Indeud!

I just wanted to take a moment, out of my busy day, to say “indeud.”

Proceed.

I sold short 10,000 MET @ $39.85

The jobs numbers were horrific, even more so than reported. Slap in the birth/death model and you have a loss of more than 200k for the month. The only jobs available, oddly enough, are from Government. So, it’s settled, we are heading towards a double dip recession. Trade accordingly.

Expect a sharp drop at the open and a sharp drop at the close. Please do not make a jackass out of yourself, intra-day, with inane moves. So you know, while you lose money at the open, “The Fly” will be playing tennis and laughing at many of you, on the inside. I try to reserve my emotions in public, so you know.

I will make some coin in my 50,000 share FAZ position and boatloads in VXX. Let’s not forget, I am short MET too. I do have a fair amount of longs. But, the damage should be limited, thanks to my hedges.

See folks, my positioning has never been about making money on the downside. “The Fly” is all about preserving his 30% YTD gains, while putting himself in an uncanny position to purchase your margin liquidations. It appears, I will be afforded such an opportunity in short order.

The euro is cracking and Hungary is warning of default. Prepare to dive, motherfucker. Prepare to dive.

I sold out of my GMXR at the lows because of my over weight exposure to natural gas. It happens. I will not lament over it. Right now, I own FTK, SD and ATPG, making up more than 15% of assets. However, if Obama is really serious about turning the corner on oil, using the BP spill as a motivating catalyst, we will see much, much higher natural gas prices and equity valuations.

The following names attribute more than 75% of their production to natural gas. (hat tip to Po Pimp from The PPT, for this research)

CRK, MMR, PVA, ROSE, DPTR, PQ, GDP, CRZO, KWK, FST, COG, XCO, HK, NFX, UPL, RRC, STR.

Additionally, here are some other names to keep on the radar:

CLNE (natty gas stations), WPRT, NGS, BEXP, TLM, XTEC, NBL, SWN, KWK, PETD, PSE, KOG, REXX, HP, VNR, HERO, BRNC and of course FTK.

Over the next several days, I will weed out this list and select my favorites for purchase, providing the market keeps the uptrend intact.

This market is about to rip the tits of participants. Should the Yen start to rise, we will have a full fledged rout, ending in your eventual margin liquidation. This is NOT A MARKET TO TAKE HUNCHES, you stupid fucker. This is the sort of tape that puts your house into foreclosure. Heed my warnings now, stop buying and selling short, at once. Instead, go home and play with legos or eat vicariously, through greasy bags of potato chips.

Before you do that, be sure to have a bountiful amount of cash and some hedges. This means, if you have a long bias, throw in some shorts. If you are an idiot and have your book positioned 100% short, throw in some longs, for entertainment purposes.

I will have you know, “The Fly’s” blend of long/shorts/cash is working rather wonderfully today. Won’t you stop by later for a pizza slap to the face?

Off to eat a monstrous bowl of cereal.

I do not need to prove anything to the likes of you. Your kind has been losing money for centuries, while I have been lamping out eating sandwiches.

If you must know, I sold out of ACI, for a small loss. It was wourth [sic] the gamble, considering JOYG was slated to report record numbers. Also, as discussed in The PPT, I bought a starter position in GLDD. Most of you are unaware, thanks in large part to your lack of knowledge of stocks, due to your religious fanaticism with charts; but GLDD makes barrier islands (think Dubai, think Louisiana). If you have been reading the news, our politicians are clamoring for barrier islands, in order to protect the coastline from BP’s mess. Once Obama takes his thumb from his ass, I expect the price of GLDD to hit new highs.

As for the markets:

I do not like it, not one bit. Of course RINO shot higher, based upon a whole lot of nothingness. And I am fine with that, long the stock with decent size. But, don’t expect this market to reverse higher and pay for your dumb kids college tuition.

Get to work!

NOTE: I bought 45,000 GLDD, ranging from $6.30 to $6.40

Is that no one knows what the fuck is going on, yours truly included— to a certain extent. How else can I justify going long, then short, in a bold manner, from week to week? The difference between a person, such as myself and you, I move in organized confusion, while you are scattered all over the road and shit, without a purpose. My purpose in life, my force, is to outstrip you. Keep in mind, when I say “you,” I really mean “you.” That’s right, “The Fly” wants to crush some random asshole in Wichita and New York with the same ferocity as he wants to embarrass people from Switzerland. It’s all the same, as far as I am concerned.

Going into the bell, I am about break even, with gains in PKX, FTK, SD, ATPG, IBN and GS and losses in FAZ, VXX and short MET.

You might ask yourself “what is “The Fly” up to these days”?

Answer: None of your concern.

Even though you think I am losing, actually, I am winning. With about 45% of my assets in cash, I am the one you should fear, for I am gunning for your face, AND MORE. Today’s melt up is encouraging and I hope it results in a monster rally. Do you actually believe I will watch the market rally and do nothing about it? Are you fucking retarded.

I will tell you what is retarded?

Into the bell, I bought ACI and RINO. That’s right, I bought size in motherfucking RINO, as if my name was Sum Dum Fuk and I just finished eating a gallon of slimy noodles, with fish heads mixed in.

I bought 7,500 ACI @ $22.

I couldn’t help myself.

If you really want to play the oil sector, go with OIH. Fucking around with individual names, like RIG or BP now is pure gambling. At least with OIH, you get a modicum of sector diversification.

Lucky for me, I have been out all day in meaningless meetings, chomping on bread and shit, looking at the birds. As far as I am concerned, the summer is here and I have little to no interest in the stock market, barring the eventuality of a HORRIFIC crash. Even so, I am much more interested in not living out my existence like some of you middle aged, office drones, whose big daily highlight is lunch. Maybe our European suckers have it right, with all of their leisure time, hanging around Ficus trees, smoking cigars. Granted, such a lifestyle is counterproductive and leads to all sorts of fucktarded lifestyle choices. However, the American lifestyle is pretty much as dumb as it gets; so I will take my chances—going with a “hybrid” version.

I always say: “never work hard, but smart.”

As for the markets:

Yen weakness is allowing stocks to rally. I do not trust it and spit in the faces of those who do. Yesterday you asshats were buying FAZ, today FAS. You don’t know what you are doing and should be executed for crimes against finance. With my money, I will let it marinate, for today only negates yesterday’s rape. I will be sure to do something tomorrow.

In the meantime, I am long vast amounts of VXX (16%), and 35% of my assets are invested in a long position, amongst stocks like PKX, GS, ATPG, SD and FTK.

Patience killed the cow and ate the steak. That is, without a doubt, my middle name.

You chart chomping jackasses don’t stand a chance in this whipsaw market. You might as well give all of your money away to the homeless or kids with cancer now, before you lose that shit to some Goldman Sachs robot. It’s amazing to me that so many of you believe in technical analysis, as if it was some sort of religion. Do you know Santa Claus isn’t real? Are you aware to the fact that technical analysis was developed by people who had no market edge? It was developed by misfits, who were getting mugged by the markets daily, that tried to come up with some magic fairy dust, via charting stocks and indices by hand— every night for review.

The sad thing is, the very people who invented these indicators discarded them for the shit-heap, long ago. Yet, here you are EMBARRASSING yourselves daily, getting flattened out by rampaging gorillas.

On the other hand, I do believe in quantitative analysis, which contrary to what you may believe, is ENTIRELY different than drawing lines on charts or fucking around with idiot candlesticks—all subject to human error by faulty interpretation.

What needs to happen now is a full-fledged rout of the markets, in order to zero out some of the weaker players. All of you piker hedge fund managers, who made a nice bag of brick last year, are two trades away from being on the receiving end of mass redemptions. I will be more than happy to pick up your loss, AND MORE.

See folks, you can’t believe the charts. And, you can’t believe the fundamentals. The nice little earnings estimates that you have mapped out for BAC are worth less than an empty bottle of St. Ides.

What matters?

I will tell you. Asset allocation models, risk analysis, proper research and game plan, catalyst driven events, on the ground research and the God given gift to make accurate financial decisions. People ask me: “Fly, how are you able to make so many accurate calls, all the time, over such a long period of time?” My answer, as always: “do you ask a bird why it is able to fly, or why hungry mountain lions, trapped inside gay bars, tend to lack proper bar etiquette?”

No, of course you don’t. There are no short cuts, ladies. This game was designed for the very best to succeed, not some dork trading 5 figs out of Mom’s basement. Now go back to watching the military channel and make believe you are some valiant war hero, instead of the pencil pushing dipshit that you are in real life.