iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,376 Blog Posts

SHAME ON THE HOUSE OF FLY

I have a stock down 28% today: MLNX (“it’s a great little company” -fucking asshole). I do not own a large stake in said company, but own it nonetheless.  I had a shit load of TZA for my personal accounts and loads of VXX to hedge off my longs in others. I got caught in a spastic short squeeze, all due to a brief piss in the wind decline, led by the beard of Ben Bernanke. Please let that information sink in for a moment, before you continue reading.

Sure, my personal accounts can withstand a one off event and the MLNX/VXX rolling disaster will not do long term damage to my accounts, as they are minority positions. The MLNX was a 2% position and VXX is 20%: the rest is all long a bunch of bullshit going higher this morning. But this is bad, as I have effectively emptied out a fucking clip of 100% stupid on my own face! Can you appreciate that?

Going into the close of trading yesterday, I was scared to buy stocks, like a small girl caught up in between a grenade fight. I should have thrown on a dress and ran out into the streets crying, instead of disgracing myself with cautionary tales. So here I am today, with the market up 190, punching holes in the fucking sheet rock. What should I do now? Can I do something, anything to escape the stupid box I find myself defecating in?

First thing I did was sell TZA. I don’t need to look at that shit. Second order of business: I bought a man-sized position in TSO, adding to yesterday’s starter. As for VXX: there is nothing worth doing right now, but sit and watch that fucker shoot grape at me. I have no choice but to buy more lower.

And to think, I could have avoided this whole ordeal, if I had just followed the laws of The PPT. Instead, I find myself shoveling shit out of my space rocket.

SIDE, motherfucking, NOTE: I sold out of 10,000 STI personal yesterday too. That’s just a side, motherfucking, note.

UPDATE: I sold out of FLS and bought some BAC.

UPDATE: I bought EMN.

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Hoping For Collapse

Every night before I tuck myself into bed, I pray to the pagan Gods to crush the operators of this country with their hooves. From the top to the bottom, this country, specifically, is in dire need of a fucking ass kicking. Don’t get me wrong, if I was a Chinese national, I’d be tossing grenades into fetus soup fast food restaurants right about now. But, you must understand, the fuckery is too great to bear. Let me apologize 10,000 times for what I am about to say: I desire to see my health insurer die slow in a vat filled with pig fat.

Here’s a little anecdotal evidence for you. About two months ago I had an endoscopy done, that required a 10 minute general anesthetic. Those motherfuckers had the stones to send me a bill for $4,500, since they are not even in a PPO. I guess my Doctor didn’t think I’d need an anesthesiologist  who was actually in a fucking PPO. Needless to say, I’d rather die in a fucking Iraqi prison than pay those cocksuckers such a criminal charge. I know all of you have similar stories, as do I. The medical industry is riddled with fraud, littered with degenerates who view medicine in dollar signs instead of treating patients. Having many physicians as piker clients, I can tell you first hand they are nothing more than OTB guys with medical licenses.

Don’t get me started on lawyers.

All you hear on the news is how bad Wall Street is, while these other fuckers are robbing old ladies of their monthly social security checks. Nah, we don’t need reform. We need a full fledged “let’s do this shit over, while BBQing a few good Doctors” program.

The IRS can fuck themselves too.

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Positioning For the Circus

I told you before “I have no fucking idea what to expect.” For this reason, for the better part of 2010, I’ve been holding record amounts of cash, sometimes as much as 60%. While some of my peers claim to know what the fuck is transpiring, I am here to tell you I know how to control confusion better than anyone you have ever met. The market is a mess and no one is safe, long or short. So, in order to stay on the offensive, it’s important to think like a hunter and not prey.

I will have you know, as we speak, “The Fly” is dressed in camouflage garments, covered in mud, aiming his scope at your bullshit Zeeco accounts.

The breadth is too poor today to stay committed to a 3x ETF like TNA. So I sold it and bought TZA, without emotion. Additionally, I added to my VXX and sold X, due to distinct cracks in the surface of the Earth.

Going forward, I expect more of the same. Perhaps we will sell off tomorrow morning, then sprint higher. If so, I will be prepared with my empty bag, in order to collect all of the fucking money that will be tossed my way. My largest directional long bets are EWZ and FLS. It’s also worth mentioning, I have an appetite for TSO. I’ve been buying it all day long.

In summary, “The Fly” may not be making money today, but he’s having a “fuckload” of fun trying to rip the skin off your tits. Plus anyway, I am not done positioning myself for the coming circus. Be patient, and within a week, you will see “The Fly” kill it, in real time, as always.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RfzIXM7o4M 616 500]

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Down We Go

Too much red to recover today. I sold out of my TNA and jumped into TZA @ $38.

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Fascinating

Bernanke is a bearded clam. Let the market do its thing. Stay focused on them murderholes and God save you if you are leveraged to the upside or downside.

I said it before and I say it now: this is a meat grinder of a market. Trust nothing and no one. Take trades and book them. As for Ben’s comments: WAY OVER BLOWN. Who cares what he says?

Answer: I suppose you do.

Bottom line: people are confused.

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Fly Buy: TSO

I bought 10,000 TSO @ $11.83.

Disclaimer: If you buy TSO because of this post Obama will ban gasoline. And, you may lose money.

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Mixed Nuts

Yen up, treasuries up, Euro down and oil down: not a very good combination for a market rally. But, the metals are running with their fucking heads on fire here, with big gains out of X, CLF, FCX and TCK. Since I sold my CLF early, I will hang onto my X until the Earth cracks in half and dissipates into outer-space.

Like gravity, fears of a big market sell off are nothing more than an illusion. With solid earnings out of both MS and WFC, it would take a great deal of bearshit fuckery to melt this market down today. Stay focused and quit reading so much Zero Hedge; it’s bad for your portfolio.

With my money, I am loooooong vast amounts of EWZ and FLS, with sincere hopes of adding more donuts to my checking accounts. My VXX position, as discussed, will be added to lower. Quit asking questions.

I will sell TNA, north of $40, while dancing on bearshitter graves.

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My Robots Told Me to Do it

Based upon the laws of mathematics, the following stocks are poised to move higher, over a 5 day time frame:

GR, IYG, STI, MTSC and FLS.

Good day to you and yours.

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Awww Shucks

Who knew?

Maybe I knew? Perhaps, even a thousand others knew.

Strategy from here on is to acknowledge my VXX trade as “untimely” but still relevant. I will add to the positions 1-2 points lower, as we head towards the top end of the recent range. At the close of trading, my largest positions were VXX, EWZ and FLS. Personally, TNA is, by far, my largest.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9jODqwxSPg 616 500]

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No Fear

When dealing with time machines and such, one has NO FEAR, while investing in the stock market. Most of you are well aware of my positions and understand my abilities to turn rain into rainbows, like a fucking magician leprechaun, are not only ordinary, but expected.

Yes, I will hold VXX and buy more lower. However, for now, I am enjoying my longs, as the sprint higher into Elysium.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BC5jOPVXwuo 616 500]

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