Let the Euro Burn!

The EU is in real trouble, as their “austerity plans” come to fruition; I gather, weak countries will determine it was a mistake to forfeit the important tools of monetary policy, in exchange for that big grandiose circle jerk, better known as “the euro.” I am sure Greece would love to monetize their way out of the mess they’re in now. Instead, thanks to the fucking euro, they are beholden to the sausages in Berlin. It’s only a matter of time before the EU is forced to turn their fucking presses on laser, space speed, or the whole fucking parade ends. Should the latter occur, the U.S. dollar, as well as U.S. debt, will be sopped up like cola on a fucking sham-wow.

There’s a reason why I am avoiding stocks, while throwing coin into [[TLT]] .

Today’s tape is more of the same. Low volume melt-up. But, it has the feel of walking through an old haunted house. Any second now, I expect some sort of zombie to pop out from the shadows and take a bite out of my cranium.

In short, [[TLT]] is still my best trade, with a side order of Silicon Storage Technology, Inc. [[SSTI]] , due to the downside protection of an all-cash offer. Around these levels, I am starting to like [[VXX]] too. And, if I wanted to trade 3x bullshit, I’d buy [[DRR]] right here, right now.

BlackRock Plays It Safe: Treasurys

NEW YORK—BlackRock Inc., the world’s largest money-management firm by assets, has increased its holdings of Treasury securities in recent weeks in response to the unsteady outlook for growth, ongoing sovereign-debt woes and contained inflation risks.

Ho-Hum.

They will be horrific, thanks to the fucking snow and shitty economy. Men dressed in burlap will throw themselves into lit fireplaces, so that you may choke on their black smoke, emanating from their carcasses.

I must admit, as of late, the whole blogging thing is fucking boring me to death. Everyone has their motivation, whether it be through gaining power, popularity or money. I desire none of the above. Sure, I like money and the fact that iBankCoin pisses on the competition; but it gets old. I am surrounded by sheer incompetence, every where I go. The inadequacies of others, in general, denigrates quality of life. These days, no one takes pride in their work. They don’t contribute to anything, only take away. For every person that adds value, there are 10 who endeavor to take it away. There is something to be said about the internet and how it is a cross-section of life. People should go back into the fucking matrix, or die sooner; that’s all.

On Jupiter’s Stone, the market is topping here. How do I know?

Well, do you ask a fish how does it swim or a bird how it crashes into airplanes? Of course not, so quit asking me “why”?

In the big scheme of things, we’re all crack heads, playing “follow the bee” in Times Square. I meant that in the most anecdotal way possible, as you know.

Top picks: [[DRR]] , [[TLT]]

Based upon the prognostications of the shadows near my favorite urinal, the market is due to dip, right about these levels. While you shovel water-bugs and rice into your respective mouths, “The Fly” will be working, diligently, on protecting his small (10%ish) year to date gains.

See folks, life is not about swinging for the fences, at least not all the time. To me, life is about cracking 40 ounces of malt liquor over the heads of unsuspecting neighbors, then drawing mustaches on their faces, for future removal, via brass-knuckled sandwich. People do not retain the services of Le Fly to waste time or “make believe.” I refuse to tell you things, based upon 3-6 month time frames, that no one with agreeable brain functions would feign knowing. I dare to say, EVERYONE on CNBC are from the primate order. While some vary in their overwhelming “grotesqueries,” it is made abundantly clear, on a daily basis, that they are in fact lacking in vitamin B supplements, which has resulted in rapid deterioration of their respective frontal lobes.

This might come as a bit of a surprise to some of you, but Senor Tropicana is most fortunate enough to have not just 1, but two brains. Indeud.

Back to the important matter of stock market advances, I dare to say “this one is getting long in the tooth,” as evidenced by frenzied buying in the dumbest stocks known to mankind. Nevertheless, I will resist the temptation to sell them short, because it is not in my gameplan. My plan is rather simple, concise and above your pay-grade: vastly outperform all indices, on a yearly basis, which is exactly what I am doing at the present. Now some of you are rolling the wheel of great fortune, trading from strip joints, buying OEX calls while doing lines of cocaine. Always remember this, while spinning, Mr. Fuckface.

For the remainder of the day, I shall scurry about, raising a bit of cash into the bell. I will have you know, already, I sold out of 90% of my ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] position, for a rather gratuitous profit. Going forward, I shall endeavor to crack skulls and plant time bombs inside of my rivals’ headquarters. Oh, and I might buy some more [[TLT]] .

The refiners are picking up some steam here: Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] , Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] , Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Holly Corporation [[HOC]] . This is the season when refiners run, as we enter “the driving season.” As you know, I am a big believer in seasonality trends. For example, QUALCOMM, Inc. [[QCOM]] has been up in 17 of the last 18 years in March. As coincidence would have it, on 3/1, they reaffirmed guidance and announced a share buyback. Come on.

Come April, I will be playing Weatherford International Ltd. [[WFT]] , a stock that has gone up 19 of the last 20 years in April. I simply cannot ignore those percentages and chalk them up to “coincidence.” There is a specific reason why stocks go up during select months, while others struggle. Like everything else, there are stories behind the data.

I am looking for U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] to bust loose here. Much to my chagrin, I am down a good chunk in the name, thanks to stubbornness.  With gold stocks pressing higher— and [[JAG]] being their top holding under management— perhaps I can get my money back, AND MORE. Separately, I am respecting the scientific (joking) boundaries set by The PPT, with regards to this market being OVERBOUGHT. Therefore, I shall not be participating in any “stock adventures,” no matter how enticing it might be. Essentially, if I am off by a week or two, so be it. All I am saying is: raise cash.

But, if you already have cash and need some equity exposure, you wouldn’t be crazy for buying Silicon Storage Technology, Inc. [[SSTI]] here, with a hard cash offer of $3.00 on the table, especially since a bidding war may erupt at any moment. Wait for it. I also like Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , Nucor Corporation [[NUE]] , Visa Inc. [[V]] etc.

UPDATE: I  sold 90% of ICICI Bank Limited (ADR) [[IBN]] above $40.

Let’s see if my robots are better than yours.

Reading: OVERBOUGHT

A lot of you take this stock market racket way too serious. In your search to unveil the Holy Grail, you hem and haw your way into mediocrity. Here is some advice that will help you see things clearly: Stop learning. In a fast paced market, sometimes it makes sense to cease over-analyzing ever single tick, every single news release and just do.

Way back when, I’d scurry through every financial publication, book and website, in order to find an edge in the market. Then it dawned on me: most of you fuckers out there publishing books don’t know shit about investing. My current reading list is populated with classical literature, interesting industry stories, or something entirely unrelated to stocks. While it’s true, keeping up to date with news and research is vital to staying relevant. It’s also true, too much information can cloud your mind with all sorts of convoluted strategies, effectively knee-capping your trading performance.

The market is a living beast, always trying to bite your head off. Watch the beast very closely and strike when you feel the advantage is in your favor, not when some asshole tells you to. As much as I praise myself, being a stock market miracle, my style may not be suitable for your investment needs.

As for the market:

I ended up doing nothing today, despite saying I would sell. I have plenty of cash and fairly safe positions, as currently constituted. Should we gap up in the morning, I will be sure to raise another 5% cash.

I’m selling more here, as I embed myself in defensive minded positions. This is not a break-out, contrary to what all of the fortune tellers are foretelling today.

In short, get light now or go home heavy.

This is the type of tape that mushroom clouds any and all remnants of pessimism. All of the people short the market, as I type this, have sweaty palms and spare tires in their stomachs.

Granted, maybe if I wasn’t so cautious, I too could be throwing old fuckers into lit fireplaces, But we all make choices; some of them turn out to be good, others HORRIFIC. I harbor zero regrets.

Everything you know about economics and the markets are useless in an environment where everything is unprecedented. So ask yourself, pal, are you spinning your wheels or doing something productive?

Pardon my lack of bloggery these days. I am not trying to impersonate one or more of the lazy fuckers on iBC. I’ve been inundated with fucking bullshit; but that’s coming to an end—starting now.

Freebie: PPT just ticked above 3.00 again. Therefore, there is no way in hell I am allocating funds here.

Corinthian Colleges, Inc. [[COCO]] and other education stocks go up everyday, in the face of large short positions. As a matter of fact, most stocks with large short positions, sans Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] !, are melting higher, despite all of the “bad news.” Despite my reservations to risk my capital here, this is still a LONG ONLY market. I base my assertions on the irrefutable facts that this market, like it or not, is being bid up by the good folks over at the U.S. government. It is just silly to think that you can out-manoeuvre them. Trying to out-chess the grand chess players is equal to Lehman Brothers going out of business because their fucking chart sucked.

See what I am saying here?

Nevertheless, 40%+ of my assets are still long equities and they are doing great today. Some of my top performers are Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] , CGG Veritas (ADR) [[CGV]] , Jarden Corporation [[JAH]] and Visa Inc. [[V]] . It’s also worth noting, the dollar is rallying and big money is still being fork lifted into [[TLT]] . However, I will not bore you lemon suckers with such jargon.

Go ahead, get drunk and buy stocks. For now, I will sit here burning holes in my monitor, using only my eyes, sober and totally in control.

Disclosure: I am up 10% year to date.