Here Are This Morning’s Significant Happenings in Drunken Analyst Upgrade/Downgrade World

Before taking their morning glasses of whiskey, the analyst community on Wall Street, bright and early, issued their edicts on the state of America’s corporate world — judged by the proverbial thumbs up/down approach in an upgrade/downgrade game of carnivale smoke and mirrors, the clown edition.

Via Briefing:

JBT Corp initiated with a Neutral at BofA/Merrill; tgt $89
Shutterfly: Aegis Capital sees limited impact from Google Photos, buy the weakness
Tenax Therapeutics upgraded to Buy at Ladenburg Thalmann
BioLineRx upgrade details — to Buy at Maxim Group; tgt raised to $3
Pure Storage downgraded to Equal-Weight from Overweight at Morgan Stanley
BioLineRx upgraded to Buy from Hold at Maxim Group
Take-Two: Thoughts into the Q4 print — Stifel
Jacobs upgraded to Overweight from Neutral at Alembic Global Advisors
Synopsys: Color on Quarter (
Achillion Pharma upgraded to Outperform from Mkt Perform at Leerink Partners
B&G Foods downgraded to Neutral from Outperform at Credit Suisse
PTC initiation details — Buy at The Benchmark Company; tgt $65
Aurinia Pharma target lowered to $10 from $12 at H.C. Wainwright after first patient dosed in AURORA and the Q1 results from earlier in the week
PTC initiated with a Buy at The Benchmark Company; tgt $65
Symantec downgraded to Neutral from Buy at UBS
United Bankshares upgraded to Neutral from Under Perform at Boenning & Scattergood
CarMax upgraded to Outperform from Neutral at Wedbush
Veritiv upgraded to Outperform from Market Perform at Wells Fargo
Teladoc initiated with a Overweight at KeyBanc Capital Mkts; tgt $37
Citizens Financial Group initiated with a Underperform at Macquarie; tgt $33
Endologix downgraded to Neutral from Buy at BTIG Research; tgt $7
Grainger downgraded to Sell from Hold at Deutsche Bank
Colfax initiated with a Outperform at Credit Suisse; tgt $47
Shake Shack upgraded to Outperform from Neutral at Wedbush
First Solar downgrade details — to Neutral at Robert W. Baird; tgt $38
Pentair upgraded to Overweight from Sector Weight at KeyBanc Capital Mkts
Jack In The Box downgraded to Sector Weight from Overweight at KeyBanc Capital Mkts
Douglas Emmett downgraded to Neutral from Buy at DA Davidson
Monmouth Real Estate, Lakeland Financial (LKFN) both upgraded to Buy from Neutral at DA Davidson
Noble Corp PLC upgraded to Neutral from Reduce at Nomura
Hanover Insurance upgraded to Mkt Perform from Underperform at Keefe Bruyette
Telefonica S.A. upgraded to Buy from Neutral at Goldman
Stratasys downgraded to Hold from Buy at Jefferies
Camden Property upgraded to Outperform from In Line at Evercore ISI
Essex Property downgraded to Hold from Buy at SunTrust
Expedia downgraded to Mkt Perform from Outperform at Raymond James
Bank of Montreal upgraded to Buy from Neutral at Citigroup
Progressive upgraded to Hold from Sell at Deutsche Bank
First Solar downgraded to Neutral from Outperform at Robert W. Baird
Endologix downgraded to Hold at Stifel; tgt lowered to $5.50
Ascena Retail Group target lowered to $3 at Telsey Advisory Group

Reuters is reporting the Trump campaign had 18 previous undisclosed Russian contacts. I believe General Flynn and others might’ve eaten out at a Russian restaurant and purchased a bottle of Russian vodka, without disclosing they had done so.

On this news, futures are in the hole to the tune of -40. The Dow futures have been all over the road from +50 to -100, to where it is now.

European stocks are down by 1%, with Spain and Italy bearing the brunt — off by 1.6%.

Copper is getting hammered by 2%, WTI -1% and gold is flat.

The Trump administration just gave their 90 day notice to inform Congress that they are renegotiating NAFTA.

And the President is calling the ‘deep state’ assault on him the ‘single biggest witch hunt in American history.’

This is the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in American history!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 18, 2017

Congressman Chaffetz, who chairs a House committee with broad investigative powers, told Tucker Carlson this evening the democrats were employing a ‘scorched earth’ strategy of ‘burning everything down’ — because they don’t have policies or power to exert in DC.

Chaffetz said of the Trump-Russian hysteria, “I am happy to pursue it, but I don’t have anybody actually presenting me any evidence. And now that we’re this many months into it, come up with something. […] They are just non-stop, no accountability (audible laughter).

CNN’s Dana Bash took to the airwaves this evening to chastise the President for his demeanor towards the unelected 4th branch of government, the ‘intelligence community.’

Speaking freely, Ms. Bash suggested the recent leaks that depicted Trump leaking ‘top secret’ intel to the Russians, and the Comey memos, were acts of revenge by people inside the IC for the way that the President fired Director Comey.

Earlier today, President Putin responded to the unchastened lunacy taking place by the leftist wing of government, calling it ‘political schizophrenia.’

He added, ‘when we were looking at how the internal political battle was developing in the U.S., we thought it was funny. As of today, it’s not just sad, but concerning to us because it’s hard to imagine what the people who produce such nonsense can come up with next. This is all being done based on stirring anti-Russian sentiment.’

Let me explain something to you punk-idiot-morons. The ‘Trump rally’ that emblazoned your portfolios with capricious gains post election were predicated on two things.

1. yield curve widening the fuck out, bestowing instant profits into the coffers of our local and beloved billionaire banksters.
2. economic stimuli that was supposed to stoke inflation, causing the price of commodities and yields to run higher with wages.

Guess what, fucked faces? All of that has been canceled. If we’re going to price out the Trump wall building extravaganza, higher wages, better trade deals, gigantic infrastructure builds, lower taxes, healthcare reform, then what will we be left with?

Answer: a bag of dicks and negative interest rates.

On election night, the 10yr treasury was yielding 1.82%. Today, it’s north of 2.22%, in spite of today’s dramatic 11bps collapse.

The spread between the 2-10 year treasury, aka the automatic profit the banks enjoy, is now below 100bps for the first time since the election. Without question, the flattening of the yield curve is the market’s way of saying ‘growth is slowing’, danger is ahead.

BMO Capital chimes in.

The day generated little in the way of new information but did serve to highlight how all-consuming the Trump news cycle had become. With little data and nothing from the Fed, the market was left largely dwelling on the headlines and broader implications for Trump’s policy objectives, not to mention the possibilities of impeachment. Though we’re very much on board with the view that we’re unlikely to receive much fiscal stimulus in the long-run, the speed of the move suggests a short squeeze and some consolidation (bounce in yields) in the coming days.

The main issue with the yield curve collapsing to pre-election levels is that the financials haven’t moved in sync. Here are some high profile names in the financial and their 6 mo returns.

SIVB +17%
DB +16%
CIT +14%
BAC +13%
MTB +13%
JPM +9%
C +9%
CFR +7.6%
CS +5.3%
USB +5.2%
UBS +4.5%
GS +2.5%

Try to justify why any of those banks should be higher year to date? You can’t.

This is likely the first day in many down days, as the dogged summer approaches — bringing with it impeachment proceedings for our first ‘America first’ President since Reagan.

Stocks cascaded lower — led by tech and banks. It was truly a diversified blood letting, with the bulk of the losses found in high beta trades. My ‘bubble basket’ endured a heart attack drop of 3.7%, while my conservative leaning ‘old man portfolio’ fell by only 0.66%.

As for me, I told you so.

Exodus oversold signals will be at a premium now, in light of this dislocation. Do not expect any free handouts nor trials, so fuck off.

Here is an anecdotal discussion that is likely taking place inside of every asset management firm of repute now, in light of recent Trump controversy. There’s nothing worse than the unknown — the dark, cavernous, winding hallways that lead to catacombs festooned with traps.

Larry Kudlow and Mark Zandi joined a desk filled with CNBC anchors to discuss the recent events, which have Kudlow scratching his hairless head.

“Why didn’t Comey instruct the Attorney General that he heard an obstruction of justice?”, pondered Kudlow.

Zandi made the point that all of these distractions and ‘murkiness’ only serves to derail tax reform. Kudlow conceded that tax cuts might be dead — but wasn’t giving up hope for healthcare reform.

Mark Zandi rejected a ‘thesis’ by a CNBC anchor who stated his sources inside the GOP saying they were going to pursue their own agenda and not Trump’s. Zandi said, ‘at the end of the day, you need leadership from the executive branch to get anything done’ — citing issues with the debt ceiling and tax reform that are being left abandoned due to all of the ginned up scandal.

‘I don’t just believe he’s going to court for impeachment in the house of representatives. […] I can’t just throw in the towel. That would be absolutely incorrect,’ concluded Kudlow.

Markets are in free-fall mode, now lower by 330. The Nasdaq is off by more than 130, as investors flee risk assets for bonds, gold, REITs and utilities. The USD/JPY cross has been shattered, which typically occurs during market routs — now off by 1.76%. The dollar is lower vs the euro by 0.6%. And, the 10 yr treasury yield is down 11bps to 2.21%.

Volatility is the big winner today — the Black Swan bet, higher by 35% to $14.39.

If you weren’t in the aforementioned sectors before today, I have bad news for you. Your portfolio is dead. While you might be cowed by the ferocity of the decline, inclined to wait a little while more — as the pervasiveness of the cancer spreads and embeds itself into the psyche of the weakest amongst us — capital is being lost. You can sit there, pretending that this sell off is just like the others, or do something about it.

After all, don’t you remember how the market was pre-Trump? It wasn’t very good at all. How do you think the market will be post-Trump, amidst gunfire from right wing militias, invading the genteel neighborhoods of the Bernie Sanders elite for their food stores?

Ah, the sweet sounds and smells of finality. We’ve been waiting for this moment and it’s finally here. It’s what the ark was designed and built for. Now all of last year was a bit of a test run for us, bogging down inside of bonds, utes and gold — eagerly and feverishly clamoring for fresh storms. Sadly, they were delayed thanks to a great naivety amongst Wall Street who pretended that Trump would be accepted and his policies enacted. Slowly but surely, you are beginning to see that I was, in fact, correct, if off by a few months.

The Catherine Wheel is spinning fast, affixed to the very basest and most idiotic traders on Wall Street — the hot money crowd. These are the people who’ve been pressing gains, on margin, in 3-d printer stocks and all of the other perfidious industries that are bound to be broken and cracked asunder.

Listen to me now, for this is your last warning call: the storm is here. I’ve come to save a few, then watch everyone else drown.

You can’t say I didn’t warn you fuckers. Since when do you have an actual idea how to manage money on your own? The timeline that I am keenly aware of displayed a group of morons who got lucky after election day, felt a lot of hubris because of it, and has been fucking up ever since then.

Meanwhile, it was this guy who got you into uranium stocks in the beginning of the year for an 80% win, an unheard of anomaly. And it will be this guy who stems the bleeding, setting you back on the path for righteousness to pursue the American dream — replete with fire and brimstone.

Stocks are set to plunge by more than 200, based off memogate. It really is a confluence of events that have accumulated that have traders believing in ZERO economic stimulus items being passed by Congress. How could they, after all, whilst busy chasing their tails and this Russian business?

European stocks are off by 1%, bitcoins are higher by 3.5% and gold is shining like a brand new Ivanka Trump bracelet, higher by 1.5%.

Bonds are rising too, with yields on the  10yr down 7 basis points to 2.25%.

The knee-jerk reaction to any meaningful sell off will be ‘buy the dip, we’re all homos. Let’s suck some dicks.’ But that’s because you’ve been programmed to be stupid. The success in beating down the VIX will prove to be a key factor in defeating many of you in the days and weeks to come.

We’re overdue a bigly market sell off. Get your portfolios crash ready.

Top picks: TLT, GLD

Rep. Al Green (D, Tx) said he will be calling for the impeachment of President Trump today — based on a few handwritten memos belonging to James Comey that were ferried to sources inside the main stream media. Forget about facts, Werewolf Green, as he’s known in DC, wants Trump out now.

Today on the floor of the Congress of the United States of America, I will call for the Impeachment of the President between 9am & 10am CST.

— Congressman Al Green (@RepAlGreen) May 17, 2017

Werewolf Green says Trump ‘has to answer for his obstruction of justice.’

.@RepAlGreen to @ABC: “The president is not within his rights…when it comes to obstruction of justice.” https://t.co/tTVq2aJqWb pic.twitter.com/dbOh0tKMMr

— ABC News Politics (@ABCPolitics) May 16, 2017

It’s not the political expedient thing to do, this is what we must do to maintain our democracy,” Green said.

Actual Werewolf, Texas

“A good many people assume that impeachment means that the President will be found guilty. It does not. Impeachment is the genesis of the process. The revelation are likely to be revealed in the Senate and that’s where the trial actually takes place.”

What a patriot! For the love of the republic and MUH democracy, please, let’s undemocratically rush to impeachment based off nothing at all.