Get Your Fucking Bow Ties Ready

Take any insolent asshat, slap a bow tie on him and voila: he’s a fucking genius. Someone give that pie eater with the bow tie some money to manage and fast. So you know, “The Fly” has been actively roaming the streets of Manhattan, testing out his new bow tie attire. The usual scene is me quickly descending upon homeless men and slapping them with bushels of corn, then quickly escaping the wrath of the military via 1980’s style limousine transport.

Despite the rally in bonds (see TLT), the dollar is going to zero. You just need to be prepared to deal with European fuckery on a large scale, which can get in the way of a good rally or two, prior to seeing it. Since my plan to focus on commodities, I’ve regained more than 5%, helped by some of my legacy positions climbing higher too. But, bottom line, I am now trading with the confidence of a starved lion trapped inside of an opera house filled with obese people in wheel chairs.

The current portfolio is long CENX, CLF, WNR, AKS, ALJ, CVI, KOG, OXY, ATPG, just to name a few. All of my positions, with time stamp and price, are found inside of The PPT. Fuck you to anyone who says I am not transparent. If I was anymore transparent, I’d have you assholes looking under my door when I am in the lavatory (creepy).

Look, you’re just gonna have to trust me on this one. Get your fucking bow ties out and wear them, okay. Do not feel as if you are some sort of special olympics spastic fuckstick (really weird guy) for donning it. Simply explain to people “this is the uniform one wears when bullish on inflation and long commodities.”Once you tell them that, they’ll leave you alone and you might even get a date or two out of the ordeal. I am sure people who like commodities have been wearing bow ties for thousands of years, if not billions. Quit starving your family of beluga caviar dreams and get with the program, else you will be shining my shoes, extra shiny, in no time at all.

NOTE: Former iBC tabbed blogger and current equity holder in iBankCoin, Danny aka Spydercrusher, has been nailing the market using his system. I should’ve linked to his blog a long time ago. I am terrible at linking and should go two days without beluga caviar, as a penalty, for this heinous crime.

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At the end of the day, life is about gambles. I’ve tried my hand at thousands of bets, some went awry, most to my favour [sic]. As it pertains to the art of propeur [sic] money management, I’ve made my bed in WNR and now I intend to sleep in it. I shall sleep while bombs drops around me. I cannot be wrong, since this specific pick comes from the depths of the most distinguished urinal shadow known to mankind. He smokes cigars and cuts the penises off of people he doesn’t like, with a box cutter. I will have you know, he and I are friends. We chat it up, discuss current events and toss pinless hand grenades around for catch.

For the day, I was up a lot, as the stock Gods blessed my date of birth. I stepped in hard, buying up commodity related shares without regard for bear raids or homosexual Greek protests. I am on the path of winship and I will plant my black flag in the faces of all of you who doubt me, inside of 2 short weeks.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpbzfogirOw 616 500]

Look what algorithm nailed the bottom again.

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I bought KOG, personal, for the win.

UPDATE: I put 10% of assets in CLF.

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In an age where the news is propaganda, Mark Haines gave it to me straight, nearly every business day, for as long as I’ve been watching CNBC. I relied on Mark to cut through the bullshit, shoot down idiot guests, and comfort me during turmoil. He was a great anchor and will be missed immensly. I am especially appreciative of his work immediately following the 9/11 tragedies and during the financial crisis. No matter how bad things were, Mark was there, albeit dripping with sarcasm, to help me through the day.

I am saddened to share my birthday with the day of his demise. But, unfortunately, we all have to go sometime. It just sucks to see him depart so young. My condolences go out to his family. May the memories of him help get you through the pain.

How ’bout a late day rally?

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aY4UUUAfA3Q 616 500]

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I added to the above names, without regard for your opinions.

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My trusty birthday thief and fellow iBC blogger, Senator Gint, has been right all along with the precious metals, despite the multitude of mini-horrific-financial car wrecks he has endured, which is part and parcel of commodity investing. Do not let the bullshit from the banks or tech sector distract you. Silver and gold is telling you exactly what you need to know: inflation is on the way, in earnest.

Hopefully, in my lifetime, I will be able to eat a $100 tomato and drive throughout NYC rush hour, without having to honk my horn.

Listen to me very quietly and never question me again: the western money changers want to remain in power. To do this, they will debase western currencies. As a result, stocks and commodities will soar. The leaders will be found in the commodity sector. Quit trying to find the next AAPL and position yourself to benefit from the dilution of the money inside of your K-Mart jeans.

Top picks: OXY, WNR, ATPG, CENX, AKS, CLF, CVI

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Yes, we want the market to crumble, like a coffee cake. I’d like to see traders shriek in panic and vomit on each other, amidst clouds of black smoke and shards of metal. With my cash hoarde [sic], I intend to buy the pension liquidations of CNBC personalities, preferably those without hair or brawn. Moreover, it’s very relevant for me to see a cornucopia of hedge fund failures, followed by entire nations defaulting on their obligations. When all of these things are accomplished, “The Fly” shall be fully invested.

Until then, I will, methodically, acquire dips—like deviants purchasing fellatio from hookers in the South of Bronx. My targets are commodity related shares. By the time I am done buying them, I too will don a bow tie and visit CNBC Asia to tell them how stupid they all are for trusting Dr. Bernanke and allowing for bailouts to occur. I will discuss many things, such as the unnecessary bailouts of arson victims and how fires should “burn their way out, naturally,” as they have for thousands if not billions of years. I will protest any and all government projects, such as police departments and prisons. Society should quit relying on governments to bail them out. Put your own prisoners to death, as was done back in the ancient days of Carthage.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4mcQEipU-s&feature=youtu.be 616 500] [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zr-9BegAyhc&feature=youtu.be 616 500] [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTTd6KGNnQM&feature=related 616 500] [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juEYHB4ZOgM&feature=related 616 500]

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Despite today’s decline in the general indices, it was a terrific day for commodity related stocks. I believe the stocks are telling you what’s coming.

As a result, I am now heavily positioned in OXY, ATPG, WNR, CENX, AKS and EXK. Additionally, I am long shares of ALJ and CVI.

In short, I put my money where my mouth is and will be eagerly awaiting to see positive results.

As an aside, I booked an egregious personal loss in ZSL, after having an equally egregious paper profit just one week ago. Ten years ago to the date (I remember because tomorrow is my birthday), I booked a tragic loss in my personal account. Let’s just call it my ten year anniversary. And, yes, history does have a weird way of repeating itself.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZ88oTITMoM 616 500]

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I initiated new positions in ATPG and CENX and added to my WNR.

UPDATE: I bought AKS.

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I sold AG near the high of the day and added to my OXY position almost 1 point below the current price. I sold TLT 10 cents cheaper and now find myself scratching my balls, watching the market knife lower. I have NO INTEREST in catching this knife. Remember, the end result will be joyous for inflationistas. But it’s a long trip until that is realized. We could lift off from 10% lower from here. That’s why it’s important for you to time your buys, ever so carefully.

Make no mistake, we are oversold and well deserving of a face ripping rally. But if the perception of European ineptitude permeates and marinates in the small minds of American money managers, you will see the Dow throw up chunks on itself. For this reason, “The Fly” remains at 50% cash, heavily long OXY, WNR, EXK and time.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0q0ZFTuN-c 616 500]

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