A Late Night Treatise

The felicity you feel now will soon sour and turn into a blinding apathy, filled with regrets and feelings of yearning to repeat the past. The vast majority of you are incapable of effecting positive growth in your trading accounts and are best suited for long term capital growth. But now that you’ve enjoyed a modicum of success and feel noteworthy, bragging to your wives about your stupid gains, I am obligated to remind you to take profits and feel solace in knowing you grabbed the fat middle.

Only Space Alien Magicians (SAM) like Le Fly are capable of pushing the envelope and seizing returns that shouldn’t belong to me. Out of nowhere, I appears, ax in hand, chopping heads and dicks off.

During my lifetime, I’ve come across just a handful of truly great traders — but even those moronic apes were only able to see things one way and would soon get abolished from the field of play once the market had turned lower and melded their trophies into an albatross from which to drown with.

At times, “The Fly” appears to be rudderless and ineffective. But I am probing, with my alien vessel — searching for a rhythm. Once zoned in, as I am now, absolutely no one is better than me. I crush both long and short waves and ride them until they dissipate.

Let this late night blog post serve as a reminder to those out there — especially the young punks who’ve only recently discovered these hallowed grounds — “The Fly” is a primordial force of both vengeance and empathetic kindness whose life mission is to grace the internets with generous comportment and thru cheap vaudeville type antics — a never ending array of unkempt enemies — relegated to fagboxes, and such, elevated to new bright heights atop cascading mountains of victories that will one day be reflected on as the very best trader and commentator to seize upon finance — encroaching on 20,000 blog posts, unmatched by anyone ever — in the history of online financial publications.

Bored. Site was down for an hour and I wished it never came back up. Nowadays I spend my time babysitting novices and hope to God they don’t blow themselves to smithereens. Le Fly is an extremely emphatic person, in spite of his hardened and robust exterior. I worry about some of you — always attempting to get rich quickly, without going through the rigors of time, and with it, experience.

We have upside left in the QQQs. I’m still looking for $175.

I have magnanimous gains now, sitting atop of a small fortune. Just last week, members of Exodus, my private and premium service, poked fun and laughed at my recent trading mishaps; now they’re all shining my shoes. Everywhere I go there are enemies. Even at home, there are elements within House Fly attempting to subvert me at every turn. It should be noted, and also taken as advice for young and eager family men, to never take, nor accept, tumultuous conversation as something you should even remotely consider. Best to simply chalk it up to a genetic malady and go about your day. Every so often, you might get tangled in their web of anger; but you’d be wise to quickly extricate yourselves from it with a buoyant exit and to stay fixed on work.

When life becomes glum and also grim, you’re best served to be industrious and set aside the distractions for a later date.

Some of my pot stocks have given back their gains, but I’m in no rush to sell anything now. I’ve made it a point to see this thru and I shall stick to my word, as my bond, in order to realize a greater glory in the future. “The Fly’s” dominion shall stretch wide and thick, smothering all other stock jockeys with vicious slaps to the face.

GOOD DAY.

This is a fever that is not supported by fundamentals. Let’s be clear about that. The sector, as compiled in Exodus, is up 50% over the past month. To that end, I am pushing the envelope and generally do not fear pull backs. I am rigid in that regard and do not take advice from anyone. I’ve found that my own voice is the most clear and trustworthy voice in the world, to me. All other people around me are, generally speaking, untrustworthy and have proven as such over a rich and long history of being wrong.

You too might find advice being liberally doled out to you by people who dislike you or from those who love to talk and not do. Le Fly, by all measures, is a serial outperformer. Because of this genetic trait, I find stocks that carry my spirit animal.

Presently, I am long JVA, WTER, SONO, TLRY, ZYNE, YEXT, ESTC, DTEA, SPOT, SQ — just to name a few. I am all in, and have been so since last week.

Earlier today I swapped my INCY for CBLK. And now I just bought YGYI — another small cap cannabis play. In light of the pin action in today’s pot stocks, I like my chances for a fucking gorilla roll higher.

I’m long SONO and like that’s it’s up today. But let’s be honest here. JP Morgan doesn’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. Apple isn’t buying shit. They will never spend their money to buy another company. They have so much money — they can do that shit themselves.

JPMorgan wrote that the category of smart home speakers were among the industries with “the most strategic value,” for Apple, “providing potential growth opportunities to leverage services over a wider installed base.”

Apple is “currently lagging competitors in the smart home category,” JPMorgan wrote, referring to the company’s HomePod product line. Sonos, in contrast, has a “differentiated position as a premium home speaker system relative to Amazon Alexa and Google Home,” along with “strong loyalty among current customers and [a] robust international presence.”

Do you sell on this news? Perhaps. I’m not, mainly because I’m complacent.

I have a piece of shit penny stock that I am keeping secret from your FUCKERS, which is up 100% the past few days. All of the gents and ladies in Exodus have purchased said shares and have bought lambos with the proceeds.

Also, I sold SCWX for 10.5%.

Also, I bought WTER — because they put pot in alkaline water. How can you go wrong?

Bear witness to my JVA, TLRY and ZYNE positions, and SONO, and now STFU.

Most of you behaved like 15 year old boys last night — eating ‘hoagies’ and drinking inordinate amount of Coors Light, which we learned his made with lots and lots of corn syrup. I will have you know, Le Fly only nibbled on some chicken wings that he made, which was lightly imbued with a homemade teriyaki sauce. The great thing about knowing how to cook is eating well.

My beverage choice was Apple cider, low ABV, then topped off with some whiskey later on in the evening once the company began to wane on me and become heavy and unbearable. I was glad to say goodbye and, quite frankly, I wish I never have to see them again.

Early this morning, it looks like Starboard is attempting to dick-around with PZZA. Whatever. Who orders that nonsense anymore? I’m guessing people who cannot cool and therefore do not eat well.

Buried in the Papa John’s release on $200 million investment from Starboard: Same-store sales fell 10.5% in January, worse than the 8.1% decline in 4Q.

Reasons: Brand challenges, loyalty program conversion and “ineffective promotions in the heightened competitive environment."

— Jonathan Maze (@jonathanmaze) February 4, 2019

My ZYNE is popping pre-market. Other than that, only gold is notable to the downside. I expect another easy day for stocks — drifting, mind you, higher — under a cloud of protection by the Federal Reserve. On a personal front, not much doing for me today — but a busy schedule for the rest of the week.

Tom Brady won again. Deal with it, FagLords. It’s true, I am both a wordsmith and a belligerent malcontent from a corridor of Brooklyn — pre-gentrification.

Here’s a chart for you lemon-grabbers to choke on. What say you?

Yesterday we discussed the important matter of breakfast. Today, we will discuss lunch.

In my experiences as a gentleman stockbroker, the people who ventured off for lunch were sloth-like wastrels. They were the people who were fat around the gullet, obediently caving into to misanthropic behavior — eating their lives away in the middle of the day, for the purposes of having a break. In my world, lunch is for wimps. One does not take lunch breaks — because one has things to do.

“Lunch should be banned at the corporate level — because it denigrates productivity and leads the help down a ruinous path of unhealthy living and obesity, which in turn is the leading cause of diabetes and divorce.” — Le Fly

It’s a terrible habit, venturing off for lunch. Most of the time it’s an expensive affair, steak at noon, paired with a delicious béarnaise and perhaps a glass of Bordeaux — maybe three. By the time you get back to the office, the day is nearly done. You’ll remain in your seat for most of the day, digesting too much food, tired and whimsically stupid from the wine. Dare I say, employers should prohibit lunch all together and instead hire in house chef’s to prepare health meals for the work force. People cannot be given the responsibility of choosing their own intra-day meals. Some will cheapen the affair and eat junk, others will overdo it and place themselves into a food coma. Given the fatness of America, very few, statistically speaking, will eat a meaningful healthy lunch.

When at home and on the weekends, Le Fly has been known to nibble on small morsels of grilled chicken, strands of lettuce, maybe even a tiny bit of bread — if feeling especially famished, for the express purposes of extended his appetite into a supple sup.

You needn’t ever buy boxes of cereal from the store. If you do, bear in mind that is the preferred meal of homeless people around the world. And, the contents inside said boxes are genetically modified to provide you with a life time of diabetes and cancer. I know these things. Trust me, I’m a Dr.

Adding sugar to anything is never appropriate, unless of course you’re mixing cocktails and desperately find yourself in need of a ginger rosemary pear simple syrup to wash in with a jigger of gin and some lemon juice. I will reserve a cocktail post for a later date.

This morning I made myself a simple bowl of oated meal. I do not buy the barrel ass brown sugar, maple syrup crap — just plain old rolled oats. To flavor the oats, I neatly placed one teaspoon of locally sources honey and several dashes of cinnamon. My beverage of choice — coffee — fresh ground. Normally, I prefer it black, but there are times when I need the temperature lower and I am forced to put milk. It should be noted, I also place the milk in BEFORE the coffee. This way when the scalding hot coffee is splashed into the cup — a slight emulsification occurs. If given more time, I’d simply make myself a latte, which is better. That requires 1/4 cup of espresso, 3/4ths heated and frothed milk. For cappuccinos, 50/50 split.

Other go to morning meals include:

French Omelette. This isn’t Grandma’s fucked up charred egg dish. You need to manage the heat for the French Omelette and ensure you do not brown it at all. The inside should not be well done when you roll it and place it into dish. Chef Pepin is the master at the omelette. You can view it here, thru some guy attempting to duplicate Pepin’s process.

French toast.

Two eggs. 4 pieces of bread. milk, cinnamon, vanilla extract. You are making a custard and dipping your bread into it. The way people fuck up this recipe is my under-stirring the eggs. The result is fucking eggs on their bread and it looks disgusting and people want to kill you.

Panned cakes.

Flour, milk, vanilla, butter, pinch of salt, baking powder. DO NOT OVERMIX. That will make panned cakes rubbery.

Smoked salmon.

Cut up salmon, add lemon, mayonnaise, bourbon, pinch salt, serve with poached egg and bellini. This is a complicated process and recipe. You can view it here.

Lastly, there are many other ways to prefer eggs. For sunny side, place a little butter in pan, crack egg, and cover it. That’s how you cook the top — you fucking morons. For soft boiled, bring water to the boil, place eggs in pot — remove from pot after exactly 6 minutes and into cold water to stop cooking. You will find the 6 minute egg to be prefect, just like this blog.

I don’t want to hear anything about Amazon being in a ‘bear market’ — or how the market really reversed today and let us down. I don’t want to hear shit — because crude is soaring and that’s all you need to know. Imagine yourself to be a complete idiot, not so much different from your present form. You’re trying your hand at stocks and desperately need an edge.

ENTER CRUDE.

Crude will show you the promise land. The market is fixated on it, believe me.

As for me, I am sure you’ve all been so fucking concerned with my state of affairs. I see you left 5 god damned messages on my pervious post. I’m guessing all there is to this god forsaken site has already been extracted and neatly placed in Exodus. Over there, we have a grand old time, belly-flopping into pools of penny stocks that double over night. It begs the question — should I ever bother to keep writing here? That last sentence is more important than you think — and I’m sure some of you absolute apes missed it and glossed over it as more Fly nonsense.

I’ve tried my hand at just about all forms of creative writing since I started iBC. I’ve been ribose, distinguished, kind, mean, political, comedic, melancholy — and now I’m being mature. This blog has exceeded its utility and has graced the internets with thousands of hours of laughter and insightful commentary. However, I am pressed for time and would like to dedicate myself to a life of leisure, spending time by the fire with a brandy — reading a good book.

I just got done reading East of Eden and it took my a while to finish — because I read 3-4 books at a time. Let me tell you, Steinbeck is a master and an unbelievable story teller. What a magnificent piece of art. His prose isn’t exactly my favorite. For that I still prefer F. Scott — but I’ve never read a book as grande and thoroughly perfect as East of Eden.

Currently, I am reading The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman. I suggest you do the same.

Markets are sweeping gently into the bell. It was a fine week and you need to stop panicking. Crude is up, after all.