Today’s Winship: The PPT Made Me Do It

For more information on how NOT to be a pathetic loser, join The PPT for shameless detail.

UPDATE: “The Fly” is celebrating today’s wins, by way of drinking 40 ounces of malt liquor, letting off some rounds from my gun, while listening to this shit—REAL LOUD—in the richest part of Staten Island. LOL!!! I done lost my mind!!!

UPDATE II: Into strength, I sold out of TerreStar Corporation [[TSTR]] , Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] , Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] and TeleCommunication Systems, Inc. [[TSYS]] . In other words, I raised some cash, by way of selling out of some of my bullshit stocks.

Pete Rose could hit the ball in between the arm pits of the second basemen for a base hit. Joe Montana could bounce a football off the helmet of the defending free safety, into the arms of his WR for a touchdown. “The Fly” can bank coin in the stock market, even if the stock market was reduced to some sort of open source gambling machine, run by big brokerage firm robots.

In order to make money in this market, similar to learning how to jump rooftop to rooftop in the Matrix, you have to clear your mind of all the tomfoolery and slap your assistant in the face with a ham sandwich.

At this point, “The Fly” isn’t looking or “monitoring” over his positions; he is simply “glossing” over them. I took a quick glance at them, about 5 minutes ago, and I am impressed. Gosh darn it I am good. For the love of defective brake pads, I am cleaning up.

At the moment, I still love the natty trade, long Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , Hercules Offshore, Inc. [[HERO]] and GMX Resources Inc. [[GMXR]] . Moreover, within tech, my favorites are Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] , General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] , Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] , [[RAX]] and [[ENTR]] . My latest buy, Spartech Corporation [[SEH]] , looks great too. Despite being content, bullish like Ned Riley, at any moment, I may decide to raise cash and lock in sweet, delicious victory.

Stay tuned.

Closed out the day, up another 2.5%—long Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Holly Corporation [[HOC]] , Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] , American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]] , Spartech Corporation [[SEH]] , DryShips Inc. [[DRYS]] , Hercules Offshore, Inc. [[HERO]] , Barnes & Noble, Inc. [[BKS]] , Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] , Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] , Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] , [[RAX]] , [[CBD]] , Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] and many more.

Time to celebrate early, in asking for a jinx sort of way, via large glasses of red.

I’ll be the first to admit: I chase price action to the upside, and to the downside. However, I consider it to be an attribute, not a flaw. I don’t try to buck the trend, at all times, just occasionally. Generally, I take the fatty middle out of the market and eat it all up. With regards to natural gas: you’d have to be a sprinkling idiot to short it here. I mean, if I saw any of you fucktards shorting natty here, I’d run up to you and punch you in the face with a lemon merengue pie.

Instead of messing with broken ETF’s, like [[UNG]] , try your hand at some cheap natural gas stocks—for a trade.

My favorite natty stocks are Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , GMX Resources Inc. [[GMXR]] , Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] and for the fuck of it NGAS Resources, Inc. [[NGAS]] . There are many other stocks worth perusing, like Southwestern Energy Company [[SWN]] , Range Resources Corp. [[RRC]] and Canadian Natural Resource Ltd (USA) [[CNQ]] . Howsoever, I like the aggressive degenerate names, all thanks and praise to my genetic defects for that characteristic trait.

I hate to pound the drums of war, despite truly loving to do so, in egregious fashion. But, I must say, Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] looks poised to steamroll the embedded shorts, without mercy—sans warning.

In short, the commodity trades are in vogue: why not fuck around with the only commodity that is still cheap?

Indeud.

I bought 10,000 DryShips Inc. [[DRYS]] @ $6.90 and 2,500 Spartech Corporation [[SEH]] @ $11.37.

UPDATE: I bought 5,000 Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] @ $1.97

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the Italian mafia will target you for extortion. And, you may lose money.

It’s 2006 all over again. The inflation trade is alive and well. Moreover, we are in the midst of a profound technology revolution—one that is comparable to the dot com era. I will have you know, my blackberry mobile device fell victim to an egregious water hose this weekend. Some asshole, whose name will remain private (HORATIO CLAWHAMMER), went bananas with the water hose, while in the backyard. As a result, my blackberry is dead. Fucking dead as a doorknob.

The good news: to be very candid, I don’t give a fuck. People like to talk too much. Everyone is a socialite these days, always wanting to party, always wanting to make friends. Fuck you and your friends. I am much more interested in making enough money, so that I can build my own people, made from robots, which will be manufactured by the God fearing folks at FOXCONN, of course.

As for today’s tape, expect more of the same. The market is an easy buy, especially on dips. All earnings estimates will be SHATTERED, thanks in large part to free money and a fucked up government. Be that as it may, I will exploit the criminality and build houses with the profits.

Top picks: Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , DryShips Inc. [[DRYS]] (lit m-80), General Cable Corporation [[BGC]]

I’ve had my share of blow-ups, being a manager of other people’s money, as well as my own, throughout the years, dating back to 1995 or so. Long ago, I believed the only way to get rich was to put all of my eggs in one basket, then watch that basket carefully—a la Carnegie.

Using that approach, building mammoth positions in a select few stocks, I “enjoyed” massive winship, right alongside HORRIFIC “losedom.” Being young and clinically insane, I put all of my personal savings in America Online, prior to the big-dicked moves in the stock. I was, in a word, NOTTOBEFUCKEDWITH.

Luckily, for my sake, AOL aka AMER turned out to be a once in a lifetime winner, returning several thousand percent my original investment.

Fast forward a dozen years, I am far more timid with my positioning. Generally speaking, I don’t allocate more than 10% of overall capital to any single name. However, from time to time, like in the case of my famous Microvision, Inc. [[MVIS]] position, I make exceptions.

At the present, I have a rather large and stubborn position in Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] . “The Fly” of 12 years ago would have been doubling down on this stupid bastard of a stock, all the way to $1.50. However, for what I have going on, blessed by the stock Gods with large dicked gains, I have zero motivation to swing for the fences. My buy orders are small, thanks in large part to my 70% year to date returns, on top of the 60% in 2008, on top of the 27% in 2007. You get my drift.

If you insist on building large positions (anything more than 20% of assets), be sure to know what the fuck you are doing. I know someone who lost over $2million in a certain penny stock, back in 2007, due to him chasing the stock lower out of ego. As a matter of fact, this man never researched the stock he was putting his net worth into. Back then, the market was so easy. Every single oil and gas stock was doubling and tripling in a period of months. So, he just, sort of, bellied up to the plate and went “all in” on a name he knew nothing about. Despite my daily warnings, he kept buying and ended up losing 75% of his net worth in a bullshit scam stock.

Don’t be a fucking asshat. The market is designed to fleece fuckers like you (the general retail investor).

Bottle of Bordeaux—Check

Reservations for Steakhouse—Check

Wad of cash for egregious items that Mrs. Fly wants to buy—Check

More on this later.

UPDATE: I have a headache.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vdzKRwbAXw 616 500]

Oh, the pain is just too much. With sweaty palms and a hunched back, you cover your shorts. You cover your shorts, because you are a broken defeated man, with zero sense of how to break out of the mold of mediocrity. Instead of taking responsibility for your own actions, you point fingers at others, accusing them of illegal activities and outright tomfoolery.

The fact of the matter is, you are not built for this game. Oh, no. You are better fit to pick up my morning garbage or clean out public urinals, than invest money on behalf of others, let alone yourself. While it’s treu [sic], you enjoy real cheap commissions, trading via e-trade or Scottrade; however, you are an idiot and blow any such said savings on block-headed transactions.

Do yourself a favor, buy a mutual fund.

As for me, I will continue to bowl on you fuckers, until I am rich enough or too bored to care.

My sole trade today was getting long DryShips Inc. [[DRYS]] .