Fuck AIG

Seriously, dude, the fact that AIG is being permitted to “gift” $165 million in bonuses makes me want to take a pitchfork and throw it, mind you, through my local congressman, if you know what I mean.

On top of that, we find out tonight, via bullshit AIG disclosure, that American tax payers dished out $170 billion dollars, thus far, not to just bail out the fuckers at GS, but loads of foreign dickfaces, clamoring for U.S. dollars.

Societe Generale, Deutsche Bank, Barclays and scores of foreign banks are eating caviar on your buck. Oh, and Goldman Ball Sachs received more than all of them, close to $13 billion. Well done Secretary Paulson.

In other words, we bailed out AIG, to save the bond guys at Pimpco or whoever is long AIG paper, and GS. Without government funds, GS would be trading close to $00.00.

Fuckers. Fuck AIG, Fuck GS, and fuck taxes.

Fuck, fuck, fuck fuckitty, fuck.

NOTE: Cronkite has the breakdown of U.S. funds deposited into foreign purses.

ACC, HME, MAC and WRI.

Full report on The PPT. So sorry for you ingrate/stingy cow fuckers.

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I’ve got shit to do here. I told you fuckers last week that this week I’d be busy with a major career move. Lo and behold, what do you do? You fuckers are peppering me with emails and leaving dumbass comments on this insanely successful website.

For the week, I made a lot of money, just in time for some home renovations and “illegal Mexican” hiring. Life is good in THE HOUSE OF FLY. The wine is strong and my balls swing low.

All you lolly pop sucking assholes have serious “identity issues,” always surfing the web and talking shit to complete strangers. I, on the other hand, pay myself $100,000 per month, to blog on iBankCoin, because taking anyone else’s money is just plain stupid.

In closing, I wish some of you a good weekend. The rest of you can go fuck yourselves, with a baseball bat made from cacti.

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Well, this pertains to baseball. However, it’s all the same.

I don’t care what the market does from here. I could care less what you fucking homos are saying on “Twitter,” regarding new buys/sells. I’ve successfully defeated the worst market in 1,000 years, booking gains of more than 60% last year and 25%, so far, year to date.

As far as I am concerned, the only advice that I should be taking is from Senor Tropicana, Plutonium Petey and or course HORATIO CLAWHAMMER, or MR. CLAWHAMMER to you.

The action in oil is very bullish, I must admit. If I were you, and I most certainly am not, I would resist shorting oil here, for something is amiss.

I try to reason with many of you, explaining the intricacies of the market and how to make money using gray matter. But, all you fuckers seem to understand is “FUCK YOU, YOU’RE DEAD” jargon. So, with that in mind, I will tell you, at this moment in time, going long now, following the recent run, is equal to putting your cock inside a mini guillotine, thinking your manhood is made from 100% tungsten steel.

If forced to buy something, I’d look into a little UNH action, down at these levels, considering HUM is ripping. Other than that, “The Fly” is all about eating sandwiches and mocking degenerate OTB guys, while throwing jumping jacks from the backseat of a stretch, 1980’s style, limousine.

As you know, I keep it old school.

I went to 100% cash or as close as I can get, barring some long term positions.

I sold all of my JRJC, between $9.47-9.77

I sold all of my LOGI, between $8.77-8.80

I sold all of my AXP, between $12.93-13.17

I sold all of my KIM, between $9.27-9.35

I sold all of my PCR, between $12.51-12.70

I sold all of my NTGR, north of $11.05.

And, finally, I sold all of my UYM, between $10.07-10.20.

NOTE: Today concludes week 1 of iBC’s March Madness Contest. If I had someone competent enough to manage it, you’d be getting updates and shit. You know, keep you in the loop. Nonetheless, just know, “The Fly” vanquished his round 1 opponent and will be moving onto round 2, indeud.

Everyone in the business knows CNBC is full of shit. But now it’s getting interesting, as regular folk start to see through their bullshit, which will inevitably result in the networks demise. Write it down.

Tonight Jim Cramer embarrassed himself, with hat in hand, as a guest on the Jon Stewart show. Seriously, dude, why fucking going on the show, if you are going to act like a pussy?

Cramer allowed himself to be humiliated for no good reason. I have never seen anything like it.

Personally, I was emphatic about seeing this interview, due to the assholishness broadcasted on CNBC day and night— who regularly apologize for corporate criminals and first class douchebags. In an odd twist of irony, mixed with woeful inadequacy on behalf of the media, it took a fucking clown on a Comedy channel to bring Cramer into the public view, to deliver a much deserved “he-man bitch slap.”

Finally.

UPDATE: Here is the Stewart vs. Cramer vid.

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Okay, we caught a 10% jump off the lows. My gut says we rally until May. However, we will not run up in a vertical line. So, with that in mind. I sold out of my entire TNA position, in an effort to decouple myself from 300% upside etf fuckery.

Selling TNA gives me some buying power to nibble on other names. But, I would rather wait for a pullback, considering we are still in a bear market and all. Right now, my cash position is north of 60% and my gains are north of 23% aka “more than you.”

God willing, the market gaps up tomorrow, enabling Senor Tropicana to sell more of his well timed longs, just in time for a glorious weekend.

NOTE: My AXP ripped higher, despite multiple downgrades. Fuck you Goldman. Fuck you Citi.