Silver, Gold, REITs, Utes, Bonds — Everything Else is Dead

If you weren’t in the aforementioned sectors before today, I have bad news for you. Your portfolio is dead. While you might be cowed by the ferocity of the decline, inclined to wait a little while more — as the pervasiveness of the cancer spreads and embeds itself into the psyche of the weakest amongst us — capital is being lost. You can sit there, pretending that this sell off is just like the others, or do something about it.

After all, don’t you remember how the market was pre-Trump? It wasn’t very good at all. How do you think the market will be post-Trump, amidst gunfire from right wing militias, invading the genteel neighborhoods of the Bernie Sanders elite for their food stores?

Ah, the sweet sounds and smells of finality. We’ve been waiting for this moment and it’s finally here. It’s what the ark was designed and built for. Now all of last year was a bit of a test run for us, bogging down inside of bonds, utes and gold — eagerly and feverishly clamoring for fresh storms. Sadly, they were delayed thanks to a great naivety amongst Wall Street who pretended that Trump would be accepted and his policies enacted. Slowly but surely, you are beginning to see that I was, in fact, correct, if off by a few months.

The Catherine Wheel is spinning fast, affixed to the very basest and most idiotic traders on Wall Street — the hot money crowd. These are the people who’ve been pressing gains, on margin, in 3-d printer stocks and all of the other perfidious industries that are bound to be broken and cracked asunder.

Listen to me now, for this is your last warning call: the storm is here. I’ve come to save a few, then watch everyone else drown.