There isn’t much work for me to do when the NASDAQ is up a record highs so let us analyze something else. ‘I feel threatened’ guy is a video that went viral last Tuesday. It features a man (his name doesn’t matter) at a Costco in Florida, who has a complete breakdown and acts like an upset baby. This guy really cracked me up. If you haven’t seen the video yet, here it is:
THIS MAN HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED, FIRED FROM HIS CORPORATE INSURANCE JOB, AND TWITTER TROLLS HAVE RUINED HIS LIFEpic.twitter.com/gE4q0X6fiw
— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) July 7, 2020
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My first instinct was the condemn the man’s behavior, but after analyzing the situation a bit more, and adding a few layers of context, he’s actually quite adorable (if only terribly misguided). I am going to break down exactly what is going on here and why we all should have a bit of empathy for this sad, sad man.
He is losing his hair. Now before you shame me for judging his appearance I’ll admit that my hairline is not what it used to be. When I was a swarthy young lad it was coarse and robust and nearly met my eyebrows. At 35, it has moved higher and my widow’s peak is sharp and quite sinister. I can relate to how upsetting this can be. The world by-and-large favors humans with hairy heads. Doors swing wide open when a nice hair doo approaches. It can be a challenge to accept being dealt inferior hair genetics. It can make people sad and want to cry like a baby. This particular fella even resembles the popular determined baby meme which is a whole other layer of silly appearance. See below:
The angry white man, by and large, is being excommunicated from American pop and business culture. This can feel like a major threat, when nobody wants to engage with you professionally or socially. It can make you feel like you’re cornered. This is an unsettling position to be in. Unfortunately for angry white men, they in fact are running out of options. They can choose to change—read some books, keep a gratitude diary, meditate A LOT, do a few thousand hours of community service, seek professional therapy—or they can double down on their grumpy frumpy ways. They may find some marginalized group of fellow angry men to cavort around with. Maybe they can form a motorcycle club and jack each other off but options for reintegration into modern progressive society are limited. The ‘I feel threatened’ guys of America have much work to do if they are to be accepted.
Grocery stores are stressful and babies get a free pass to scream and wale their way through. Is it fair to empathize with a small baby who is overwhelmed with dread while inside these giant metal sensory overload boxes and not do that same for an upset little man? I’ve seen it a thousand times. A baby is crying like a demon. All the woman give it this look. It’s like the women’s eyes turn into little upside down half moons and well up. They want to nurture the baby and make it to feel better. None of these woman want help RAUL remove the thick blanket of anxiety draped on his person at the shopping store. I am expected to handle my business in an orderly manner and be on my way. We all want to cry sometimes and that should be okay. Grocery stores need to do better. A start might be removing all the dead animals festooned into glass cases along the store perimeters. That suffering vibration is sad and affects us all.
Now I may be just a simple gardener and futures trader, but I regard my park bench psychological analysis and grasp of modern society to be decent. The ‘I feel threatened’ old boy needs help and deserves our empathy. He is pale, balding, he lives in Florida for fucked sake. The sun there is not kind to his skin. Plus that whole state is screwed up. Filled with crazy folks and corona viruses. We have to help him to understand that his type is no longer wanted in modern business or pop culture. We have to let him know we think it sucks too as men to dress ourselves and go shopping. Maybe we show him some of the latest styles from Tom Ford and help him cultivate some style. I mean, this stuff is hard without help. What is a man’s breaking point?
For more on this topic, of what can cause a man to snap and throw a baby-like fit, I suggest watching Jim Carry’s latest teevee show Kidding on Hulu. It is a wonderful deep dive into the psyche of a man pushed to the brink by external influence.
If you or someone you love finds themselves in the precarious position of being an angry white man, this quote from Marcus Aurelius might be the mantra to help apply the brakes. To stop and reassess before returning to action:
Objective judgement, now at this very moment
Unselfish action, now at this very moment
Willing acceptance, now at this very moment, for all external events
That is all you need
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