas who have a proclivity to drill for oil.

After such a big move, the market will try to rape you, by way of sending out misinformation and false signals. Just when you think you have it all figured out, BAM, men in fancy pants slap you in the jawbone with legs of lamb. My advice to you: forget about this market for a few days. Go to Europe and drink heavily with Irish people. Leave some longs in place and pray to God, or whatever mythical creature you believe in, that things go your way. To couch your position, consider a 50% cash position.

Why?

Answer: because only narcissistic asshats think they can time the market perfectly. Having cash in your investment accounts is equal is to having an eraser on the end of a pencil. We all make mistakes and it’s important to approach this bitch of a market, tactically.

As the day progresses, stocks are getting weaker. To be honest with all of you ham and eggers, I could not care less. Who gives a fuck? My risk is very minimal and I am playing with the houses money, AND MORE. Over the next few days, I will look to make another dive into the market, long or short. For now, I am leaning long.

After such grandiose wins, particularly in my personal accounts, I’ve decided to take it easy for the next few days, and shit. Rarely do I speak of my personal wins, in favor of the broader picture. But so you know, the recent [[VXX]] trade that was mastered by yours truly was the biggest trade, by size, on a personal and professional level, of my career. I am glad it worked out and will not try such an absurd thing again, for many moons.

At any rate, we are still oversold and should rally. I do not like the banks, for a number of “no brainer” reasons. And, with commodity prices falling, coupled with dollar strength, I do not want to buy commodities either. In my estimation, if you are going to play the bounce, do so long big cap tech. Personally, I have been buying [[TYH]], which is 3x tech fuckery, all of the finest and biggest cap shit out there, from [[IBM]] to [[AAPL]].

As an aside, I was impressed with the numbers out of [[FTK]]. More on that later.

Picking through the rubble, I want to average down on a few of my positions. I like [[CBD]], [[TEVA]], [[PKX]] and [[EMN]] down here. I understand the euro is raping the world. I am alarmed by today’s drop. Moreover, I have every intent of keeping all new positions are very short leashes.  My prediction for this summer has a lot of do with pain and extraordinarily lower equity prices. So, keep in mind, when I say “I like” something right now, I literally mean “right now.” Shit changes all the time.

When I talk to stupid people in the street, and shit, they ask me “hey, what do you like now?” In the past, I’d entertain their queries with a flurry of picks, with commentary. Now, with age and a much more jaded/cynical attitude about life, I tell them “I like what I like and that changes on a continuous basis.” The reality is, I am not a fucking stock picking monkey; save that shit for the pikers doing 5 gross per month. I manage money and do so with the utmost dignity and professionalism. Asking me for a stock pick is equal to asking Ty Cobb to show you how he hits a single.

FUCK OFF ASSHOLE. GO TO THE YAHOO MESSAGE BOARDS FOR STOCK ADVICE. I AM TOO BUSY BUILDING MY KINGDOM, and shit.