WIN FOOL’S TAB NOW!!

You didn’t think I’d let the important matter of Henry Fool “imaxing” himself out of the hallowed halls of iBC go without making a big stink, did you?

If you are unaware, Henry Fool fired himself from iBC today, not due to negligence, but sheer stupidity. Here on iBankCoin, I like to uphold a certain level of professionalism, in between dispatching heinous insults to my readers. Because of my standards, I cannot allow someone to blog here, under the distinguished title of “official tabbed blogger of iBC,” and say shit like “BUY IMAX NOW (MOTHERFUCKER OR ELSE I WILL KILL YOUR KIDS AND YOUR PETS) BEFORE THE BELL.”

I cannot allow that, because I am a gentleman of the highest order.

I believe Mr. Fool is a good stock picker and will do well, if he chooses to blog elsewhere. However, he makes me nervous. And, I cannot allow for such grave fuckery to take place, while I am CEO and President and Grande Knight of iBankCoin.

So, let’s cut to the chase. With Mr. Fool gone, I have an opening for “tabbed blogger.” Feel free to jockey for said position, via announcing your candidacy in the Peanut Gallery. Within a week or so, we shall exercise our democratic rights and elect a new tabbed blogger.

As for the market:

Looked good. I made money. More on this tomorrow.

We are getting to a point where the weak companies are starting to underperform the well managed. Since the bottom, pretty much everything went up, in convoy formation. There was no premium put on stock picking, since melt up was contagious. Over the past year, I suspended listening to conference calls, speaking with management, and crunching numbers, because it was pointless. However, I am starting to notice a divergence between the weak and the strong. As a result, I have been putting in a lot of hours again, going over SEC documents, listening to calls and speaking with idiots at investor relations.

As earnings normalize, it’s important to understand what valuations to apply to stocks, with reference to underlying industry. For example, traditionally, semiconductor stocks trade at a premium to industrials and big banks trade at a discount to asset managers. There is a reason why Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] is trading at such a low valuation, as well as Amazon.com, Inc. [[AMZN]] trading so richly. The key is to compare companies within their respective sectors and look for anomalies and/or disconnects from reality.

For example: Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] is trading at a discount to Newell Rubbermaid Inc. [[NWL]] , Whirlpool Corporation [[WHR]] , [[NPK]] and Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Inc. [[MSO]] on a FPE, P/B basis. Why?

Well, we can speculate that other companies are eating into JAH’s shelf space or people are tentative about going long Jarden due to their sensitivity to retail trends. In my opinion, and this is an educated bet, investors are fucking smoking jumbos, selling JAH at 10x eps.

Get your spreadsheets out and start comparing valuations and look for sectors that have earnings power.

Who has earnings power?

Any company that services the global growth story, like Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Eastman Chemical Company [[EMN]] , Lubrizol Corporation [[LZ]] or Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] . Try to avoid niche plays, unless of course you already have ample exposure to leadership stocks. Often times, people fuck themselves by trying to be too smart, via buying dogs. Truth be known, I have done this to myself on numerous occasions. Aside from the crappy stocks that you know me for (FTK, GMXR, SD, etc), I own a plethora of leadership names, like Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , Eastman Chemical Company [[EMN]] , Cytec Industries Inc. [[CYT]] , [[CBD]] , Teva Pharmaceutical Industries Ltd (ADR) [[TEVA]] , Citigroup Inc. [[C]] and ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] .

Sometime soon, as the economy improves, certain sectors will be bought up by money managers, due to the important theory of “multiple expansion.”

What does that mean?

Answer: go fuck yourself.

Do some research and try to avoid them fucking murderholes.

I bought 5,000 Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] @ $33.70.

Disclaimer: JAHHHHHHRDEN, motherfuckers. Get your blender game on.

UPDATE: I added to my Godly Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] position, buying 2,000 @ $159.85. Gold loves Blankfein. Prove me wrong.

If the bulls are right and the global economy roars into 2011, oil will scream past $100, setting up a super cycle for oil and gas stocks. In my estimation, oil is a must own here, especially going into the summer months.

There is no denying the massive upswing in drilling, domestically and offshore. With the fundamentals so robust, the market is wrong for valuing the majors and independent producers so cheaply, most trading between 8-15x 2011 eps.

You want ideas? Well, we all want some fucking ideas. Instead of living your life like a leech, why don’t you do a little research and contribute to society, instead of bottom feeding?

On a persona level, I like Weatherford International Ltd. [[WFT]] , Southwestern Energy Company [[SWN]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , Ultra Petroleum Corp. [[UPL]] , GMX Resources Inc. [[GMXR]] , and a few others to be named later.

As for Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]]

I do not like the fact that they have quality control issues. Last quarter, approximately 50-75k Keurigs were returned and that cost the company .09 per share. Going forward, the company will be spending a lot of money on better manufacturing, all to do with the substandard quality being produced in China. Although I like the story, longer term, the stock is to be avoided like the plague at 40x earnings. Should it dip into the $60’s, I will start to accumulate.

Top picks: Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , Johnson Controls, Inc. [[JCI]] , Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]]

NOTE: Steve Jobs just murdered Adobe Systems Incorporated [[ADBE]] in an open letter on apple.com. ADBE is a sell, as long as Apple hates them.

Ham -n- Eggs served in a chinese food container.

Biggest winners, year to date (min market cap of 5bill)

No.	Ticker	Market Cap	YTD Return
1	NFLX	5,642,850,521	81.47
2	RBS	50,024,825,000	77.74
3	SII	11,742,438,313	76.41
4	MGM	6,870,069,043	73.46
5	LVS	17,300,472,399	68.14
6	MI	5,082,420,582	65.99
7	CMI	14,578,394,206	61.17
8	TSN	5,999,621,183	60.87
9	RF	10,072,903,783	60.80
10	KEY	7,734,850,482	57.22
11	GNW	9,209,247,113	53.30
12	CLF	9,268,254,879	52.63
13	WYNN	11,358,061,881	52.45
14	BIDU	21,550,863,902	51.01
15	DNDN	5,370,997,672	50.30
16	FITB	11,538,202,184	48.67
17	PRGO	5,491,753,637	48.42
18	VMW	6,621,366,153	47.48
19	MIL	5,951,435,645	46.74
20	HOT	14,694,073,419	45.67
21	SNDK	9,953,806,577	44.36
22	HIT	19,988,189,645	44.23
23	M	10,509,928,413	43.72
24	STI	13,876,938,279	43.59
25	SHLD	13,610,113,495	42.91

DENNINGER (sans blue blazer)

Forget about Jesus for a second. Here on Earth, the Federal Reserve is your God. They set policies on interest rates, which has a ripple effect on everything that you consume, from rat traps to houses. Being long this market, like religion, requires a certain amount of faith. You must discard reason and “blue blazer thinking,” and just go.

Where are we going?

Answer: To heaven AND MORE, vis a vis free money and cheap liquor.

Your opinions, as well as mine, do not matter. All that matters is the fucking monkey playing the accordion and how that pertains to my annual income. See what I am saying?

I bet you are not following me.

Okay, imagine you were in the street and some asshole came up to you and said “yo, don’t touch that mailbox over there, it has cancer on it.” Now, would you go over to said mailbox and touch it? If so, that means you have faith in that asshole not knowing what the fuck he was talking about. If you avoided the mailbox, for fear of contracting a most heinous form of cancer, your faith would be placed with the asshole, who apparently is “in the know” on such forms of infectious cancer.

My point is this: if you short stocks, you will get cancer.

NOTE: Into the bell I bought 2,000 POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]]

I am quite pleased to see the GOP do something right, via blocking the “financial reform” bill. Fuck your financial reform, 100 ways till Monday. I like everything as is, including daily 40 point increases in the Dow.

I’ve been telling you motherfuckers to get short the euro, via [[DRR]] , long the dollar, via [[uup]] and long treasuries, via [[TLT]] , for months now. All of a sudden, the dipshits on the teevee like that trade? Fuck that, it’s time to unwind that and look for new ideas, such as Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] in the $150’s. Mark my words when I say: NOTHING WILL CHANGE. Goldman will not trade down to the $120’s, where that blond headed jackass likes it. Do yourself a favour [sic], take a looksy at GS at these levels. Thank me later.

At the moment, I have meetings to attend, all pertaining to the arts of proper asset management. As I walk out of the office, I am comfortable knowing that I am getting “my share” of the billions being produced by the stock exchange daily. And, secondly, I am way ahead of you clam-fuckers, especially when it comes to banking coin and shit.

Top picks: Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , GMX Resources Inc. [[GMXR]] , Jarden Corporation [[JAH]]

Greece is entirely screwed. Portugal and Italy are next. Yet, U.S. futures are pointing to a higher open, due to the belief that “everything will be alright.” Although I believe we are now running on borrowed time, I still think the market can squeeze out a few percent on the upside, before the European crisis really hits the fan.

Today is also a “Fed day.” I expect rates to remain unchanged and the language in the Fed’s statement to be benign. With all of this, I expect the market will bounce hard out of yesterday’s murderhole. My recent purchases include [[VXX]] , Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] , [[CGA]] and Cytec Industries Inc. [[CYT]] .

Fuck this shit. I have no interest in making any wild moves today. Everyone is too damn impatient when it comes to money. I will sit here and wait for the money to come to me, as I intend to sell everything I own at a profit.

NOTE: [[MTA]] is not really down 10% this morning. The stock went ex-divvy on an annual 9% dividend today.

Anyone else find it disturbing that Goldman’s personal emails are being broadcasted and published for the world to see? Who the fuck do these Congressmen think they are?  I know it’s part of the “investigation” at hand. But I just think people are way too docile when it comes to personal privacy. The reality is, we are living in a benign police state, where everything is monitored and everything is punishable by way of  dick-sucking prison terms. Fuck those people on capital hill, twice over, with cacti.

The market “corrected” today, thanks in large part to reason taking hold of the market. While it’s true, I am positioned long. It’s also true, I will be fine, as always.

There was only a handful of stocks that resisted today’s sell off, one of them Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] . I bought my initial piece and will buy more into weakness. My target position is 10,000 shares.

Finally, my thoughts on the market have not changed from a week ago, despite selling out of [[TLT]] . With my [[TLT]] proceeds, I went long some stocks; but nothing too extreme. At the present, I have 10% long [[VXX]] , 28% cash and 62% long. The market “should” correct 10% from these levels, setting up the best buying opportunity of the year. My mantra will be to remain patient and try to avoid following some of you fuckers into egregious murderholes.

I bought 2,000 [[VXX]] @ $20.25 and 5,000 [[CGA]] @ $13.60.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stock because of this post, your local congressman will seize your email accounts and publish its contents in your local newspaper. And, you may lose money.