A Dramatic Encore

Investors, dressed in silk handkerchiefs and velvet pants, panicked all day, sashaying in and out of stocks with great ferocity. The news was good in the morning, but as you could imagine, woefully terrible in the afternoon. Traders interrupted their afternoon champagne parties, in exchange for a little “zero hedging.”

You see, earlier in the day, while hopped up on cocaine and other such drugs, they bought stock with vigor. They puffed up their chests and ate roast beef, rare, with their bare hands, while counting their easily made money. Then the drama settled in. People started to choke on the roast beef, as champagne flutes whizzed through the air. Hedge fund managers with large year to date losses sold short everything, just to do the opposite of what they were doing two weeks ago. Small pleb prop traders, circle jerked, buying and selling everything in sight, only to end up the day flat.

The people on CNBC threw hissy fits and slapped each other in the faces for stealing the last bag of dope.

While all of this happened, a certain space alien magician looked down on the market, from the perch of his fucking space rocket and left a message, only for his loyal people to see.

NOTE: I was UP on the day.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BioqIQhRJs0 616 500]

I read today’s move wrong. I should have been selling, not buying. Then again, the day isn’t over yet, is it? Nevertheless, all of my buys were at bad prices, for today. Perhaps in two weeks, those prints will look ingenious. However, for now, I’m feeling pretty fucktarded for allocating fresh capital to this stupid, motherfucker of a market.

The math all makes sense. Thanks to the market being controlled by computer trading programs, all you have to do is understand what the computer is, umm, computing. They do not like BP, APC and RIG getting raped, at the hands of the U.S. government no less. It makes no sense for Obama to talk down the share price of BP, BEFORE they have paid the U.S. government for damages. That market cap can be used for raising new capital, in order to pay off damages. Look, the Obama administration is AS DUMB AS IT GETS, folks. I thought Bush and co. were retarded. Boy, these fuckers make Bush look like someone who is qualified to rule the free world.

By the way, a BP bankruptcy will be catastrophic for the market. They are a monstrous company, with a very large r&d budget. Be careful for what you ask for, with regards to a BP bankruptcy, for it might end up raping you.

Also, the computers do not like the Yen trading up. Slap FXY on your 15 inch monitors. When that fuckers ticks up, hold your buy orders. And, as you know, we are all fixated on the Euro. If FXE goes lower, be careful.

Look, I made my call and I will give myself a few days to be proven wrong. Should things go against me, in an egregious way, I will simply pick up the pieces and make it all back. For now, my 30% cushion puts me leagues ahead of my so called competition.

For most, fear morphs into foam mouthed optimism, and then greed, in a matter of minutes. The recent decline in equities brutally punished retail, and to a large degree institutional investors. Just one month ago, you fuckers were writing blogs and tweeting me about “how awesomely wrong Fly is for being long TLT and VXX, like OMG.” You fucking pussified bitches couldn’t trade your way out of a Chinese turtle market. Do you really need to embarrass yourselves here, on this masonic crown jewel, better known to the proletariat as iBankCoin?

My point is this: too many people, including that fat fuck from Fast Money (BEEKER or some shit) have been bearish on stocks, as if the world was about to end, AGAIN. I just like to fade stuff like that, since the crowd is often wrong.

As for today’s tape: too much momo to the upside. I’d be shocked to the point of castration if we gave back more than 30% of today’s gains. I can see a little give back, but not much. My guess, we close at the highs of the day, AND MORE.

I bought 20,000 X @ $42.75

UPDATE: I bought 10,000 SHLD @ $80.50ish.

Disclaimer: If you buy X because of this post, grubs will attack your bullshit lawn. And, you may lose money.

Theoretically, we should storm higher. The stage is set. However, people are more focused on the pending ABK bankruptcy, issues in Fagland and potential apocalypse, thanks to the BP gusher. Personally, I don’t trade the open anymore. In the winter, I am at the gym. During the warmer weather, you can find me playing tennis outside. Either way, opening ticks are riddled with retarded buy/sell on open orders, issued by idiot money managers, on behalf of stupendously moronic pension fund managers.

You have to buy into the fear, unless of course that fear is warranted, backed up by horrific events set to unfold. Without a doubt, should we double dip, and I think we will, the Dow is headed much lower. But, that remains to be seen. Before we can get to that, first, we need to deal with standard, run of the mill, stock market supply and demand. Right now, there is way too much pessimism. Stocks are being blown out, without regard for valuations. That, my friends, is patently absurd.

My top pick, into the rally that I see coming, is FLS. That fucker is good for another 15 points, despite being up 3 as you read this. If I am correct, we should see the market rally another 300 before settling in, which at that time my handy-dandy PPT algorithm will likely tell me to GTFO of stocks.

UPDATE: I covered my MET short, under $40. Now, I am completely unhedged long, with a 40% cash position.

Here is the most down list, year to date, for companies with caps above $50bill.

The Krullster on BP “oil spill”
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFE88ySdXvc&playnext_from=TL&videos=adruSZyfPro&feature=sub 616 500]

Fuckface.

That’s all I have to say about that. Oh, by the way, I went looong another 10,000 TNA @ $37.90.

The PPT called this fucker, to the day, once again.

Off to melt down houses with my fucking space rocket.

Gold at new highs (props to Jakegint). The Euro is up and the Yen is up. Stocks, for the most part, are sucking dick. We’ve been enduring some pretty wild intra-day swings, which in turn makes me very nervous. Some of you are questioning why I chose to cover hedges and nibble down here. My answer to such questions is “STFU, bitch.” Leave me be to my own devices. It’s not important to me to nail the very bottom or top of every range. I am making a conscious decision to “play the upcoming bounce” before you hear about it on the teevee. That’s what investing is all about, isn’t it?

Or, have you forgotten what this shit is all about? Are you a trend setter or a follower?

Granted, it’s not looking too good for my new thesis and I am losing money. I am prepared to lose money, lots of it. I might not like it; but it is expected.

I added two stocks to my portfolios: MWW and FLS.

I sold MWW north of $15 and $17 and FLS @ $98-102. Essentially, I am buying back old inventory at much lower prices. MWW has been smashed
due to the employment picture. However, they are still a prime takeover target. And, FLS is rifuckulously cheap and a great global growth play. I know, global growth is dead, yada, yada, yada. I am not here to vote in annual meetings. I am simply scalping.

UPDATE: I bought another 10,000 MWW @ $12.20

Again, keep the big picture in mind: my cash horse is upwards of 52% and I am short MET.

NOTE: My complete buylist, which is subject to change, is now post in The PPT.

NOTE II: CDS spreads are widening most for AXL, ARM, AGO and BC.

I lied.

I bought 10,000 FLS, south of $82.80 and 10,000 MWW @ $12.44.

Disclaimer: I have a proclivity to do an say crazy things. Should you follow me into trades, you may be following me to your very own death.

This is it people. We either rally now or get buried alive amidst black smoke and rusted, broken down, Oldsmobiles. With my money, I am not trying to time the bottom, so I am not buying anything. My move was completed yesterday, via removing downside hedges (save MET short) and implementing a small purchase of TNA. Even though TNA is lower than yesterday’s purchase price, I am not chasing it because that would be emotional.

Remember, the market will always present great opportunities, some better than others. This particular market is very dicey and should not be played in an aggressive manner, which is why I am taking a milquetoast approach to it.

For now, I am comfortable letting my longs recover, instead of adding to them down here.