Stocks are for Asshats

It’s not just U.S. stocks that blow goat balls. Stocks suck on a global scale. There is no respite, when in the “funnel of fun death.”

Currently, I am just waiting for shoes to drop, while our moronic secretary of treasury, Geithner, twiddles with his thumbs while the country burns. As sure as I am sitting here, at some point this year, the S&P 500 will print 500. Nonetheless, I still believe in the notion that it is possible to enjoy a counter trend rally, prior to the markets death sentence is executed.

Not to get all political and shit, but Obama is out of control with his fucking plans. Seriously, dude, he is out of control and must be stopped. You cannot raise taxes and increase spending at the same time. More importantly, you cannot raise taxes on cap gains and dividends, while the market is crashing.

Asshats!

As an aside, storage related reits are toast, specifically EXR, SSS, YSI and even PSA. You may want to lean on those fuckers, whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Nevertheless, I am still waiting for a rally. Perhaps I will sit here, in my non-bullshit chair, for a long, long time.

UPDATE: Kudos to Cramer for calling Erin Burnett out for minimizing the recent decline. It’s about time someone set these morons straight.

I bought 15,000 PCR, in the $11.20’s.

Disclaimer: If you buy PCR because of this post, your neighbors dog will take daily dumps on your lawn. And, you may lose money.

There are certain laws of physics and natural order that mustn’t be disrupted. Along with gravity and angular momentum, The Laws of “The Fly” are to be respected at all times.

Watching Warren Buffett carry water for Obama this morning, while disagreeing with pretty much all of his policies, was shameful of him.

SHAME ON THE HOUSE OF BUFFETT.

Then, there was that idiot, Erin Burnett, telling her audience that some stocks were up, since the previous lows of November. In other words, she is painting the pig with gold. It’s fucking ridiculous already, with these CNBC people. They are just lying and hurting, lying and hurting, while cashing their fucking checks at the bank.

Cha-ching.

One thing is for certain: the era of paying rich dividends is over. One of my sources of laughter always came from publicly traded companies attempting to fleece and/or jack up the share prices, via issuing fat dividends or by way of share buybacks.

Case in point: XOM. Without XOM criminally manipulating their share price, via a 15 bill share buyback, the stock would be in the $40’s. Either way, XOM is still going to trade $45. However, before it does, the assholes who run XOM, like other U.S. corporations, will burn through cash, needlessly, via buybacks, in an effort to “save the share price.”

Again, XOM only has $6 in cash.

Finally, despite all of you grave yard fuckers, circle jerking to the end of times, I like stocks here. Don’t fuck with me; I’m much smarter than you and your stupid friends, combined.

Into this rally, I like PCR, FWLT, TNA, CY, JRJC, JNPR and many others.

Fuck all of you coffin lovers. Me and my boy Swan are going to make some money soon, on the long side.

Despite this economy being the laughing stock of the world, it’s still not the shitter, like  Russia and Europe, if you know what I mean. Quite simply, the rest of the world is deserving of a few hundred cluster bombs, dropped on their respective domes (you can use that phrase straight up or street slang, whichever you prefer).

While it’s true, President Obama is death to the markets, mainly because he is continuing and accelerating the bullshit policies of Bush. It’s also true that humans like to feel good about themselves, every so often. So, with the warm weather coming in and gas prices nice and cheap, we may be set up here for one fuck of a rally.

Either way, I will not invest more than 50% of my assets on the long side. Nonetheless, into a rally, you might want to bottom fish some cheap stocks, like PCR, ERTS, TTWO, CLF or fuck around with some levered etf’s UYM and TNA.

Believe me, I am tempted to buy 100,000 GE at these levels. However, their finance arm, GE Capital, is a fucking black box. I cannot put money into a black box.

For the most part, I want no part of the banks.

Other dice rolls include, but not exclusive to, UNH, HUM, FWLT, FLR, JNPR, WFR and ATHR.

UPDATE: Denninger is on fucking fire tonight.

Shut up, asshole.

It’s that time of year: iBC’s March Madness Contest.

Go sign up now. We will be handing out awards to the winners.

If you recall, no one received an award last year because “The Fly” himself embarrassed you fuckers and won the whole damn thing.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieDrKJTXI9E 450 300]

This is funny as shit, yet gay, all at the same time.

Longs were saved today, as mysterious buy orders flooded the market into the close. God bless George Bush’s PPT.

I sold out of my ISRG and kept TNA, UYM, JRJC and CY.

Where will the market go next? Who the fuck knows. I’m just glad this fucking asinine week is over.

NOTE: Sometime this weekend, for PPT subs, I will be posting an update on the fucked state of commercial Re. Thus far, my “Reverse Four Horsemen of Certain Death,” FRT, ESS, MAC and SLG have done incredibly well, providing you were short. I have a new list of names worth murdering.

Stay tuned.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0qIqrJ4xxA 450 300]

I sold 2,500 shares of ISRG @ $94.