Fly Buy: VXX

I bought 15,000 [[VXX]] , under $22.40.

Disclaimer: If you buy VXX because of this post, the next time you get sick, your doctor will rub Vicks all over your face. And, you may lose money.

UPDATE: Go check out Scotty Bleier at Yahoo’s Tech Ticker.

The higher this market goes, the more entrenched I become in my indifference towards long positions. Just today, I plotted out a scenario that put me at 0% equities, 20% treasuries, 10% Vix and 70% cash. The way I figure, I had huge back to back years, being up more than 150% over the past two years. Already in 2010, I find myself up another 15%. In other words, I execute thousands of trades, in numerous different asset classes per year. It’s not an accident or luck that has gotten to me to where I am today. I will trust my instincts, over yours, 10 out of 10 times. If I am wrong, I can only blame myself.

Within my long equity positions, I like U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , [[MWW]] , [[TAN]] , POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] and [[CBD]] . However, I will not be adding to any of them here. If anything, I am a net seller, not a buyer.

Okay, for the remainder of the day, I will be planning to get drunk and act stupid, in celebration of St. Patrick’s day.

More later.

The democrats are on the verge of bankrupting the country, via an egregious health care program. I know some of you political hacks are up in arms over such things. However, the way I see it, those goat fuckers are doing us all a HUGE favor, by expediting the inevitable. It’s like taking a bandaid off quickly, opposed to doing it slowly with lots of hair underneath.

As an aside, I like the action in CIT Group Inc. [[CIT]] and Adobe Systems Incorporated [[ADBE]] , for specific reasons. I like CIT because “The Real American Psycho” aka John Thain was thrown a bone by government dick suckers. And, I am pretty sure ADBE will blow away earnings, coming up next week.

My conundrum is more of an emotional one, instead of logical. The only headwind I am faced with is [[VXX]] . But the losses are entirely acceptable. Don’t worry about me. On the other hand, my [[TLT]] position is ticking higher again, despite all of this risk trading fuckery. All of this, AND MORE, should make you think: is the government looking to exit Citigroup Inc. [[C]] under advantageous market conditions? Moreover, is the government interested in getting TARP funds back, in order to start some new socialist agenda? There is much more going on here, than simple/innocent daily 40 point advances. Something sinister is afoot and I am not interested, at least not now.

Finally, [[MWW]] is trading higher again, based on chatter amongst urinal shadows—pertaining to takeover bids.

I don’t go to your house and tell you what brand of disinfectant to use when mopping the floor. I don’t barge into your office and demand that you swap out your old/bullshit blackberry, for a more advanced iPhone. Do not come here, to my internet office, and tell me—emphatically—how I should be managing money. I’ve been doing this shit for too long, too well, to take advice from anyone.

Let me explain my arrogance more specifically. If Warren Buffett himself came up to me and said “hey Fly, you’re a really neat guy. Why don’t you buy some Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] ?” I’d tell Warren to go fuck himself and to quit interfering in another mans business.

Most of you readers out there are mechanics or bullshit attorneys. You have to understand, this is my field of expertise. There is nothing that I take more seriously, than zigging through your zags.

For example: I own a shit load of Treasuries now, via [[TLT]] . And, I have some exposure to a badly bruised ETN: [[VXX]] , which will SOAR, should the market decline.

Do you seriously think I need you to lecture me, a God amongst men, about the inflation scenario and how it pertains to U.S. debt, with respects to yield? Or, do you think (be honest now) that I need to be reminded of how fucked up [[VXX]] has performed, during this bull run—an era without volatility?

Your financial advice is not appreciated and is of great offense to me.

See folks, when visiting iBC, you need to walk on egg shells. One comment too sly and you’re fucking banned for life. One little derogatory remark about the good/honest people at Goldman Sachs— and you disappear off the face of this site. All traces gone. Poof!, as if you never even existed.

In summary, “The Fly” wins all the time, even when you think you are right. I siphon your winship!

It’s a low probability bet, fucking with Senor Tropicana. I highly recommend you to go fuckkkkk yourself, instead of messing around with a space alien magician carrying a blood stained clawhammer.

Before going out and buying a basket of inflation plays, ask yourself: “why the fuck is the price of [[SGG]] going lower?” This plagues me, like nothing else. I mean, have people stopped eating chocolate bars or cereal? Is there some sort of glut in the system due to a precipitous drop in sugar ethanol demand? All of these questions, AND MORE, shall be answered at a later date.

For now, I will focus my efforts on not losing what I already made. Case in point: [[TLT]] holds its ground, in the midst of your bullshit inflation rally. What does that say about you?

Answer: it says “you’re an asshole.”

Also, it appears the shareholders of Silicon Storage Technology, Inc. [[SSTI]] are adamant about telling management to “go fuck themselves,” regarding selling the company to Microchip Technology Inc. [[MCHP]] for $3.05. Call me crazy, but I think another bid is waiting in the tall grass waiting to strike the antelope fuckers from Microchip Technology Inc. [[MCHP]] .

Finally, Citigroup Inc. [[C]] is looking pretty sporty. All in all, I am very, very content with my positions and look forward to buying your positions, at much lower prices.

NOTE: As discussed in The PPT yesterday, I bought 20,000 [[MWW]] , low $16’s, unsolicited.

LASER SHIELD: [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cp2Z712XtY 616 500]

TOOL BOX on Sugar:

I will be in an out of the office today, partaking in “unforeseen events.” The market is doing exactly what I didn’t think it shouldn’t do. While you try to figure that out, always remember, Larry Kudlow is actually an old fashioned Goldman Sachs permabull trading robot. You didn’t think he was actually….never mind.

Market up, gold up, oil up, dollar down and treasuries up!!?!! Color me skeptical.

More later.

Now I know why the bearshitters are so bitter. When you take a step back and look at the market objectively, as I am now, it is rather ridiculous the way this thing is being manipulated. Thanks to urinal shadows, I am not short any stocks. So, my slight frustration is rather laughable, compared to hard core bears, who have been taking needles to the eyeballs for months now.

Despite the late day surge, the dollar was robusto and the long bond was solid. Coupled with the fact that many commodity names were taken out and shot, I’m guessing a stiff sell off is right around the corner. Even still, I have no interest in going short, not now—and maybe never.

Instead, I can just hide out in low beta shit and use small [[VXX]] positions for excitement.

Oh, by the way, I am very knowledgeable of the VIX and the options that rob people daily. There is a reason why I am opting to go with [[VXX]] over ordinary calls. Don’t get me started on “the option people,” for they are the lowest form of life on Wall Street—true cellar dwellers of the worst kind.

The religious zealots of the House of Technical Analysis (HoTA) hates it when I go “full metal jacket” on their religion. I get it. The truth of the matter is, you stupid bastards aren’t even reading charts. Most of you are using your 6th sense to anticipate future stock movements. Tell me guys like CA, Fool, RC, Jakegint and Bleier use charts— just charts— to pick all of their winners and I will kill you where you stand.

I won’t recycle the classic cliches that explain tape reading. Instead, I will tell you, and I know this for a fact, you fuckers are winging it, similar to slapping angry pitbulls in the face with peanut butter. Eventually, using TA, your fucking arms will get bit off.

Pardon my digression. I did not mean to turn this post into a “fuck TA” rant; but it just sort of happened. Seriously, I respect all investment methods, some more than others. Like they say, “all men are created equal, some more equal than others.”

Into this tepid sell-off, I am flipping through teevee shows, while avoiding personal contact with business associates.

That is the question.

As “The Fly” positions himself for yet another episode of “epic trading,” ask yourself this question: “Am I worthy of reading this site?” I mean that literally. Think about it. You’re over there just wasting time. You annoy your wife on a daily basis with inane subject matters. Your friends think you’re a fucking idiot, due to a long history and track record of doing stupid shit. And, to top it all off, you have the audacity to come to this Godly website and throw meatloaf around, as if this was your trailer. Guy, get a hold of yourself and behave like a gentleman.

I will have you know, and I am quite proud of this achievement: to date, I have banned aka “imprisoned” over 200 spam/pestering jackasses on iBankCoin from commenting on the site. Just this morning, I ordered the “execution” of another reader, for the better good of course. Like all things in life, order must be preserved, so that we (the good) can enjoy ourselves. If I ran this website, like some of you ran your homes, it would be a crime and a God forsaken mess and “the good” would be motivated to leave for “classier” confines. “The Fly” is all about cleanliness and the preservation of order, for the “better good” of course.

Back to investing:

I sold out of my Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] position this morning, further solidifying my blade into Jim Cramer’s ribs, as he was very bearish on the name and I was not. The proceeds go directly to cash, nothing more. Some of you are probably wondering about my mental “well being,” especially since I am so volatile, with regards to my opinions. Let me assure you, once and for all, I am of sound body and mind. However, I must admit, I am afraid to sell this market short, which is why I am taking the pussy way out of stocks, through treasuries and more recently [[VXX]] . Let it be known, I do not like this market, not one bit. But I am not bold enough to take down large short positions (yet), due to the veracity of the permabull trading robots at Goldman.

Without a doubt, The PPT has and is pointing to extreme overbought conditions. But, like in all bull markets, upward momentum is contagious, especially when our 401k money is being managed by chimpanzees with IQ’s less than imprisoned giraffe’s.

Without a doubt, more on this topic later.

Gold will collapse under a large pile of “Jakegints,” as the ominous “ETF SAVAGERY” takes hold of retail lemmings.

Long dated Treasuries will advance in price, as everything else just loses its luster.

The Vix index will spike, thanks to the great return of volatility and all of its wholesale fuckery.

The euro will fuck itself, while the dollar reigns supreme. This paradigm, incidentally, will put pressure on U.S. exporters.

Commodity prices will plummet, making alternative energy laughable, similar to the grand national practical joke known as “elections.”

Shares of semiconductor companies will drop fast, due to their weak shareholder bases and fickle analyst coverage.

Defensive names, like Kellogg Company [[K]] , General Mills, Inc. [[GIS]] and Kimberly-Clark Corporation [[KMB]] will thrive, while high beta names like Amazon.com, Inc. [[AMZN]] , [[CAGC]] and NetLogic Microsystems, Inc. [[NETL]] suck helmets.

When the risk trade ends, you better lock you fucking doors and punish the kids, for roving bands of “food gatherers” will target your bullshit house for “provision extraction.”