Quick Alert: Half Out

In light of today’s intra-day “fuck you, you’re dead” trading, I took time out of my vacation to sell out half of my equity holdings. I sold my largest position, EMN, as well as CLF and KBH. With DECK spiraling lower here, on no fucking news, my appetite for equity is little to none. Earlier on I was tempted to go long Sept calls in DECK and maybe a bit more WNR. However, I am going to respect The PPT here and opt out of any shopping sprees, in exchange for cash.

My cash position is now 50%.

UPDATE: I bought a TZA stock/call position as a hedge.

After an early melt-up, it appears to me the market is flat footed here, about to get kicked down a flight of spiked stairs, lined with mustard. My DECK position is getting poleaxed and WNR has given up most of its early gains.

The fundies for the refiners continue to strengthen, as crack spreads widen even further this morning, off of reported gasoline shortages throughout the country. Don’t forget, we’re entering the wonderful and magical season of hurricanes, where cities get torn to shit by “angry” thunderstorms on steroids and crack-cocaine.

Up in the civilized part of the United States, NYC, we do not “enjoy” such weather. Instead, we get to “enjoy” homeless men spraying urine and feces onto open food buffets.

Bottom line: the market isn’t healthy just yet. We need to meander around a bit and get rid of weak hands. I suspect after a little basing out around these levels, we will be able to launch higher again, just in time for September—identical to last year.

This post is about absolutely nothing. The goal here is to clear the uprising that took place, in the previous post, and feature some fantastic music.

Enjoy!

Okay, I am going out on a limb here, at the risk of upsetting my emotional friend, Senator Gint. Aside from Romney, the current roster of republican candidates are UNELECTABLE. More so, if Mitt is NOT nominated, or HERMAN CO-CAINE, I will be voting for Prezident O’bama again.

Ask me why, I fucking dare you.

First of all, Bachmann is an idiot on a wide array of issues. Do I really need to delve into detail, seriously? Rick Perry is a bible toting simpleton, who will endorse BIG fucking oil, as if that shit was oxygen. Plus anyway, didn’t he run Al Gore’s Texas campaign many moons ago? I say NO to RINOS every time. And, let’s not ignore his asinine comments on the beloved BEARDED CLAM. Take issue with me on this, I don’t give a fuck. I will NOT vote for anyone who is hating on the Fed. For the love of half bibles and abandoned churches, the Fed is all we have here on Wall Street. Fuck these politicians.

I would LOVE to say President Co-caine, over and over again. Herman is a mathematician and majored in Physics. He is like Obama, but only smarter and knows shit about life, and business. He wants to eliminate cap gains. Okay, maybe that didn’t hit you right away, so I’ll say it again. He wants to put capital gains taxes at ZERO percent, FOREVER. And, to boot, he wants to lower income tax to 25%, again permanently. Sadly, the media treats him like he is the former owner of a fucking chicken restaurant.

Santorum wants to arrest women who abort babies conceived by way of rape, as does Bachman. These fuckers don’t recognize that DNA can be transferred from one person to the next, because, well, God makes everyone, right? These fucking religious zealots are insane.

Lastly, there is Mitt. He is our final hope. However, the fucking hillbillies don’t like him because he’s a mormon and likes to keep 4-5 wives around, doing the dishes, baking him banana bread.

Just like last election, I will vote against the republicans for fielding such a stupid roster. They do not deserve to win. Obama is the worst President since Bush II and he will win thanks to the pathetic state of the GOP.

Out with business minded people, in with the fucking bible teachers.

Fuck off.

For the first time in iBC history, I am requesting you give me a market update. Where I am, there is no such thing as iPhones and normal carriers, only roaming shit that makes the transfer of data cumbersome. My only outlet to information, or a phone, is via the apartment I am renting.

I request the following:

Full market update, not just the bearish stuff CRONKITE has been posting lately. And, I want to hear all of the lovely rumors being purported by the dicksuckers on Twitter.

As for me, I am getting my conch and George Hamilton on. By the time I leave here, people will think I am native. Shit is so expensive out here, you’d think it was exclusive for rich folk only. Oh, wait, it is reserved for rich folk only.

For the day, I shed 2.1%—mostly thanks to DECK and WNR.

You guys should all gather around the fireside tonight and concoct some brand-fucking-new SocGen rumors. Or, you can make some shit up about MS or C, both stocks suck. As you know, rumors are only lies if proven so.

It appears I am off by 2% at the moment.

Back to the beach.

If you choose the path of risk aversion, there is nothing wrong with raising cash here. We’ve had a nice run over the past week and a pullback is expected. However, if you’re like me, against any and all bearshitters, you look at this and say “PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF”, we’re going the fuck higher.

I have every reason to believe the Dow can decline by 100-250 points from here. Moreover, I expect to give back 5% of my recent gains. But, again, fellow plebs of the interworld, this is part of the game. Losses must be absorbed in order to achieve supreme winship.

As the clowns fire themselves out from carnivale cannons, “The Fly” will remain calm and collected and impose his will on the markets, whenever the opportunity presents itself. For example: GSVC.

Remember, the basis of the panic stemmed from Italian and Spanish 10yr yields. When the market started dropping, fuckers started making up rumors and outright lying and/or guessing about things, begetting more panic. Human emotion is ridiculous, especially when trying to make rational decisions in the stock market. However, eventually, the good guys win.

UPDATE: I bought KBH.

If you were up 16% prior to the collapse and now have a 10% gain post crash, book it and buy yourself something new.

As for me, I’m not done pushing the envelope. However, that might change with the tenor of the news.

You’ve already inserted your ironworks into the hearts of your foes. You have nothing more to prove, other than outer celestial supreme winship. But let’s face it, your DNA isn’t built for that. Please, leave that shit for SENOR TROPICANA, as it is his destiny to live large over all the little, itsy, bitsy brained plebbed out money managers. No one is better.

As you know, “The Fly” cares not to share his vacation details with the likes of you, for fears many of you will swarm my complex with autograph requests. I intend to unwind a bit here and the market is certainly making life easier.

Ladies and Gents,

The panic is over. I told you to get back to getting drunk and buying stocks again. The ruling elite will have their way and there is nothing you or your idiot friends from Zeroedge can do about it.

As for me, it appears I regained another 2.4% today, led by gains in WNR, BEE and EMN—putting my YTD gains above 10% again. Without being smug or rubbing in my winship into your losership wounds, I sincerely hope you learned a lesson from this debacle. Many of you got mudstomped out near the bottom, only to see the market humiliate the bears in the most amusing and whimsical way possible. The sky is never falling. It’s your fucking brains on drugs and you need to get off them.

Believe you me, I try my best to direct you without overstepping the line between benevolent dictator and authoritarian. However, should you fuckers keep losing the way you do, I will have no choice but to intern you or banish you from “The Island of Fly” for eternity.

Blessings from some place with lots of bullshit sand and water.

You know how I know we are going higher? Because you’re unable to answer the fucking question. From baker to faker, everyone is doom and gloom. It’s so easy to tear down a house, much harder to build one. “The Fly” is not a permabull; he just likes to bet against you. I am a fucking dragon, breathing fire down on your trading systems, burning your anatomy to a cinder.

I depart for an undisclosed Caribbean island tomorrow for the explicit purposes of having a face to face meeting with my VooDoo Magician Physician. Fuck around with me this week and end up on the receiving end of needles in your head.

While there will be many goats, pigs and chickens sacrificed, in my name, for the benefit of my purse (NO HOMO), many of you can hitch a ride onto my coattails, for they are very long. I know exactly what I am doing and have full control of my near term destiny.

Instead of offering ideas and specific actionable investment picks, I will leave you with a poem of sorts. These words shall live with you forever and ever, then kill the enemies of your great, great, great, great, great, great grandson, many centuries from now.

The stock market is nothing like a stupid chart,
Filled with bullshit dots and lines;
It yanks on your balls and a stabs you in the heart
And it will make you write poems with rhymes.

Never fret what you cannot understand,
And remember to never call in sick;
For that bitch of a whore Mother Market might command
All of your money, hair and your dick.

Fly- 2011