Going for a Spin

Okay, this market is on auto-wreck now, so I am going for a spin in my new coffin. As some of you know, I intend to be buried in a pineapple coffin when I perish, which will not happen for another 300-500 years from now. Nevertheless, I am a fanatical organizer, stemming from my wealth of knowledge derived from my community.

President Fly

You are enjoying a morphine shot right now. Before you know it, the market will be knifing lower again, as 0bamanomics kicks in and strips wealth from the land. Obamanomics will salt the earth and set flames to your hospitals.

Over the past 6 days, we’ve rallied 13%. Do you remember when I told you the bears who were betting on the eventual collapse wouldn’t profit from it because of their lack of patience? Well, this is what I was referring to. Bear market rallies are fucking insane and they make you feel like “we’re back.” The reality is, none of this is real. I am sorry to inform you of this, as you are young, stupid and naively bullish on the prospects of fucking nothing at all. The systemic dangers are more relevant now than ever before.

Look how low interest rates are and ask yourself “why is the housing market still in depression?” The top 4 banks are cartels and will not refinance the mortgages of millions of people in need because they desire the old, high coupon, debt. With the government fucking the banks with “The Volcker Rule” and Dodd-Frank, we are, essentially, a bankless nation.

Having said that, short squeezes are infectious. We can easily rally another 2-4%, defying all of the laws of reason and democracy– in true asshole fashion. My goal here is to remove beta and grind my volatility down to nil. Yesterday’s purchases pushed my long exposure up, so I will need to sell or add to shorts to achieve my goals. The point is, I am patient. I know exactly where this market is going, but not so sure when it’s going to get there.

I’ve been thinking about the market and know where it’s going in the near term. Due to trade secrets and pending patents, I will withhold this information in order to protect you from civil lawsuits.

I told you last week that I was looking for a single day 10,000 point rally. Well, I bring you good news and fortune: it is coming. The robots who trade this market are experiencing an “overwhelming sense of elation and euphoria” thanks to the year on the calendar. Believe it or not, the programmers had the wrong date inside of the HFT matrix. Up until last week, the robots thought it was 2008, when in fact it is 2011.

Holy shit to the upside!

As a result, we should all kick back, relax, smoke some marijuana, and protest the protesters on Wall Street. As a point in fact, Wall Street is back and we’re all gonna be richer than “Fat Fuck” Rick Ross, if you could fathom that at all.

I’m gonna close out my day with this post because there is nothing else to say. We’re not in 2008 and Europe has decided “it will not accept another Lehmans (sic).” That is some powerful shit right there. Smoke it. Once again, 10,000 apologies for my rough and tussle use of the english language. “The Fly” grew up on the wrong side of the street and has deep seeded issues that have never been addressed. So, should you venture to iBankCoin from some shit-box library down in the bible belt and find my prose to be somewhat offensive, say a prayer to your God for Plutonium Petey because he really doesn’t give a fuck what you think.

Once again, VXX is taking me to the woodshed, now down nearly 15% of my basis. I am cutting losses on it today. If the market tops today and VXX soars 50% from here, I will tip my hat to those who bought my liquidation. A line in the sand needs to be established in order to restore order. With regards to TZA: it’s a much smaller position and I am willing to let it sink deeper before I cut losses there too.

Little did I know, amidst all of the insolvency and bank fuckery, the world was on the verge of entering a new Gilded Era. This is splendid, as I will be in London during November to celebrate this achievement.

If only for a moment, take your shades off and you will see people of substance drinking from golden chalices, eating beluga, chatting amongst themselves while listening to Bach. The Occupy Wall Street crowd are just mad because they are not “rich as fuck.” Because if they were, as logic dictates, they wouldn’t be smelling up NYC.

All that aside, I was forced to join the club today, buying size in OPEN and RFMD to minimize my idiocy through VXX. For the day, I am up, mostly thanks to PWRD and WNR. However, I could have made so much more money over the past few days had I kept my original positions. I made a choice to avoid the envelop altogether in favor of stability and profitability.

For the year, my gains stand at 15%, just 1% off my all-time highs.

Bending to the will of the market, I allocated a healthy amount of cash to OPEN and RFMD.

The market is going to explode to the upside again today because, apparently, Europe is fixed. Not only is Europe fixed, but the recession is now off the table. That’s right, everyone has deduced that there is no fear of European insolvency or recession anymore because Belgium nationalized Dexia. Forget about Italy, Spain and THE PIGS. This market is running higher because it’s not 2008.

Because we are NOT in 2008 and find ourselves in 2011, stocks are ceiling-less. John Paulson is on the verge of breaking the fuck out to the upside, as the banks are poised, mind you, to soar the fuck higher, based upon two things.

1. This is not 2008.
2. Belgium nationalized Dexia.

Fuck yeah!

Also, apparently, Apple is worth more with Steve Jobs dead than alive, not so much different than a Mickey Mantle rookie card.

I’m just happy I did not expose myself with my shorts. My late day purchases of RENN and PWRD should ensure that I “go green” yet again today.

As for the bears, guys wandering the Earth looking for despair: you’re gonna lose today. Actually, not only will you lose, your dicks will get chopped off. My apologies to all of the gentlemen and ladies out there for my most abhorrent usage of the English language.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention this unbelievable note of importance and substance: CHINA IS NO LONGER SLOWING. That shit was just rumor mill stuff, fed to the birds, digested, and excreted out onto the windshield of John “creepy as fuck” Chanos.

From the darkest shadows of Wall Street, the WNR grows. It sticks its head out and thrusts forward, as short sellers scurry away for fear of being violated. The WNR acts in defiance of all that is evil and bad, in order to uplift all of those who like it.

The WNR does not shrink in the face of global depression, it rises to the occasion.

In other news, I am awaiting sheer retardation from Alcoa, after le bell. I was up another 0.5% thanks to my, umm, WNR.

The REITS look weak, as well as some retail names. But for the most part, we are grinding here, teasing the bears with a -15. After a 3% rally, this is exactly what the bulls want: a tepid pullback with runners in highly speculative sectors.

Either way, I’m covered. I allocated some coin into PWRD, but nothing too fancy or elaborate. Fuck you if you believe I am using the wrong words to describe my actions, by the way. I can read your peasant minds and know how you think. I can see you sitting there, at your bullshit PC, wishing you knew what the fuck was going on.

The reality is, you don’t know anything because you are genetically inferior. It’s a hard truth but someone needed to tell you. Thank me later.

I am selling out of my CVI position, but holding WNR. I just banked 26% in CVI, inside of one short week. Don’t fuck with me, else risk losing your limbs.

As God is my witness, I pray the skies open up and strike unmitigated fear into the green hearts of the protesters down on Wall Street, via lightening bolts to their skeletal frames. Get out of my city you filthy animals.

All that aside, at some point, this market will need to pullback, taking its big muddy boot off the necks of lowly life forms like “alf44.” When it happens, I will be there, with cigar in hand, to buy the margin liquidations of all of the unseemly people chasing today.

I bought 50,000 PWRD.

I couldn’t help myself. This is my last trade. I swear. I promise.