Lunch is For Wimps

Yesterday we discussed the important matter of breakfast. Today, we will discuss lunch.

In my experiences as a gentleman stockbroker, the people who ventured off for lunch were sloth-like wastrels. They were the people who were fat around the gullet, obediently caving into to misanthropic behavior — eating their lives away in the middle of the day, for the purposes of having a break. In my world, lunch is for wimps. One does not take lunch breaks — because one has things to do.

“Lunch should be banned at the corporate level — because it denigrates productivity and leads the help down a ruinous path of unhealthy living and obesity, which in turn is the leading cause of diabetes and divorce.” — Le Fly

It’s a terrible habit, venturing off for lunch. Most of the time it’s an expensive affair, steak at noon, paired with a delicious béarnaise and perhaps a glass of Bordeaux — maybe three. By the time you get back to the office, the day is nearly done. You’ll remain in your seat for most of the day, digesting too much food, tired and whimsically stupid from the wine. Dare I say, employers should prohibit lunch all together and instead hire in house chef’s to prepare health meals for the work force. People cannot be given the responsibility of choosing their own intra-day meals. Some will cheapen the affair and eat junk, others will overdo it and place themselves into a food coma. Given the fatness of America, very few, statistically speaking, will eat a meaningful healthy lunch.

When at home and on the weekends, Le Fly has been known to nibble on small morsels of grilled chicken, strands of lettuce, maybe even a tiny bit of bread — if feeling especially famished, for the express purposes of extended his appetite into a supple sup.