YOU CANNOT STOP AMERICA — ALL ABOARD THE HAMBURGER TRAIN

I actually own this stock from the $30s and have marveled at the market finally adjusting to its valuation and gunning it higher. They’re also opening a Shake Shack in Princeton soon, which is bound to be jam packed every single hour of operation.

The idea of buying SHAK now, after such an extended move, is pretty simple.

You cannot stop the carnivorous American — but can only hope to contain him.

Food is a right, not a luxury.

Shake Shack is the best in class — McDonald’s and Wendy’s eat large dicks.

The restaurant sector has been on fire this year, as American wheel one another in barrows and cash their welfare checks in order to stuff extreme delicacies into their jowls.

While some might point to a new rich, one that is health nutty and who eschews meat for its evil properties, those same people forget that those new rich and aspirational folk are soon to be extinct mammals. Americans are being created every day, some by procreation, others by border crossings. Once assimilated in this vast land of milk and honey, they want to consume.

In 50 years hence, all yoga instructors will be dead, vegans annihilated, and all that will be left is burger eating goblins.

Long SHAK.

Well, well, well what do we have here? After about a decade of sleeping on the job, an economist at Goldman has awoken from his slumber to report that the US is flat broke, getting broker, and there’s nothing that can be done about it.

According to forecasts from bank’s chief economist, the federal deficit will increase from $825 billion (or 4.1 percent of gross domestic product) to $1,250 (5.5 percent of GDP) by 2021. And by 2028, the bank expects the number to balloon to $2.05 trillion (7 percent of GDP).

“An expanding deficit and debt level is likely to put upward pressure on interest rates, expanding the deficit further,” Jan Hatzius – Goldman’s top economist – wrote Sunday. “While we do not believe that the U.S. faces a risk to its ability to borrow or repay, the rising debt level could nevertheless have three consequences long before debt sustainability becomes a major obstacle.”

Economic growth should jump above 3 percent in 2018 thanks to the stimuli, the CBO said, but the acceleration will likely prove brief and debt held by the public soaring to $28.7 trillion by the end of fiscal 2028.

That could create a precarious situation for Congress if the economy faces an economic downturn in the near term, Hatzius wrote, hampering legislators’ ability provide additional fiscal stimulus in times of economic downturn.

“Lawmakers might hesitate to approve fiscal stimulus in the next downturn in light of the already substantial budget deficit,” the economist said. “While we would expect some additional loosening of fiscal policy during the next downturn, there is a good chance in our view that it would be less aggressive than it was in the last few recessions.”

“The current fiscal expansion … must at some point give way not just to a neutral stance, which we expect by 2020, but to a tightening of fiscal policy that could restrict growth,” Hatzius wrote.

The great lie that Goldman and other banks like it are pushing now is that high deficits is forcing rates higher. In a natural world, this might be true. But in our world where the dollar is currency reserve and the banks make up the rules as they go along, this is entirely artificial. There isn’t any tangible inflation, as evidenced by the CPI. So why in the fuck is the Fed raising rates? The only outcome this is guaranteeing, given the fiscal deficit and Congressional inability to manage a budget, is a collapse.

If we cannot extricate ourselves from a fiscal deficit during the good times, what in the fuck will happen during contraction?

Short term, enjoy the rallies and the perversion of GAAP accounting, because long term our fate is secured and we’re all fucked.

I’m so glad no one can ban me from my own site, at least not yet.

Let me paint a picture for you.

You’re cutting your grass with one of those faggot non-machine grass cutters when an old man with a shot gun presses upon you with this question, gun to face.

‘Son, you don’t know who the hell am I — but you’re gonna give me your damned best stock idea right now or help me god I will put a hole in your face the size of Nebraska. Now go on and put that damned grass cutter down and give me your best idea — and make it a good one.’

This is mine.

Try and beat me.

Pro tip: you can’t.

I mean this in this post disrespectful way imaginable: no one gives a shit about Italian bond yields, till meatballs bounce. Also, the Turks have never been more fucked than they are now — and that’s a fact.

Turkey’s Lira blowing out to record lows.

Back to Italy. Everyone is making such a big deal over the fact that Italy has the most debt in Europe, and is entirely fucked long term, and now rates are skyrocketing higher. Not only that, the German-Italian spread is bloooooowing the fuck out. Not only that, the contagion is spreading to the other PIGS, mainly Portugal, Spain and Ireland. French yields are edging higher too — ECB crisis style, amidst sharply lower yields for the good balanced sheet Eurocucks.

So if you look closely at the set of metrics above — it bodes poorly for the overall health of the ECB. In theory, the ECB is supposed to be this giant block of nations, all for one and one for all. But we’ve seen the balkanization of the alliance in numerous occasions, only mended together by unchecked spending and balance sheet rejiggering — subjugating the Germans to the debtFAGS represented by the PIGS (Portugal, Italy, Greece, Spain).

The devious trick is getting you, the unwashed hamburger eater, believing this is going to lead to another black swan event — sending stocks tumbling lower. After all, Argentina is collapsing, foreign banks are getting hammered, and our consumer cyclicals and other old man stocks are getting blown out — all due to this new paradigm that demands higher rates because of some imaginary inflation risk.

On paper, I should be bearish. But my muscle memory over the past 10 years demands that I chalk this crisis up to more nothing — a mere way station on the path to even more hedonism and even more riches. It’s easy to get bearish — because logic demands that we should be worried about things like math and human emotion. However, at least for now and until proven otherwise, the prevailing emotion is greed through higher prices.

Plus, we got the fictitious China trade war figured out now.

“I think we’ve made very meaningful progress,” he told CNBC’s “Squawk Box.” “Now it’s up to both of us to make sure that we can implement it. We came away with a very comprehensive framework agreement that needs to be implemented, but has lots of different aspects,” he said. Asked by CNBC’s Becky Quick whether investors should view his comments over the weekend that a trade war has been put on hold as a glass half-full or half-empty scenario, Mnuchin said, “It’s completely half-full.”

Futures are +228. Happy Monday.

Any ideas you had making money on the short side are effectively dead, starting with tomorrow’s trading session. Dow futures are +210, Nasdaq +55.

The Trump administration is declaring victory over China tonight, an end to the tumultuous trade war of 2018 that effected absolutely no-one. If there’s one common theme with this Trump regency it is a lot of hat but very little cattle. Sometimes he tries to get cattle, but then they’re quickly stolen from him.

Either way, the status quo has prevailed and globalism is alive and well, a BTFO for the midwestern fuckover states who so desperately desire to become employed by grist mills and steel factories for American blue collared arm sawed the fuck off plebeian labor.

I’d rather be dead, than see my son’s work at a fucking grist mill.

I expect my positions will fly higher tomorrow.

As you were.

Here’s some data to get you prepared for the week ahead, courtesy of Exodus. You fuckers should be eternally grateful.

Here are stocks straddling the 200 day moving average. I know a lot of you are 200 dayFAGS, who love to buy stocks at this key support line. Some of these stocks might be breaking above the 200 day too. If I wanted to, I could simply screen for technicals and find out which one’s are strongest — but I don’t feel like doing it.

Here are stocks that produce a chart of consolidation. After fiddling with the moving averages, I’ve digitized what you cavemen search for in your 10 hours charting sessions in a click of the mouse. Here are stocks with nice charts. Again, I could further enhance this, and so could members of Exodus, but we don’t feel like doing it right now.

Here are stocks that really do well in the month of June. There are a lot of ways to skin this cat — I simply went for high percentage win rate and sorted by stocks with the most data. Looks like people like to get drunk in June.

Here are stocks that are short squeezing higher — ranked high in technicals with a large percentage of the float sold short.

Lastly, here’s an interesting exercise. I like to profile for what’s working inside the platform. On the issue of buying stocks that are heavily shorted, there is always debate whether or not these stocks actually do better than stocks that are not shorted. Here is the data.

All stocks, 5,000+: median YTD return +0.32%

Stocks with less than 10% of shares sold short: median return +0.29%

Stocks over 10%: Boom +3.12%

It’s with this sort of reverse engineering that I found the perfect combination or profile for investable stocks. This method is used in my quantitative strategies, posted every month.

Late last week all of the rumor milling had to do with China telling America to fuck off and how a deal was not gonna happen. We had Peter “Fuck China” Navarro out there — talking shit — cursing out people at the dinner table, and of course the Chinese Minister who roundly rebuked the report that China would slash the trade deficit by $200b.

Lo and behold, that’s exactly what the fuck is going on here. Peter and his “China Last” delegation has been showing slideshows of US military might and how we drop bombs on people for small shit — like looking at the US sideways. Our intimidation campaigns appear to be bearing some delicious fruit. The homohammers from CNBC, regrettably, now report that China is gonna slow their roll and reduce the speed by which they fuck the Statue of Liberty.

Source: CNBC (dick handlers)

China and the U.S. have mutually agreed to “substantially reduce” the yawning trade imbalance between the two countries, a joint statement read on Saturday, in a move that will involve the Chinese boosting more of what they buy from American producers.

Amid fears of a global trade war and rising tensions between the world’s two largest economies, both China and the U.S. have entered bilateral talks to bolster cooperation. In a statement issued by the White House, both parties forged a “consensus on taking effective measures to substantially reduce the United States trade deficit in goods with China.”

Just a day ago, both countries were sharply at odds over a claim, made by White House Economic Advisor Larry Kudlow, that China would move to cut its trade deficit with the U.S. by $200 billion annually.

Left unclear was exactly how much the Chinese would boost its purchases of U.S. goods. The Wall Street Journal reported on Saturday that American negotiators fell short in their efforts to get the Chinese to commit to an exact deficit reduction figure, with the two sides bickering all night over the statement’s language.

The trade imbalance has long been a thorny and intractable topic in the Sino-US relationship. Commerce Department data recently showed that imbalance between what China buys from the U.S. and vice versa hit a record in 2017 at over $375 billion.

On this news, I expect ancient wooden machinery to be wheeled into the city square first thing Monday morning. The townspeople will gather and dissidents will be rounded up for expeditious clippings from the dick guillotine.

JUST IN: In joint statement with the US, China says it will “significantly increase purchases of United States goods and services” to “help support growth and employment in the United States.”https://t.co/vpyWbVRRy9 pic.twitter.com/OZ0CU8vqPJ

— CNBC Now (@CNBCnow) May 19, 2018

Top picks: BILI, IQ, ZX

My enemies are making scores of money in their SOXS positions, all at my expense. I am literally paying for them to laugh at me. Meanwhile, I just snapped my winning streak, like a cold, hard, pretzel, booting out of UCTT for a humiliating 10% loss. I had such high hopes when I bought UCTT. I envisioned myself out there in the woods and the winds, running freely amidst the gazelles — profiting from the hubris of others. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Instead, I sit here, downtrodden and sullen, sipping on lukewarm coffee, with tears streaming down my face (cue that music and shit below) onto the keyboard below.

God willing, said tears will cause an electric shock and put me out of my misery. What an ironic end it would be.

Meanwhile, I sold the BZUN earlier today — I am sure my enemies are getting into it now for the true move higher, as I am the Dennis Gartman of blogs — a curse and a insidious stain on trading turrets throughout the galaxy.

In addition to UCTT, I am getting face punched in BILI, ENPH, VALE, and even IQ. When does it end? Is it possible for profits to escape me once again? These questions, and more, shall be answered in a shocking Shakespearian revelation during next week’s blogs, in The Fuckery of Fly’s Life — starring George “The Animal” Hamilton.

Over on the quant side of my investments, she is up another 0.55% — mocking me. I feel as if my robotic mind is purposely trying to cajole me into punching it in its face. How is my robotic mind trading better than my actual mind? Is it, perhaps, due to a chemical imbalance that leads me to ruin?

Tune in next week for these answers.

One cannot stop the progress of Le Fly.

I sold BZUN for +10%. Proceeds shift to cash.

In case you thought the US-Chinese trade talks were going swimmingly, think again fucked face. The Ministry spokesman just came out and denied the rumors that China would acquiesce to Trump and reduce its trade deficit by $200b.

Source: CNBC

China has not offered to cut its trade surplus with the U.S. by $200 billion, contrary to reports, China’s Foreign Ministry said Friday.

Ministry spokesman Lu Kang said that the claims were not true while speaking at a daily news briefing about the ongoing trade talks between the world’s two largest economies, according to Reuters.

“This rumor is not true. This I can confirm to you,” the spokesman told the press. “As I understand, the relevant consultations are ongoing and they are constructive,” he adding, without going into further detail.

Various news outlets, citing anonymous sources, reported Thursday that China offered to meet President Donald Trump’s demand of the trade surplus cut, which included increased purchases of American goods.

As a result, futures have gone lower — almost 33 Nasdaq removed from the national treasury.

Gold is down, copper is down, God damn it even oil is down. The dollar, however, is up — due to flight to safety. It’s starting to look like a do-nothing Friday is in the cards.

To be honest, the market feels like it wants to go away because it’s May. Then again, every time I get the idea to short stocks I get my cock chopped off. Maybe micro-analyzing each and every tick is overtly unhealthy for the human spirit. Perhaps we should eat more sandwiches, laugh more at weak people, and drink more protein shakes.

Happy Friday, fucked faces.