iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
19,617 Blog Posts

Breakfast is for Champions

You needn’t ever buy boxes of cereal from the store. If you do, bear in mind that is the preferred meal of homeless people around the world. And, the contents inside said boxes are genetically modified to provide you with a life time of diabetes and cancer. I know these things. Trust me, I’m a Dr.

Adding sugar to anything is never appropriate, unless of course you’re mixing cocktails and desperately find yourself in need of a ginger rosemary pear simple syrup to wash in with a jigger of gin and some lemon juice. I will reserve a cocktail post for a later date.

This morning I made myself a simple bowl of oated meal. I do not buy the barrel ass brown sugar, maple syrup crap — just plain old rolled oats. To flavor the oats, I neatly placed one teaspoon of locally sources honey and several dashes of cinnamon. My beverage of choice — coffee — fresh ground. Normally, I prefer it black, but there are times when I need the temperature lower and I am forced to put milk. It should be noted, I also place the milk in BEFORE the coffee. This way when the scalding hot coffee is splashed into the cup — a slight emulsification occurs. If given more time, I’d simply make myself a latte, which is better. That requires 1/4 cup of espresso, 3/4ths heated and frothed milk. For cappuccinos, 50/50 split.

Other go to morning meals include:

French Omelette. This isn’t Grandma’s fucked up charred egg dish. You need to manage the heat for the French Omelette and ensure you do not brown it at all. The inside should not be well done when you roll it and place it into dish. Chef Pepin is the master at the omelette. You can view it here, thru some guy attempting to duplicate Pepin’s process.

French toast.

Two eggs. 4 pieces of bread. milk, cinnamon, vanilla extract. You are making a custard and dipping your bread into it. The way people fuck up this recipe is my under-stirring the eggs. The result is fucking eggs on their bread and it looks disgusting and people want to kill you.

Panned cakes.

Flour, milk, vanilla, butter, pinch of salt, baking powder. DO NOT OVERMIX. That will make panned cakes rubbery.

Smoked salmon.

Cut up salmon, add lemon, mayonnaise, bourbon, pinch salt, serve with poached egg and bellini. This is a complicated process and recipe. You can view it here.

Lastly, there are many other ways to prefer eggs. For sunny side, place a little butter in pan, crack egg, and cover it. That’s how you cook the top — you fucking morons. For soft boiled, bring water to the boil, place eggs in pot — remove from pot after exactly 6 minutes and into cold water to stop cooking. You will find the 6 minute egg to be prefect, just like this blog.

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22 comments

  1. heckler

    I’ll chime in here because this is a great post! I love your approach to cooking your delectables. I’m personally a great chef and can cook better than any restaurant in Seattle and for much cheaper and cleaner (not the mention the breakfast lines which can suck me sideways with a mimosa). Do you get your recipes from books? Any other channels you recommend, Chef de Cuisine du Fly?

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  2. trumpmeister

    ROFL, Doctor. Sure…

    Do you mean a D.H.M.?

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  3. edge

    Browned sugar, cinnamon, and butter are the best way to eat oated meal in the opinion of this Gentleman.

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  4. ferd

    Fine, if you want to settle for pancakes of the IHop ilk.

    Try making 2/3s of the dry ingredients using a combination of fresh ground hard red wheat and organic corn meal and only 1/3 unbleached flour. (Regular supermarket corn meal is poison and taste awful.) Importantly, for proper texture substitute Greek yogurt for about 2/3s of the milk.

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  5. edge

    Oh, and I smoke my own salmon. Well-smoked salmon is great for recipes. It tastes so good you can’t fuck it up.

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    • heckler

      Where do you live? I want to get into smoking I’m serious about it. Out here I can literally catch my own salmon and oysters for smoking.

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  6. compiled composite
    compiled composite

    White flour is not so far removed from boxes of cereal with a tendency to make me soft and malleable about the girth

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  7. moosh

    Regarding French omelette, as with most things to cook – isn’t having foods at room temp before throwing them to fire, an important step?

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  8. juice

    i do recommend aluminum-free baking powder for those panned cakes

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  9. mushroomz

    Sorry about your hero 6ix9ine

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  10. the hungry dog

    In Texas we have a food called Breakfast Tacos. Nothing better for breakfast!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5cTGUVK1CM

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    • edge

      At our house in the woods near the Arkansas border I eat a lot of breakfast burritos. Spicy hamburger, eggs, cheese, and a variety of salsa.

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  11. mx2101

    2 cups of black French Roast coffee, no sugar. 21.2 ounces of plain non-fat yogurt; presently prefer Iselandic Provisions plain, but will accept Chobani plain.

    A couple hours later, an abundance of vitamins.

    Still not eating chicken or red meat. Been several years now. Only issue is sometimes I have a craving for something substantial, which can lead to more carbs than I’d like.

    Eventually I will drop dead. But so far, so good.

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  12. one-eighty

    Buttermilk Pancakes.

    1 cup flour
    3 tsp sugar
    1/2 tsp salt
    1/2 tsp baking soda
    3/4 tsp baking powder.

    1 egg
    3 tblsp oil
    1 cup buttermilk

    Before you start, put frying pan on stove with a small glug of oil and preheat

    Put all dry ingredients in a bowl and mix thoroughly

    In separate bowl or 2 cup measuring cup
    put in egg and oil.and mix thoroughly with a fork to emulsify the oil
    add buttermilk and mix well

    Add wet ingredients to dry and mix until everything is wet, but there still can be lumps.

    Make pancakes! Fry until bottom is golden and bubbles on top, flip and fry until golden. For second batch, gently spoon batter into pan trying to maintain the air in the batter.

    If you make too many, they freeze well.

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