Bounce Hard; Die Soft

I didn’t get it for about a month and change. Now some of you fuckers still don’t get it, refusing to acknowledge the magic being done in front of your faces. Bernanke may very well be Jesus reincarnate (blasphemy is not a sin on iBC).

Following an early morning drubbing, which brought out all of the “zerohedgers” out from their respective burlap’d pile of shit, the market is climbing. CRE, banks, tech, oil and motherfucking retail are leading the way. How about that? BJ is lifting on private equity rumors and I am now up 4% on my FTK position. It’s the will of the Turkey Gods, assholes. You are forgetting the answers. You can’t short stocks going into the most gluttonous time of the year for America. We love us some turkey with some mashed potatoes, stuffing and gravy. It is not logical to make bearish bets, before such a feast. If you attempt to do so, the Turkey Gods will claw your eyes out, then kick you into oncoming traffic.

Having said that, my positions are mixed, up 0.5% today, led by FTK. The company is scheduled to report earnings after the bell.

Right here, right now, I still like beaten down commodity plays, like GMXR, CGA and CRK. If you are a PPT sub, I am using this screen to find said names. Notice what they all have in common?

Be careful with these hot money plays, for they are getting bombed into the stone age on earnings. Yesterday, one of my holdings, CAAS, reported solid earnings, yet slipped a buck fifty, nonetheless. Let’s not even mention BORN. That fuck dives 10% if someone at the company sneezes sideways.

Even still, today should be a solid day, after a good jobs report. Plus anyway, the Fed is actively manipulating the markets, in an evil underhanded way in order to blow up our Asian counterparts. There is something very fucked up taking place between China and the US. Last night, China scrambled to raise reserve requirements for their banks by 50bps. Everyone openly acknowledges the fact that US clambux are flooding Asian markets to the point where dangerous bubbles are being formed. If you think about it, what better way to fuck your enemy than to create a monstrous bubble in their bullshit country that will one day blow up and cause armed revolt? Rofl.

China might have us by the short hairs via treasuries; but we have them by the fucking head with all of our clambux over there.

It should make for an interesting decade.

Be careful with these hot money plays, for they are getting bombed into the stone age on earnings. Yesterday, one of my holdings, CAAS, reported solid earnings, yet slipped a buck fifty, nonetheless.

Irish, Greek and Portuguese gov’t debt spreads are at record highs versus German, up anywhere between 30-50% from October. TLT is tanking, which means the dollar should be tanking, no? Wrong! We are in opposite land, where nothing is what it seems. The dollar is up nearly 1%, as Treasuries tank. Someone has a lot of explainin’ to do.

The market is pulling back, after a fanatical run, led lower by banks and CRE. Scared yet?

Hardly.

My Chinese Lotto stocks are “reverse lottoing,” which is expected. When one endeavors to play inside of an active volcano, such a person should expect to get burned. Easy come, easy go. I was one click from selling out of my HEAT position this morning, but opted for a coffee instead, literally. So, instead of being up 19% on the position, I am up 9.4%. That’s an expensive cup of shit. Furthermore, I kicked out of my PWAV position, just because. And, I bulked up on a little GMXR, which moved nicely higher intra-day. Pretty much all of my positions were down today, with the exception of one particular name: FTK.

Here is my dilemma.

Year to date, FTK is up 45%. More importantly, over the past 3 months, the stock is up 39%, making it the 8th best performer in the oil/gas equipment and services industry, over that time. Typically a good problem, but not now. Because of the big move higher it is now too heavily weighted, for my taste, in my portfolios. Meaning: I have no choice but to sell or opt for a riskier alternative: spend all available cash and maybe leverage, in order to diversify.

I can go about this in a distinguished manner and try to “hedge” again. Or, if my thesis is to be long, going into Turkey Day, I can just buy “fuckloads” of bullshit stocks cheap, then sell them when they are expensive.

I will ponder this problem thoroughly, over a 2 1/2 inch thick rib eye, heavily salted, lightly peppered—later on this evening. Into the bell, the sell off is intensifying, as fucktards get stomped into the funnel. As I close out this poem, I am down 1.1% for the day.

I bought 50,000 GMXR.

Disclaimer: BIG fan of natty here, ahead of the debilitating and often disappointing, yet crippling, winter months. Plus, the ATLS gives me confidence that M&A is back in the sector. Having said that, should you follow me and buy GMXR, you will die from a rabies bite. And, you may lose money.

Thanks to the CVX for ATLS deal, natty names are ripping higher (good for FTK, btw), namely RRC, SWN and UPL, all undervalued in my opinion. Also, it appears LLNW and LVLT might have stolen the CDN business from AKAM. If that’s true, LLNW will trade above $10, maybe $15. Once again, precious metal names are ripping to the upside. At this point, the move is parabolic. I know many of you in The PPT, led by Jakegint and others, have been in a variety of names, like EXK, HL and SLW. Enjoy the “clam-lotto” while it lasts.

Well, Chinese lotto is taking the day off, with spastic moves to the downside. The chief concerns are not worth repeating. Just know and understand, easy come, easy go, when it comes to hot stocks or sectors. Take it in stride.

I will not be playing lotto today, as they market seems to be going another way. Although it’s worth noting, my #2 and #3 positions by size, EJ and HEAT, are fairing well today. I will likely look to allocate money into oil and gas names.

When you buy $350,000 worth of lotto tickets, from your local bodega, you don’t walk away from said establishment thinking “boy, I better win that fucking lottery drawing.” If you get disappointed when you don’t win lotto, quit at once. Playing lotto is equal to sucking down some pina colodas, oceanside, while watching celebrity deathmatch. You don’t get mad when Christopher Walken gets killed, following such funny lines. Sure, you’re a little disappointed, but not mad.

Having said that, I didn’t win with CSFG today, thanks to an earnings shortfall. I am sure you believe “after such a non win, he might reign it in a little.” Well, you’d be wrong about that, fuckface, for the game has not changed.

The futures were supposed to be down 4-6 this morning, yet we are up. Go figure. The market is very stretched to the upside. However, we are living in a land of fiction, so past correlations do not apply. When the carpet gets pulled, it will be ugly. However, I don’t think we are there yet. There are plenty of wins yet to be had.

More on this later.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Today we are all “The Chinese Lotto Guy (TCLG),” dressed in the most expensive silk gowns and beaded helmets. Today’s stock exchange activity, if anything at all, demonstrates the will of God, as dictated by the share prices of my portfolio, for example (SCOK, FUQI, HEAT, BORN, GU, Fuck you, I’m better). “The Fly” owns the very dumbest stocks publicly traded and yet finds himself on the receiving end of lottery winship. How so, a thinking man ponders?

The answer is very simple, very simple indeud.

“The Fly” is better than you. To sum up the activities of the last 8 weeks, I will tell you a short story, told to me long ago, at the very top of the Andes mountains.

Long ago, when space aliens invaded Egypt, hordes of humans were enslaved to build “dumbass pyramids.” One of the slaves went by the name of HORATIO. HORATIO didn’t like to build pyramids because it occupied too much of his energy. Plus anyway, he thought the space aliens were dicks. Over and over again, one particularly asshattish space alien, named DONATELLO, slapped HORATIO in the face with a laser beamed whip. HORATIO didn’t like getting hit in the face with a laser beamed whip. He didn’t like it one bit.

So, one day, while carrying white limestone to the construction site, HORATIO told his alien overlords that “he really needed to take a leak,” else he might, by accident, piss all over the newly polished stone. Begrudgingly, the space aliens granted him a 5 minute break, so that he could relieve himself. While relieving himself, HORATIO took a piece of limestone, that he had sharpened earlier that day at the quarry, and tied it tightly with a piece of leather, around a sturdy piece of wood. He took his new tool and walked over to DONATELLO (the space alien who had whipped him, repeatedly, in the face with laser beams) and proclaimed: “FUCK YOU, YOU’RE DEAD,” while striking him with a makeshift clawhammer in the face—until it caved.

That was the day the legend of HORATIO CLAWHAMMER was born.

UPDATE: I bought 25,000 tickets of CFSG.

“The Chinese Lotto Guy (TCLG)” is at peace with himself and the Earth today, despite his fierce opposition to renewable energy and birds. His positions are “clamming higher,” as everyone tries to get a piece of the lotto trade. As word gets out, regarding Chinese lotto, the more tainted the trade will become; hence, eliminating any edge to the position. I’ve spoken in jest, regarding chicoms; but they have redeemed my position with great speed. It would have taken much longer with pedestrian/jackass American companies. Because of this fact, and only this fact, I am “TCLG.”

As my Bose radio reverberates the walls of my kingdom/office, with the tunes of God himself, I am reminded of why I invest in stocks. Do not try to pry for answers, small pleb. Some things are best kept secret, close to the vest. Just understand, my winship is monumental, while yours is just temporary respite from a dogs hell.

As I close out this essay, I am up 1.9% for the day.

Top picks: HEAT, FUQI, BORN, CAAS, SCOK (The S-Cok), EJ, GU

Geez, time whizzes by, especially when sleep deprived. I’m unwinding a bit here, only because I don’t want to commit too much capital to new lotto ventures, after so many wins. I sold out of FEED and CHNG and nibbled on some BORN; but that’s about it. I’m not really interested in adding to names here, especially following such high PPT readings.

Having said that, don’t think for a second TCLG is going back to the bear cave. I’m having too much fun, winning money through random dart throws into my garbage basket filled with ticker symbols, than to waste my fucking time prognosticating the end of the world. Believe you me, there are plenty of stocks worth buying now; I’m just not in the mood to buy them.

I want you to understand something, listen very closely: I am not making “small inroads” into my VXX loss. I am making up huge ground, nailing double digit winner after double digit jackpot. I hope you dicksuckers pay attention to my winners, half as much as my losers.