Not Out of the Woods Yet

I was out all day, partaking in things having to do with time machines and orbital space cannons. While I was out, I saw my portfolio shrink into the bell. This is classic bearshitter attack syndrome, infecting the mind of traders. We need more coke, if we are to make another run.

Having said that, I closed out the day +0.7%, making me a winner in 2 out of the last 3. Nevertheless, I have a lot of ground to make up and will not make any predictions until I see the limbs of my enemies being ripped from their torsos.

I am long stocks like WNR, CVI, OPEN, ATPG, OXY and CLF. I will be just fine in the long term. It’s the next three weeks I need to worry about.

Stay tuned for another diary entry of the bearshitter, Samsonite, tonight.

Full disclosure: I’ve been sleeping this whole time, purposely ignoring the market in order to rest. It’s a long story. In short, I’ve been living the “robot lifestyle” for too long and desperately needed a good 10 hours sleep. Now that I got it out of the way, I should be good for another 2 years.

It looks like the market is bouncing, sans WNR (naturally). Nevertheless, this is a good start. According to The PPT, just 73% of stocks are higher, which leaves room for further buying. Also, only 30% of large cap stocks are rated “buy” or higher. The recent carnage really messed up the technicals, something I intend to spit on daily. But I know that many of you lazy types, who avoid reading 10-q’s like the plague, enjoy it.

Right now I am focused on accumulating TNA, in order to capture the initial rally; that’s very important to me. Buying individual stocks is fantastic. However, as you can see by WNR today, sometimes they trade retarded. Buying a broad based ETF is a smart thing to do when you want to capture that initial move.

Dear Diary,

I made some good money in the market today. I know this is it. We are finally going to crash. My portfolio is all in FAZ, SRS, SKF and TZA. I fucking can’t believe people are still buying stocks. I mean, with everything that’s going on, you’d have to be a real cocksucking asshole to buy stocks. Heck, even Cramer is bearish now. Maybe he will FINALLY get one right.

I was on Twitter a lot today, talking to like minded people. That fucking asshole “The Fly” kept making fun of bears. The real asshole is him, because he is losing whatever money he has left. What a douche. There is no way that guy is real. He is probably paper trading from his mother’s basement. ROFL.

After Twitter, I was trolling around the Yahoo message boards, warning people of the coming depression. It seems there are only a few people who REALLY get it, like Tyler from Zerohedge (OMG, love that guy, no homo) and Karl Denninger. However, why does he spell Carl with a K? I always found that odd.

Anyway, tomorrow I am sure the assholes at the Fed will try to prop up the markets; but it won’t work. People are on to them! I am taking my girlfriend to the movies and then dinner tomorrow. She wants to go to this really expensive place; but I don’t have the money for it. I am just gonna say “they had no room at the expensive place, so hey let’s go here instead.”  Hopefully the market will really tank so I can make back some of my losses. God knows I will never make it all back.

FUCKING ASSHOLES.

I had SRS and SKF above $200 and I still own them. Those people at Ultra Funds and Direxion should be arrested and their testicles cut off or eaten off by hungry dogs for the shit they did to me.

Anyway, I am gonna go watch some tv now, then play some video games.

with love,

Samsonite

It’s been a painful two weeks. My losses are many; but my spirit is just fine. Retrospect is the vision of degenerate losers. However, if I could do it again, I would have take a drive in the FAZmobile and chowed down (lion king) on extinct mammals, like many of you. Instead, I’ve been jailed inside a belief system that has made me lots of money. In the big scheme of things, it’s just a few weeks, right?

But look at the carnage in the banks, trannies and tech. It is gruesome, almost as ugly as Jim Cramer wearing a dress and high heels.

Nevertheless, I am a contrarian at heart, but survivalist from the beginning. I sold out of LOGI. It was a non-essential name, tossed in there for novelty. I booked another 10% loss.

Like I said, the losses can pile up to the moon, for I know, one day, I will be right. Granted, the Dow Jones Industrial Average might be trading at 33, or even lower. But I will get my bounce. I can see it now. Me just sitting there, with no more than $15 left in the market, elated to finally see my prophecies come to fruition. By that time, most of you will be dead or paralyzed, from the civil war part 2. But it would be a sight to see, indeud.

For the day, I bled out some more, about 1%. Being that I was up 1.5% yesterday, hell, I am up from yesterday.

Into the close, for my personal, I added to an earlier purchase of TNA. The way I figure, what better way to express myself than through the fuckery of a 3x super-retardo upside ETF?

There isn’t any.

Okay, people aren’t honing into the most important story of the day: OPEC is fractured.

They’ve been able to get along amidst wars, revolutions and hostage situations, but not now. Why?

Two fold: they are afraid that their circle headdresses will catch bullets. And, secondly, they do not want to increase supply, mainly because they like money.

Fair enough?

They figure this house of cards will collapse anyway. So why the fuck should they push oil prices lower? It’s negligible in the big scheme of sovereign disasters.

Having said that, at least in the interim, I love oil and gas stocks.

My largest holdings in the sector are OXY and ATPG. I initiated a new position in CLR today. But there are many more worth looking at. If the market bounces, this sector will be on fucking fire.

Here are the top 5 rated basic material stocks in The PPT.

APA, SWN, PXP, WRES and KWK.

Here are the top rated stocks with highest short positions.

KWK, CRZO, NOG, CRR and RES

Let’s clarify a few things, just so that we are on the same page.

I’ve been managing money for many, many years, enjoying success and enduring failures, all part and parcel of risk. Fortunately, I’ve had a lot more peaks than troughs, as many of my readers can attest to, visiting here throughout the years.

I do not like losing money. When I lose money, I get very, very moody. As such, my patience for your snarky comments is at an all-time low. I don’t care how long you’ve been reading the site, leaving little comments along the way. If you get out of line, you’re fucking banned. I will not offer safe quarter to any of you, only black flags and Greg Solomon videos.

Being banned from the site means you will not be able to access it. Should you attempt to find methods around my circle of death, I will invent new ones. You will not win, only lose, as it is in your nature.

You need to know, I am not here for you. I am not your investment manager and do not offer financial advice to any cretin on the web-o-sphere. Consider what you see here a television show, or better yet a movie. When you watch Batman jump off a skyscraper, landing on his feet as if it was a fucking garage to sidewalk drop, you don’t emulate him, do you?

In short, I am Batman; you are guy with popcorn. Fuck with me and I will come out of the movie screen, snatch your popcorn, and toss you out of the theatre.

UPDATE: I bought 3,000 TNA

In another attempt at suicide, I started a position in CLR.

The global markets are in a state of sheer panic now, thanks to the monstrous jobs report of +54k reported in the United Steaks of America last week. Investors, in between joy rides in their smart cars, have been forced to sell equities, based upon the premise that the “double dip recession” is all but a foregone conclusion(apparently, there is no statute of limitations on declaring a “double dip recession,” no matter how long it has been since the last recession). In the event next month’s jobs number are good (heaven forbid), the smart cars will stop again and everyone will pile back into equities, like a herd of jackasses running towards a mirage.

The people from the teevee have given up hope, declaring this market “toxic” thanks to that heinous and barbaric +54k jobs report.

Just yesterday, we had a decent rally going; but then all of a sudden, a monster of sorts appeared—frightening everyone out of the markets. As this monster ROARED and THUNDERED throughout Wall Street, investors sashayed in and out of stocks, like dogs chasing feathers attached to their tails. By the end of the day, most investors cowered under the beds or in their respective closets, sending the Dow lower for a 6th consecutive day.

Over in Europe, as you read this, they are fleeing from stocks, like little Greeks running from Turks. Indices are down more than 1%, effectively sending our futures lower. The sad and grotesque reality is: there is no future.

All in all, the stage is set for another day of hedonistic adventures, as the usual cast of actors and actresses make their way down to the NYSE. All of the tiny, itsy, bitsy day traders are ready to go “FAZzing” and most, if not all, have declared this market to be deader than reason and democracy inside of any middle eastern country of your choosing.

Lights…cameras…action!

Whatever was left in the comments section last night, I reviewed. All emails or tweets were fucking ignored.

Loveknots4baby.com: Sorry, but this is some chick-shit that garners zero interest from me. The web design is decent and the quality looks okay, but still “chick-shit.” Grade C

Fortune Formula: This is actually a decent blog. However, it gets tossed into a flaming barrel of garbage because it’s never updated. Seriously, why bother blogging if you are not going to commit? The author has good command over the English language, seems intelligent and somewhat focused. However, by looking at the cookie cutter site design and lack of editing of his blog roll, I know for a fact that he doesn’t really give a shit and will not be blogging this time next year. Grade C+

Economic Disconnect: Okay, the site design here is atrocious and the author is clearly just blogging for fun. Sifting through the articles, I’m guessing he is young and somewhat interesting. He is definitely too much all over the road. If he wants to take his little bloggy to the next level, he will need to focus on a theme and run hard with it. Otherwise, it will end up in the circular file. Grade B-

Stop Having a Boring Life: I love this blog and read it often. The author is literally insane and has left the civilized world for cashew trees in West Africa or fucked up hostels in seedy Eastern European towns. Through his travels, he has received a healthy dose of malaria and devoured the heart of a King Cobra. What’s not to like? Grade A+

Parabolic Market: This is a new blog and I am not sure if the author will keep it going for much longer. My hunch tells me he is simply moonlighting with this shit out of boredom. The author is iBC’s Gappingandyapping and his topic is internet/hardware/software security. Basically, if you are a nerd and love to learn about the importance of security, this shit is for you. I know my IT guy worships this guy, since he is a true Jedi-Master in all things to do with servers. As a matter of fact, he has helped iBC on numerous occasions, after Vincenzo dropped vats of olive oil all over iBC’s low grade server rack. Nevertheless, I’m deducting credits because I hate the design and LOATHE the tiny fonts. It’s almost unreadable.  Grade B+

Rick Js Handicapping Picks: The site was a little slow to load. Get your server game up. Wow, this site is fucking retarded. I don’t even know what the author is talking about. Fuck this shit. Grade F

Trader Digs: I kind of like this guy, even though he says like 3 things every 2 months. He is not committed to the blog game and therefore is tossed into the flaming barrel of garbage. Grade D

AskChrisTrades: Upon hitting this site, my anti-virus alerted me to some seedy shit. Clean out the page. There is nothing worse than presenting yourself as some sort of fucked up cookie globlin, infecting the computers of those who visit you. This guy is committed to making vids and seems to have his shit together. If it was me, I’d lose the “donate” button. It makes you look small. Actually, I’d redesign the whole site, since I hate black as a background. I’d certainly remove any reference that asks people to click on ads too. Let me tell you something, blogging is entirely fruitless, unless you have a business model, something that is scalable. This guy needs to clean up the site and focus more on traffic, less on making small change on ads. Grade B-

StockRake: This guy could have a popular blog if he fucking updated it. I like his direct style and organization. I hate the lack of commitment and design. Grade B-

Smart Money Tracker: This is an elite blog. A lot of people tell me about it; but I never seem to find time to visit it. The author is a true boss man and deserves a fucking web design upgrade. Plus, why is he on blogger? Would he like to move over to iBC? Just asking. Grade A+

Trading Nymph: Obsessive-compulsive comes to mind. The author talks to herself, as evidenced by hundreds of unanswered comments in her blogs. STOP DOING THAT. People might find out that you are crazy. She is definitely committed. However, she lacks the proper syntax and paragraph structure to keep me interested.  Grade C

DigiCha: Super smart guy, focusing on Chinese stocks listed in America. Actually, I believe he is an American living in China, eating it all up. Aside from Chinese listed stocks, the author is a reservoir of news and information regarding China. If you are interested in knowing what those red fuckers are up to, this is a must read. Grade A

Actionable Finance: I see where he is trying to go with this site. But the idea is not unique and he definitely needs some better IT support. Grade C

Pharma Pricing: I  can tell the author is very intelligent and probably good at his profession. However, his blog is not updated enough to qualify for the hallowed halls of iBC consideration. Therefore, I declare it to be an ABOMINATION. Grade D+

Jim Rogers Blog: What sort of fucked up blog name is that? That’s like me starting a site called “JIM CRAMERS ALERTS.” Oops, nevermind.  This guy is OBSESSED with the bow tie man. If you like Jim Rogers, you will like this blog. Grade B+

Dough.pro Again, my anti-virus alert popped up when I reached this site. Clean it up. Beautiful web design. However, it’s basically a premium service where people “buy an idea” for like $5. Totally absurd and will never work. Grade D+

What Would Tyler Durden Do: I suppose this is Zerohedge’s gay twin brother’s gossip site? Well executed. Great design. But it’s a fucking gossip site. Grade B-

RipeTrade: I am sure Woodshedder would love this site. It’s a solid offering. However, once again, the author doesn’t update it regularly. Plus, it’s on a fucking blogger page and the web design is psychopathic. To the trash bin it goes. Grade D+

Wealth Intact: Decent offering. However, HE DOESN’T FUCKING UPDATE THE BLOG. Are you people kidding me? Bring your A game or go home crying. Grade D-

The USED Project: Are you kidding me? Grade F-

Squidoo: This is like some retarded study blog, where the author gratuitously talks about Canada, as if that shit was special. Grade F

Scootwan: Some bullshit fitness blog that is NEVER updated. Marc David kicks your ass. Grade F-

Stock Trading Investments: I like where this is going. It’s sort of a Huffington Post for finance, with a twist. Now make it interesting and you have a blog. Work in progress. Grade B

Dave-Lucas: ABOMINATION. Virus Alert, psychopath blog. Grade F–

As investors await for THE BEARDED CLAM to have a word, their hands are clammy, because they are not sure of themselves. They walk around without purpose, unsure about everything stemming from pictures of their cocks to directional positions in the market. This is where I separate myself from the pack. I do not think my positions will trade higher, I know it. While the stock Gods plague me with black magic, I deviate ever so slightly in order to stay in the game, assuring myself of future success. This is accomplished by reducing leverage or eliminating it and tossing non-essential holdings into flaming barrels of garbage.

Despite today’s tepid action, I am pleased with the sharp spike in refinery stocks, namely ALJ, CVI and WNR. As you know, much of my personal and managed assets depend on the day to day volatility of the refiners. Thanks to rising spreads, I have received a respite.

Separate from that, the general tone of the market is very disappointing. We had a very nice rally going and people sold into it. At the top of the crap heap are the banks: horrible pinless hand grenade action there.

POST BERNANKE speech:

It sounds as if the Fed Chairman is still concerned about the economy and will continue to accommodate. Furthermore, he says THERE IS NO INFLATION. As a result of this demented way of thinking, do not be surprised if he ushers in another round of quantitative easing.

All in all, I have to be long here. I have no choice and will deal with the consequences later, should my bullish position end up being a loser.